


Nephelai

by cork_run



Category: Original Work
Genre: Multi, Original Character(s), Original Fiction, Originally Posted Elsewhere, Science Fiction
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-18
Updated: 2018-10-06
Packaged: 2019-01-19 08:00:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 17
Words: 171,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12406329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cork_run/pseuds/cork_run
Summary: Nadia is getting her masters and has to go on a yearlong trip to a strange planet with her professor. Everything goes wrong as some unexpected guests show up and they have to deal with living on a remote planet away from civilization for way longer they expected, while also trying to get out, without giving in to their captors.





	1. Chapter 1

**Early September**

Nadia took her seat in the lecture hall, close to the front row but not in the teacher's face. She rooted around in her bag for a second and produced a bottle of apple juice. She preferred the old type when they simply used synthetic flavor in order to imitate the extinct fruit. Now the fruit was brought back, but it seemed different somehow.

The hall was slowly filling up with students, most of them around her age, early twenties. Chatter filled the room until it grew to a dull roar. It got loud enough for Nadia to get out some headphones and her phone when the professor walked in. He had barely entered the room and the noise stopped. Tense silence hung thick like fog as he set his coffee mug down and looked at the students. His curly hair was tied back into a knot as normal with a number 2 pencil stuck through it. Nadia always thought he looked too young to be a professor. His hair was jet black and his face only showed slight lines on his forehead and around his eyes. He cleared his throat.

"All of you know what I'm here to tell you. Your independent study assignments. The big, final, year long assignments that start in a month for you to get your masters."

He nodded as students shifted in their seats. Nadia's heart sped up. She had been looking forward to this since her freshman year. Professor Brenley continued in that accent she could never quite place. It wasn't very strong, but it sounded western european. He reached behind his head and pulled the pencil out of his bun. He started to spin it around his thumb. It was an odd and slightly mesmerizing habit of his. Anything remotely pencil shaped he'd spin and twine around his long fingers, switching it between hands and rarely dropping it. When he did drop it, which was only about once in every five classes, he'd swear under his breath and stare at it for split second, looking almost offended.

"I have personally assigned you to somewhere in the galaxy to pursue this study. You better not come whining to me, because I spend a long ass time on the assignments." A few nervous chuckles bounced around the crowd. He picked up a paper and started listing the names. Nadia waited. She didn't have any friends in this particular class, and 'Waters' was not exactly near the beginning of the alphabet. Some of the places people were going seemed serious, government work, military bases. Brenley made a comment on each one, a sly remark or fact about the facility.

It seemed to take around a week before he finished with the person before her. He looked up, "I'm pretty proud of arranging this one. Nadia Waters, Eve program, Nephelai. Talk to me after class, I doubt you know what the Eve program is."

Nadia could feel the eyes of hundreds boring into her. She sunk into her chair as Brenley continued on the list. He soon finished up.

"Alright. I don't want anybody to come scrambling to me with thanks or complaints, you will get all your info in an email sometime today. Except for Nadia." The students started filing out, chatting excitedly with each other. Nadia approached the front desk slowly, her books clasped in front of her chest. The desk rattled as Brenley placed his hands on it. He was fairly tall, probably around 6'2 and very thin. His skin was a golden brown and his eyes were dark, almost black.

"Right. Every other evolutionary bio major I've placed in some high tech artificial selection place, or studying some cloned ancient earth animals. I think I even got one guy on the prehistoric team." Nadia nodded her head, duly impressed and slightly jealous of the others. She had always wanted to see the cloned mammoths. Brenley smiled at her expression, "Well, those chumps have nothing compared to you. Do you remember the Beyersdorf machine?"

"Some German guy managed to get a chimp into the future right? By harnessing the power of a black hole, warping time." She tilted her head. "Well not exactly harnessing, but you know what I mean."

"Exactly. Put it in a little capsule. Black holes pull everything in, light, time, all that. So when you go near one, time bends. He managed to get it to... skip, kind of." Brenley grabbed a piece of paper. "Imagine we're going along this paper, like it's a timeline." He dragged his finger over the top of it. "And we start here." He poked one edge of the paper. "What he did is this." He bent the paper in half, touching the opposite ends of it together. "He got the chimp to just pass this way, from one place in time to another. Whereas the rest of us go the long way." His finger traced over the top loop of the paper.

"Well anyways, some crazy scientist, Russian I think," he looked to the side, "they're always Russian or German. Anyways, he managed to build a Beyersdorf big enough for a solar system. Except switch the principal around. The planet goes the long way and we skip ahead. Combine that with a sun with only one planet, you've got a planet where you can speed up time. Do you see where I'm getting?"

Nadia bobbed her head slowly, her eyes miles away.

"In case you haven't gotten there yet, with this huge-ass contraption we can watch evolution happen in front of our very eyes. They put some organic molecules on the surface of the relatively new planet Nephelai, then pressed 'fast forward' so to speak for, a couple thousand years. Once some cells started to grow, they would pause it every once in a while to see the progress. They've collected hundreds of sample organisms from over time, but for now they've kind of paused it for the time being. They have some sociologists and anthropologists studying how civilizations are built. They've got an entire city built there."

Nadia put her books down. "So what do I get to do?"

"You, my friend, get access to Nephelai in this most recent manifestation. You'll be looking at all of the steps of evolution they have on hand."

A smile creeped its way across Nadia's face. "Thank-"

Brenley cut her off, "Don't thank me, I did this as much for me as you." He smirked, "I'm a selfish bastard like that."

"How does it help you?"

"Simple, I'm coming with you. Of course I have a second thing planned, if you're uncomfortable with that.." His eyes glinted as Nadia paused, considering going on a year-long trip with him. She knew him better than the other professors, but he was a little weird. He was called 'Batshit Brenley' by a large portion of the student body. Nadia looked back up at his cheshire cat face.

"Of course I'll go. It sounds like a once in a lifetime experience."

Brenley walked away from the desk, pumping his fist into the air, "Hell yeah!" He took a few hop-skip steps then turned back to Nadia. "Sorry, it's just I wouldn't be able to go unless you said yes. We leave tomorrow morning."

"What?! I thought you said they start in a month!"

"Well, everyone else starts in a month." He waved his hand between himself and Nadia, "We, we start tomorrow morning. Just take what you'd take for a vacation. It's very cold there but no need to pack warm, we'll be getting some of the local garb. You can leave everything not needed in your dorm room. I'll tell them not to get rid of it. Meet me in my office tomorrow at eight. Oh, and bring your passport."

Nadia was barely listening, numbly thinking about what she'd tell her parents, what she'd tell her roommate. She jolted back to awareness to Brenley snapping his fingers in front of her face.

"Hey! tomorrow at eight, alright?"

She nodded and turned to leave, Brenley's voice pulled her back.

"I'm looking forward to this. Apparently the organisms are pretty cool, not the normal prokaryotes you see in evo bio."

Nadia nodded, thanked him, and walked out the door.

Back at the dorm, Skylar stared at her.

"You're going on your year-long trip, to a secret planet, with Batshit Brenley, and you leave tomorrow."

Nadia sighed. "Yup. I like him but he's… Brenley. He talks really fast, he has no regard for lab safety, and he's just weird. One time I was in a lab with him and he walked by with a broom, the handle of which had a half melted candle tied to it with a bit of red ribbon. I asked him why he had a candle hanging from his broom and he just said 'You never know…' in a weirdly mysterious voice. Like what the hell."

Sky laughed, "Really? I love the guy. He can be brutally honest, which is… fun to experience, but I think his weirdness is kinda charming in a way."

"Where are you going, anyways?"

"It's a lab researching the Polymerase Chain Reaction. It's like an offshoot of Vozmet, I think."

"Really? Vozmet? That's awesome! Maybe you'll get to see Krupin."

Sky laughed. "Yeah, I doubt it. That guy is a billionaire genius. I bet he doesn't even do much research any more, just rakes in cash."

"I love Krupin. I mean the guy created life. That's like the definition of crazy scientist. And I fucking love crazy scientists. Also, he like, cured cancer. That's pretty huge."

"You just like him because he's attractive."

"Okay, well that doesn't hurt."

Sky chuckled. "Whatever, man. Point is there's like a 1 in a billion chance I'll see him. You should go pack though. If you leave tomorrow."

Naida walked back to her bed, where clothes and belongings lay scattered everywhere. She pulled a bag off the top of a dresser and started stuffing things into it. Her computer, some clothes, a mini-printer, toothbrush, and some odds and ends. It really didn't take up much space. She pulled out her phone, wondering what to say to her parents. Eventually she decided on a message rather than calling them. Her fingers blurred over the hologram- ike surface. 'Mom, Dad, my independent study starts a bit earlier than the others… tomorrow actually. It was just a scheduling thing. Don't worry I'll be fine, I'll tell you when I get there.' With that done, she went to bed. She had never found it easy to get to sleep. After almost an hour of fitful turning, she drifted into nothingness.

The bright buzzing of her phone jolted her awake and she blearily got out of bed, joints slow. It was almost eight. With a racing heart she grappled with some pants and a shirt before running out the door, saying a quick goodbye to Sky on the way out. The sun blinded her as she walked out of her dorm. Salus was a very stable planet as far as temperature went. It varied wildly over the entire surface, but in one spot it almost always stayed the same. It orbited the red dwarf star Proxima Centauri, one of three stars in the Alpha Centauri system. They were the closest to Earth's sun. Because Proxima Centauri is so small, Salus had become tidally locked. It orbited the star but didn't spin, the side that faced the star always faced the star.

Due to this, one side of the planet was in a perpetual ice age, and the other had a never-ending hurricane in ungodly heat. People referred to the sun side as 'Florida.' But between these two extremes, there was a belt of habitable land that had long since been colonized- first with research bases, then slowly growing over with civilian populations. It was warm in the habitable zone, and rained almost every other day. Rivers snaked through the colonies, and swampland was abundant. There was no day or night, just a comfortable 67 degree dusk that only got warmer when the fairly active Proxima Centauri flared. Which was often enough. During flares, Nadia had no doubt that Florida got completely hammered, but the colonies only felt a slight increase in heat.

It was a short walk to the professors' office building, a rather disappointing structure, short and plain. Nadia entered, looking around timidly. Brenley's office was at the end of the hall, the name card a mess compared to the others. 'E. Brenley' was scrawled on it in a permanent pen. Nadia realised she didn't even know his first name. Elliot? Ethan? He was one of those professors that most just referred to by their last name, not Professor Brenley or Dr. Brenley. Not even Mr. Brenley. It was just Brenley. She had become used to thinking of it as a mononym. She set her bag down with a thump and knocked. A rustle emanated from inside, followed by a crash and swearing. The door was wrenched open, Brenley stood in the doorway, blinking blearily. His hair framed his head in a six inch dark halo of curls. Wrinkles stretched across his shirt and pants. He looked down.

"Hey. I'll be ready in a second."

Nadia peered past him. "Did you… sleep in there?"

Brenley looked back. "Well, yes. But not always, I'm not a total loser. I just had some work here, so I stayed the night."

Something told Nadia he was lying. The amount of clothes and junk lying around told a different story. Brenley walked back inside and grabbed a bag, along with a pile of papers. He glanced at Nadia.

"You got your passport?"

Nadia nodded, watching in interest as Brenley pulled back his hair and tied it with a quick efficiency using a spiral hair tie. She shifted her weight.

"What does E stand for?"

Brenley walked past her, papers under his arm. "What?"

"E Brenley. What does the E stand for?"

"Oh. Elias. Don't you dare start calling me Ellie though."

As they walked to the car park, Nadia trailed the haphazard professor. "So how are we getting there?"

"Commercial flight to the nearest planet, Eos. The university is cheap as hell, so it's economy class. Then it's a private flight sanctioned by the program, Eve."

Nadia tilted her head as Brenley unlocked his beat up car and loaded his bags in. "How did they get enough money to buy a planet? Let alone a Beyersdorf big enough, and private ships and everything."

"I have no idea. I think they got some pretty rich guys hitched on their little bandwagon. I'm guessing the Stafford foundation had something to do with it. Matt Stafford has funded big research projects before. Also, they probably have a killer writer for grant requests"

"Matt Stafford? Doesn't he do, like, philanthropy stuff?"

"Mostly. But he's rich enough that he also does quite a bit of science stuff as well." He closed the trunk and glanced at her, "Here. Catch." He tossed his car keys and she snatched them out of the air.

"You want me to drive your car?"

"You can drive, right?"

"Uh yeah, but…"

"I have a bunch of papers I procrastinated on filling out. I'll even start on the ones you have to do. Also we're less likely to get pulled over if this slightly sketchy car is driven by a white woman. Not a black man."

She shrugged. "An unfortunately true fact."

"Yep." He stepped into the passenger seat and Nadia pressed the power button. It started with an electric hum.

"When are self driving cars going to be the main mode of transportation? They came out awhile ago, but most people still use normal cars."

Brenley shrugged, "When they aren't so expensive. Then a little after that. Some people don't trust them, for some reason. I'd've gotten one if they didn't cost a fortune." He shuffled through his papers. "You need to fill out all of this shit. I'll write stuff in for you. It's just saying you won't sue if you… die or something. Also just general info and boring insurance stuff."

She chuckled, "Fairly sure I won't be sueing anyone if I die."

"Well if anyone could do that, it'd be an American. I think they knew that when they wrote up the war and peace of insurance forms." As they pulled away from the charging station he clicked a pen. "What's your middle name?"

"Elisabeth. With an S, not a Z."

"Mm. You're 23, right?"

"Yep."

"What's your birthday?"

"5th of february."

He nodded slowly and scribbled it down. "One of my oldest friends, his birthday is the 6th." He continued asking her questions, simultaneously filling out his own forms. She had no idea how he kept it all straight in his head. Somehow he managed to finish the massive stack by the time they got to the spaceport. He hastily stuffed them into his bag, and they walked into the building.

It took hours to get through the spaceport. Security lines dragged, moving as fast as sleeping snails. While they waited, Nadia watched the ships launching, the supports disconnecting with cracks as the ships struggled against gravity. Orange tongues of the after-burners flared, roaring like thunder. Across the way a ship was coming in to land. The landing engines slowing its descent. Struts extended and softened the impact.

Nadia flipped through her passport after the security lady gave it back. She looked at Brenley, "Why do we need passports? Isn't Nephelai technically 'international waters'?"

He nodded. "Yeah, but Eos is a british planet. Not much on it, but it's still owned by Britain."

"Do you know when passports will be completely gone?"

"Not really. I'm guessing for America and some other big countries they'll be gone in the next 5 years or so. Past that maybe twenty? It takes a while to get everybody on the same page with retina scans and stuff."

Nadia watched their ship being guided into it's launch spot. "They really should rename 'Air England'. I mean, space travel doesn't have much to do with air, does it."

Brenley snorted, "'Vacuum England' isn't quite as snappy."

She smiled. "I suppose not."

After a while of waiting, slouched in uncomfortable plastic chairs, they finally boarded the ship. The seats were packed close to each other, cramping legs and backs. The trip took around 10 hours. Getting to different planets didn't take much time if you were going 70% the speed of light, and getting to different galaxies didn't take much time if you could create wormholes. It took half the time to get to the wormhole that had been created ages ago just outside the Proxima Centauri system. Brenley, who sat in the window seat, peered at it in the distance.,

"Just coming up on Warp Drive."

"Really?"

"Yup." He leaned back, "Take a look."

She stretched over, looking through the window. Warp Drive was the name given to the second wormhole ever created by humans. The first being Old Faithful, which lay a comfortable distance from the solar system. Warp Drive had been a voted upon name by US citizens as the US had built it and let other countries use it. Apparently the citizens who voted were a bit sassy and loved Star Trek.

Old Faithful had been more of a test. It led to a very empty spot in space, which had soon become the convergence point of other wormholes. If they wanted to get to Earth or Mars, they'd go through Warp Drive, then travel for around 20 minutes through the affectionately called 'galactic intersection' to Old Faithful, and then go through it. Old Faithful and Warp Drive were the most commonly used. Since the three main colonized planets were Earth, Mars, and Salus, other planets and systems mainly harbored research teams, colonizers, and some small civilian populations. However, there weren't any other earth-like planets in the centauri or solar system. So more wormholes were created. There were around 10 now, all leading to vastly different parts of the universe.

They would be going through Galilei. Even though the first two wormholes had originally been made by the US, that was before ISCA. ISCA, which was pronounced iss-cah, stood for the International Space Colonization Agency. ISCA was basically a space UN, but only for space related matters. They had their own scientists from all different countries, and every nation chipped in to help pay for colonization teams and ships and the like. It divvied up land on planets after they had been colonized, and for the most part there weren't any complaints from nations about the decisions, as Mars and Salus were two whole planets. There was plenty of space for everyone. Since then, ISCA had recently started giving countries entire planets and let them colonize them themselves. Which led to Eos being an entirely British planet.

And ISCA had taken over the wormholes. The US had agreed to hand them over, as they were incredibly expensive to keep stable. Now, they only had to pay for a fraction of them, in return for the fact that every nation got to use them. ISCA was also in charge of creating the new wormholes, such as Galilei. The names were still voted on, this time by anyone, which lead to names ranging from the very scientific Galilei to the very unscientific Wormy.

Nadia was just able to spot Warp Drive in the distance. It was a bizarre and incredible sight. The light from the stars curved around it in einstein rings, bands of light that became thinner and more concentrated the closer they got to the wormhole. In the middle the stars on the other side could be seen, stars thousands of lightyears away. As they moved slowly closer the rings of light shifted, like a fisheye lens or a magnifying glass. Light slid in and out of the sphere that seemed to suck it in. Warp Drive was big. It could probably fit almost 200 ships through it at the same time if they flew close. It was nowhere near as big as a planet, but for a purely man-made thing, it was big. Brenley grinned as they approached it, the fisheye getting wider and the view on the other side expanding,

"I love going through these things."

A voice pinged over the PA, "We might experience some turbulence as we navigate warp drive. The captain has illuminated the seatbelt sign. Please return to your seats before we enter the wormhole." The closer they got the bigger the fisheye looked. As they gradually entered the wormhole the ship shook, rattling a kind of freaky amount. Outside the window, the einstein rings flipped over themselves and inverted. It reminded Nadia of one of those mind tricks where there's a silhouette of a person spinning and you can switch which direction it's going which messes your mind up a bit. Slowly the starscape they had come from became the fisheyed one while the originally fisheyed stars became their surroundings. Nadia made a face at Brenley. "Euuugh, these are so weird to go through."

"Cool though, right?"

"Well, yeah. But still weird." As they drifted away from Warp Drive, Brenley leaned his head back against the seat and closed his eyes. He was asleep in a manner of minutes. Nadia could never sleep on ships, so she contented herself to watch the terrible action movies that were offered as entertainment. He finally woke up when they came in to land. Landing was always a jarring experience, and generally not fun.

As they landed and taxied in, woman's voice came over the PA. "Eos is under the process of being terraformed right now. The temperature is fairly cool. Around 30 degrees Fahrenheit or -2 Celsius. However, the atmosphere is not sustainable for human breathing, so we have provided masks for your use. As you board your next ship, please hand these to the attendants and they will get back to us. Thank you for flying air England, and have a wonderful day."

Nadia and Brenley accepted the masks from the attendant walking down the aisle. They had elastic bands that snapped over their heads and flexible tubes that hung down and connected to a C shaped gas tank hanging over their necks like those travel pillows. They worked in a way that the mask was still partly open to the atmosphere, allowing people to still talk to each other. Nadia guessed that they sensed a drop in pressure when the user breathed in and opened the tank valve, filling the space around the mouth with air. She took an experimental breath and heard a hiss of gas as cold air surrounded her mouth. Brenley inspected his mask, fiddling with the mouthpiece. Nadia looked at him,

"I think they're opening the doors, you might want to put that on."

He pulled it over his head and placed the tank on his neck. "These things are weird."

"Didn't they use them on Mars for a while?"

"Yup. Way before I was born though."

He followed her out the ship and she looked around at the planet. It was a desert. Most planets were before terraforming. She looked up at him, "You think they used ammonia for this?"

"Maybe, I have no idea. They might be doing what they did on Salus, with the dark colored extremophiles. Ammonia worked well on Mars because it raised the temperature, y'know, as greenhouse gasses do. But it also provided nitrogen to the air, since before terraforming the atmosphere on Mars was really thin. 1% of Earth's at sea level." They walked towards the tiny spaceport to gather their bags. Cold air bit at her skin and leeched through the seams in her clothes.

"Huh. I didn't know that."

"I thought they taught that in like, basic earth science. High school level."

"I skipped earth science. Never liked it, and they offered biology a year early for kids who wanted."

He shrugged, "The terraforming stuff is interesting. I mean, they covered quite a bit of Salus with dark colored lichen to heat it up. That's pretty cool. Of course back then it was Proxima Centauri B."

They stood by the baggage carousel, they had both taken their masks off and let them hang like necklaces from the tanks.

She stared ahead, her eyes resting on the baggage entrance. "I've never actually been to Earth."

"Really?"

"Nope. I was born on Mars."

"Lincoln I'm guessing."

"Yeah. Then moved to Salus for school. I've never even visited."

"You should try to go sometime. I mean, I was born on Mars too, so I don't know Earth as well as a native, but it's really cool. Civilization hasn't been on Mars for like, any time at all. And Salus even less. So you don't get to see past culture at all. And I'm not just talking about Great Wall of China shit. Just seeing ugly buildings built in the 1970's is interesting."

"I've always wanted to go. Maybe when I'm done with school." She paused, "Wait, where were you born? Like I know it's on Mars, but which colony?"

"Beauvoir."

She grinned, "You're French?"

"Oui."

"I mean I knew you had an accent, but I couldn't quite place it. Which is weird, because you think of French accents as being very distinctive."

"It's a French colony on Mars, since it's so separated from Earth the accents can sound pretty different to your typical Parisian accent. I mean you can tell when someone's an American from Earth and when they're from Lincoln, right?"

"Yeah. Definitely."

"Same goes for us French."

The bags started going around the conveyor belt and Nadia spotted hers, picking it up. "So you speak French?"

"Évidemment."

"Is it your first language?"

"Technically, yes. But I started learning English when I was pretty young. So it was only first by about, three years. Usually people who learn English as a second language later in life have very strong accents for pretty much their entire life. Since I grew up speaking both, mine isn't as strong. Even though I sounded like an absolute baguette when I first came to Lincoln."

She chuckled. "A baguette. You moved to Lincoln for college, right?"

"Yeah. Went to Brindley, undergrad, masters, and doctorate."

"Wow. Brindley is pretty… prestigious isn't it?"

He imitated a posh accent "'The MIT of mars'. I dunno, it was pretty good."

"Did you just do the math thing for them and they let you in or what?"

He smirked, "Eh, close enough." He grabbed his own bags off the conveyer belt. "I think the guy we're supposed to meet is waiting for us on the apron." He snapped his oxygen mask back on and she followed him out to the apron. He shivered as he looked around. "This planet is awfully cold for being named after a goddess of the dawn."

"Yeah, really. They're going to run out of greek and roman gods soon enough."

"I mean, they're already onto demigods." He spotted a man standing by the fence. "I think that's our man."

He was wearing a blazer and a pair of black pants. He looked up as they approached, eyes as dark as a shadow. Brenley walked up to him, looming over the shorter man. The man introduced himself.

"Professor Brenley, I suppose? Thank you for coming, My name's Aeson Sokolowski, I'm going to bring you to Nephelai." They shook hands, Aeson's milky skin contrasting with Brenley's dark complexion. "And this is your student?"

Brenley nodded absently, his eyes caught in the surrounding dunes of Eos, red as the setting sun. Nadia shook Aeson's hand. His grip was limp and pathetic. She could see him watching Brenley out of the corner of his eye, sizing him up. After a brief pause, he pointed at a sleek ship. The sun reflected off of its chrome hull. "That there is the ship we'll be taking to Nephelai. It's around a 4 hour flight, our time slot is in a half hour so we should board." Nadia followed the two men onto the apron. It was still weird going somewhere with Brenley with no other students. The professors somehow didn't seem as human as the other students. She rarely considered where they lived, what they did in their free time. She watched a shoelace trail from Brenley's left foot. The man really was a mess. The only part of him that was vaguely organized was his hair. He seemed to take care of it, even when it was out of it's bun it never looked ratty or dirty. A woman in a high-vis vest opened the hatch for the ship. It was rather roomy inside, there was a round table which was surrounded by a curved couch. Brenley set his bags down before slouching on the couch. Aeson fidgeted with his hands.

"So, just make yourselves at home, I'm actually the captain of ol' MARTY here so I won't be able to talk to you much. We have some movies and stuff if you'd like."

Nadia thanked him then sat opposite Brenley on the couch, Aeson retreated to the flight deck and donned some headphones. His voice was muffled by the door,

"Copy… Mike Alpha Romeo Tango Yankee ready for takeoff. Takeoff checks complete."

Nadia pulled out her book and started to read, Brenley started to wander around the cabin, opening cupboards and looking in shelves. Twenty minutes later, Aeson's voice crackled over the intercom.

"We're taking off soon, you might want to sit down. MARTY's not very big so takeoff can be a bit bumpy."

A small car came along and pushed them onto the takeoff platform. The ship started to rumble and shake as the engines kicked in. Nadia and Brenley were pushed into their seats as the small craft took off. The dunes of Eos receded beneath them as a cloud of dust billowed under the afterburners. As the spaceport grew smaller, Aeson turned the intercom on again,

"It's gonna be bumpy again as we leave the atmosphere."

He wasn't wrong. The tiny craft rattled and shook before settling down outside the atmosphere. Aeson flicked on the electromagnetic engine then walked back into the cabin.

"The engine takes a bit to warm up, but it's on autopilot now, so we should be good until we come in to land."

Nadia glanced at him, "Do you know how the EM drive works?"

"Sorry but, not really."

Brenley's eyes were far off as he stared out the window. "They use electromagnetic waves, light waves, and emit them in a chamber. So basically using light as a propulsion. But light doesn't have any mass. They only reason light is able to go at the speed of light is it's lack of mass. However it does have momentum. They're still kinda trying to figure out how Newton's laws factor in with the existence of them."

Aeson watched him curiously, "Well there you go. Thank you professor."

Brenley didn't respond. He seemed to be caught up in his thoughts. It was rare he wouldn't end up on a multi-hour rant when talking about physics. Aeson glanced between them awkwardly. "Do you have any questions about Eve before we arrive?"

Brenley motioned around the cabin. "This ship may be small, but don't think its price is lost on me. Where do you get money for this? Grants won't pay for fancy little biz-ships."

"Well we have some pretty rich folks-"

Brenley cut him off. "Who?"

"I'm not exactly allowed to say. I'd have to ask for permission."

Nadia smiled slightly at Brenley, who was now openly glaring at Aeson. An awkward silence ensued. The whole flight was awkward, really. None of them knew each other very well and Brenley wasn't exactly a conversationalist. It seemed to be around a week before they came into land. Aeson turned the EM engine off, opting for the smaller rocket fuel engines as they approached Nephelai.

From what Nadia could see, the planet was completely white, swirls of clouds patterned the surface. Their ascent slowed as Aeson turned the landing engines on, orange tongues of flame roared out. They touched down on the peak of a mountain in the middle of a flat concrete pad. Snow swirled around the tiny craft. Aeson led them out into the freezing air. They hurried into a structure next to the landing pad. The entire area was drenched in thick cloud, making it hard to see anything past 30 feet. A small heater hummed inside the structure, where a woman sat at a wide desk. Her grey eyes studied the lanky professor and his wide-eyed student. A placard with gold letters spelled 'Heidi Ormonde'. She looked to be in her forties, with curling brown hair down to her jaw and light skin. Aeson nodded at her,

"Heidi will take you from here. I have to get back to my ship. Enjoy your stay." As he walked out the door Nadia thanked him but he didn't seem to hear. Heidi gestured to a small man behind her.

"If you haven't noticed yet, Nephelai is very cold. If you don't mind, Jame here is going to take your measurements for outer-clothes."

The small man stepped forward with a measuring tape. He motioned for Brenley to raise his arms before wrapping the tape around his chest. The woman continued,

"This planet is pretty special. I'll give you a brief overview. We placed some organic molecules on the surface and reconfigured the atmosphere to be similar enough to earths for humans. The Beyersdorf we use is actually a lot of ships that position themselves around the planet. The planet itself has a pretty special environment. There is a lot of water, but most of it is not in its liquid form, so we get our drinking water from the clouds. The planet has a very warm surface, too warm for most life, which is why the water evaporates. There are some bottom-dwellers that get energy from thermal vents. However, as you saw, there are a lot of mountains that are taller than the clouds. Most animals live around this height. Some live on the peaks, most live in the clouds, flyers. They either photosynthesize and use the hydrogen from collected cloud water to float, or they're predators. This planet doesn't really have plants, just photosynthesizing animals which can range from 1 millimeter long to 200 feet. They're the primary producers. Planes aren't used here due to the huge amount of hydroprotists in the air, even a prop engine would rip them to shreds. We do have to travel a bit to get to our main lab, so we'll be taking one of the local transportation methods, which you will soon see."

The tailor finished up measuring Nadia and cleared his throat.

"What color would you like for the jacket?"

Brenley tilted his head, "Purple" He leaned over to Nadia, "I look good in purple."

"I'll go with grey." Nadia said to the tailor before thanking him as he exited the room. Heidi flicked through her tablet before handing it to them, it had a picture of what looked like a fat cell. Most of the organelles were squished against the cell wall by what seemed to be a hole in the center. She watched their faces studying the picture,

"Thats a cell from one of our photosynthesizers."

Brenley frowned at the large empty circle. "Is that a lipid droplet?"

She shook her head. "That is actually a special organelle only on this planet. The evolved cells are very similar to Earth's, a textbook case of convergent evolution, except for that organelle which is in both the autotrophs and heterotrophs. We've named it 'Hydrosinum', so it is essentially a pocket of hydrogen. It enables the animals to be incredibly light. We can talk about the functions of these cells more once we've arrived at the lab."

The tailor, Jame, walked back out from the door behind Heidi's desk. In his arms, he held the newly made clothes. Nadia decided there must be a machine given how little time it took to make all of it. He handed them over. They were lined with a thick soft fur. The designs were simple yet elegant, both jacket and pants were close fitting. The jacket extended down to mid thigh with high collars and slits up the back, like riding a riding coat. Jame also handed over wide goggles, scarves, gloves, and boots. The goggles looked sleek and shiny in the LED light. They weren't traditional goggles with glass; instead, there were flat camera lenses where the eyes would be. Putting them on, Nadia could see a screen which relayed the feed from the cameras. When she blinked, tiny wipers came down and cleaned the glass. They had microphones and over-ear headphones. Heidi stood and retrieved her set. She showed them how to properly lace the shin-high boots, and wrap the long scarves around their heads so that not an inch of skin was left uncovered. The goggles were a bit disorienting. They had a wider field of view than normal vision. Heidi showed them how to adjust it, given that a fisheye would mess up depth perception. The headphones didn't restrict hearing normal noise at all. A button on the side of them allowed them to connect to other people in order to talk when they were separated. Heidi demonstrated how to 'call' people by just speaking into the mic.

Brenley fiddled with his goggles, inspecting the high tech contraption. He rubbed his fingers over the scarf, feeling the heat trapping fabric. "How much do these… still suits, cost?"

Heidi smiled, "Nothing compared to what a working still suit would cost but they aren't cheap. About six grand. Those goggles are a bit costly."

Brenley raised his eyebrows in appreciation and Nadia stared. "Lord, this thing costs more than I'm worth."

Heidi opened the door and a blast of cold air slammed into them. Nadia was suddenly very thankful for the clothes- she could barely feel the freezing air. Heidi gestured Brenley towards the door and spoke over the com system.

"After you, Muad'dib."

Brenley chuckled and stepped out into the blizzard. She then led them away, assuring them their bags would be safely delivered to where they were staying. They pushed through the wind and snow up a long hill. As they cleared the cloud cover, the winds slowed and the snow stopped.

Nadia inhaled sharply, at the top of the mountain the clouds spread out below them, expanding off into the horizon in all directions. The sun glinted off mountain peaks. In the distance, something breached the clouds, massive wings pushing the air, forming white vortexes. It stayed for a flap of its double wings before diving back down, limbs pulled in for speed. Nadia glanced at Brenley, he had taken his goggles off, his eyes were wide, crinkles at the corners betraying a smile that was hidden by his scarf. Heidi watched their expressions. Her goggles were on her forehead and she had pulled her scarf down below her chin.

"Wait until you see our transport." She pressed the side of her goggles. "Alright, bring him around, Renata."

There was a low keen that reverberated through Nadia's chest as the clouds next to them broke. A massive olive green shape emerged with a figure sitting on top of it. As it continued to rise, Nadia could see it was some sort of animal, almost seventy feet end to end. It was round and wide, about half as wide as it was long. Rippling fins went down its entire length, they were thin and venous, akin to bat wings. Its massive flanks were ribbed and taught, like a cloth stretched over corrugated steel. The beast turned, facing them with its huge head. An eye the size of a viking shield blinked. Nadia wondered how the woman was controlling it.

Heidi laughed at Brenley and Nadia's shocked expressions. She walked up to the beast and stroked its face, which was wet from the cloud condensation.

"This here is Perry. One of our sky whales. They're closer to plants than whales, but the resemblance is there. He's one of the smaller breeds actually, some can get up to 200 feet."

The figure on top maneuvered Perry around so that his side was facing them. A rope ladder descended down his side. Heidi deftly maneuvered the fins and crawled up it. Nadia followed, with Brenley coming last. The sky-whale's skin was slippery and wet, leaflike in texture. A saddle made from some sort of synthetic fabric was strapped onto its back. Next to the saddle, holes the size of silver dollars riddled the skin, crimped close with two flaps, like eyelids. As they sat down in the low seats, Perry keened again and began to descend, the holes opening up and hissing as gas was released. Heidi turned to them,

"Sky whales are pretty much natural zeppelins, they are mostly hydrogen. Those holes are stroma in order to descend. They gain hydrogen by ingesting the water from clouds and separating the hydrogen from the oxygen. You'll see him do it in a bit. They also use the heat generated from the electron transport chain to keep from freezing."

As Perry dipped into the surface of the clouds he opened his mouth. The skin expanded like an accordion, openings appeared between the flaps of skin, reminiscent of gills., Nadia could see the sky through the gaps. The sky whale gulped in the condensation, filtering it from the air. They skimmed the surface of the clouds, the whale rippled its massive fins to move along smoothly. It could move pretty fast once it got going. Heidi motioned to their goggles, speaking through the com system.

"There's a switch on top of your goggles to turn on SWIR, it stands for Short Wave Infra Red. That will enable you to see through the clouds, The animals naturally use it."

Nadia fumbled with her goggles, her fingers located a small switch on the top right. She flicked it. Everything went black and white, but the clouds were gone. They sped through the air, Perry opening his mouth every once in awhile to take on water and adjust his altitude. Nadia looked over at Brenley who grinned back, his scarf pulled down below his chin. She gave him a laughing thumbs up.

In the distance animals swooped and dove, fur glittering with precipitation. Another sky whale was floating about a mile away, it's shimmery flanks expanded with the gas. The spires of a city slowly came into view, coming off the top of a mountain. Flying animals surrounded it, their flapping wings blinking and flashing in the sun. Heidi looked back at them,

"People generally take whales only when there's four or more people. Or when it's long distances. Otherwise they use Banshees or Harpies. Don't ask why they're named after mythical creatures. I'll explain more once we get to where you're staying." The whale keened and moaned as he opened his mouth, the gills expanding and billowing, like a ship's sails. They ascended and approached the city, making a beeline for a break in the skyscrapers. The buildings were built of what looked like concrete and steel. They were above the cloud cover, sun beating down on their backs. Nadia switched off the SWIR on her goggles.

Next to them a figure swooped in on some sort of flying animal. It had two pairs of wings, the membrane split up along the fingers. Each finger was like a wing unto itself. White fur covered its entire body. It's head was streamlined and fierce, eyes pointing forward, a carnivore. As it turned its long neck and banked up and away, Nadia could see a pair of legs tucked in underneath its lean body. This planet seemed to harbor hexapeds, six limbs instead of Earth's four. Behind a skyscraper a block away, a different animal looked to have one pair of wings and four legs. The whale turned, descending into an opening in one of the skyscrapers. The stroma hissed and opened, letting incremental amounts of hydrogen out. The opening was rather like a garage. Another sky whale was getting saddled inside, its handler cinching up the massive girth. Perry's fins slowed then reversed, rippling in the opposite direction as he maneuvered himself into the landing place.

Heidi disengaged herself from the saddle and jumped to the floor, her coat and scarf flapping in the wind. Nadia crawled off, slipping down its wet flank onto the concrete floor, Brenley following close behind. Heidi led them into a side room overlooking the city. She hitched her goggles to her forehead and pulled the scarf down below her chin. The skin between her goggles and the scarf was red from the cold. She pulled her gloves off, tugging each finger individually.

"The whales are hard to maneuver in the city. We're going to have to take harpies and banshees from here on out. You get to choose which ones you want, and use them for the rest of your stay."

Excitement filled Nadia. While the sky whale was cool, the flying predators looked badass. Heidi picked up a small remote from a table and clicked on a projector. Two images showed up on the wall, a diagram from the top and one from the side of the four legged flyer. Its lean body was long and muscled. Greyhound like. Its head thin and pointed. Chest, large, a bellows. Its wings had four finger phlanges while Nadia had noticed the two legged one had three along with a thumb on top. Heidi motioned to it.

"This is a harpy, they do not all look like this. Akin to dogs on earth, there are many breeds. Some smaller or larger, built for speed or distance or maneuverability. Some have short necks or legs or long necks, bigger wings, you get the idea. The wild species is quite vicious. And there are also many types of wild species, pPack hunters. They prey on anything from other flyers to sky whales." She clicked again and the slide changed to a banshee. It was much larger than the harpy, it's two pairs of wings stretched down to form rudimentary walking tools at the joint. Its back legs were stocky and muscular, presumably to take off. Its neck was longer than the harpies yet broader.

"Banshees are a bit of a jack of all trades. They're fast, but muscular enough to take things down on their own. They'd be like… the big cats on earth, less varieties than the harpies but still quite a few. They are better for larger loads and longer distances than the harpies due to the second pair of wings. The last species would be the sirens. The bears in this analogy. Huge and, again, lone hunters. Not common to find a domesticated one, that's why we're only offering harpies and banshees. I'll show you to them now."

Brenley walked up to Nadia, bending over slightly. "So, what are you thinking? Harpy or Banshee?"

Nadia smirked. "Totally Banshee. I've always wanted to ride some big ass predator."

He nodded. "Same. I think I'll go harpy though. Closest I'm ever gonna get to riding a dragon."

They followed Heidi down a few flights of stairs to a long room full of stables. Harpies and Banshees shifted in their small quarters, their snake-like necks sliding, surveying the three visitors. One of the harpies stretched out, and screeched, harsh and jolting. Nadia peered into one of the stables, a harpy looked back at her. It was a caramel brown with black fur on its back and the tops of its wings. Golden eyes watched her. Looking away, it yawned, exposing double rows of razor teeth. They walked the rows, examining the lithe animals. It took Nadia a while to choose a banshee. It was a dark grey, almost black with lighter grey markings along its stomach and tracing the fine bones of its wings. Heidi walked up to her.

"You want this one? Our company will cover the cost of buying it. They're essentially cars here."

Nadia nodded, "Does he- or she- have a name?"

"It's a he, and no, he does not have a name. Feel free to come up with one yourself."

Brenley walked over, "Hey, I think I found one." He pointed, "Red guy."

Heidi glanced over. "Actually that would be red girl. She has a… strong personality. You still want her?"

Brenley nodded, grinning. "Yeah. Perfect."

Heidi grabbed two halters and handed one to Nadia. "I'll show you how to put this on."

She opened the stall and they walked in, the banshee turned its long neck and shuffled backward. Blinking with massive brown eyes. The tip of its tail twitched and it stood up. Now that they were in the stall it seemed so much bigger. It opened its mouth and made a soft creaking noise then stretched its head out to them. Nadia noticed that it didn't really have any ears to speak of, just two holes that were covered by fluffy fur. She reached out and stroked its head. It was surprisingly soft. Her hand followed its spine, feeling the muscles slide and bunch as it shifted in place. Heidi slipped the halter over its head and tied it deftly, showing Nadia how to do it. They led the massive animal out, its six limbs moving in an unfamiliar walking gait. It walked in a fluid manner, every muscle worked together to project power. Heidi handed the lead off to Nadia and went to help Brenley with his harpy. Nadia looked at its wings. The fingers were folded on top of each other, fan like, the fur rustled as it repositioned its front wings.

It took a couple minutes for Brenley to get the halter on his harpy. She did have a strong personality after all. She was slender with a deep chest, making her look made for speed. Dusky red fur faded to black on her legs and wings.

The saddles that Heidi brought out were unlike anything Nadia had ever seen. They were long, elongated which forced the rider to hunch over, jockey-like. In front, there were armrests that had what looked like joysticks on the end. Heidi slung one over Nadia's banshee, she gestured to the joysticks.

"These correspond to small lumps inside the saddle that move, signaling the animal which way to go. Pull them back to go up push to do down, left and right to bank, squeeze the top to go faster and bottom to go slower. It's all electrical but the wires are insulated so they won't be affected by the fog. These inlet's here…" She pointed to holes that looked like they ran through the length of the saddle, "They have mini turbines in there. Just flying will keep the charge up. You can control the harpies and banshees to a certain extent but they are animals, they won't do something they physically can't, or in the red one's case, don't want to."

Brenley smiled. "I've decided to name her Ceylon. It's a type of tomato." He looked at Nadia's much bigger banshee. "What's his name?"

"Sputnik."

His brows furrowed, "Like that old Russian satellite?"

"Exactly."

Heidi put the saddles and helped cinch them up. She led them to an opening into the sky at the end of the stable. "It's best to just throw you guys in the deep end. It's not like driving a car, as the animals will do everything they can not to crash. After a while you will be able to fly closer to things as they start to trust you to not kill them. So… clamber on."

Nadia looked back and forth between her and Brenley. "Wait. you're not going to help us at all? Just hope we don't die?"

"You won't die. Might be scared though."

Brenley shrugged and put his scarf back up and goggles down. He traced Ceylon's neck and hopped onto her back, leaning over and hooking his knees under the shelf looking structure. His long fingers wrapped around the joystick. Nadia saw muscles in his gloved hands squeeze the sticks. Ceylon lurched forward, then her powerful legs pushed off, the muscles shifting and bunching like snakes. Her wings unfurled grabbing the air, they tucked and she dove, wings folded in as she descended at a 90 degree angle. Brenley yelled,

"HOLY SHIT." A string of curse words trailed from his mouth as Ceylon fell at breakneck speeds. Heidi shouted down.

"Pull up!"

Apparently he heeded her advice as the wings billowed and Ceylon started to rise. She flapped and continued to rise. Nadia watched as her movements went from jerky to smooth as Brenley got more used to controlling her. He let out a whoop and banked sharply, flying parallel to the wall of the building. Heidi looked to Nadia.

"Want to try?"

Nadia's heart thumped in her ears. Her hands felt clammy. "Uhhh... sure." She clambered on top of Sputnik. Her legs fit comfortably into the L shapes. The joysticks felt well formed, and her hands wrapped comfortably around them. Every muscle could be felt in Sputnik's back as he shifted, anxious to go. Nadia hesitantly squeezed the joystick and was thrown back, the formed saddle pushed at the back of her thighs as Sputnik lept forward into the open air. His double wings flared and his head thrust forward. Nadia pulled sharply at the joystick, and Sputnik started to level out. The wind ruffled her scarf, and she watched his fur ripple. Buildings flashed past in her peripheral. She let out a yell of excitement and pulled back as hard as she could, squeezing the top trigger. Sputniks double wings rotated back and he pulled up. The horizon disappeared then reappeared at the top of her vision. Gravity pulled at her hooked in legs and arms as he came out of the loop. Adrenaline filled her whole body as she pushed the joystick sharply to the left. He folded his wings and rolled, the phalanges tucked in on top of each other. She noticed the saddle had two mirrors either side of the neck. In them she could see Heidi crawl onto what looked like a brindled banshee. Her voice came in through the headphones,

"See? You didn't die. You doing alright with Ceylon over there, Professor?"

Brenley's voice sounded slightly out of breath. "Yup. So far no problems."

"Good. Sorry if this is a massive information dump, but it's like trying to teach someone how modern society works. So just follow me, there aren't really any road rules other than 'don't be annoying'. The thing about the sky is that it's 3D, so it's quite a bit easier to have a more free flowing transportation environment. You'll get used to it eventually but for now people will generally avoid you."

She passed them up on her banshee, it's wings buffeting Nadia and Brenley. "Also don't forget these things are predators- they won't attack the sky whales or any of the photosynthesizers, but the whales can get a bit spooked if you fly too close."

Brenley chuckled, "Right. Don't buzz the whales."

"Exactly. Don't buzz the whales."

Nadia glanced at the buildings zooming by, the wind tugged at her scarf, threatening to tear it off. She was glad Heidi had shown her how to fasten it properly. "How fast can these guys go?"

"It depends on the breed. There's a type of banshee that can get up to 300 miles per hour in a dive."

Brenley sounded taken aback, "Holy shit…"

"Generally though they fly at about 70-100 when going in a straight line. We speed test them. Nadia, your's comes out to be around 90 normally, and Brenley, your's is about 80, but more maneuverable. The top speed is 240 for Nadia and 220 for Brenley. Oh yeah, and Brenley, one cool thing about the Harpies is that you can make a pretty much seamless transition from flying to running. Which also means you can, for brief moments, run sideways on the walls of buildings."

"Awesome! How do I do that?"

"Do you want to try it now? It might be a bit advanced for you.."

"I still want to give it a go."

Heidi glanced back at them. "Sure. Just fly in at an angle towards a building, then at the last moment, bank and accelerate while pointing the joysticks towards the wall, which at that point will be down relative to you."

"Right." He took a deep breath and headed towards a building. Nadia and Heidi dropped back, hovering on thermals and watching him. Ceylon flew in at about a 30 degree angle relative to the wall. A split second before the wall came dangerously close, Ceylon halted in midair, her wings flaring and dragging to a stop a couple feet in front of it. Brenley made a pained 'Oooph!' noise as she decelerated in less than a second. She made a 180 degree turn and flew in the other direction.

Brenley coughed over the mic, his breath a bit lost. "Yeah that didn't work."

Heidi chuckled. "Yeah. If you try again, try turning a bit earlier. They can fly for a surprising amount of time sideways."

"Alright I'm going again." He turned her and came in at the same angle. Right as she looked like she was going to come to another jarring stop, she suddenly tilted sideways and stretched her legs out. Her wings folded around Brenley. She took three long rapid leaps along the side of the building before pushing off into the air again. She barrel-rolled off the wall, her wings unfurling and billowing. Brenley laughed.

"Hah! Did it!"

"Good job, that's faster than most people get it."

Nadia grinned from beneath her scarf. "Man, I wish Banshee's could do that."

"Banshee's can't do that but they can hang on cliffs and crawl along them. They're also quite a bit better at hovering on thermals because of their double wings." In front of them the green form of a sky whale floated gently into view from behind a building. It was massive. More than twice the size of Perry. Heidi looked up at it, it's shadow barely touching her Banshee.

"We'll just fly under this guy. Again, don't buzz the whales."

They flew under it slowly, and the temperature dropped a good ten degrees. A couple drops fell from its underside and pattered on Nadia. She glanced up at it, it's gills flared and the lengthwise fins undulated. Heidi glanced side to side.

"Alright this is kind of where everyone lives. Where the actual specimens are kept is on a mountain range about 20 minutes out of the city."

It took them a couple minutes to navigate the maze of buildings. Once in the open air, Nadia squeezed the joysticks and Sputnik sped up, adrenaline filled her body and her breath was whisked out of her mouth. Heidi shouted into the wind over the com.

"Sorry I forgot to mention! When we go this fast it is almost impossible to breathe! Click the red square button on the left side of the headphones!"

Nadia reached up, hesitant to take her hand off the joystick, and pressed the button. A small mechanism unfolded beneath her scarf, covering her nose and mouth along with the microphone. Nadia breathed freely. "How do these things work? There's no gas tank."

"The headphones actually, they have a system of getting outside air into the mask despite the high speeds."

"Huh, cool."

For the rest of the flight to the lab they stayed mostly quiet. Which was a little awkward. But it let them watch the scenery pass beneath them. It really was a beautiful planet. The peaks that they flew by or over had jagged rocks peeking out from under the snow. Along with the sky whales and flying predators there were small floating animals, and tiny ones that would slap into her goggles like bugs on a windshield. Not the most pleasant experience, to be sure, but the wipers soon got rid of them, and the breathtaking views made up for it. Nadia was suddenly very grateful that Brenley chose her for this assignment.


	2. Chapter 2

Twenty minutes crouched in the fetal position with your neck craned back while massive muscles jolted and bunched beneath you proved to feel like hours. Although the experience was breathtaking, Nadia's muscles soon ached to the high heavens. Relief washed through her when she saw the peak they were approaching. It stuck above the clouds, like a white beacon. The sunlight reflected blindingly off the snow but for the moment the sky was clear. A large concrete building was embedded in the side of the mountain while off to the side was a swath of flat ground covered in a few inches of snow, a landing strip of sorts. Heidi flew ahead on her banshee.

"I'll come into land then you follow. You might have to circle back round since it's better to land one at a time."

Nadia nodded before remembering that Heidi couldn't see her. "Okay." She said into the mic. Brenley agreed with her over the comms system. He was slightly behind them. Getting him to the mountain had proved to be a bit like herding cats. Apparently one slightly bizarre professor acted the same way as a large group of felines would. Every time he saw something interesting, which happened often, he would tell them to go on ahead while he went and looked at it a bit. At the moment he was catching up after going and inspecting a large jellyfish-like creature Heidi had labeled an Icarus. Nadia had wanted to follow him since it was a large clear dome floating above the clouds with patterns of small lights running up the sides that looked  _very_  interesting but Heidi was starting to sound the slightest bit exasperated with the professor's antics.

Nadia hung back for a second while Heidi landed her banshee. It looked less fluid than Nadia expected from the almost cat-like animals. As soon as the banshee slowed to a stop Heidi expertly stepped off the saddle and grabbed one of the tied back reins. "Okay they know how to land so just slow down a bit and aim for the strip."

"Right."

She banked to the left and pointed the joysticks down at the snow. Sputnik billowed his wings to slow down and dropped the back half of his body, going almost vertical as his neck craned down. His back feet connected solidly with the ground and he folded his wings, slamming onto his front limbs. It was way more jolting than Nadia thought it would be. He still had momentum so he ran forward a bit before skidding to a stop. It made sense though really, he couldn't just land completely on his back feet, and in order to use his front feet he had to fold his wings. Once folded they wouldn't slow his descent. So the transition from flying to walking was rather bumpy and almost uncoordinated. Sputnik walked a few steps to the side and shook his entire body. His fur fluffed up as Nadia gripped the saddle for fear of being tossed off. Once he was done, she stepped off the saddle and her back cracked along its entire length. She grimaced. Pain clawed through the muscles by her spine and her legs were stiff and unresponsive. Heidi chuckled at her predicament.

"You'll get used to it. It's pretty painful the first time though."

Nadia stretched her neck, popping even more joints. "Why do those saddles bunch you into a ball?"

"The wings really mess up the classic, horse riding position as far as the legs go, they need to be tucked up so they're not in the way. And if you sit up rather than lie along their backs then the winds would tear you off pretty quickly."

Behind them Ceylon came in to land. A much smoother process than the Banshee landing. It was like watching a deer jump, graceful and completely coordinated. Brenley untangled his legs from the supports and practically fell off her. He groaned and stretched his legs, standing a bit unsteadily.

"Good  _christ_ I'm stiff."

Heidi raised her eyebrows. "Wait until tomorrow."

He twisted his back around, stretching the muscles. "That reminds me, when is tomorrow? Like what's the time cycle here?"

"Oh I'm sorry, I forgot, It's 23:26." She grabbed her banshee's halter and started walking. Brenley and Nadia followed, leading their rides.

Ever since people started living on Mars in large populations the way time got measured on an hourly basis changed. It had never been an official memo or anything, people just gradually switched until governments started officially using it. Basically keeping the 12 hour clock would never work. Because a different planet would either have a different number of hours, which would mess up standard times, or an hour on each planet would be a different length. So it changed to a countdown system. Earth was on a twenty four hour countdown. At midnight the countdown would start, at twenty four. Then what used to be one in the morning changed to twenty three. Two was now twenty two. On and on until 11 pm which was now one. Basically it counted down the time in the day by hour. Even though the hours now counted down instead of up the minutes counted the same, 23:55 was 5 minutes from 22:00.

So if a planet had a time cycle of 23:26 then the countdown would start instead at 23:26. Mars was on a 25:20 countdown, making it's days 40 minutes longer than Earth's. Salus was on 24:00 even though it was tidally locked. It had to have some sort of cycle so they just gave it the standard one. People on both Earth and Salus still used the normal 12 hour clock system frequently. It got confusing when they switched back and forth sometimes but people still stuck to the old ways since they had been used for so long. It was almost like using miles and kilometers or celsius and fahrenheit.

Nadia brought out her phone and went to settings, adjusting the cycle from 24 to 23:26. It would be weird actually having day and night now after ages on Salus. She glanced up, "What time is it right now?"

"Uh.." Heidi brought out her own phone. "16:25."

Brenley glanced back at the cloudscape behind them. "That icarus thing, was it full of hydrogen?"

"Water vapor actually. Once you get to the base of the mountains it's so hot that water boils. Not much lives down there. But there are a lot of vents. The icari spread themselves over the vents and then wait to get full of hot water vapor. Then they use it to balloon up through the clouds. That's how they eat, they have almost pitcher-plant like pockets that trap hydroprotists on the way up. Once the vapor cools enough for them to no longer rise they release it and use their bodies to kind of parachute back down. Then they repeat. That's why they're informally named icari, or icarus singularly, they fly up then once they get too high they fall back to the ground."

There was a smile in Brenley's voice as he spun in a circle on his heel. "This planet is so cool!"

"That it is."

They walked toward the wide opening in the building that resembled the stable they had seen on the first peak. A few people milled around, tending to the animals. Heidi talked to one briefly before turning back around. "Here, we can hand the reins off to Jasper." As he led them away Heidi gestured to a door. "This is where you'll be doing your research. We keep most of our specimens here in some form or another. And what we can't keep here due to space restrictions we keep on the surrounding peaks. You two can either stay in the rooms back in the main living area, or here. However here we're a bit tight so you'd have to share what is essentially a two bedroom apartment."

Brenley shrugged, looking at a harpy that ambled past them. "I'm fine with that. Nadia?"

"Uh, yeah."

"Are you sure? I'm messy. Well, you've seen my office."

"No yeah it'll be fine. It's easier than doing that ride every day."

"Hell, tell me about it. I feel like I fell down a cliff."

"Alright, you can stay here then." Heidi said. "Professor, the people you'll be working with are here by the way."

Nadia glanced at him as they walked into the building. "The people you'll be working with?"

"Yeah, I'm not just galavanting around for a year." The room was lit with LED and rather large. Most of the building was carved into the mountain, making it appear almost smaller on the outside. Heidi pulled her scarf off and hitched her goggles to her forehead. They seemed made to be worn just as easily like that. It was a spacious room with low tables scattered around. Probably about twenty people were in it. The doors leading out spoke of a larger building and this seemed like the main convergence point. Nadia moved her own goggles to her forehead, as did Brenley.

"So what  _are_ you doing here? You haven't done something like this before, because then you wouldn't be around for the school year ever."

He took his scarf off and looped it around his neck, copying Heidi. "Well basically I both teach and do research for the university. I heard about this down the line and thought it was super interesting so I managed to cajole them to let me do this for the school year. The catch being next year I have to do 3:3 instead of 2:2 and I had to get a student's project on this planet so I wasn't doing literally zero teaching. Oh and I still have to answer everyone's emails and stuff."

"3:3?"

"3 classes in fall, 3 in spring. Normally I do 2:2 which is pretty average for a research university. You go to a community college and they'll probably teach 4:4."

Heidi wasn't listening to their conversation, she turned back to them and gestured at a door. "I'll go grab your team. You two can stay here for a bit." They nodded and she headed towards it. Brenley looked around before spotting an open table.

"Do you want to sit? I feel like bob the builder ran me over with his entire crew."

Nadia chuckled. "Specific but accurate. Yeah sure."

They sat down near the door to the outside and started pulling their gloves off. Brenley took his pencil out from inside the jacket's pocket and returned it it's normal home in his hair. His eyes were caught up in the movement of the people in the room as he absentmindedly scratched his short beard.

"So what research are you doing here?" Nadia asked.

His eyes snapped to her. "Hm? Oh, you know graphene?"

"The stuff for flexible screens?"

"Yeah. It's layers of carbon, super strong. On a less than millimeter thick sheet you could balance the weight of an elephant on the point of a pencil and it wouldn't break. We know how to make it, but making it in any sort of large quantity, like for flexible technology, is pretty spendy. Turns out the whales here? They have a layer of it in their skin. Like, three inches thick. It's ridiculous."

"They have a three inch thick layer of just carbon in their skin? Wouldn't that be heavy?"

"Given a cubic meter of the stuff weighs about as much as a pair of scissors no."

"How do they make it?"

"That's what I'm researching. If we can figure out how these whales make graphene we could really reduce the cost. So far we know they stop on peaks every once in awhile to ingest basically soil. Like, they're essentially floating plants. Plants get minerals and stuff from the ground. But since they float… they have to instead make mineral pit stops. During these they eat deposits of graphite. And graphite is made up of a ton of layers of graphene. Think of it like shale. It's layered but it's all jumbled up. That's why you can write with a pencil, it's little tiny layers of graphene sliding apart. Because the layers are super strong but they don't stick together well. Somehow these whales make from graphite, these massive sheets of graphene and get the layers to actually stick. And so far, we don't really know how the hell they do this."

Nadia nodded. "So what about me? I thought we'd get stuff telling us what to like… do for the projects. But, we left a month early."

"Pretty much you choose what your project is on. I have to approve it of course but you handily, have access to me, whereas everyone else has to write up a proposal and email it. But you can just tell me what you plan to do, I don't care. As long as it's something evo bio related. Which is fairly broad. So you could… study the hydrosinum. Or why this planet has hexapeds, or pick an animal and follow it's evolution, something like that. Actually I think you should have an email kind of going over it since I sent one out to everyone on the ship."

Nadia pulled her phone out and refreshed her inbox. There was an email from Brenley. "Yup. Got it."

"That should have some stuff." He looked up as Heidi walked back in, trailed by three women and a man. "I better go talk to them. Might be boring, you can just hang here for a bit."

"Alright."

He grabbed his gloves from the table and got to his feet, stumbling slightly. He laughed, he had a very distinctive high rapid laughter, one of those that makes everyone else at least smile. "Christ I feel like an old man."

"I'm surprised you could stand up. I'm fairly sure my joints have calcified."

He shook his head, smiling, "Lord." As he walked away Nadia opened the email and started reading it. It went over basically what he had said with a bit more detail. As she finished up, she put her phone away and relaxed into the chair. A cold wind swirled into the room and Nadia looked at the door. A man walked in wearing a blue headscarf and white goggles. Up until now everyone had black and silver goggles. She wondered why his were white. Or at least she assumed it was a he, it was rather hard to tell with the long coats and scarves. He slid his goggles up and glanced at her with piercing blue eyes.

"Little chilly out there." His voice confirmed he was a man. It was a smooth tenor with a hint of humor.

She smiled, "little bit."

"You new here?"

"Yeah. How could you tell?"

He scooted one of the chairs out and sat in it. "You're the youngest one here by a good ten years."

"Oh. yeah. I'm a student, I'm doing a research project thing. I'm here with my professor." She stuck her thumb at Brenley who was talking to Heidi and the team. The man looked over at the back of Brenley's head, staring for a split second too long. He turned back to Nadia.

"Lucky, that's better than what I got to do in college." He tilted his head, "Sorry I didn't catch your name…?"  
"Nadia. And you are?"

"Feliks. With a KS rather than an X. Apparently my parents thought that would be a good idea."

She chuckled, "At least it's not hard to pronounce."

"True. Never get the right name on my starbucks though."

She smiled, "What are you doing here?"

He tilted his head, "Little of this little of that. I have a bit more of a…" He waved his hand ambiguously, "Managerial position. Which I'm not a huge fan of actually."

"More money in it."

"Less fun though. I mean I like prodding things under microscopes you know?"

Nadia smiled, "I'd like to see you get a sky whale under a microscope."

He chuckled before rolling up his sleeve and glancing at a rather nice looking watch. "Well I should probably get back to work. Unfortunately. See you around Nadia."

"See ya, Feliks with a KS."

His eyes crinkled as he smiled from behind the scarf. They really were  _very_  blue. He started walking toward the door on the far left of the room, tugging the fingers of his gloves off. Nadia got up and went over to Brenley, they seemed to be finished with introductions. He looked as the man closed the door behind him.

"Who was that?"

"No idea. Seemed nice though."

Heidi glanced over. "He's actually kind of running this whole thing. Well not really running it but, I guess he'd be like an investor."

"I thought you were running this…" Nadia said to her.

Heidi smiled. "I'm flattered. But I'm essentially a glorified secretary. We might see Dr. Smith at some point, she's the one running this."

Brenley's research team was fairly small. The three women were named Laurena Collins, Marlene Farber and Diane Stirling. The man was named Matt Stevens. Heidi glanced at a door on the other side of the room.

"Well, I should probably show you around a bit."

As they started the tour, Brenley leaned over slightly to speak quietly to Nadia. "Hey, are you good with names?"

"I'm, alright I guess."

"Okay, you're going to have to tell me these people's names a good twenty times before I remember them."

She smiled. "Yeah okay."

That was always a speech he gave on the first day of class. She was fairly used to it after somehow having a class with him every year except for one. The first time she had him he had placed his hands on his desk and looked up at the class. "Okay. I can't remember names for the life of me. I had a lab partner in college for an entire semester and I never knew his name. He's still 'guy with red hoodie' to me. So I promise you, if I don't remember your name, doesn't mean I hate you. I might eventually know some of your names but don't be surprised if I say 'you there' for a good time. Not that I don't care, I am just honestly shit at names."

On the tour, Heidi showed them the main labs and specimen rooms which held rows upon rows of tanks containing creatures of varying sizes. Nadia desperately wanted to look at them but Heidi seemed to be on a schedule. Brenley was not picking up on this hint so Nadia joined him by a tank and gestured her head towards Heidi.

"I uh, think we have to be somewhere." He glanced at Heidi then back to Nadia.

"Right, thanks."

They continued on before separating at the cafeteria so Nadia and Brenley could get some much needed food. However as soon as they had trays and sat down at a table Brenley suddenly left, mumbling some sort of excuse. He left his food on the table and walked away, saying he'd be back in a bit. Nadia sighed and glanced around the room. There were quite a few people, all in the outer clothes. The room was warmer than outside but still fairly cold, probably to conserve energy and to save time on getting the clothes off and on again. People walked around with their scarves wrapped around their necks and their goggles perched on their foreheads. Nadia sat eating her food alone for a while before a voice dragged her out of her thoughts.

"Excuse me, is anybody sitting here?"

She looked up to see a man standing across the table holding a tray of food. He was overweight and wore it evenly over his limbs and torso. His skin was light brown and his curly hair went down to his jaw, he sported a well groomed short beard and easy smile. He looked to be not quite thirty, younger than most people there. Nadia nodded and scooched her tray back, shoving Brenley's abandoned food to the side.

"No sure go ahead."

He nodded graciously and sat down. "They've got everything figured out here but food. I mean what is this?" He prodded a kind of greyish meat substance.

Nadia smiled, "My theory is that they repurpose the retired whales."

He shuddered. "Is it that hard to ship a Krupin machine up here? I mean c'mon."

She shrugged and took a bite, "Who knows."

"So what are you doing here…? Oh shit, I forgot to introduce myself. I'm James."

She chuckled. "That's fine. So are you James Something or is it a mononym situation. Like, I dunno, Beyoncé."

He grinned. "I wish I was cool enough to have a Beyoncé esq mononym. Sadly I'm James Yousafzai."

She wiped her hands on a napkin and extended one, "Nadia Waters. Sorry, Yous…?"

He smiled. "Yousafzai. My dad is Pakistani. Well, actually my grandparents are Pakistani. He was born in America. So what are you doing here Nadia waters? I mean, no offense but you're kinda young."

"I'm a student. In our final year of our masters at my school we do this yearlong project thing at some sort of research facility. My professor managed to get this set up for me. That's his abandoned food congealing next to you there. We just got here a few hours ago." James glanced at it and Nadia looked at him, "So what are you doing here? You also seem young."

He squinted, "I'm an extraterrestrial zoologist if you can believe it."

She laughed. "I don't know if I can, that's a thing?"

"Yup." He said, "It was new the year I started college. At Caltech. They wanted one up here and, I got the privilege."

"An earthling, I assume."

He nodded. "Lincolnite? Your accent is a bit of a giveaway."

"Yours is as well. But anyways, Extraterrestrial zoology? Is that just studying alien animals?"

"Yeah pretty much. And being able to watch them on a basically empty planet, and to watch how they evolved is kind of an extraterrestrial zoologists dream come true."

She laughed as he smiled, then noticed Brenley approaching out of the corner of her vision. She looked at James,

"Uhp, my professors coming back. Be warned, he's nice but a little weird." She made room for Brenley as he sat down at his now cold food.

"Brenley, this is James Yousafzai. James this is Professor Elias Brenley."

Brenley stuck his hand out and they shook, James smiled,

"Nice to meet you professor."

Brenley spoke around a mouthful of mystery meat, gesturing with his fork. "Just call me Brenley. Everybody else does."

Nadia stared at him. "You aren't even going to heat that up?"

"Nope. I don't really care." He produced a coin from his pocket and rolled it over his left hand's knuckles while controlling the fork with his right. James raised his eyebrows at it.

"That's pretty cool."

Nadia shook her head, "That's nothing. Do the pencil thing."

Brenley set the coin on the table with a clack and took the pencil out of his hair, twirling it around his fingers. It was almost fluid the way that it effortlessly spun around. James grinned,

"That's awesome."

Brenley shrugged and stuck it back in his bun, picking up the coin again and rolling it. "So what are you doing here?"

"I'm an extraterrestrial zoologist."

He nodded, "Caltech right?"

"Yeah, I'm surprised you know about it."

"I remember when they announced it would be a thing, thought it was interesting."

"How long have you been a professor?"

Brenley smiled, "Just got my Tenure, so this is my seventh year."

"You're tenured? That's impressive man!" He frowned, "Where have I heard your name before?"

"Silicone based life forms and the transcription of biological information. Or Feynmanium."

"You wrote that? Silicone life forms?"

"Helped to."

"I did basically my entire thesis based around that! It is like my favorite peer reviewed paper."

Nadia chuckled, "You have a favorite peer reviewed paper?"

"It was the first study of non carbon based life forms! Alternative coding to DNA! That stuff was groundbreaking!"

Brenley picked at his food. "I mean it was about time someone wrote about it. We've made huge efforts on carbon based life and so far not much on silica."

"I remember I read that when I was a freshman. Got about as far as the abstract. Then finally got through the entire thing senior year." Nadia said.

Brenley frowned. "Why did you read it freshman year?"

She gave him a sheepish look. "May or may not have googled you. Along with other professors I had."

"And you still didn't know my first name until like, this morning." He smiled, "That's impressive."

"Well googling 'Professor Brenley Rutherford' worked fine."

"You two are from Rutherford?" James asked. Brenley nodded. "So what subject do you.. I assume phd? And Nadia, you said you were getting your masters?"

Nadia went first as Brenley looked engrossed in his thoughts while staring blankly at his food. "Evolutionary Biology. So a planet that has the steps of it's life forms' evolutions? Pretty much perfect for a project."

"Huh, cool." He shifted his attention to Brenley, pausing as he watched the professor inspect the coin he had. James seemed to be about to speak when Brenley answered. Not looking up.

"Chemical engineering and molecular biology."

"Oh, as like a double major…?"

"PHD in both." James gaped but Brenley didn't even notice. He was still looking at the coin. "Brindley offered a dual PHD program so I did that."

"I mean, not to be forward, but you seem young to be a professor with two PHDs."

Brenley glanced up at him. "I'm thirty-six."

"But if you've been teaching for seven years… that means you started teaching at twenty-nine!"

"That is indeed how math works." Brenley said with a lopsided grin. "Though I didn't actually start teaching until I was thirty. I just did research."

James laughed, surprised at the slightly snarky response. "Seriously though, that's cool."

Brenley shrugged, "I guess." He glanced to the side, "Shit. I forgot to do something. I'll be back." He abruptly pushed his tray back to where it was before and stood up. He shoved the coin in his pocket and pulled the pencil out, spinning it as he walked. James watched him leave,

"He's not at all like the professors I had."

Nadia chuckled, "Better or worse?"

"Better! Are you kidding me that guy is awesome!"

"You haven't been on the receiving end of his rather… blunt honesty."

For around fifteen minutes, her and James kept talking. She was glad she at least found a friendly face on this entire planet full of strangers.

Eventually Brenley returned, he walked back and stood next to her. "Right, I'll be in the specimen room. When you're done flirting then come over."

Nadia blushed furiously. She could tell she was red, probably down to her neck. She stuttered out a response, "Yeah, ok."

He nodded and walked away, James grinned before breaking out into laughter. She looked up at him, smiling behind her blush. "I'm sorry about him. I told you he's a bit weird."

He chuckled. "No boundaries huh?"

"Yeah not really."

"Well, I shouldn't keep you if you have to go…"

"I mean he did say when I'm done."

James smiled, "Okay then."

"So. Extraterrestrial Zoology. What do you do here?"

"Dumb Kids Playing Catch On Freeways Get Squashed."

"Okay. So, that sentence makes sense out of context, if a bit creepy. And honestly I don't know what context makes it… less so."

He grinned, "It's an acronym. Domain Kingdom Phylum Class Order Family Genus Species."

"Ohhh. Where on earth did you learn that one? I had Dear King Phillip Come Over For Good Soup."

James glanced to the side, "Mine's better."

"So what about taxonomic ranks?"

"Basically since we got millions of new species in the space of around ten years, we haven't had a bunch of old pretentious scientists naming them over time. So me and about 30 others are systematically sorting through every. Single. Damn. Animal. And naming them. Me and a woman who got a degree in latin are heading that whole thing up."

"30 people for an entire planet of animals?"

"Almost correct. An entire planet of animals and the entire history of this planet's animals."

"30 people."

"Yup. 30 people. It's just that, naming and sorting them isn't really the highest priority. People here are mainly just researching how these life forms work and how they evolved that way. But in order for them to actually, write things down- because that's the only thing that makes us scientists, and not crazy people doing sinful things- they have to be named. Can't quite use 'John Doe' on a floating prokaryote. So while we work through them in a more systematic way, we also do house calls. For whoever is doing research and needs a name."

"How does one name something?"

"Well, we have to follow the International Code of Zoological Nomenclature. Which is a freaking  _tome._ " He got a collapsible tablet out of his pocket and slid it open, tapping through it for a second. "Here." He slid it to her.

She scrolled through what seemed like miles of rules and regulations. "Holy shit…"

"Yeah. Although most of that stuff is rules on who gets to name it and what happens when two people name it or when people disagree on if a certain group of animals counts as one or two species. So what are you doing here? I mean I know you're doing a project but what on?"

"I think I'm going to pick a specific animal and kind of.. follow its evolution."

"Have you decided on the animal yet?"

"No but I was thinking of doing one that no one's done research on before. Ya know, might as well be the first to do  _something_ even if it's only researching an alien slug or whatever."

"Right, well then it will need to be named at some point, yeah?"

"Yeah."

He shrugged slightly, "I mean, I can give you my number for when you need your species named." He smiled, "Ya know, for taxonomic reasons."

She nodded, the corner of her mouth quirked up. "Sure, for taxonomic reasons." She opened up her phone and copied the number in that he told her. She glanced at the door, "Well I think I better be going."

"Right, see you around."

She cleaned her tray of food up, and assuming Brenley was done, cleaned his as well. She found him in the specimen room, inspecting a tank filled with floating creatures that honestly just looked like condoms with gas in them. They were translucent and oblong with slightly pointier 'heads' though it was hard to tell if that was the actual head or just a feature of some sort.

He straightened as she approached, pointing at the floating things. "These look like condoms."

"I was just thinking that." They watched them gently bump into each other for a second. After almost a minute of watching the silly little things wander around their tank he leaned back and gestured down the row of tanks. "These are most of the animals on the planet apparently. Nothing too big and nothing too small but like, the medium ones. And only the current ones. There are different buildings for the different eras of the planet. Have you thought anymore about what you want to do?"

"I like the idea of following the evolution of one animal."

He bobbed his head, still staring at the condom creatures. "Well, why don't you see if anything catches your eyes." He glanced down the row. "This section seems to harbor whatever these latex friends are called."

She snorted. " _Latex friends._ "

He smiled then turned to look down the row of tanks. "Should we go look at the others?"

"Yeah, sure." They started walking slowly through the room. It was a truly massive room. The temperature was even lower in here and she wrapped her scarf around her neck. There were hundreds upon hundreds of tanks. Each had four animals, probably two of each gender. Or at least she assumed these animals had a gender binary. They obviously weren't asexual and a binary was simpler than a trinary. She idly wondered how they cleaned this massive amount of tanks, some of which were as big as entire rooms. Probably a self-cleaning system. Though that would be expensive for this many. Than again, apparently this planet had been bought so there was no shortage of money. The room had high ceilings and was the biggest single room she had ever been in. Brenley noticed her look of amazement at the size of the place.

"Not gonna get much bigger than this other than some like, Boeing factories."

She nodded, agreeing with him. "Are we in the mountain?"

"I think so…"

"How on earth did they carve all this out? It's huge!"

He shrugged. "A lot of supports?"

"Yeah no kidding."

They wandered around for a good amount of time before Nadia finally decided on at least a very broad range of animals to choose from. They were kind of lizard-like and varied about as much as earth lizards. Which was a lot. Some of them had names but about half didn't. One species drew her to their tank. The thing that separated Nephelai lizard-looking things from earth lizards was mainly the skin, other than the six legs. It looked like velvet. As if they had a slight fuzz to them but it was hard to tell if it was short fur or just texture without touching them. The ones she was looking at were about four inches long and had small lumpy ridges along their backs and loose skin that wrinkled between their limbs. Each foot had skinny, clawed toes that splayed out over a wide area. Their heads were rounder than lizards with big green eyes taking up most of their skull and she watched them slide vertical eyelids over them. For the most part they were a dusty purple-ish brown. But their undersides were grey and black splotchy patterns covered their backs. She grinned at them, crouching next to the tank. It housed 4 from what she could see.

" _Hey guys._ " She glanced at Brenley who was bent at the waist, inspecting a tank a few feet away. "Brenley, look at these."

He walked over and crouched next to her. "Ooh they're cool. And kinda cute."

"I know right? I like 'em." She took her gloves off before reaching up and prying at the mesh lid of the tank. Brenley stared at her.

"Are you putting your hand in there?"

"Yeah, why not."

"Uh. They could be poisonous. Or venomous. Or just have a nasty bite. Or be really fast and just… escape."

She managed to get the lid open and gave him a frank look. "What's on your forearm." She was referring to a blotch on his skin about three inches long she knew he had.

"Acid burn." He said sheepishly.

"And you're telling me to be careful."

"Chemistry is reliable. The reason this isn't bigger is that I was able to treat it. Because I knew what it was. That thing doesn't even have earth biology. Who knows how much it could fuck up your immune system."

She paused with her hand resting on the rim. "If their cells could really screw things up, then the other animals would affect stuff. And they don't. Also look, all the dangerous ones have little stickers."

"These don't even have a name yet."

"Well. I signed the insurance forms." She reached in and held her fingers out for the lizard-things to inspect them. Brenley sighed deeply. The lizards touched her fingers lightly with their heads. She jerked back a bit when one started forward but it just seemed to be curious. Small claws pricked into her skin as one hesitantly climbed onto her hand. She laughed,

"He tickles!"

Brenley shook his head and stood up, leaning against the wall. "Of course you're petting the mystery lizards."

Heidi walked around the corner. "They're called sobeks."

Nadia froze with her hand in the tank. "Uh, sorry." She didn't even know Heidi was in the room before.

"It's fine," Heidi said. "Sobeks are generally harmless. But I wouldn't normally recommend sticking your hand in the tanks."

Brenley nodded. "Told you."

"So is it just this particular species that are called sobeks?"

"No, it's like lizards on earth. It's a broad term. They obviously look like lizards, but we can't call them lizards."

Brenley raised his eyebrows. "So you call them crocodile headed gods?"

"Honestly using mythical creatures is easier for at least broad names." She walked over to the tank and stuck her hand in, cupping one of the sobeks up. It clung to her skin, turning around and exploring her palm. "This particular breed hasn't been studied hardly at all. So feel free to look into them. I'll uh, call someone in to help name them."

"Actually I have a contact for James Yousefzai."

"Oh, okay. Well I'll leave you here then. James can help you with getting them set up and all in the lab. Here, professor, want this?" She held the sobek out to him.

"Uh, sure." He accepted the tiny animal and it started crawling around his hands. He smiled, stroking it's back. "Hey buddy." Brenley slipped it into his shirt pocket and it made a slight lump there. It didn't take long for James to join them after she texted him, meanwhile Heidi excused herself to go do some more stuff, Nadia got the feeling that while Heidi's job title may be a glorified secretary, she actually did a lot more. She looked up as James walked towards them.

"Hey."

He smiled, "Hey. I hear you need some extraterrestrial zoological taxonomy."

"Yeah. We also need to just get these guys over to the lab."

"Okay well let's do that first." He walked over to the tank and peered in. "Huh. There's only three. Should be four."

"I have one here." Brenley said, pointing to the tiny lump in his shirt pocket.

"Oh." James chuckled, "Okay. Well we should leave two of them here and you can take the other two." He scooped one of them out of the cage and held it to Brenley. "Here Professor. Got another pocket?"

"Yeah." Brenley took it and put it into one of his inside jacket pockets.

"There's some tanks near the door, we can grab one on the way out." As they started walking he glanced at the slight dimple in Brenley's shirt pocket. "So these guys obviously don't fly. They don't have wings. But they do glide. Here, I'll show you." He held his hand out to Brenley who carefully peeled the sobek from inside his shirt and presented it to him. James took it in his hand. "And… up ya go!" He lightly tossed the sobek into the air. As soon as it reached its vertex the wrinkled skin between its legs stretched out. Bizarrely the stretched skin extended in a D shape past the feet, making it look like a butterfly from the top. The sobek glided fairly fast towards the opposite wall before it folded it's excess skin again and stuck to the wall with a small thump.

Brenley grinned, "I like them."

"Yeah. They live on the backs of whales primarily and use that to transfer whales if the population gets too big or food runs out."

Nadia frowned as they walked over and Brenley put it back in his pocket. "How does the skin go past the legs? Like what's supporting it?"

James gave an almost sheepish look. "Increased blood flow to the area."

It took her and Brenley a second before she raised her eyebrows and his mouth spread into a grin. "You're kidding."

"Unfortunately no."

"You're telling me that's a flying boner lizard?!"

James laughed at Brenleys upfront way of saying it. "Yep. Basically."

Nadia shook her head. "Putting  _that_ aside, why don't they freeze? I mean, it's really cold out there and they just increased access to their blood."

"Well they don't have hemoglobin in their blood. These animals are very similar to earths when you think about it. But they instead use a form of antifreeze. So they're fine in the cold. Though they do like the warmth which is why that one is having a very nice time in your pocket." He nodded at Brenleys passenger. "I think there's a few earth animals like that." He plucked the other Sobek off the wall.

"Ice fish." Brenley said.

"Yes actually." He handed over the sobek and the professor returned it to his pocket.

"How do you know all this stuff?" Nadia asked him.

"I watch a lot of documentaries."

James helped them get a small tank so that Nadia could continue to study them in the lab, the same lab as Brenley's research team but a different room. The sobeks turned out to be very friendly, they were a male and a female and they named them Zorro and Leia. This was because Zorro had a Z shaped pattern on his back and Leia had two marks that looked like earmuffs. Zorro became weirdly attached to Brenley almost instantly and complained whenever he put him down. So the professor contented to have the tiny animal ride around in his jacket. Their genus turned out to be  _Labilacerta_  which James claimed to mean 'glide lizard', but multiple online translators said such things as 'slip skink' and 'flow to alligator'.

As far as their species name, James offered to name them after Nadia. But the name Nadia had probably already been used, and Waterae sounded weird. So they ended up using Brenley's name as it was fairly unique and added -orum to the end to signify it was named after multiple people, resulting in  _Labilacerta brenlorum._

By the time that had been all set up, it was getting late. Nadia was not used to the light actually getting dimmer in the evening. Heidi showed them to their rooms where, like promised, the bags had been delivered. The apartment thing they had to share was fairly small but not tiny. It was also heated quite a bit more than the rest of the building so they didn't have to wear their outer gear. Brenley had a salad he brought from the cafeteria and immediately collapsed onto the couch and began eating it. Nadia sat down on the large cushioned chair next to the couch and stared at the TV mounted on the wall across them.

"I wonder what channels we get in 'international waters'. Mind if I check?"

"Go ahead."

She grabbed the remote and turned it on. It was a news channel and the presenter was talking over some footage of a building burning in some large city.

"The attackers claimed to be from GIRA although as of yet the organization has not claimed responsibility."

Nadia grimaced. " _Another_ terrorist attack? Those are becoming way too common."

Brenley nodded, gesturing with his fork. "Change the channel. I don't want to end my day thinking about nazi assholes."

She changed it, to what appeared to be a documentary. As a commercial break ended it was revealed to be a BBC film called 'gamechangers' about modern scientists who made an impact with their discoveries. It finished up with a section on Bancroft, who figured out how gravity was quantized. He was pretty old, in his mid eighties. His voice quavered slightly as he explained the last bit of his theories. Brenley pointed at him with his fork.

"Now  _there's_ a gamechanger. He pretty much confirmed that our theories on the universe are correct. If gravity wasn't quantized it would all fall to shit. For the longest time we thought it was but couldn't confirm it." He stopped talking and stared, enraptured, at the rest of the section on the scientist. The show then moved onto Krupin.

Brenley stared at the screen, his fork lay abandoned in his plate. It was definitely the kind of thing he'd be interested in, a program on scientists, so she left it on. It cut to the presenter walking with Krupin down a long lab room, passing by machines. They stopped by one and started talking about it, explaining its function. Most scientists, even the influential ones, were fairly low profile. Some few held talks frequently and booked interviews and did tv programs. These were kind of the spokespeople of science to the world. And Krupin was one of them. Mainly because he was personable. A trait that often the most brilliant minds did not necessarily posses, whether artists or scientists or entrepreneurs. He was young to have the fame that he did and was rather classically handsome with brilliant blue eyes and blonde hair. Though at this point it was at least half grey. Brenley slowly started eating again as Krupin explained how the blood synthesizer worked.

Nadia gestured at the screen. "That stuffs crazy. I mean printing cells? It's been a thing for a while but it still blows me away sometimes."

He didn't respond, just bobbed his head ever so slightly. The program continued for about an hour, ending on Beyersdorf. He was a slightly awkward skinny man in his fifties with a very strong german accent and the classic messy 'scientist hair'. While he seemed nice he was much less charming than Krupin. Nadia was surprised when the program briefly mentioned some papers published by Buchanan, one of the physics professors at Rutherford. Nadia glanced at Brenley, who had finished his salad and was working on a bowl of pistachios.

"You know her right? Buchanan?"

"Yup. We're friends."

"How? She's notoriously, well, a hardass."

He chuckled. "Yeah. I dunno, I asked if I could sit in on some of her classes because I really like physics and…" he trailed off and shrugged. "I guess she likes me." He set his bowl of pistachios down and got up. "I'm gonna get a shower then go to bed. Long day."

"Yeah no kidding."

He grabbed his bags and hauled them off to one of the rooms. Nadia grabbed her laptop and opened it up, calling Sky over skype. Even though it was about 1AM at Roosevelt, the American colony on Salus, she knew she'd be awake.

Sky's face blinked onto screen and Nadia grinned. "Hey man!"

"Hey, how's your mystery planet?"

"Uh, fucking awesome? Theres like these flying animals that we can  _ride_ and there's floating whales and lizards that glide and it's all just so fucking cool!"

Sky laughed at her excited, rapid speech. "Are you on an episode of Star Trek?"

"I might as well be! I'll send you pictures of the animals, they're awesome." From behind her, Nadia heard Brenley's voice.

"Oh, hey Sky."

Sky looked to him. "Hello Brenley. I like your shirt."

He plucked at his t-shirt, he had changed into it from the button up he had started the day in. It had the faces of Tesla and Edison printed over the logo for AC DC. He grinned. "Yeah. I think it really shows how much of a fucking loser nerd I am."

"Aren't we all."

Brenley gave a grudging nod. "Well, I'm off to get a shower, see you later Sky." He walked off to the bathroom, pulling the tie out of his hair. Sky went on a bit of a face journey as she squinted and glanced to the side before raising her eyebrows. Nadia tilted her head,

"They don't have enough room so we've essentially got a two bedroom apartment here."

"Ah. It's good I'm the first to learn of this."

"Why?" Nadia suddenly realised and rolled her eyes. "Aww fuck off.  _Really?_ "

"You do know people around campus, kinda assume…"

"Yeah yeah I know. It's, annoying as fuck."

"I mean, you did trade hats at graduation."

"Yeah but-"

"Don't you have his Hulu password?"

"Yes-"

"And Netflix? And didn't you watch that Dune remake with him in his classroom?"

"Okay but that was the Dune remake! And he managed to pirate it and he has a bigass projector in his classroom so it was like a private movie theater. Man I didn't even know his first name until last week."

"Really? You two are like, best buds. And you didn't even know his first name?"

"Have you heard anyone else refer to him as anything other than Brenley?"

"I guess. Still though."

"So what's going on there?"

"Nothing much. Class, ya know. Just a normal day really. Oh, I wasted money!"

"On what?"

"This." She reached over and grabbed a shirt from offscreen, holding it up in front of the camera. It was a tie-dye crop top with a picture of shrek with the caption SHREKT underneath it.

Nadia snorted."What is that? That is the  _worst_ thing I've ever seen!"

"I know right?! I'm gonna wear it at my wedding and funeral."

"And every day in between."

"Obviously."

They continued talking for a few minutes before Nadia decided to go to bed, the first night of many on the frigid planet.

The first two weeks went pretty smoothly, considering. They soon adjusted to the presence of a day and night cycle and each time they rode the banshees and harpies they got more and more used to the strain put on their muscles. Nadia's short hair was easy enough to deal with considering the scarves and goggles but Brenley's proved difficult, even in a bun. So he took to braiding it into two kind of adorable looking pigtails. He gave her a bit of a 'done with your shit' look when she called him Pippi Longstocking. He'd wear it that way most of the day and just take it out in the evening. That was when they saw each other the most, other than sometimes at lunch. He tended to stay in his part of the lab and half the time he did his weird eating food at random points in the day and completely skip the cafeteria. This made Nadia very grateful that she had met James.

He did most of his work naming things on the computer so they ended up hanging out in the lab room she had, passing the time talking about random stuff while they did the menial parts of their work. She also met the woman he was heading up the naming committee with, the latin major. She was a very nice chinese american woman in her early to mid thirties named Mae Liao. So a good amount of the time, the three of them would work together.

Nadia set up a small tank for Zorro and Leia in the apartment so she could continue to study them and their behaviors outside of the lab. Although the behavior studies soon turned out to be useless as Nadia and Brenley grew too attached to the little lizards and started treating them more like pets. Nadia also discovered that Brenley was perhaps  _the_ most bizarre person to share a living space with. He had numerous quirks that didn't really affect her much but they were interesting to witness. As soon as either of them turned one desk lamp on in the dark living room he'd get up and turn all of the lights on. Every one. At first she thought he did it passive aggressively but after he did it a couple times while completely engrossed in his phone or a paper, she decided it was just a thing he did. Also she wasn't sure if he was even capable of passive aggressiveness. So she started doing it as well so he didn't have to get up.

He was very peculiar about leaving things in the most random places. His laptop migrated from the kitchen counter to the couch to a bookshelf to on the floor in front of the tv to on top of the fridge. But he somehow kept it all in his head, knowing precisely where every one of his belongings was at any point. He ate at random points throughout the day, usually salad, then would abandon it, sometimes for more than a day, before picking it up again and finishing it. He also slept at random points. As a college student she had gotten used to going to sleep at around 2 AM. She was surprised to find he did it was well. But the fact that they had to get up early in the morning made them both tired during the day. Nadia cured this by taking a 2 hour nap in the afternoon. Brenley would just randomly fall asleep when he wasn't doing anything. On the couch usually. At one point she had found him fast asleep on one of the stools by the counter. His head propped on his hand. She had to skirt around him to get to the kitchen. He would talk in his sleep every once in awhile. The first few times he talked in his sleep she had been surprised and thought he was addressing her. Then it just became another of his quirks she got used to, although it was amusing when he sleep talked in french, about a quarter of the time.

While living with him was often weird, it was also fairly illuminating for his general personality and life outside of teaching. She had gotten used to his hair always being tied back but it turned out that he mainly did that during the workday. A few hours after coming back to the rooms he'd eventually take the tie out. He would fiddle distractedly at his hair, twining strands through his fingers or braiding small portions of it. Whatever semblance of formality he had in public went out the window when not in public. His slacks changed to faded jeans or sweatpants and his collared shirts changed to old band t-shirts. This led her to discover he had a tattoo of the pulsar map on his shoulder and a diagram of an electromagnetic wave on his upper arm, further confirming his nerdiness.

He did some things surprisingly similar to her, like multitasking. He almost never did just one thing. At one point she discovered him working on programming, a skill she did not know he possessed, while watching an episode of Bob Ross on mute. Or he'd work while listening to music whenever the work wasn't too mentally tasking. Every genre imaginable pretty much. At one point 'Bad Moon Rising', the next some sort of rap song inexplicably in Russian, then classical, then modern rock. He had a bit of an affinity for music from the eighties. When 'Africa' by Toto came up on his phone which she was fairly sure had over 100 gigs of music, he had grinned and put it over the speakers, saying "This is my favorite song!" turning it up and starting to sing along. He was surprisingly good and she laughed when he got up and started dancing. During the jaunty marimba of the chorus he got on his tiptoes and rapidly hop-stepped forward to the beat.

So the first two weeks went well. But that was soon to change.


	3. Chapter 3

Nadia and James sat in the lab room, Nadia was set up at one of the microscopes, looking at cells from the different evolutions of the sobeks. James was on his computer, doing some population calculations for the distribution of animals on different peaks. It had been 16 days since they arrived on Nephelai. Brenley was in the other room with his team, they heard his voice come slightly muffled from behind the door.

"Alrighty, I'm turning the centrifuge on." There was a slight whirring noise. "Ha! Get wrecked son!"

James snorted and turned to Nadia. "Man I'm not even in school and I want him to teach me."

She grinned. "I think you have a crush on my professor."

"Honestly yeah. I would willingly live with the man until the day I die."

"Yeah you don't want to do that. He put Petri dishes in the shower."

"Really?"

"Yup. Apparently testing the effects of heat and humidity."

"Oh my god. That is amazing!" He grinned. "Can I like, marry him? Honestly?"

Nadia laughed, "Enjoy trying that with SCOTUS being fucking assholes."

James shook his head. "Well fuck you too SCOTUS." At that moment Brenley walked in, catching the last bit of his sentence. He barely looked over while he took the pencil out of his hair and started spinning it.

"Fuck you too SCOTUS."

James glanced at him before turning and grinning at Nadia. " _I love him._ " He mouthed. Nadia concealed a chuckle and Brenley leaned up against the counter.

"I assume you two are talking about the sexual health law."

James nodded, "Yeah."

"You do know that it was congress that passed the law right?"

"And the supreme court ruled it constitutional. And hasn't resisted it."

Brenley shook his head, "Yeah they are definitely not off the hook. But people always say 'fuck you too SCOTUS' and never 'fuck you too congress.'"

"How about 'fuck you too republicans'." She said, smiling.

"That works."

Nadia glanced at him, "It's not illegal in France right?"

He snorted. "Hell no. That would never fly. Everyone in France is gay."

"Ah, see I didn't know that the entire country of France is gay."

Brenley smiled. "Actually, it's kinda true. When the health law went into place, a lot of gay people moved to Europe. Apparently criminalizing one's identity is a bit of a deterrent. Who knew. How'd you guys get talking about this anyways?"

"I said I wanted to marry you." James said, maintaining a completely serious face before breaking out into a smile. Nadia let out a shocked laugh at his honesty and Brenley raised his eyebrows.

" _Ambitious._  You're not getting any of this chocolate without buying me dinner first. And remember, I'm French. That means wine and dine."

James laughed. "I'll see what I can do."

The door opened and Laurena poked her head in. "Brenley? Those cultures are finished."

He stood up off the counter. "Yup. Be right there." As he started towards the door he turned and walked backwards, pointing at James. "I'm gonna hold you to that." With that he spun around and followed Laurena. "Anything show up?" his voice became muffled as they left. James stared at Nadia.

"Was he serious?"

"I honestly can't tell."

"That guy is a tenured  _professor._  Like, what?! Did you hear what he said?!"

"I know. I've had classes with him. A lot of them. He's a professor because he's smart as hell. Like did I tell you about feynmanium?"

"No?"

"Well it's been this big chemistry problem for ages. Basically past a certain element, labeled Feynmanium, atoms get too big that their valence electrons would have to go faster than light to keep up. He… figured it out. In the space of about four hours. In class."

"Really?"

"Yeah!"

"So, how can it exist?"

"Apparently the orbitals do something really weird and like, invert or something. I mean it was just a theory, but it's I think the first theory presented on it that would actually work. You could ask him about it because I only kind of know how it works. I'm alright with chemistry but it just went right over my head. Though be warned that once he gets talking about something he's interested in he literally won't stop until you've aged seven years. There's some jokes around school about becoming middle aged while he talks to you."

There was a small commotion in the other room and Nadia frowned. "Lord. what is  _going on_ in there?" Almost before she had finished, the door slammed open and Brenley charged in.

"HOLY FUCK WATERS." he ran over to where they were sitting and was about to smash a petri dish down before realizing it was made of glass and placing it delicately on the table in an almost comical way.

Nadia grinned at his excitement. "What are we looking at?"

" _Graphene!_ " he pointed at a tiny blob of what Nadia assumed was cells. Next to it, there was another blob, much darker than the first. "We got the tissue cells to produce graphene by giving them graphite and putting them in nutritional broth! I mean, and some other stuff but that's the basics." He stuck a tiny metal stick the size of a syringe into the petri dish and scooped out the graphene. It hung from the tip as an absurdly small drip. He squinted at it. "Marvel at my accomplishments."

Nadia scooted forward in her chair. "That's graphene?"

His face lit up. "Hell yeah it is! This stuff is pretty hard to make with the methods we've been using. Well, it's easy but you don't make much of it." He wiggled the metal rod, making the blob of graphene swing slightly. "This,  _this,_ could make it a whole lot easier. And I think, if we mess around a bit more, we could get the cells to make graphene into shapes. Like I dunno, for… clothes or something."

James grinned. "Wow. I mean, good job. Would I be right in saying this is pretty revolutionary?"

"Well, it's not small."

"Lord." Nadia shook her head. "A couple weeks in and you find a way to produce graphene."

"Wasn't just me. It was my team."

Apparently Laurena heard as she poked her head in. "He's the one who figured out how to get the cells to absorb the graphite though. We've been trying to get this to work for, months." The other members followed her into the room, agreeing. Diane gestured at the petri dish he held.

"We should show that to Heidi. It's been a pretty large part of the interest in this planet."

Brenley nodded, dropping the graphene back into the dish. "I'll take it over, you guys can continue with the other cultures." He walked over and grabbed a sample carrier, almost like a test tube with a cap, and loaded the cells and graphene into it. "You know where she is?"

"Last I heard, which wasn't long ago, she was on 231."

Nadia tilted her head. "231? That's the peak with the animals from the hydro period right?"

"Yup."

She turned to Brenley. "Mind if I come with? I need some samples from that period."

"Sure. James? Want to come too?"

He shook his head. "I have about seven thousand things to do here. Thanks though." Brenley nodded and stuck the sample carrier in his jacket. As he did, James grumbled under his breath. "Ew. Population growth." He started writing out an equation. Nadia stuck her thumb at Brenley.

"Tell him the numbers."

James frowned slightly but complied. "32.4 million original, rate of 1.23, 20 years...? It's just pert."

Brenley responded as he was wrapping his scarf around his head. "41.4 million."

"Did you just do that in your head?"

"Yup."

"How?"

"Just a thing I can do." He finished up putting the scarf on and walked over to James, scootching his lab notebook over. He scanned the list of numbers and grabbed a pencil, filling in either the population, time, or rate, depending on which data points James already had. He went through the list fast, his handwriting was messy and quick. As soon as he got the last one he set the pencil down and slid the book back to James who was staring at him wide eyed. "There you go."

Nadia smiled at his befuddlement, wrapping her own scarf. "Twenty bucks he gets none of those wrong."

James shook his head. "Like hell I'm betting against him."

Brenley grinned from under his scarf and fist bumped him. He turned, "Alright. C'mon Waters."

She followed him to the launching area for the Banshees and Harpies. It was a well known procedure for them now, calling their rides to them with the bracelets that connected to their halters, taking off the collars that kept them inside the invisible fence of the 'paddock' and saddling them up. As Brenley was tightening Ceylon's saddle, she turned her head and nipped at him. He stuck his elbow out just in time so her face collided with the bone instead of reaching the vulnerable part of his arm.

"Ah! Stop that now." If an animal could sulk, she did. He grinned and rubbed his hand up her nose playfully. "You are way too saucy Ceylon."

The massive animals turned out to have very distinct personalities. Sputnik was pretty excitable and loved to play in the air, doing barrel rolls and dives. Ceylon was, like Brenley said, saucy. She didn't really like to take orders but Brenley seemed to like the challenge. And for some reason, she seemed to like him as well. While she could be plain nasty to other people, with him the worst she would do was playfully push or bite lightly at him, not enough to break even bare skin, despite the sharp teeth. Their teeth were sharper than most predators as they hinged out, like snakes, and didn't use them to chew, only to bite and hold.

They mounted and took off. 231 wasn't far from the peak they did most of their work on, 226. As they flew, Nadia adjusted her seat in the saddle and spoke into the mic. "Voice command: Call user 1057." After a second, Brenley responded.

"Hey."

"Pod up on the right there."

There was a pause. "Oh yeah. Wanna take a detour?"

"Hell yeah."

He chuckled and banked, Ceylon's wing membrane fluttered under the speed. Nadia took her hand off the joystick briefly to rub Sputniks neck. "Lets see some whales buddy."

The pod had around 15 adult whales, assumedly all females, the males traveled alone. One of the females, the biggest, was surrounded by a swarm of babies. The sky whale babies looked nothing like the majestic adults. These were young, maybe only a few weeks old, and resembled derpy basketballs. The surface area to volume ratios mean that they had to be very round and their fins had to be tiny to keep them afloat. Nadia flew above the pod, slowing Sputnik down enough to glide with the whales. They shifted nervously at the predator above them.

Most animals on Nephelai had two sets of 'eyes'. One normal set and one set of photosensitive spots on the tops of their heads. These were used to see vague shapes above them. The whales didn't seem to be too worried though, a pod wasn't likely to be attacked by a single banshee. Even so, the babies moved to the middle of the pod as a safety measure. The pod was going fairly fast, and seeing that the two predators weren't making any moves, relaxed a bit. This left openings for Nadia and Brenley to dive in, flying among the massive creatures. Nadia moved below one of the whales and reached up, running her hand along it's huge ribbed stomach. The whales were going in the vague direction of 231 so they decided to stick with them, enjoying their peaceful movement.

Nadia glanced at a whale who was giving some serious side-eye to Sputnik. "The whales have that graphene over their entire bodies under their skin right?"

"Pretty much."

"But banshees and harpies and stuff hunt them right? Otherwise they wouldn't be scared."

"Yep."

"So… how? If graphene is so strong how do they kill them?"

"I actually asked that exact question a while back. Turns out the Banshees and Harpies and Sirens and some of the smaller predators have evolved this thing in their mouth where when they bite, an electric current is sent out. Like an electric eel but, way stronger. Whales are mostly water and have graphene, which is a superconductor. I think the domesticated predators have that bit deactivated. Otherwise a stray bite would leave you on the ground."

"Holy shit."

"Yeah, no kidding. Takes a while to recharge, and takes a lot of energy. Which is why harpies hunt in packs, and lone hunters, like banshees don't often take on whales unless they're small. Except sirens will take them on 'cause they're massive. Once the whale is down, and they have to take them down when they're making mineral pit stops, they can't puncture the graphene, but there are bits where there isn't graphene. And they can just, peel it off from there."

A low rumbling could be heard in the distance and Nadia craned her head behind them. "What is that?"

"Uhh. No idea." Brenley said, also looking for the source of the noise. "I bet they're building something, that peak's pretty close." He gestured at 229.

"Yeah, I guess. Weirdly loud."

He looked back forward. "These whales are heading a bit off course."

"Alright. Bye guys!" She tilted the joysticks and Sputnik barrel rolled out of the pod, narrowly avoiding the whales. Brenley simply flew out. He glanced at Nadia, laughing slightly.

"Having fun there?"

She grinned. "What? Sput likes having fun. He's a fun-loving raucous boy."

"You're weird."

Nadia laughed. "Shouldn't be talking."

Eventually they got to 231, slowing down and landing. They were going to be using their mounts again soon so they left the saddles on and let them out into another of the big, invisible fenced paddocks. Brenley checked his sample, making sure it hadn't been damaged by the journey in his pocket.

Heidi wasn't hard to find, she was in the main room of the building, talking to some people holding tablets, she was easy to spot in her dull green jacket. Brenley walked straight up to her.

"Heidi, I have something to show you."

She seemed surprised by the abrupt interruption until she saw who was talking, and was less surprised. "Oh, hello Brenley. Can it wait a second?"

"I mean, it's not gonna go away but it's pretty big." She glanced at the three people she was talking to and he clarified. "Really big."

"Okay." She turned to the others. "I'll be right back, sorry about this." With that, she turned back to Brenley and they walked a few steps away. "What is it?"

He took his sample out of his jacket and presented it to her. "See that black bit? That's graphene."

She frowned. First at it, then at him. "You got the cells to make this?"

He nodded. "The cells in there are the ones that made it."

"Wow." She raised her eyebrows. "This is impressive. Do you think you can make larger samples of it?"

"Yeah, no doubt."

"Well, this is, pretty big. Good job. I'll tell Dr. Smith. I should probably also tell Fe-" She looked up as that same low rumbling filled the air. "What is  _that?_ " The sound continued to grow in magnitude. Everyone looked around, scanning the sky for the source of the noise through the windows. A lander came into view and Heidi frowned.

"What the… Shuttles kill the hydroprotists! Who is that?!"

The lander slowed and touched down outside the front of the building. The landing engines flared, melting the snow almost instantly. A ramp descended and around twenty men walked out. They were wearing normal jackets and winter gear, not nephelai getup. All of them held guns. Gasps went around the people at the window as the men marched towards the door. Nadia's heart sped up to a million miles a second. The door opened and Brenley stepped in front of Nadia.

"Stay behind me…"

She looked out from around his back, surprised he'd said that. The men spread out throughout the room, pointing their guns at people. Everyone put their hands up and shifted nervously. One of the men stood in the middle of the room.

"We are GIRA. From now on, this planet is under our jurisdiction. Resist, and you will be shot."

Nadia stood, shocked. GIRA? The whole situation seemed surreal. The man in the center of the room gestured. "Line up."

People shuffled into a line. Brenley still stood slightly in front of Nadia. He was surprisingly calm, his shoulders were set square and his feet planted solidly. She resisted the urge to grab at the back of his shirt just to have something to hold onto. The man walked down the line, grabbing people's ID's and looking at them. Every once in awhile he'd look at a person saying, "You. Step out." As he came closer to Nadia and Brenley, her heart went even faster. The man smelled of tinned air and snow. He had a large black coat on and his face was covered by a red cloth that had two rectangular holes for eyes. Something they wore so that pictures wouldnt be sent to the government of their faces. He stepped awfully close to her as he grabbed her ID, pausing before letting it fall back against her chest. He stared at her, sizing her up. His face was so close she could see the green flecks in the grey of his irises. He continued down the line, looking at Brenley's ID and moving past him. They gathered a few people in a separate group and left the others in the line. The man looked at the line, his finger resting on the trigger of his gun. "Everyone who we left is to get in the lander. Again, resist and you will be shot."

Nadia followed Brenley out to the lander, thankful for at least the fact that she had her outer clothes on. Some people didn't and shivered in the freezing conditions. She looked at the guns from the side of her eyes. The dull metal seemed to suck the color out of the surroundings. They crowded into the shuttle, it had scuffed aluminum walls on the inside. She stood next to Brenley and looked up at him as the light diminished from the closing doors.

"Brenley... What is going on?"

He glanced at her, "I'm as lost as you are. I mean GIRA? This is crazy." He shook his head. "I won't let them do anything to you though."

She let out a nervous laugh, "How?"

"Well. They could shoot me first. Wouldn't actually help much but I'd do it." He smiled and they both chuckled at the dark, all too real possibility that they'd both be shot. Nadia glanced at the door,

"Who did they take? Why were they looking at our ID's?"

Heidi heard her and pushed through the crowded shuttle towards them. "They took everyone who is a tech for the beyersdorf. I think they're going to do something with it."

"The beyersdorf techs?"

Realization dawned on Brenleys face, "They're going to make some sort of shield with it. I mean think about it, those are quite a few shuttles and they have a lot of guns but compared to any country's military they're kind of toast. Especially mr. Gun-ho USA. And they could do a hostage situation but those either end up with the hostages dead or the capturers. If they want to use us for ransom, which I'm betting they do, they'll make it so no one can reach us. That way the only thing the government can do is pay."

Heidi looked up at him. "I think you're right…"

Brenley nodded solemnly. "Problem with that plan is the only way the US knows how to deal with situations is by throwing a bunch of guns at it. They can't do that and they don't negotiate with terrorists so… We might be here a while." He glanced at Nadia, "Sorry, you wouldn't be here if it wasn't for me."

"I doubt you could have predicted freaking GIRA showing up. By the way you should be careful, I mean they're pretty white supremacist right?"

He nodded, "Yeah. Apparently part of resurrecting the galaxy's integrity means 'restoring the glory of the white race'."

Heidi sighed, "Just… keep a low profile. Hopefully they won't go out of their way to do anything."

The shuttle ride lasted only about two minutes before it came to a jarring stop and the engines quieted. The GIRA members standing around the shuttle cabin shuffled their guns and herded everyone towards the door. It opened with a blinding light and Nadia stumbled slightly as a freezing wind gusted in. They shuffled down the ramp and Nadia tensed up as the barrel of a gun brushed her back. The fog was so thick she couldn't tell where they landed but near them was the wall and outer door of a building embedded in the rock. The GIRA members made them gather in a circle. The one who had looked at their IDs stood before them.

"You are to stay in this building. There is food and water. We have guards posted outside. You try to escape and you will be shot. Now get inside."

Brenley, Nadia and Heidi were in the back of the group. They waited as everyone filed in. They followed the small crowd into a room hidden by drifts of snow. A GIRA member slammed the door behind them. Nadia's eyes adjusted slowly to the suddenly dark room. The wet snow covered their scarves and soaked through the cloth. She could feel the cold water on her scalp. Heidi flicked on the lights. Men and women huddled in the small room, assumedly more shuttles had dropped them off before. Doors led out on all sides, apparently the place was much bigger. Most of the people still had their scarves and goggles on. Brenley pulled his scarf down and untied his hair, shaking the droplets out in a wide arc.

Nadia noticed the man she had talked to when they first arrived and had seen around a couple other times, the one with the blue scarf and white goggles.

"Holy shit... Ellie?" The man took off his scarf and goggles, revealing dirty blond hair, a short beard, and bright blue eyes set in a handsome, broad face. He looked to be in his early forties, with his hair going grey at the temples. Nadia instantly recognized him, Feliks Krupin. She gaped at him. He knew Brenley? And not only that, she had talked to him without even realizing who he was. He stared at Brenley.

"What are you doing here?"

Brenley gave him an incredulous look. "What the hell are  _you_  doing here?"

"I'm funding this whole thing idiot. But what about you?"

"Well  _Fil"_ He said the nickname in drawling sarcasm. "I'm here because I was doing graphene research until your stupid planet got taken over by fucking GIRA."

"Right. So you're blaming me for a terrorist agency showing up? How exactly could I stop that? They pulled a gun on me, just as they did you."

Brenley sighed and set his goggles down. He reached up and scrubbed his hair, attempting to dry it. "Fucking hell, just my luck that you showed up. Makes this fucked up situation all the more fucked up."

Krupin put his hands up in a display of innocence but his face was locked in a glare. "Don't get all mad now. It was you who left, not me."

The other people watched the two scientists warily. Not wanting to intrude on the conversation. The tension in the room was palpable as they stared at each other.

Brenley glared. His eyes narrowed. In a flash he sprung forward and slammed his curled fist into the side of Krupins face. Krupin fell backward, taking a few steps to steady himself as Brenley shouted.

"You stole all my work you piece of shit! We did that together!"

Krupin looked back up, glaring and clutching his face. He grabbed Brenley's lapels and rushed him, slamming the professor against the wall. "You left for no fucking reason!"

Heidi ran forward, gripping Krupins shoulders and wrenching him off Brenley. "Hey hey hey! We are all going to be stuck in here for a while so how about you kiss and make up alright?!"

A tense silence filled the room as Brenley shook his hand out and Krupin lowered his arms. Heidi glared. "Listen, I'm happy to let you guys talk it out. As long as talking's the only thing you do. We don't need fighting. We're in a bad enough situation as it is. Now are you two willing to behave?"

Krupin shrugged, "As long as he's willing to admit to what he did."

Brenley stepped forward. "Admit to what I did?! How about you start you lying bastard."

They started toward each other again when Heidi pushed them back. "What did I say!"

Brenley pointed violently at the other glaring man. "He cheated me out of billions! And a nobel prize to boot!"

"Yeah well I don't care what he did. Just be civil."

Brenley sighed. He turned away and examined his red knuckles, the skin between them had split. Krupin's face looked worse, his cheekbone was swollen and purple, some vessels had broken and a bit of blood was drying at the edge of his eyebrow. His eye was beginning to swell closed. Apparently the lanky professor could really throw a punch. Brenley brought his hair ties out and pulled his hair back into a knot, he seemed to just be doing it to keep his hands busy. Heidi looked between them.

"Right. Let's see if we can get this figured out." She motioned to the others who had formed a circle around the scuffle. "Alright." She grabbed the shoulder of a man next to her. "Get everyone started on figuring out food and necessities. We're going to be here for a while." everyone turned and file out, lead by the man who was sorting everything out. Nadia watched in silence as Heidi made them sit down in two chairs in a different room She decided to stick with them since there wasn't anybody else she knew there. And they didn't seem to mind. Heidi did not look happy to be playing the role of couples therapist to the two of them as they stared at each other.

"Ok we need to get this over with because we are not in a good situation. This little population we have here is mainly scientists and you two are the best and brightest we've got. We can't have you fighting because they naturally follow you." She looked at Krupin, "Especially you. I mean you're Krupin for christs sake! If you met Einstein and he started fighting someone as soon as they walked in the door you might change your mind on him a bit. And now we know Elias worked with you," she turned to Brenley, "they'll expect the same from you." She let them stew in that for a bit before nodding at Brenley. "Now. Why are you mad."

Brenley took a deep breath, "We worked together on the Krupin cells." He chuckled dryly, " _Krupin_ cells. Even the name betrays it. We worked on them together for twelve years! When we were pretty much done, I left for… personal reasons." He hurried on, "Then this dick decided to take all of the profit. All of the credit. All of everything! And now he's a household name which is pretty much impossible for a scientist." Krupin started to protest when Brenley interrupted, "How much are you worth."

"What?"

"You heard me." His eyes narrowed. "How much. Are you worth."

Krupin sighed, "A hundred and twenty billion."

There was a pause as everyone processed the number. Nadia was shocked, she couldn't even comprehend that kind of money. Brenley nodded.

"And how much did I get? Nothing."

Krupin flung his arms out, "You just up and left! I tried to contact you but you never responded!"

"You tried to contact me a year after the cells were released to the biological industry. You didn't feel like including me from the get-go. Noooo."

Krupin rolled his head. "Alright two things. One, I was mad, and remember that we weren't that old. I understand more now, but at that time… I felt mad. Betrayed. I also thought you wanted nothing to do with me. Including the cells. By the time I realised I was wrong you wouldn't respond." He cracked his knuckles. "I'm not excusing you for leaving though. You never even offered an explanation or apology."

Brenley glanced at Heidi, "Do you mind if we… talk?" he glanced significantly at the door.

Heidi nodded. "I swear to god if I come back in to find you two brawling, you're both grounded." Nadia followed her out. As Heidi excused herself Nadia pretended to make herself busy. The walls were very thin and she couldn't help herself from listening in. The fact that Brenley had worked on probably the most influential research of the last few decades was intriguing. There were a couple of shuffles and sighs as they settled into the chairs. Krupin mumbled,

"Why'd you leave Ellie."

"I had to."

"Why."

There was a pause. "You know why Fil."

A sigh. "Yeah."

After a long pause, Brenley continued. "If I had stayed, it would have gotten out. We would have been arrested. And, we worked so hard. I couldn't risk that."

Nadia wondered what they were talking about. Was it some sort of unethical experiment? Generally when creating cells, and life, ethical questions quickly arise. She heard Krupins voice lower.

"You didn't have to leave." a silence. "You know… I really loved you. More than, anything in the world."

Nadia's eyes went wide.

Brenley's voice was quiet. "So did I."

"Then why'd you leave?"

"It's not like I enjoyed leaving. But, had anyone found out… all of our work would have been for nothing. And we had already had that one policeman come sniffing around. I just don't understand why you kept me out of it."

Krupins voice was dry. "Of course you just care about the fucking science."

"You know that's not true."

Krupin sighed, "What I said back with Heidi was true. But to more of an extent than I revealed. I was mad. I thought you just abandoned me. I mean you didn't even say anything."

"I was scared alright?!" His voice shook slightly, "I was young, and stupid, and scared. And I regret it so much. Every day I wish I could go back and change what I did. I'm sorry. Honestly, I'm so fucking sorry."

Krupins voice was soft and sounded almost dismayed. "You were scared. God, I'm a fucking idiot. Of course you were."

Nadia realized how personal of a conversation they were having and left. She felt guilty for even hearing what she had. She wandered into the next room, which was also empty, and sat down in a chair, contenting herself to wait until they were done, still slightly reeling from what she'd heard. She sent a text to James, checking if he was alright.

Back in the other room, Brenley raised his eyebrows. "Wait, you thought I just wanted to go on a whim?"

"Well… yeah. Fuck, and I  _yelled_ at you. I'm an idiot. And I thought you left just because of that fight."

Brenley paused. "Well it wasn't because I was mad at you or anything. I mean I got over that after just a couple hours. It's just that… it wasn't until then that the full, gravity of it hit me. I mean for the last few years I definitely loved you. But that, that's when I realised that I didn't give a shit if we didn't agree on something. Unconditional and whatnot. So, I panicked. I thought the only way to keep both of us safe was to leave. It was the worst decision I've ever made. I wanted to tell you, to apologize, but it was so hard." his voice caught slightly in his throat.

"So, you didn't move back to France after all."

"France was so that we could be together. What's the point when it's just me."

"I don't know, to… find someone."

"There's not many people, of any sexuality, willing to put up with my shit." He said, "But, honestly I'm sorry."

Krupin sighed, "I'm sorry as well. I should have included you from the beginning."

"I kept the messages you sent."

"Really? I just assumed you had gotten a new number or something."

"Nope. Saved them all. Listened to them each a hundred times."

"Why didn't you call back then?"

"I don't know. I didn't know what I'd say. I was scared. You know how shit I am with stuff like that. Calling people after ages of not talking to them."

Krupin nodded slowly. "Probably should've thought of that. Listen, if we ever get out of this shitshow then I'll announce that we worked together on the cells. As long as you say you voluntarily stayed out of the spotlight because otherwise things could go bad."

"Thanks Fil. And again, I'm sorry. And… I'm really sorry about what just happened. I- I shouldn't have punched you. There's no justification for that."

"It's fine." He smiled, "I mean I know you were mad, but enough to punch me? Lord."

"If it makes any difference I punched you as a scientist, not your… ex." He laughed. "I mean. When I saw you, I barely even thought about our relationship. I used to think about it, a lot. Then after that kind of… faded a bit, I just thought about your nobel prize and the company and-" He left the end of his sentence trailing. "Fil. I uh, I want to be honest. I suppose I can't really, not. I missed you like hell. But, uh, that research, it was the most important thing I've ever done. And- and you took it from me."

"Ellie… Why didn't you just call?"

"You know I can't! You know how hard it is for me. I  _tried._ For years! I tried to call you! And I- I couldn't."

Krupin sighed. "I should have included you from the beginning."

"And I probably should have been more clear about why I left. Or not done it in the first place."

Krupin chuckled, "We were both young idiots." His voice paused for a second or so. "No one's called me Fil in a long time. It's always Dr. Krupin or whatever."

"No need to talk to me about that. I teach. Everyone calls me by my last name. Nadia, the student who's with me, asked what the E on my name plate stood for."

There was a smile in Krupin's voice, "Ooh, do they call you  _Professor_ Brenley? That's so fancy!"

"Coming from a billionaire. But no. They do not call me  _Professor_ Brenley. They just call me Brenley."

"Aw."

"Although, all my black students call me Professor Brenley."

"Is that like a sign of respect?"

"Yeah I mean, Rutherford is the leading science school in Roosevelt, probably Salus. A bit depressing but out of the something like a thousand professors, there's 25 black men and 11 black women. And not all of them do teaching. So there's I think… seventeen black professors who teach. But there's a much higher ratio of black students and so when they do get a class with one of us it's kind of… I don't know. They call me professor."

"Huh. It's weird, being famous. I mean I got to meet the president for christs sake! Man I had dinner at the white house! I've had around a million interviews from TV to newspapers. The company is huge. I mean I never thought I'd be a CEO. I have a PR rep. Imagine that."

"Well you need it. You swear like a fuckin sailor. Oh yeah, guess what. My students gave me a nickname. I'm not supposed to know about it."

"That's amazing. What is it?"

"You'll love this. It's 'Batshit Brenley.'"

Krupin let out an incredulous laugh. "Really?! Batshit Brenley. Why did I never think of that."

They continued talking for around ten minutes. Nadia could still hear the noise of them speaking but couldn't make out the words. The thing was, at this point, being gay was kind of treated like doing marijuana. Both were illegal, people went to jail for both, but people still talked about both when they were among friends. She knew multiple people who were attracted in some way to the same gender and they'd bring it up sometimes, but only when they weren't in public. And along with marijuana, it was mainly associated with college students. Not college professors, certainly not science based public figures. Even though marijuana  _was_ mainly college students whereas anybody of any age could be gay. It was just a stereotype. It made sense though, Brenley had never mentioned ever having a girlfriend, and now that she thought about it, neither had Krupin. Everything about what was going on was surreal. GIRA, finding out Feliks Krupin was on the planet, and that he and Brenley at least used to be together. She tried to take her mind off the fact that as of yet, James hadn't responded to her text.

After a while the door creaked open and Nadia turned to look. Brenley held it open as Krupin walked out behind him, his arms crossed in front of his chest.

"You guys… good now?"

Krupin displayed his easy smile. "Hell yeah." Brenley smirked slightly at that. Krupin continued, "Though my face might be swollen for a while. Thanks for that Ellie."

"Mm. You're welcome." Brenley gestured to Nadia. "Since you two didn't really get an introduction before, Fil this is Nadia Waters, aspiring evolutionary bio student. Nadia you know who he is."

Krupin smiled and stuck out his hand, shaking Nadia's in a firm grip. Her heart thudded, feeling starstruck. He was shorter than she expected him to be, only about 5'8", same height as her. He smirked,

"Hello again."

Brenley looked between them, "Wait, you met before?"

Krupin smiled. "Briefly, yes."

She nodded, "But he was wearing the scarf and goggles so I didn't recognize him. You know I did a terrible project on you in 12th grade. I was really feeling the senioritis so it was… very bad."

He grinned, "A lifelong dream of mine has always been to be the subject of no-effort high school projects. You have to show that to me at some point."

"Oh trust me I really scraped the bottom of the barrel for that one."

Brenley stuck his hands in his pockets, looking to Krupin. "So how long have you been here?" None of them seemed to want to acknowledge the situation they had suddenly been thrust into. Somehow delaying the need to talk about it made them feel slightly better. For the time being.

"Couple months, I mean I've been part of the project since the beginning. But i've been on the planet in this… incarnation I guess, for a couple months. Got me a Harpy and everything."

Nadia tipped her head. "What's it's name?"

"Hephaestion. But that's long so I just use Heph."

Brenley smiled as if Krupin had said an inside joke "Well it's better than Nadia. She named her Banshee 'sputnik'. Ya know, Khrushchev's satellite."

She glared at him, "Okay well at least I didn't name it a fancy word for tomato."

"Excuse you Ceylon is a type of tomato you uneducated savage."

Nadia glanced to the side. "...You're my teacher. I feel like that insults you as well."

Brenley rolled his eyes while Krupin looked at him, "How is it being a professor? I kind of always knew you'd be one."

"Well it's nothing compared to being a billionaire but it's not that bad. As you know I like nothing better than to explain things to people who don't know as much about a subject as me."

"Oh believe me I know that." Krupin smiled at Nadia, "He lectured at me about astrophysics at every opportunity because he knows way too much about that."

"Well I am related to Neil deGrasse Tyson so…."

Krupin sighed, "Being the distant relative, and I mean very distant relative, of an old astrophysicist does not make you an expert."

"What can I say, it's in my genes."

Nadia stared, "Wow that is not how genetics works. You are a terrible biology teacher."

Brenley put a hand on his chest, "You know what it means to me to hear feedback from my students."

Krupin glanced at Brenley. "By the way, your English is  _amazing_  like, holy shit you sound different."

Brenley chuckled. "I basically just talk for a living now." His voice suddenly went into a very strong French accent. Now it was definitely recognizable. " _I can go back to it if you'd like, I just have to imitate my parents._ " He suddenly switched the subject as if remembering something. "Okay okay okay. Can we just address that you named a multibillion dollar company after a  _dungeons and dragons character?"_

"Man it's after the fish! That's why the logo is a fish!"

"The fish was named after Vozmet the gnome! He liked playing jazz on the woodblocks!"

Nadia snorted and Krupin frowned into the distance. "Fuck. I named a multibillion dollar company after a gnome."

Brenley's high laughed echoed through the room. "Did you forget?"

"Yes?!"

"Jesus Christ Feliks you're an idiot."

Nadia glanced between them. "This is intriguing."

Krupin smiled, shaking his head. "I named the company Vozmet after a goldfish me and Elias owned. We used to explain our code to him to find the bugs. I thought it'd be fun to name the company after him since he was there during the entire making of the first machine. And Vozmet the second, who we got in grad school, is still alive in my office. That's why I used a fish in the logo.  _However_. I forgot that we got the name Vozmet from my character in a dungeons and dragons campaign. A gnome named Vozmet who played jazz on the woodblocks and rode a small cow."

"So did you guys go to school together…?"

Krupin nodded. "We got paired as lab partners freshman year. Then we kinda just, became friends and then roommates because you know, broke and all that. And neither of us got dorms, had to split it on an apartment."

There was a creak as Heidi opened the other door and looked at them, "No more fighting?"

Krupin nodded, "Yeah we're good."

"Well listen, Brenley, you were right. They managed to hijack the beyersdorf and make it into some sort of wormhole. Anyone who tries to get into the planet just gets spit out the other side. So it's up to us. But the way the beyersdorf is set we can still send and receive cell signals. We don't know how long this will be the case so I'm telling everyone to call who they need. Hopefully we'll be able to get everyone off this planet, but as of yet we don't have even a semblance of a plan. Krupin, we have contacted the CIA and they talked to whoever is in charge of Vozmet for now. So they already know but you might have a lot of calls to make."

Krupin took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "That's an understatement."

Brenley glanced at him, "Who would even take over if you… didn't make it back."

"Well, Kristina Mohren, she's the president of Vozmet. You might have heard of her."

"Yeah I think I have."

"So she would take over but, there are a lot of things i'd need to make sure she does." He raised his eyebrows, "Holy shit this is gonna take forever to iron out."

Heidi nodded solemnly. "Well good luck, I have to go tell everyone else."

She walked out, Krupin brought out his phone and dialed a number, walking a few steps while it rang.

"...Hey Kris…. Yeah no I'm fine. Listen, there are a lot of things we need to talk about as far as the company goes." He started pacing, running his hand through his hair. Nadia brought out her own phone and fiddled with it. She had no idea what to say to her parents. She watched Krupin pace back and forth, talking rapidly. It was weird even being in the same room as him. He seemed nice but she had never really considered he was an actual person before, with his own thoughts and goals. He was just a figurehead, a face on a magazine cover, a voice in an interview.

He glanced at her and their eyes locked for a split second. He smirked and rolled his eyes at the phone, causing her to smile and look down. He continued pacing for a few minutes before walking into another room, blocking the sound into his free ear with his hand. It left her and Brenley alone in the room. His eyes seemed far off as he spun his pencil around his fingers. She glanced to him.

"Brenley?"

"Yeah?"

" _You_ made the first Krupin machine."

He gave a slight smile. "I mean we worked together on it but yes."

"That's crazy."

He chuckled, "Why?"

"Because it's freaking  _Feliks Krupin!_ I went to a talk thing of his once. There was like a thousand people there! I wanted to ask a question but I couldn't because it was too crowded and he only had time for five or something. God he was time's person of the year. Like he has a time cover. A  _Time_ cover. Not to mention a Nobel prize. I mean that practically makes you a Nobel laureate."

"Practically. I don't actually have the medal."

"Still. The prize was given for the machine and you made it. I'd say that makes you one." There was the distinct buzz of a phone vibrating and Brenley fished his out of his pocket.

"Oh Christ. It's the university."

"Really?"

"Yup. My ass is going to get handed to me on a silver platter here." He stared at the phone as it buzzed.

"I mean, they can't really blame you right?"

"You'd be surprised. But, I hope not." He answered the phone and held it to his ear. "Yup?" There was a pause before he got to his feet. "No we're fine… Yes both of us… Listen, I don't know what's going on any more than you all do." He began pacing and pulled the pencil out of his hair, spinning it around his fingers. "I don't know. They pulled guns on us and confined us to one building… I think they're going to hold us for ransom against the government. There's quite a few other people here." His pencil spinning accelerated. "I don't think there's anything we  _can_  do without getting shot." Brenley walked to the other side of the room and leaned against the wall, a frown on his face. Nadia fiddled with her own phone before dialing Sky. After a few rings she picked up.

"Hey, what's up?"

"Um. Do you have your computer on you right now?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Okay, go to a BBC stream or CNN or some sort of news program."

"Right, one second." Nadia could hear the tapping of keys. "Why?"

"It's uh, hard to explain…"

"Right I'm on BBC America."

There was the faint sound of the announcer in the background. "...So far there seem to be around 400 people who have been taken hostage, there have been no reports on the other 1,700. We are waiting on more news on the story right now. For those of you just joining us, the remote planet Nephelai has been captured by GIRA and they have taken some of the scientists hostage."

Sky's voice was quiet. "Holy shit. Are you and Brenley in that 400?"

"Yeah. We're uh, they aren't letting us out of this one building."

"Are you alright?"

"So far yeah. Don't worry about me, I'm sure I'll be fine. So long as I just keep a low profile. Listen, I know this is a lot to ask but could you do me a massive favor?"

"Yeah sure, what is it?"

"Could you… call my parents? Tell them what's going on?"

"Shouldn't you do that..?"

"I mean I could, but, I don't think I can deal with all their worrying and just, stress. I'm sorry to ask, I just, I don't know what to say."

Sky paused, "Okay. Yeah sure I can do that."

"Thanks Sky, honestly. I uh, I gotta go. Nothing's wrong just, the cell signal is going to cut out as I leave this room."

"Okay. Be safe." Nadia hung up and glanced at Brenley. He seemed to have noticed her lie but simply gave her a small understanding nod. She felt a bit guilty but she just didn't want to deal with even Sky's worries. She flipped her phone over in her hand, blankly watching Brenley as he continued to pace and spin his pencil. Her phone pinged and she glanced at it. It was a message from James. He finally responded.

"Hey man you alright? This is crazy!"

"Yeah I'm fine. Where are you?"

"Same building you left me in."

"They shuttled us somewhere but I can't tell where. Have you seen Heidi?"

"Yes actually, have you?"

"Yeah, I think we're in the same building. Just a part I don't know."

"Probably, there's a lot of people here. I think everyone they didn't take is here."

"Wait, guess who I met."

"Who."

"Feliks fucking Krupin!"

"Oh shit, they got him as well?"

"Wait wait wait, you knew he was here?"

"Yeah man! I mean he like, funded this whole thing. He pops by every once in awhile. Sometimes for months."

"Ok. Thanks for that tidbit of information that you NEVER TOLD ME."

"He asked us not to tell people! I mean, can you blame him? He's famous as fuck."

"Okay well something you didn't know is that his old research partner, who did equal work in inventing the cells, is our one and only professor Brenley."

"You're kidding."

"Not at all! Actually Brenley punched him when they saw each other."

"Really? Holy shit."

"Yeah, turns out there was a bit of a misunderstanding. I think they're all good now." She decided that outing them, even to someone like James who would be understanding, was a pretty shitty thing to do.

"Where are you? I'm in kind of the big main room."

"Some sort of small side room. I'll come out, see if I can find you." She got up and walked towards the door. Brenley nodded at her as she left, still on the phone. She spotted Krupin as she walked towards the main room. He had a collapsable tablet propped up and was on some sort of video call with a bunch of important looking suits.

The next few hours were chaos as the hostages set up the building and called loved ones. She found James and they decided to stick together for the time being. Poor Heidi and Krupin and Brenley as well as some other higher ups Nadia didn't even know seemed too busy to contact their family or friends. As she and James were just sitting around and not able to help with either the government or the university, they decided to see if they could call anyone's family. James took most of the people she didn't know. She asked Brenley first when he was on a break from talking to the dean, his forehead was in his hands.

"Hey Brenley. I can… call someone if you'd like. Family or something. Just to tell them you're alright. I know you're busy and, well I don't want them to not hear anything before the signal cuts out."

He stared at her for a second before giving a small smile. "Thank you. That's a pretty thoughtful offer." He brought out his phone and texted her a number. "That's my brothers number. If I'm correct about the time zones he should be awake. He lives in Beauvoir, he just would be the only one awake right now." Just as he finished explaining he got another call. "Aw fuck." His face showed lines of stress as he answered it. He spoke softly as he brought it up to his ear. "His names Braiden. He speaks English."

The number had the +144 country code of the French colony. She called it and held her phone to her ear, a bit nervous about telling Brenley's family he might never come home. After a few rings, a voice answered.

"Allô?"

"Hello?"

"Ah, whoops, English caller. Hello?"

Nadia chuckled. "Hi yeah is this Braiden Brenley?" She already knew the answer. His voice sounded almost exactly the same with just a stronger accent.

"That would be me. What do you want?"

"Uh you don't know me but my name's Nadia Waters and I'm your brother's student at Rutherford. Have you been watching the news in the last few hours?"

"Not really? Why?"

"Well… I don't really know how to say this but me and him were on a research project and the planet we're on just got captured by GIRA and we're being held hostage."

There was a long silence. "Is this some sort of prank call."

"No! No this is legitimate. It's sounds crazy but we're here stuck in this one room because they won't let us out and the cell signal hasn't yet been cut out but when they get to the cell towers it probably will."

"Is he alright?"

"Yeah, that's what I was calling about. Just to tell you that he's okay. You're going to be seeing a lot of stuff on the news. A lot of people got killed. And so as we have the signal I thought I might call people's family. He said you'd be the most likely to be awake due to time zones."

There was another long silence. "Why didn't he call himself?"

"He's currently very busy figuring out what to do with the university. I offered to do this. So, you might want to call the rest of your family."

"Yeah… god damnit. Okay. Thank you. What was your name again?"

"Nadia Waters."

"Thank you Nadia. Honestly. Our parents would have been worried sick if they heard nothing from him but saw the news."

"Yeah. Your uh, your brother's a pretty good guy. He's being brave as hell."

There was a smile in his voice. "Shoulda seen when some older guys were picking on me in middle school. And by older I mean his age at the time. Tell him not to be too brave. We want him to come home."

"I will."

"Thanks Nadia. For calling and everything."

"Yeah no problem. I'll see you. Hopefully."

"Yeah. Bye."

"Bye."

Heidi had her call her husband, a very nice man who sounded worried for his wife but generally stayed pretty cool. It took her quite a bit of courage to go up and ask Krupin. His eyes shone as he smiled. "Thank you but uh.. I don't really have any family and my best friend is the president of Vozmet who I, was just on the phone with."

"You don't want me to call anyone?"

"I mean, thank you for offering but… I can't really think of anyone you could call."

"Oh. Okay."

Nadia called a few other people's families before returning to a couch, nothing else to do. Ten minutes later, the connection was cut off. Brenley was on the phone and took it away from his ear, looking at the tiny 'no service' up in the corner.

"Shit."

Krupin stared at the blank screen he had been talking to someone from the CIA on and Heidi lowered her phone. Both seemed incredibly stressed. And like that, they were alone. There was nothing people on the outside could do.


	4. Chapter 4

Heidi almost immediately got to work, she pulled out her tablet and walked over to Krupin. "Dr Krupin, would you know anything about physics?"

Krupin grimaced. "A bit? Mostly to do with chemistry. Micro stuff. Electrons and neutrons and nuclear decay, stuff like that." He glanced to the side. "Actually… Elias is pretty good with physics." He turned. "Elias?" Brenley looked up from his position on the couch.

"Yeah?" His voice sounded tired.

"You still into physics?"

"Yeah? Why?"

Heidi turned to him as well. "Would you happen to know big stuff. Spacetime and relativity and all that."

He nodded and Krupin backed him up. "That's like, his specialty. He's really good."

"Oh thank god." Heidi said, her voice relieved. "Since they took the beyersdorf techs, the scientists we're left with are mostly biologists with a few electrical engineers and computer scientists. Before the connection was cut off, we received this from the government." she slid her tablet open and handed it to him. "This is the very quick data they were able to collect about what GIRA did with the beyersdorf. Are you able to understand any of it?"

His eyes skimmed the document, brows furrowed in concentration. After a second he nodded slowly. "I think I know what's going on."

She raised her eyebrows. "Good. Okay yeah, that's great. Do you think you can tell everyone else here what's going on?"

He looked up and a small smile spread across his face. "I teach for a living. I think I can manage. Though I might need to look at this a bit more."

"Yeah of course. I'll get everyone into the auditorium." He nodded and she left, off to get everyone together. Brenley leaned back and frowned at the document, spinning his pencil. Krupin watched him read for a second before sighing and resting his elbows on the small table he sat at. The room was weirdly warm. Everyone had taken off their jackets and he wore a blue button up under his. He had unbuttoned the cuffs and pushed the sleeves up. Even this slight dishevelment was a worse state than she was used to seeing him like. He saw her looking and smiled.

"Bit of a situation huh?"

"Yeah." She glanced down at her hands. "Do you have any idea what we're going to do?"

"Ummm…" He leaned his head to the side and ran his fingers through his hair. "No. If I'm being honest, I have no fucking idea."

She nodded. "Yeah. That's what I thought."

There was a brief silence and he glanced over at Brenley who was staring at the document, tapping the eraser end of his pencil on his mouth. "You understanding that Ellie?"

He took the pencil away and spun it. "Yeah. God I wish Julie was here." He looked up, clarifying. "Buchanan. She's way better at this stuff than me."

Krupin frowned. "You're really good at physics though."

"I like it. Doesn't necessarily mean I'm an expert. Julie on the other hand…" He trailed off and shook his head. "She's ridiculous."

Nadia nodded, agreeing with him. "He's right."

"Well… you're a far sight better than me."

Eventually Heidi came back. She had managed to gather all 400 something of the hostages into the auditorium area. It was a bit packed as the building was not really intended to house 400. She explained that Brenley would be talking about the beyersdorf before letting him take the stage. He shifted his position at the podium and adjusted the mic to his height given his eight inches on Heidi. He cleared his throat.

"Alright. So most of you probably don't know me. Other than when I punched Feliks Krupin earlier today…" There were some chuckles and he smiled. "Anyways, my name is Elias Brenley and normally I teach Chemistry and Biology at Rutherford. However today I guess I'm going to give my best shot at astrophysics.

"Before the connection was cut off we got this document from the government." He tapped the tablet and the document was projected up on screen. It had a block of very small text and some diagrams that looked to be showing the planet. He swiped it to the side and arrived at a blank page.

"Okay. Since that document is very wordy and jargon-y I'm just going to explain what it says and kind of draw out the concepts here." He drew a squiggle with the stylus before erasing it, then took a deep breath.

"Alright… Now basically what theyve done is used the fact that a beyersdorf works on the same principals as a wormhole. Now you might think that they're very different because one warps space and one warps time. But the thing is, space and time are intertwined. You probably have heard the term 'spacetime' or 'the fabric of spacetime' before. And that's how the universe works. They're intertwined." He laced his fingers together. "So with a bit of tweaking it wouldn't be hard to convert a beyersdorf to do what a wormhole does. And that's what GIRA has done here. From what the government is saying, when they try and approach the planet, a kind of wormhole effect happens and they end up being spit out the other side." He drew a circle on the blank page, then a dot next to it. "So they jump from here, to here." He put a dot on the other side. "Now you might just think they made a normal wormhole. But wormholes are just kind of one portal. This is around the entire planet. Well actually, the entire solar system. But it's easier to draw a planet." He drew a squiggly circle around the planet. "And its three dimensional so it's a sphere. So. What they've done is put us in a separate pocket universe." He paused and let everyone think about that a second. He walked over to Heidi and spoke for a second. She handed him a piece of paper and he went back to the podium.

"Now I'm sure all of you have seen the example. That to get from point a to point b with a wormhole you do this." He bent the paper in half, the same example he had shown Nadia for the beyersdorf. "Except now it isn't a to b. It's, this entire area." His fingers waved vaguely over one half of the paper. "To this entire area." He gestured to the other half. "And the planet in the middle is completely skipped over. So it's more like if you did this." He folded it again, then slowly ripped it. "You're not just poking a hole, you're taking this entire bit out of the equation."

He paused, setting the paper down. "However, what's weird is that we were still able to communicate with the outside world once this pocket universe was set up. Which means light can still get in and out. Since cellular signals are radio waves which are electromagnetic waves which is a fancy word for light. Also the government ships can see the planet, they just can't reach it. This is probably because light doesn't have my mass. But you all have been through wormholes, you know what bizarre stuff light does. So it's weird that light is not affected.

"You've probably heard that black holes are so massive that they pull light in with their massive amounts of gravity. This is… kind of true. You don't normally think of gravity as something that affects light. It's better to think of gravity as a warping of space. What happens is that black holes warp space time so much, that light appears to be affected since it goes on a straight line through space time. And if spacetime is curved, like around a black hole, it will travel along a curved straight line. Imagine drawing a line on a sphere. And honestly I don't know how the light isn't affected. It should be given how much spacetime is warped. But it isn't. And it seems the government scientists didn't know either. Actually, it should be warped with the beyersdorf anyways, when it's on that is. Maybe Beyersdorf himself would know."

He glanced at Krupin and noticed he had placed his finger on his watch. Brenley stuttered for a second, "W- well anyways that's not really important. Are there any questions?"

Someone raised their hand and he pointed at them. "Yes?"

"So if the communications weren't cut off when they changed the beyersdorf, what cut them off? Sorry if that's an obvious question. I'm just here as a janitor really."

Brenley shook his head. "No stupid questions. And not everyone here is a scientist, so it's good you're asking. What I assume happened is they just destroyed our cell tower and wifi satellites. Or not the satellites themselves but somehow wrecked how we access it. I don't know much about that stuff.

"Anyways the big question now is how to get out. We're on our own. The government can't help, nothing with any matter can pass the barrier. I have a feeling that if we just steal a spaceship and go straight up then it… won't go good. Best guess we end up on the other side of the pocket universe, rocketing towards the surface. We need to get the beyersdorf back to not warping anything first. And the control center is luckily, on the surface of the planet. If anyone here has any ideas on how to get there that would be… good. I guess." He gave a nod before glancing back to Heidi. "Okay so that's what's going on with the beyersdorf. I think Dr. Krupin has a few things to say so I'll let him do that." He adjusted the microphone again as Krupin was a good half foot shorter, then let him take his place. As they passed each other on stage, Krupin lightly jostled him, barely enough for anyone else to notice. It made Brenley crack a smile. Krupin turned to face the audience and took a deep breath.

"So, I'm Dr. Feliks Krupin, if you didn't know that… While communications were still up, me and Heidi worked pretty hard to figure out what to do. We talked to CIA people and generals and all that, to basically no progress. The government was unable to figure out any way to help us while we were in contact. And now the contact is lost. So we have to come up with, not really a plan to escape, for now, but a plan on just how to live. We have about four hundred people here. And we're all confined to one building for an indefinite amount of time. And, we don't know what GIRA wants from us. So Heidi will go over what we came up with, just as far as food and everything goes, in a second. However, I was just thinking. I have read quite a few books and generally a bunch of people stranded in one place with no leadership goes badly. We don't want a Lord of the Flies narrative playing out here. So I suggest we elect a leader, not like a dictator-y leader but just someone to break ties and keep us on the same page. And, I think Heidi would be great for that."

From the look on Heidi's face, she knew he was going to suggest that.

"Unfortunately, Dr Smith who was leading this project, is, at large. We don't know if there are other peaks like ours... or not." The way he said it suggested the morbid alternative. "However I think most of you can admit that Heidi has done her fair share of running this place so far. So unless anyone has any objections, I feel we should just 'elect' her so to speak as an informal leader of sorts."

Someone in the front of the crowd spoke up. "Why not you?"

"Why not me?" He chuckled. "Because I'd be shit."

That got some laughs and he smiled. "It's true. But more seriously, I do own a company but I'll be honest, I don't really run it. I do science. I have degrees in biochemistry and cellular biology. And since how we're going to get out of here is probably by sciencing the fuck out of guerilla warfare, I feel like it would be better to put me to use, doing that. Also I don't think anyone has a degree in 'leading hostage revolts', but Heidi is pretty damn close with project management. A hostage revolt is just a project really." He grinned again, shaking his head slightly. "Lord this is a situation and a half isn't it." He paused for a second before looking up at the crowd. "Anyways. If no one has any objections to Heidi becoming our president, or PM, we might as well just get on with it." He stayed silent for a good few seconds, giving people time to speak up. "Alright! Good. I will hand you off to Madam President." It took a second for Heidi to take his place.

"So the bad news is we're trapped. And as of yet, we don't have a plan to get out of here. The GIRA members seem to have left us to our own volition. They probably don't think there's anything we can do so why bother. But, fuck them. So we're going to try to figure this out, for now though I'm just going to tell you some basic stuff so we can survive. We have around 400 people here. Which means we have enough food for almost two years. It's just frozen packaged stuff so don't be expecting any 5 star meals here. If you have any allergies please put your name and allergies on this list when I'm done. We will be rationing food later on. We have enough water, and heat and all that stuff. So we shouldn't have problems with the toilets or showers or whatnot."

She paused, "So.. we also have some other things to discuss. For whoever needs them, we should have enough pads and tampons for the two years the food will last. And since we can't really ration those things, we'll have a place for you to get them. Everyone, we do have ventilation but please, I'm begging you, wear deodorant."

There were a couple chuckles and she continued, "I'm serious. We do also have enough here given this was a living area which is very lucky." She sighed. "Now I know that because we have around 400 adult humans on one mountain, stuff happens. So for the love of god, use condoms." Almost everyone pointedly looked down at the floor, anywhere but at the people next to them.

"We'll have them in the same area as the 'feminine products'. If you're too embarrassed to get them, grow the hell up or just don't have sex. We have a full surgical team but I don't want any pregnancies or STD's. Speaking of doctors, I know some of you are on medications. So everyone get one of these papers and please write out your name and what you need. Along with if you can survive without it, if you can go without it but you'd have a bad time, or if you'd literally die if you didn't take it. These will all be given to Scott and he will be the only one who knows what you need. So no need to worry about confidentiality."

The only prescription Nadia took was birth control and she decided it wasn't worth the embarrassment. Even if it was mainly just for cramps.

Heidi continued. "I'll get some people to arrange everyone into jobs and stuff. For now, if you have a room here, see if you can squeeze some others in since we don't have enough beds, and just hang out for a second while we figure this out. Then we'll start planning how we get out of here. Alright?"

There were a few mumbled affirmations.

"Okay. Now it is getting warm in here since this room wasn't supposed to hold this many people. So, disperse." There was some shuffling and people slowly started to leave.

As they all filed into the commons area right by the front doors, there was a noise. The main door banged open, letting in a swirl of cold air and snow. Everyone looked up as a group of the invaders walked in. They had guns held loosely in their hands. People parted like the red sea in front of Moses. The leader stepped forward. He had taken his red mask off, given that they now couldn't send pictures of him to the government. He looked… normal. There was no 'villain scar' or eyepatch or whatnot. He honestly looked like the manager of a nordstrom rack, just an average white guy. He had brown hair cut short and was probably in his mid forties.

"Where's Feliks Krupin."

Krupin pushed through a couple lines of people and stood in front of the leader, his arms crossed. "What do you want. If you're going to do anything, do it to me, leave them out of it."

The leader chuckled, "That's what we thought you'd say." He swung his gun around and slammed the butt of it into Krupin's face. Krupin reeled backwards. He stumbled and put his hands up to his nose. Brenley stepped forward and was stopped by a gun barrel pressed into his chest. Krupin stood up, his hands still covering half his face.

"Ah! What the hell?!"

The man stepped forward and punched him in the cheekbone. Krupin stumbled again and shook his head, looking foggy. Brenley pressed up against the gun,

"What are you doing? Stop!"

The man holding the gun gestured with it. "I wouldn't move another inch, stretch."

The man punched Krupin again. And again. The muscles in Brenley's jaw stood out like ropes as Krupin lay on the floor, his face swollen and bloody. He groaned and propped himself up on his elbows. He spat out a mouthful of blood. His speech fumbled a bit with his swollen lips.

"Man, you better not harm this brain. It's worth more than you could ever steal with your little hostage scheme."

"Do you want to get punched again? Because I won't hesitate."

"I mean I'd prefer if you didn't."

"Smart guy huh?"

Krupin glanced at everyone gathered around and smiled to the best of his ability. "Some people might say that."

The man gestured with his gun. "Get up."

Krupin struggled to his feet and put his hand on his face. Two of the invaders walked over and grabbed his arms. They led him into a separate room and a couple of guards stood sentry at the closed door. Brenley looked at them,

"What are you doing to him?"

They didn't respond. He took a step forward and Nadia grabbed his sleeve. "Brenley they have guns."

He glanced between them and her. "What if they're hurting him?"

"They won't do anything serious. I mean he's Feliks Krupin, he's the best asset they've got for getting money if that's their goal. If they did anything they'd be monumentally idiotic." Brenley continued to stare at the door. "He'll be fine Brenley." His concern meant all the more now she knew about their relationship.

A line appeared between his brows, "He better be. Or I'll kill every one of them." Surprisingly, it sounded like if he could, he'd go through with that.

It took about a half hour before the door opened again and Krupin was roughly thrown to the floor. He scrambled to his feet and took a few quick steps away. The invaders looked at the crowd of people gathered.

"We're done here. Don't try anything funny. We have guards posted around the peaks." They swept out the front door, leaving Krupin standing in the middle of the room, his face bloody and bruised, even worse than when he went in. Brenley rushed over to him,

"Are you alright? What were they doing?"

Krupin put his hand out, "I'm fine. It's just superficial. They just filmed some ransom note thing. They just had me sit in front of a camera with two of their fuckin stormtroopers or whatever and say that they'd release me and everyone else for three hundred billion dollars."

Heidi raised her eyebrows, "Three hundred billion?! That's not going to happen. I mean the government doesn't even negotiate with terrorists, much less to the tune of three hundred billion dollars."

"Not everyone here is American though."

"But those countries won't pay that amount of money to get back a couple of their citizens and a bunch of other random people."

People started coming closer, listening in to the conversation. A man Nadia assumed to be a doctor looked at Krupin's face.

"You might need a few stitches."

"Really?" Krupin prodded his cheekbone and his hand came away bloody. "Oh yeah. They slapped me around a bit on video. Got on the nasty end of a taser too. That was fun."

Heidi glanced at everyone. "Okay so I don't think anyone is going to pay the ransom. Scott why don't you go with Krupin and get him patched up. Everyone else, we need action. We are much smaller than the amount of GIRA members on this planet so we need clever ideas. We have at our disposal, this entire lab and living quarters along with whatever materials are here. You all are 400 of the best scientists so let's get some ideas going."

Scott turned out to be a general practitioner. He was in his early fifties with curly salt and pepper hair and a kind but serious face, like a teacher almost. He had a small team of doctors working under him, some of them were barely out of medical school. He brought Krupin over to his office which was handily already in the building before the invaders arrived. Heidi followed him.

"Dr. Krupin, we need to talk." She glanced at Brenley. "Professor, why don't you come with." Brenley nodded.

"Alright. Waters c'mon."

"Really?" Nadia said, surprised.

"Yeah."

Heidi gave them a bizarre look but didn't say anything.

Krupin leveraged himself up onto the examination table as Scott searched around in the drawers for iodine and needles and bandages. Heidi grabbed a chair as Nadia and Brenley leaned up against the counters.

"So Doctor, what exactly did they say."

He shrugged. "That was pretty much it. I mean, I was kinda not cooperating which is why it took a bit but, that's all they said." He winced as Scott spread orange iodine one his cheek.

"Sorry 'bout that Doctor." Scott said.

"Okay, enough with the Doctor stuff. We're in a damn hostage situation." He smiled and stuck his thumb at Scott. "He's an actual doctor and you're calling him Scott. I'm not Tom Baker."

Scott chuckled. "Alright. Okay I'm gonna have to actually do the stitches now, so, bit of a pinch." He positioned the needle and poked it in, tugging it gently through. Krupin grimaced.

"Ow."

Heidi crossed her arms. "Well, without making you talk too much, since that doesn't seem like that's a good idea, what do you think we should do?" She turned to Brenley. "You sure there's no way the government can get to us?"

"Yeah. It's impossible. It's like trying to access a midpoint between the openings of a wormhole, just by using the wormhole. It can't be done."

"God ff- damnit." She sighed, shaking her head. "What do we do? Do we fight back somehow?"

Brenley stared into the distance. "I mean… I can think off the top of my head a few makeshift weapons we could make with what we have. We have acid. Shouldn't be too hard. But, we're so outnumbered. And they have actual guns."

Krupin nodded, agreeing with him. All of them sat silent, thinking. Nadia nudged Brenley lightly with her elbow and spoke softly to him.

"You wouldn't be able to replicate those graphene cells, would you?"

His eyes shifted as he thought about it for a second. His face slowly split into a smile and he spoke back in the same low tone. "You're a fucking genius."

Heidi looked up. "What is it?"

"Those cells this morning, we got them to make graphene. Granted just a little bit. But, if we replicated the cells and provided them with plenty of graphite, we could get them to make pretty big sheets of graphene. And that stuffs bulletproof. I doubt the GIRA guys have bulletproof vests. In fact all the ones we saw didn't."

Krupin interrupted him. "Wait wait wait. You got the carbon cells to produce graphene? Autonomously? Holy shit I couldn't crack that." Scott was still working away at the stitches.

Brenley shrugged. "I mean I only just got them working this morning." Nadia didn't quite get the scale of his achievements until she realized Feliks Krupin couldn't do what he did.

Krupin raised his eyebrows appreciatively as Heidi leaned forward. "So you'd be able to make graphene?"

"Given more graphite than we have now then yes."

"Right. Well I know there's a way out of this building that I'm fairly sure GIRA does not know about. It's a drain for the warm water we pump up to heat this place. We just let it drain out the side of the mountain as it returns to the environment pretty well that way. I know the geologists have mapped out the mountains as far as mineral deposits go. Then we can send some people out, probably banshees would work better as they can hang on cliffs. I guess, we can work from there. Although, we should probably do that tomorrow. We still have a lot of stuff to figure out with just, living arrangements and it's getting late, it wouldn't be fun to do that at night."

"But we would be less likely to be seen at night." Brenley said.

"You forget they probably don't have SWIR. We can see through the clouds and they can't."

"Oh yeah."

"Right, well I think I'll leave you here, there's a lot to do."

"Okay." Krupin said, wincing again as Scott tied a stitch.

As she stood up, Scott spoke slowly, still concentrating. "I'm almost done here."

Heidi was about to leave when Krupin's face fell. "Wait. There is something they said in there. I didn't even think twice until now. They said, three hundred billion, for the four hundred people we have hostage." There was a pause and he swallowed. "They didn't mention the others. They aren't hostages."

Heidi went still. "Aw shit."

Krupin shook his head. "Everyone who wasn't on this peak. Dr. Smith, everyone. There was more than 2000 people on the planet."

"God." Heidi wiped her mouth with her hand before glancing away. "I should go, lots to do."

"Okay, good luck."

There was a heavy silence in the room after she left. Eventually Scott spoke in a low voice. "Stitches are done. There's still quite a bit of bandaging I have to do though."

"Alright. Why don't you two go on, no use waiting around for me."

Brenley nodded. "Yeah. Okay, see you in a bit." He stood up and Nadia followed him out the door.

As they went back into the commons, she glanced at him. "Well, what do we do now?"

"Well, I gotta go do something. You can just, stay here I guess."

"Okay…"

He gave a curt nod and left abruptly, leaving her standing awkwardly in the middle of the room, nothing to do. Not a great situation. Luckily a ringing in her headset saved her. She frowned slightly, then answered. "Hello?"

James' voice crackled in. "Hey man, where the fuck are you?"

"In the commons, Brenley abandoned me so I'm just standing here like an idiot."

"Classy."

"How is this working? The cell signal got cut off."

"They're like walkie talkies. Radio, rather than cell."

"Oh. But, cell is radio waves."

"Man I don't know! I guess it just means it doesn't need a cell tower?"

"Yeah… true. Anyways, why are you calling me?"

"I got assigned to deal with the animals. We can't waste energy on keeping them in the tanks. We gotta let them all go."

"Aren't there like, a million?"

"Yup. Which is why I was asking you if you were free to help. Which if you're standing in the commons like a lighthouse of sadness then you are."

She chuckled. "Okay I'll come, no need to be mean, asshole."

She met him in the massive warehouse that held the tanks. He and Mae were wearing leather gloves trying to hold a myriad of animals, lazy man's load style. He looked up as she walked in. "Perfect. Here's some gloves, grab as many as you can."

"This looks like a fun time." She put the pair on and scooped a couple small bat like creatures into her arms. They clung to her shirt with tiny claws, making small chirping noises. "Aw these are adorable. I don't want to let them out."

Mae smiled as she hoisted a bizarre looking fuzzy creature about the size of a cat onto her shoulder. "Yeah, I want to adopt all of these."

"Sadly," James said, twining a lizardy thing around his fingers, "They'll be better outside. We have to go through the drainage tunnel. Apparently they turned it off for now so we don't have to wade through a couple feet of water. We still gotta be careful though. Ready?"

Mae and Nadia nodded, both trying to keep the animals they held from escaping. As they descended some flights of stairs into a sort of basement, Nadia plucked one of the bats off her scarf and returned it to her arms. "What about the banshees and stuff? Everything in the paddocks?"

"This paddock at least is being turned off. The others will turn off in a couple weeks automatically."

"And what about the other tanks?"

"There's… not much we can do about them. Unless there's people on the other peaks." He shoved aside a box, revealing a maintenance tunnel.

"There aren't." Nadia said softly.

Mae and James looked at her. "What?"

"Krupin said that the guys who beat him up mentioned only having four hundred hostages. They wouldn't just let the others go."

The two of them stood still, processing what she said.

"Shit…" James said, staring blankly ahead. "I knew a bunch of those people."

"Yeah. I mean, the people I know on the planet are all here but, god. That was more than a thousand people."

Mae swallowed audibly. "What is wrong with them. How can you do that. How can you just, kill that many people."

"I dunno." Nadia said. "It's crazy."

"Well, on that… terrible note," James said, his face crestfallen, "We have to start getting these outside."

"Yeah, let's go." They all put their scarves up and took the goggles off their foreheads, getting them into position. She followed James into the tunnel and Mae closed it behind them. It was obvious it connected to the outside, cold air surrounded them, getting colder as they walked. Their feet made small splashing noises in the shallow water as they headed towards the opening. She half amusedly wondered if this was what death was like, but didn't say anything due to the recent revelation. Eventually they came out on a small ledge. It didn't have much footing but a couple feet to the right a massive boulder jutted off the mountainside. They traversed their way onto it, still precariously holding their living cargo. James took in a deep breath, letting it out in a small cloud.

"Right. Nadia you can just kinda chuck those bat guys, they'll fly. Anything that doesn't fly just put on the cliff wall."

"Alright. Bye guys." She plucked the bats off one by one and gently lobbed them into the air where they took flight, fluttering away. Mae also chucked her cat sized creature, flaps of skin unfolded into a large sail like thing and it glided away into the mist. After they had all dispensed of their passengers, they went back inside.

They made the trip about ten times before it started to get dark. There were lights in the tunnel but they didn't want to alert GIRA, so they called it a day.

Nadia made her way back to the rooms, every muscle felt tired. But she somehow knew she wouldn't be able to fall asleep easily. On the way to the rooms there was a small terrace, it jutted out from the building, one side embedded in an almost sheer cliff that fell away beneath it. GIRA had probably swept the place at the beginning and decided it was too steep and too small for any sort of escape attempt. Not that they would have anywhere to go other than the surrounding peaks which had basically the same resources as the one they were on. As she passed the glass door that opened up to it, she noticed a figure. Leaning against the handrail, a man stood smoking. It took her a second to recognize him as Brenley. It didn't really seem like a thing he'd do and a beanie obscured his hair save for the tips of his braids that stuck out from under it. She walked out and joined him by the rail, a heating lamp bathed her in waves of warmth.

"I didn't know you smoked."

He glanced at her then let out a long plume of smoke as he exhaled. "I don't."

She smiled. "I must be hallucinating then."

"I used to smoke. Started when I was fourteen."

"Jesus."

"Yup. For some reason in france it's kind of a, common thing. Then when I moved I realized americans tend to think smokers are gross. Justifiably so to be honest. So, I quit. But I just found out that that little store things sells cigarettes. Or used to at least, asked them if I could have a pack and they said why not. It's not exactly a necessary resource. And since there's a good chance we're all gonna die, I decided to just, fuck it." He took another drag and let it out through his nose.

"And what if we don't die?"

"I'll just quit again. I mean it was hard the first time but not impossible. I just chewed like twenty packs of nicotine gum a day. Also this was one of the last five packs at the store. I'm sure the rest will be gone before long. So I'm saving these for 'special occasions' so to speak."

The door opened again and they both turned to look. Krupin walked out. Scott had put bandages over his cheek cuts and his eyebrow. He frowned at Brenley. "Good lord Ellie. How long has it been since you smoked?"

"Eighteen years. And before you say anything, I know I shouldn't be doing this."

He joined them at the rail. "Wasn't going to say anything. You haven't smoked in eighteen years, shows that normally you wouldn't. It's just this weird fucked up situation." He paused. "Hey so where I was sleeping was on 212. Think I can stay with you guys? I'll just take the couch."

"Sure, no problem." The air was still a bit tense and Nadia shifted her feet uncomfortably. Of course, they didn't know she knew. And telling them she knew right now would culminate in probably one of the most awkward situations in history. So she decided to wait for a more opportune moment. Brenley glanced at her.

"So what were you doing the last couple hours?"

"Letting animals go."

"Ah. Makes sense. Drain on the resources, and they're better off outside anyways."

"What about you two?"

"I was making some vats with my team for the graphene."

Krupin shrugged, "Getting things organized with Heidi."

"God… this was a long day." Brenley said, letting out another plume of smoke.

"Yeah. That's an understatement."

Brenley nodded, then inspected his cigarette. It was too short to get any more use out of so he took one last drag before grinding the butt into the railing. "I'm starving. There's some food back at the rooms. Also I know for a fact we have an unopened six pack there. Which at this point I'm seriously considering not letting you two have and just chugging it all to myself."

"Smoking and drinking. You're a good role model Brenley." Nadia said, her voice amused.

"Since when did I have to be a role model?"

"You're a teacher! You're around…" she waved her hand vaguely, "Young minds. Or whatever."

"You have the mind of a 40 year old basement dweller and you know it."

Nadia snorted as Krupin stared at him. "What the fuck kind of professor are you Elias?"

"The best kind." He stood up off the railing. "C'mon. I'll make something for dinner. I think we should have enough stuff for a… quiche or something."

Back at the rooms, Nadia watched Brenley bustle around the kitchen, confused. The whole time they'd been there he had either eaten microwave meals, stuff from the cafeteria, or thrown together lettuce and some random stuff into a bowl for salad. She hadn't even seen him make boxed mac and cheese. He had put his music on again and was mouthing the words to some French pop thing. He paused for a second and placed his hands on his hips, working his mouth as he considered something.

"Right. I need to go to the bathroom. You two might as well make yourself useful." He plopped down a large ball of dough onto a cutting board, passing Nadia a rolling pin. "Roll that. Feliks? Stir." He gestured at a bowl and tossed him a whisk. With that, he dusted his hands and went off to the bathroom. Nadia walked over to the dough and began rolling it. She glanced sideways at Feliks as he stirred the bowl of eggs.

"Did you know he cooks?"

Feliks bobbed his head. "Only does it when he wants to take his mind off something. Most of the time he's too lazy. Also cooking is… too simple of a thing that…" He paused. "Like cooking is something that you can't multitask with, but it's not necessarily mentally taxing. And if he doesn't do something mentally taxing he has to multitask. Most of the time."

Brenley called out from the bathroom. "I can hear you fucker!"

Krupin chuckled, then yelled back. "Am I wrong?!"

There was a pause. "...No!"

He walked back out of the bathroom, his hands still wet from when he washed them. As he passed Krupin he flicked some of the water in his face. "Gossiper." He glanced at Nadia. "Lord Waters. Have you ever rolled something in your life?"

She looked down at her dough. "I thought it was going fine!"

"You thought wrong. Here, lemme." He spun the cutting board towards him and flattened the dough in quick half-rolls.

Soon the smell of quiche was filling the room like heaven. The three of them devoured half of it and stuck the other half in the fridge for later. Nadia slumped in her chair, almost too full to move. "Lord Brenley. That was really good. Where'd you learn to cook like that?"

"France."

"Yeah, whatever smartass."

He smiled. "My mom. She always said men need to learn how to cook. So she taught me and my brother and sister."

"I've never met your mom and I like her."

"Man you don't even know how to boil water."

"Still."

He stood up and walked over to the fridge, opening it. After a second he took his head out, holding two cans of beer. "Waters, want one?"

"Sure." She smiled and held her hands up as he tossed one to her, snatching it out of the air. "This a good idea? Didn't go great last time."

He chuckled. "Ah it'll be fine. Feliks?"

"Nah, I'm good thanks."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

Brenley closed the fridge and walked over to the table, cracking his open. "After all this shit I feel we deserve a drink."

Krupin raised his eyebrows. "I feel like after all this we deserve enough cocaine to pass out and die." They laughed at that and he glanced between them. "Last time? What happened last time?"

Brenley smiled as he took a sip. "We watched a pirated copy of the Dune remake in my classroom and got so drunk we completely forgot what the movie was like."

"Impressive."

"Hey so how is it being sickeningly rich? I always wondered what it would be like to have a stupid amount of money."

That made Krupin chuckle. "Better than having your bank account being in the negatives. Though, almost everything is better than that."

"Is it sad that that's relatable?" Nadia said.

"It's an essential college experience."

As they finished their drinks, Brenley went off to get some extra blankets and pillows which Krupin helped arrange on the couch. Then he headed off to bed, as he passed Nadia he lightly slapped her shoulder.

"Night."

"Night."

Nadia lay in bed for almost an hour, unable to sleep. Eventually she realized she was desperately needing a drink of water. The beer had made her mouth feel dry and brushing her teeth just made it worse. She folded off the duvet and stepped carefully into the living room, careful not to wake Krupin. She didn't have to worry, he was already awake. He sat on the couch in a white tee shirt and grey sweatpants. The light from the tv reflected in his eyes. It was on silent to not wake the others. He glanced up as she entered.

"Hey. Couldn't sleep?"

"That and I got thirsty." It was still really weird seeing him in front of her, just another person. She grabbed a glass and filled it with water. As she drank, she leaned against the kitchen counter, idly watching the tv. The subtitles were turned on so she could still read what was going on. It was some footage of orcas near two whales. The subtitles flashed up on the bottom of the screen.

The orcas close in.

Nadia placed her water down. "What are you watching?"

"Well, we don't have any connection to the outside so I have to content with whatever Elias has downloaded on his computer. Which is unsurprisingly mostly nature docs." He smiled. "Fuckin nerd." He glanced at her. "Wanna sit?"

"Uh, sure. Thanks."

He scooted over on the couch and grabbed his blanket off it, shoving it onto a chair. She sat next to him and set the glass on the table. In the program, one of the orcas managed to get the baby whale away from it's mother and bit it. Krupin grimaced. "Yeesh. Damnit. I was rooting for the little guy."

"Does anybody root for the orcas?"

"True. The worst is when it's like some lions who need to feed their cubs and are chasing down a baby buffalo or something. You don't know who to back then."

There was a slightly awkward silence and she glanced at his profile. Even in sweatpants, mussed up hair, and covered in bruises he was a pretty good looking guy. She always wondered why he was a bachelor. Didn't have to wonder about that particular fact anymore. She struggled to think of something to talk about. How do you make smalltalk with Time's person of the year?

"I can't believe you and Brenley worked together."

He smiled, resting his chin in his hand. "I love that you call him that. Brenley. I knew he'd be the one everyone just calls by their last name."

There was another silence as the documentary cut to some cliffs in iceland and began talking about arctic foxes. She glanced at the large bruise on his cheekbone. "You good? Those GIRA guys look like they did a number on your face."

He chuckled. "You should see the other guy."

"Did you punch one of them?"

"Oh no. I kinda just sat there while they apparently took their daddy issues out on my face."

She snorted.

"It's fine though. Not the first time I've been on the receiving end of shitty people's fucked up morals."

"Oh yeah didn't you almost get shot once?"

"Yup. And the amount of times white powder has been sent to the Vozmet offices is… ridiculous. It's always flour or something stupid but everything gets delayed while they check. All because people think I'm trying to be God."

She smiled. "Are you?"

He glanced at her, then smirked. "Fuck trying to be God. I know I'm better than him."

She laughed. "Don't let anyone religious hear you say that."

"Okay but if God is up there he thought it would be a good idea for cancer to be a thing? Starvation? I'm far from perfect but at least the only thing I'm trying to do for people is help them. Can't say that about my boy Jehovah. Also I don't really get how people can still believe in God when there's stuff like this planet, where we literally without a doubt, proved evolution."

"Well some people think God is a thing as well as evolution. Also, new wave religion."

"I don't mind the former, hate the latter."

What was nicknamed 'new wave' religion or new wave Christianity was a kind of splinter group that emerged in the space age and rapidly grew. It was set to prove that God still can exist even while humans created life and wormholes and time machines. Basically it said that humans do have the ability to use powers previously thought to be 'God exclusive' but when they do, they are going against the word of the lord and collaborating with the devil. It was a fairly strict form of the religion often associated with the religious right. Those who first started practicing it had come from evangelical backgrounds and carried along those values. And since humans started doing all these things, Christianity for the most part split into two factions, those who believed in God but also in the discoveries in science, and new wave.

They continued watching an arctic fox steal some eggs before Nadia spoke up. "I forget now, there's so many of these white supremacy groups. Is GIRA religious?"

He frowned, thinking about it. "I think they're atheist? Yeah… fairly sure. But like, the fucked up atheists who don't know science. Who think alpha males are a thing and being gay is not in any other species and vaccines cause autism."

"The type who don't actually look at actual scientific evidence."

"Exactly."

There was another pause and they simply watched the documentary for almost a minute in silence.

"You know, I went to a talk of yours once."

"Really? Which one?"

"Hillmont. It was maybe a year ago, you brought the rat? Blainn?"

"Oh yeah!" He smiled."Yeah I remember that. I was worried he'd pee on me. He's done that a few times. Did you like it?"

"Yeah it was really interesting. I actually, I had a question but the time ran out before I got to the mic."

"Well, you can ask now if you want."

"You were talking about like, 3D printing organs. Arms and stuff. And you said you kept them in an almost zero degrees fahrenheit broth to keep them cool but also give the cells nutrients."

"Yeah."

"But doesn't that just give nutrients to the outside cells? Or does it go into the veins?"

"If we're going with the arm example, we actually attach a small sort of artificial heart on the end of the main artery and vein. then just kind of build around it and continually move the heart thing back. It's annoying but otherwise it wouldn't work. Same thing with other organs. If that doesn't work, some organs it doesn't, we also just… poke holes in it. That way the broth gets into the capillaries."

"Scientific. Sticking a toothpick into a liver."

"If it's stupid but it works it ain't stupid."

"So you haven't gotten an organ working yet?"

"Not really. It's like when someone is brain dead. Everything works but, they're dead. We're having trouble with getting the nerves to work. By all means the arm is fine, you just wouldn't be able to do anything with it if you attached it. I think we're fairly close to getting it to work though."

"Huh."

They continued talking and watching the documentary for almost an hour before Nadia felt her eyes drooping. She grabbed her now empty glass and stood up. "I'm off to bed."

"Aright. Good night."

"Good night." She left him sitting there, dark shadows cast over him from the screen. She had a feeling he'd be there for a while, watching the sweeping footage of oceans and thinking, his eyes focused on something past the screen, giving them a vacant look.

Nadia didn't expect to almost instantly fall asleep but she was so tired that it happened practically as soon as her head hit the pillow. She had a desperate hope that everything would be fixed when she woke up. But she knew it wouldn't. When she woke, they'd still be trapped on this planet, probably facing imminent death, with no chance of help from anybody outside the solar system.


	5. Chapter 5

**13 hours earlier, about an hour outside of Arlington. Lincoln, Mars.**

"Morning Kristina." Brian said, looking up from his desk outside her office.

She nodded at him. "Morning Brian. Anything I need to know?" She pushed the door to her office and he followed her in.

"Um, those Japanese investors are coming in about 3-ish. They already have a car set up to come here and everything. I think Stella's going to give them a tour first then they'll come to you."

"Alright, good." She set her bag down at her desk and took her jacket off, hanging it on the back of her chair.

He handed her a stack of papers. "These are those numbers you asked accounting to run. And the stock as of today, good news on that part, oh and normally I'd give this to Elise to give to Feliks but…"

"But he's off on Nephelai."

"Yeah."

"What is it?"

He scanned the top of the paper. "Looks like some questions that the board had about some timeline stuff, when nerve creation is expected to finish and all that."

"Right. Give it to Carlos. And tell him to come to me before he responds."

"Alright, will do."

"Anything else?"

"So far no."

"Okay. Thank you Brian." He bobbed his head and left her office, leaving her to sit down at her desk. She sighed and turned on her computer. It was pretty much business as usual. It was a bit annoying not having Feliks around. She knew most of the science stuff, picked it up over the years, but he was the real mind behind that. That was the agreement when they started, he did science she did business. Now she had to rely on Carlos. He was a smart guy, good at his job, but she missed working side by side with her best friend.

Her eyes flicked over the report from accounting, then she got to work. About twenty minutes in, she took a very short break and relaxed back into her chair, staring at the wall.

The bright ringing of her phone jolted her to awareness. It's number on the screen displayed Brian's name. She clicked the button to answer it. "Hey Brian, what's up?"

"Umm I have someone from the CIA on the other line…"

She leaned forward in her chair, "The  _CIA?_  This better not be a legal thing."

"I don't know, didn't say what it was about. Just wanted to talk to you."

"Alright. Well, put them on."

"Yup, sure thing."

The line clicked and Kristina took a deep breath, "Hello, this is Kristina Mohren."

"Hello Ms. Mohren, I'm Jan Pearson, I'm with the CIA. We have some rather bad news. As you know Dr. Krupin is currently on Nephelai with the Eve program. We have just gotten reports in that GIRA has invaded and taken over the planet. They have taken all of the inhabitants hostage and set up a wormhole to prevent access. As far as we know no one has been hurt, including Dr. Krupin. We just wanted to inform you."

Kristina sat silently for a few seconds, the gravity of it hitting her, she might never see Feliks again.

"Ms. Mohren?"

"Yes, yes, sorry. Is there anything I can do?"

"Just let us know if he contacts you or anyone at Vozmet. They still have cell service on the planet. I'll send over my number. We will tell you when we get updates on the situation."

"Thank you. Uh, what should I tell the employees here?"

"You can tell them everything I tell you if you wish. The press will soon know about this so they'll probably find out either way."

"Okay, thank you."

"Thank you for your cooperation, I'll keep you updated. Goodbye Ms. Mohren."

"...Goodbye." The receiver clicked and Kristina stared blankly ahead. A soft rap came at the door and Brian stuck his head in,

"What was it? I mean the CIA? That sounds serious."

She looked up at him, her finger on the phone. "Feliks… Has been kidnapped. By GIRA."

His eyes shot open, "What?"

"Nephelai. GIRA has invaded Nephelai and taken everyone hostage."

"Shit, is he alright?"

"As far as we know yes. We're just… waiting on updates."

"Are you going to tell everyone?"

"Yeah," She sighed and rubbed her temple. "Yeah I will, just give me a second ok?"

"Okay. Sure thing. I'll make sure no one comes in."

She nodded slowly, looking to the side, "Thanks Brian."

He slowly closed the door as she sighed and tapped her pen against her desk. She spoke softly under her breath. " _Shit."_ She slammed the pen into the side of the desk, "Shit! Ohhh god. Fuck!" Her hands massaged her face as she put her head in them. "C'mon Fix, don't do this. Don't die on me." Her cell phone vibrated and she glanced at it, it was Feliks. She picked it up, his voice sounded tired.

"...Hey Kris."

"Fix?! Are you alright?"

"Yeah no I'm fine. Listen, there are a lot of things we need to talk about as far as the company goes."

"Feliks…"

"I don't know how long this cell signal will hold out. So we need to talk about Vozmet. It's the most important thing right now."

"Okay, yeah, go ahead."

"Right. Obviously if I don't make it back then you take control of the company. I'd want Carlos to take my place as kind of 'head scientist' whatever the hell you call it. But that's worst case scenario. For now, I want you to freeze all my accounts. they might try and get money and I don't want a terrorist organization to be able to get any money from me. You know my account numbers and stuff."

"All of them?"

"Yeah. All of them. If they ask for fingerprints or retinal scans get the CIA to help you. I'm sure they don't want GIRA getting any money either."

They talked for ages on what to do with the company. They worked so hard to make it a thing, and they hadn't thought about what would happen after they no longer ran it. Now it was all crashing into focus as there was a good possibility the brain behind it all might never come back. Eventually, they paused. Kristina sighed.

"Fix, they're going to try and use you to get money, I bet on it. Even if they can't get to your accounts. So don't- just do what they say okay? Don't be brave. Because I love you. You say I helped you but you helped me so much as well. I can't run this thing without you."

His voice was soft. "Yeah. I'll be careful."

"I'm serious. I need you to come back. I need you to be okay."

"I'll be fine Kris. Oh! I forgot to tell you! Elias is here!"

Fuck. She forgot about that. "Really? Is he okay?"

"Yeah! We talked. He- he regrets leaving. I don't know if we'll ever… get back together or whatever but at least now I know why he left."

"Fix… be careful okay? He left you once. I don't want you getting hurt again. I- I wouldn't even try to get back with him." She had thought the email was a good idea at the time. Since then, she realized it was a mistake.

He chuckled. "I'm almost forty Kris. I think at this point I know how to make decisions."

"Thirty-six is not close to forty you drama queen. I'm just saying that… in the past… you haven't dealt extremely well with what he did. Just don't- don't get your hopes up. In case he does something like that again." She tried to say it rather delicately.

"He won't."

"You thought that the first time around."

"Long story. We talked about it. Anyways I'm not even sure if we'll get back together. This situation is pretty fucked up. With GIRA and everything."

"Okay." She paused. "Fix… I hope you're gonna be okay up there."

"I don't want you to worry okay? From what I can tell, there's not much you can do. So- so don't worry over something you can't change. No matter what happens."

"I miss you."

"I miss you too."

There was a knock on the door and Brian stuck his head in, speaking softly. "Hey, there's some government guys here, they want to talk to Feliks."

She nodded and he left, closing the door. "Fix…" She said, sighing, "I think this is the last time we're gonna be able to talk for a while. There's some government guys, they wanna speak to you." She rubbed her brows. "Shit."

"It's okay Kris."

"God, why am I the one freaking out here? Why are you so calm?"

He chuckled slightly. "I dunno. Hasn't really hit me yet I guess."

"Will I bring them in?"

"Yeah. And again, don't worry."

"Can't promise that, I'll try though. Love you Fix."

"Love you. Now lemme talk to Agent Cooper and his boys."

She got up and walked over to the door, opening it. There were four white men in suits waiting by Brian's desk, never a good sign. She invited them in and they introduced themselves with four average, forgettable names. The only one she felt was worth remembering was agent Dave Coder. He seemed to be the leader of their little squad. She smiled slightly at how close Feliks was with his 'Agent Cooper' joke. They put Feliks onto video call and projected it up on a screen in one of the conference rooms. There they started to talk about how to get them out of there. The fairly quick consensus was, they couldn't. After a while, one of the men, she was pretty sure his name was Noah, leaned over to her, speaking softly.

"Ms. Mohren can I speak to you outside for a minute."

"Uh, yeah okay."

They stood up and made their way towards the door. On screen, Krupin noticed. "Kris where are you going?"

"I'm sorry Dr. Krupin I must borrow your president for a minute or so." Noah said, in a fake apologetic tone.

"Alright…"

"I'll be back Fix."

"Okay."

Kristina faced Noah as they left the room. God she hoped his name was Noah. "What do you need?"

He gave her a solemn look. "In the media… there have been some reports, of Dr. Krupin having a history of mental illness."

"And." Her face was unamused at his probing. Generally she had managed to drum up a sort of aura, to not piss her off. An aura she was personally very proud of. People probably thought she had a napoleon complex, making her want to be in charge. She didn't care she was short though, really she was just tired of people talking down to her because comparatively, she was pretty young to be this high in business, and a woman. And while she herself didn't care she a good six inches below most people, others definitely respected tall women more. In their eyes they were closer to men. She had just learned that if she showed she could be a pushover at all, no one would respect her. If that meant she had a napoleon complex so be it. Noah was definitely falling victim a bit as he stuttered slightly.

"W- we have to know if those reports have any base."

"Why."

"GIRA is going to target him. We don't know why they have taken all of these people hostage but him being included in the hostages was no coincidence. We have to know he won't… succumb to them."

"He won't."

"If he has a history of mental illness…"

"He won't."

Noah sighed, glancing to the side. "We're seizing his medical records."

"What? You can't do that!"

"Respectfully ma'am, we're the CIA. We most certainly can. He's already on the terrorist watch list."

"He is?"

"If he does in fact have a history of mental illness there is a chance he could be convinced by GIRA to join them."

Kristina stared. "You know  _nothing_ about him do you?! And you certainly don't know anything about mental illness! My taxes pay your salary! You should know that most terrorists and gunmen are in their right mind, they're just shitty people! Stop blaming everything on the mentally ill! Not that he is." She gave him a final glare before heading back towards the conference room. He stepped in front of her.

"I'm sorry, I can't let you go back in there."

" _What._ "

He shrunk back slightly under her biting tone. Good. "I'm sorry. What they're talking about to Dr. Krupin is highly confidential."

"So you just got me out here as a distraction? You were going to steal his medical records anyways!"

"We aren't stealing anything."

"That's invading his privacy! He at least deserves to know about it! I'm going to tell him."

She made for the door again and again Noah stopped her. "You can't go in."

She was on the verge of shoving him and charging in but she knew she'd be in deep shit if she did that. She took a deep breath. "Okay. Okay, I won't say anything. Can I please just say goodbye."

"I'm sorry-"

Kristina glared at Noah. "I'm not going to talk to him about anything important to you so get your head out of your ass and let me say goodbye to my best friend in the world because there's a good chance I'll never see him again!"

Noah stared at her, his jaw clenched. "Ma'am-"

"Don't 'ma'am' me! We established that there's nothing the government can do! I just want to say goodbye to him, am I allowed to do that?!"

The door creaked open and one of the men stuck his head out. "The connection got cut off. All connection. The satellites must have been turned off or destroyed."

Kristinas heart sank into her stomach. She glared daggers at Noah. "Happy now?" Noah said nothing as she swept past him into the conference room. Somewhere in the back of her mind she desperately hoped they were lying, that Feliks would still be on the call, with a stupid goofy smile. As she turned the corner she saw the screen.  _Connection lost._  Fuck.

Agent Coder approached her. "Ms. Mohren, do you mind if we set up in this conference room? We need to contact headquarters."

"Yeah, whatever." She left and went back to her office. Brian didn't say a word as she pushed the door in then locked it behind her. In the corner of her office was a window seat, she rarely used it. But now, she walked over and slumped onto it, laying back against the pillows. She sat there for a good twenty minutes, just staring out the window and thinking. Outside the window, the grounds of Vozmet spread out below her, wide lawns of grass dotted with trees. People walked along brick paths, some in groups or pairs, some alone. From the looks of it, they didn't know yet. Even if the press already caught on, they still probably wouldn't know. Who watches CNN at work? Eventually she got to her feet and went over to her computer, checking the news. Blaring headlines shouted at her from the screen.  _Hundreds of Hostages Taken On GIRA Planet, Including Feliks Krupin_. So they had found out. That meant people at the company weren't long to follow. Someone was bound to check the news on their phone soon enough. Once one did, it would spread like wildfire. She started composing an email, for when that inevitably happened. It was just an email, it should have taken her a few minutes at most. But she had no idea what to say. As she stared at the few lines she wrote after a good 45 minutes at least, a notification popped up. A message from Brian.

"Might want to see this…"

She opened the link and froze. It was a clip on the GIRA site, it had been posted only 2 minutes ago. Her cursor hovered over the triangular button in the center. The picture for the video was two masked men standing in front of a blank wall with the GIRA flags on either side. They had their guns pointed at a man kneeling with his hands tied behind his back and a bag on his head. The one on the right was the well known spokesperson for GIRA. He had some sort of pseudonym but the government had long since found out who he was and was trying to either capture or kill him. He was good at hiding though. He was the only one who didn't wear one of the red masks. She clicked play. The man on the right gestured with his gun.

"We are the Galactic Integrity Restoration Alliance. We are GIRA. We have seized this planet and taken hostages. Including…" He whipped the bag off the kneeling man's head, "Feliks Krupin."

Kristina took in a sharp breath. His face was bruised and bloody. One eye was swollen closed. A line of blood dripped from his nose. He let out a humorless laugh.

"Good job, you got my name correct."

The man slammed the butt of his rifle into the side of Krupin's face and he crumpled, the skin on his cheekbone split. He let out a pained grunt and struggled back to his knees.

"If you want him and the other four hundred people we have trapped here, we require three hundred billion dollars." Krupin gave him an incredulous look,

"What? Who even has that kind of money?"

He walked in front of the camera and slammed his boot into Krupin's stomach. Krupin doubled over in pain, hissing through his clenched teeth. The man leaned close to him, "Shut up or you get shot, smart ass."

Krupin smiled, a vein stood out in his temple as he gritted through the pain. "Hah, you wouldn't shoot me. Your threats have to have weight to work, idiot."

"I didn't say I'd use a bullet." Krupin's eyes widened as the man brought out a taser gun and aimed it at his chest. The two metal spikes pierced his skin and he jolted, the ligaments in his neck pressing like ropes up against his skin. Every muscle in his body tensed and he fell to the side, his back arcing with the current that pulsed through him. Kristina swallowed hard as he convulsed on the floor. Eventually the man released the trigger and Krupin collapsed to the floor, breathing heavily. His eyes looked listless as he prodded his gun into Krupin's shoulder.

"Get up." Krupin didn't move, he stared vacantly into the distance. "I said get up." Krupin looked at him slowly before struggling back to his knees, his head bowed. "You done talking now?" Krupin shot him a tired glare,

"Depends."

The man backhanded Krupin, hard. Krupin spat out a mouthful of blood and his jaw clenched.

"How about now?"

This time Krupin simply stared, a line of blood tracing it's way down his neck.

"Good." he turned back to the camera. "Three hundred billion. For the four hundred people we have hostage. Including Feliks Krupin. We will keep them alive until you provide the money." He smirked and poked Feliks in the cheek with the barrel of his gun. "We can't promise they'll be comfortable though."

The video switched to the GIRA flag before it shut off. Kristina stared at the blank screen, her heart sinking. She wished Feliks would just shut up and cooperate with them. She always knew his endless backtalk would get him into trouble someday. He had even  _told_  her he wouldn't disobey them. Stupid noble idiot.

She switched back to the email she had been writing. It wasn't great, but it would have to do, everyone would have seen that video. She sent it. It just explained that what had happened was true but they were to keep going without him and for now, at least at the headquarters, everyone besides upper level management should just go home for the day. They wouldn't be productive anyways.

Just as she sent that out she got a buzz from Brian. That poor man was having a busy day. She pressed the button to answer it.

"Yeah?"

"It's Carlos."

"Okay, let him in." Even though Kristina had a lock on her door, Brian could open it. She trusted him enough to not use that power unless she told him to.

The door opened and Carlos stepped in. He wore his lab coat but it was pushed back so he could put his hands in his pants pockets. His head was downcast. Carlos was a man in his mid fifties who had grown up in el salvador before moving to the US for college. He had been working at another of the major biotech companies before transferring to Vozmet when Feliks met him at a conference and they quickly became friends. He was clean shaven with short salt and pepper hair. Kristina leaned back in her chair, sighing.

"Hey."

He let out a long breath. "Kristina… what are we going to do." He still had a fairly strong accent despite having lived in the US for close to 40 years.

"I don't know."

"I can't take over for him." She hadn't told him Feliks' plans for the meanwhile, but he knew he was next in line to Feliks in the research department

"What are you talking about? You're a great scientist."

"You know he doesn't just do research! I may be able to do the science but he does so much more than that. He  _is_ Vozmet. Part of why people like him is because he built all this from scratch in his dorm!" He shook his head. "I'm nothing like him. I mean, the public barely even knows about me!"

"Carlos, he gave you his shares."

Carlos stilled. "What?"

"As of now, you are the temporary CEO. When he gets back, all you have to do is give the shares back and it will go back to normal. But for now, you have them."

She could see he was reeling slightly. "I… I own Vozmet?"

"Together we do. You have 30 percent, I have 25. Me and Feliks have never disagreed on a decision, so our shares work together. If it's a decision regarding science, he tells me how to vote. If it's regarding business, I tell him. If it's both then we, talk and figure out the best plan. If we had more time we could figure out a better way of doing this but as long as he holds the shares and he can't communicate with us, Vozmet is going nowhere. So our fix was to just, give them to you. Then you can give them back."

He smiled slightly. "Does this mean I'm rich?"

That made her chuckle. "Given that his share is worth 80 billion, yes. But don't you dare go liquidating that. Carlos this'll only be temporary. What Feliks would want, is not stagnation. He'd want us to keep going. He wouldn't have given you those shares if he hadn't. And, he'll come back. And when he does, we don't want him to see we've done nothing. That we can't function in his absence."

"And if he doesn't come back."

"He will."

"We just saw a video of him getting beaten up and tasered! The government can't get to them. Right now, I don't see how he  _can_ come back."

"We're just going to have to deal with this as it happens." She glanced away, her voice catching. "Fuck."

"Kris I'm really sorry. I know how much he means to you. I know you two have been friends for years. And I know you've been through some tough shit together."

She shook her head. "I thought were done with everything. I thought we finally had it all figured out. I'm worried about him Carlos. I mean, I'm worried about everyone there but they're gonna target him. And with his history… I don't know if he'll last."

"Hes stronger than you think."

"You haven't seen him like I have."

"But GIRA, they hate him! Have you ever seen him fold under someone who hates him? Anytime people say he can't do something he gets it done better and quicker just to prove them wrong. The only reason you've seen him like that is because he trusts you."

The intercom buzzed again and Brians voice came in. "It's the CIA again."

"Shit. Let them in." She looked at Carlos, smiling slightly. "How much trouble do you think I'd be in if as soon as they opened the door I yelled 'fuck off.'"

He chuckled. "Fair amount."

The door opened. Coder walked in followed by his little boyband. He glanced at Carlos, almost warily.

"Whatever you say to me you can say in front of him." Kristina said with a sigh.

Coder nodded curtly. "So I'm sure you saw that video by now."

"Unfortunately."

"Well we were just on the phone with our supervisors and we think that because you're so close to this it might be good for you to come to Washington while we figure out how the government's going to deal with this."

She glanced at Carlos who gave a tiny shrug, then looked back to Coder. "Washington? Like DC? Are you serious?"

"Yes. You know Dr. Krupin better than anybody. You can help us plan our next step."

She thought about it for a second before letting out a long breath and nodding. It would be easiest to make sure the government didn't royally fuck it up if she actually talked to them. "Okay. I'll come. I can arrange my own flights and everything."

"Okay. We have your number. We will call you along the way to set up a meeting. We have to get going."

"Right. Well it was nice to meet you Mr. Coder." She shook hands with him then all the other members of the beach boys. As they said their farewells Kristina spoke under her breath. " _Good riddance. Fuckwads."_ They all filed out the door, leaving her and Carlos. She looked at him.

"So. You want to come with me? I could use some help."

"I have to pick up Dan."

"Oh yeah, forgot about that. How is he?"

"Um, he's, I dunno. I know this situation is terrible but I don't want to leave him right now."

"Yeah. Yeah no I'll ask June." June was the senior vice president of Vozmet. A very nice woman who used to be in college with Kristina, though she was a few years older given she had been a mature student. "Listen. I know I asked the upper management to stay but why don't you just go home. The others are needed to figure out what we do next but whatever we do we're going to continue with the research. So you can just go home for the day."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Go be with your son."

"Thank you."

"And Carlos, you know that anything we can do to help your family we will."

He smiled slightly. "Yeah. I know. Thank you though." He turned and left, his lab coat slightly catching on the wind generated by opening the door.

Six hours later Kristina sat in a lavish meeting room, waiting for the president. She hadn't known she'd be talking to the actual president until someone let her into the room and told her Baker would be along in a few minutes. That was a fun discovery to make last minute.

The flights had been long. She and June had sat in silence for almost the entire duration. What was there to say? Now June waited in another room. Security reasons or some other bullshit.

She glanced at the portrait of Baker hung up on the wall. She was in her late forties with dark brown hair cut in the 'women in politics' style, almost like a bob. She wasn't the best president ever but she had some fairly good stances. Kristina had voted for her. Partly because she seemed like the best option and partly out of spite because of all the sexist comments she had gotten as a candidate. 'Baker would be better baking' uncreative Baker puns like that. Kristina glanced down, straightening her shirt. She certainly had not been expecting to meet the fucking president today so she had worn what she normally would to work, a jacket and slacks. But they were far from her best and her hair she had just done up in a messy bun as usual. She hadn't even considered she might be incredibly underdressed until she sat in this meeting room. After a few minutes, the door opened and Baker walked in. Kristina stood up quickly, flattening the wrinkles out of her pants.

Baker waved her hand dismissively. "Please, sit." Kristina cautiously sat back at the table and Baker sat across from her. "Thank you for coming here, means a lot to us."

"No problem Ms. President."

"You can just call me Elizabeth."

"Well you can call me Kristina. Why is it just you? Don't you usually have a security detail and… others?"

"Usually, yes. Told them to wait outside. I am going to have a meeting with some of the military chiefs and such later on but since I can't include you in that, I thought I might get your opinion first."

"Well thank you. For deciding to meet me at all." She glanced to the side. "When the CIA came to Vozmet… they said they were seizing Feliks' medical records. Did you know about that?"

"Yes. It was at the recommendation of the director of the CIA."

Kristina tried to keep her jaw from clenching.

Baker sighed. "I'm sorry. It's just a precaution. And we'll make sure that the media doesn't get them."

"I know him better than anyone. If he does something for them, it means that they forced him to."

"Forcing him to or not, I'm worried what they could get him to do."

Kristina nodded. "I agree. I've been thinking about it. And… I don't think him being there is a coincidence."

"He does have money."

"Not just for money. And, we froze his accounts. As of now, he doesn't have any money. But even if we hadn't done that, I don't think they really want him for his money. I mean, maybe as a bonus but, he knows how to make synthesizers. You know we've worked with the government so that only we know how to make them. Not many people at the company even know how to make one. But, he invented the damn things."

"How dangerous are the machines, the synthesizers? I know they can be, but not the specifics."

"Well, I'm no biologist but I've picked some stuff up over the years and long story short, very. For instance, the US has a tight hold on the last supplies of weapons grade anthrax. I think Russia has some as well? Anyways, it's not being used anytime soon. A synthesizer could fairly easily be altered to make it. Clones could be made, but altered, essentially editing humans to be better. There's a long list of ways you could screw up everything with this technology." She stuttered a bit after almost saying 'fuck' instead of 'screw'.

Baker nodded silently, thinking.

"I don't want to intrude on anything that might be, state secrets but do we have a plan for how to get them out of there?"

Baker sighed. "I don't know if we can do anything. We have tried and tried and there is no way to get in. And there's no way to take it down from the outside."

"Then talk with them! They want money, give them money." She was done being sickeningly polite to people from the government.

Baker gaped. "You want the US government to fork over 300 billion dollars? To a terrorist agency?"

"At least talk to them! Make them lower their ransom!"

"How."

"I don't know. You're the masterminds here. You must have some sort of plan."

Baker glanced to the side. "We can't do anything."

"Seriously? Paying them is better than nothing!"

"Where would we even get the money  _if_ we were even considering paying them."

"Start a kickstarter. I could probably give you… 50 billion. There, already down to 250."

"You'd be okay with giving a terrorist agency that much money? That's funding them to do even worse stuff."

"Every day that they're there the public is going to blame you, almost as much as GIRA."

"I'm sorry Kristina but how many times do I have to say that we cannot do anything."

"It doesn't matter! Everyone out there thinks there's a solution. They think  _they know_  the solution. Every idiot has plans to fix the world. And if you do nothing… you're proving you have less ideas than them."

Baker sighed, tapping the table. "The only thing we can think of doing is attacking GIRAs other bases. Primarily Leston."

"That happened a couple years ago. And it is still going on. How are you going to be able to do it better now? There's still people who live in that town. And GIRAs actual bases, no one knows where they are."

"You asked me for a plan! That's all I've got. Unless you want to propose a hostage exchange which… feel free to take the brunt of the nation's disapproval for that brilliant move. I think we're going to have to trust the hostages to come up with some sort of plan. Even just to contact us."

"This is… why can these things never be easy."

"Try being president."

Kristina smiled slightly, despite the situation. "Sorry for… that. This has just been stressful. Very stressful."

"I can only imagine. It's okay."

"What about the public? The families of the hostages?"

"Release a statement, for starters. Work from there. For now though I think we're going to station some ships around the wormhole."

"Probably a good idea."

They continued talking for a while before Baker had to go to her meeting. Kristina joined June and they left. June glanced at her, following her as she walked out towards the car. "What'd she say?"

"Basically there's nothing they can do."

"I'm sorry Kristina."

"It's okay." She took a deep breath and swung her jacket on over her shoulders. "Fucking hell. I need a drink. Or twelve."


	6. Chapter 6

Nadia sat at the edge of the boulder, swinging her legs and looking down off the cliff. Even with the SWIR turned on, it was so far down she couldn't see the bottom. The backs of her thighs felt cold as they rested against the freezing stone. She adjusted the edge of her scarf, tucking it in a bit, then answered a ring in her headphones.

"Hello?"

"Hey. It's James. I'll be out in a bit."

"Right. Take your time. I'm just freezing my ass off here."

"Too bad. Do you know who's coming with us?"

"No idea."

"Suppose they'll just show up."

"Yeah. Should I call my guy?"

"You haven't yet?"

"I wasn't sure! I will now though."

"Alright. I'll be right out."

"Kay." She hung up the call and pressed the button on her bracelet thing. Sput would probably be a few minutes, depending on where he was at the moment. She felt bad he was in the saddle the whole night. Her muscles creaked a bit as she stood up and went to stand against the cliff wall. When Heidi had asked for volunteers to go get graphite she almost immediately agreed to, as did James. They were set to go to another peak to get some with one of the geologists who had mapped the area. They all agreed to meet up outside the tunnel and it looked like she was the first to arrive. There was a noise behind her and James emerged from the tunnel. He had his normal dark brown coat on and his scarf was wrapped around his face. As he spoke his breath came out in a fog.

"Hey. I just pressed the button as well. Should be seeing a couple bigass bat dog horses in a second."

"Right."

He joined her and leaned against the rocks. "I feel like we could just get on them and leave. Leave all this shit behind."

"Yeah… I wish." They all agreed ditching the peak was a bad idea. There was no way to get off the planet and GIRA was better stocked and could probably just hunt them down. They'd have to be more sneaky.

She spotted something moving in the distance, coming closer. Nadia grinned as she recognized the massive black shape of Sputnik. He billowed his wings and landed in front of her with a slam. She reached out and stroked his nose as he pressed it into her hand.

"Hey buddy. I'm sorry about having to wear that saddle for so long."

James looked him over. "You know, I don't think I've ever seen him." He pressed his wrist button again, waiting for his own banshee, and relaxed back into the cliff wall. "I always imagine the harpies and banshees as having Russian accents."

Nadia laughed, "What?"

"Yeah!" He nodded at a harpy eating something on the ground, about a hundred meters away from them on a bit of cliff that jutted out. "I mean look at this guy." He went into a terrible Russian accent. "'HYELLO I AM BOIRD.'"

Nadia snorted, "Bird?"

"YIS BOIRD. I AM BIG HYAIRY BOIRD. I EAT SHYIT OFF DE GROUND BECAUSE I AM BOIRD."

Nadia bent over laughing, "Oh my  _god!_ " The harpy saw something and flew off. James grinned,

"I FLY OFF NOW. GYOODBYE. I GO TO OTHER BOIRDS."

Nadia laughed again and watched it fly away. "Why Russian?"

"You know what? I don't know. I mean, they kinda look like those Russian dogs, who are the ones?" He put his hands in front of his face like a long nose, "With the snoots."

She grinned, "The snoots?"

"Yeah! They're like, cloud snoot dogs."

"Borzois?"

"Borzois! Yeah they look a bit like large flying borzois."

"Well if you think they're Russian, you'll love what I named this guy." She stroked Sput's neck.

He smiled, "What?"

"Sputnik."

"Wait really?"

"Yeah!"

He laughed, "We have a similar thought process. Guess what mine's called. I'll give you a hint, snowball."

"Snowball? I have no idea."

"Trotsky." He said, grinning.

"Ohh, like animal farm." She paused, "Why on earth did you name him  _Trotsky?_? 'Oh look at this awesome alien. Let me name him after a Russian revolutionary.'"

"You shouldn't be talking. Russian satellite isn't much better than Russian revolutionary." He looked up as another banshee approached. This one was pure white and almost got lost in the fog. It stretched it's legs out and landed. James stood up, smiling. "And here he is."

Trotsky snaked his head around and sniffed Nadia. She held her hand up, then carefully stroked his nose. "So you named him Trotsky because he's white. And snowball is Trotsky."

"I mean… yeah. But it's better than just snowball."

"I'll give you that." Trotsky also had his saddle on. "Why is he saddled?"

"I was just putting it on when they arrived. So I left it on."

Trotsky sidled over to Sputnik and sniffed him. They began to circle each other, inspecting. Nadia and James stood back a bit, giving the massive predators space. Sputnik stretched his neck out, giving a harsh screech, which Trotsky returned. Nadia jolted at the loud noise and sudden display of teeth. "Are they… good?"

"Yeah probably. Banshees tend to yell at each other a bit." He gave a crooked grin and went back to the russian accent. "I yam a bettir Russian than you."

Nadia slipped into her own terrible accent. "Are you kyidding? I eat byears for breakfast. Puny boy." She bent down, trying to see under Trotsky's stomach. "He is a boy right?"

"Yeah but you wouldn't be able to see that way."

She stood back up. "Do they, not have genitals?"

"They do they're just internal. It's actually impossible to tell from the outside what gender they are."

"How do they tell?"

"They kind of don't. They mate for life but they don't actually know if the mate they chose is the same or different gender, until one spits out babies that is."

"Not a great system is it. I mean, that means only one third of the 'couples' are opposite sex."

"It's a bit higher, we think it's something to do with pheromones or something."

"So how do they… procreate, I guess."

James grimaced. "They kind of…" he held his hands up, as if not sure how to say it. "Mouth fuck."

" _What?_ " She said, laughing.

"Yeah. It's like, up there with the grossest thing I've ever seen. They stick their tongues down each other's throats and one transfers genetic material to the other. So we call the one that gives the material male, and the one that receives and then gives birth, female. And the only reason the female also sticks her tongue in is that if she doesn't, the male's tongue wouldn't fit."

Nadia stared at him with a grimace. "That sounds like hell."

"It is. I've seen it and I wanted to boil my eyes."

There was a slight noise behind them and they turned to see a woman in a sky blue jacket crawl out of the drainage hole. She stood up and dusted herself off before speaking in an almost sunny voice.

"Hi! I'm Cara!"

James reached out and shook her hand. "James. And this is Nadia." He gestured to her. Nadia also shook her hand. She wondered what Cara looked like, with the scarf and goggles she had no idea. Cara turned her attention towards the banshees which were still giving each other wary looks.

"Who are these?"

Nadia pointed them out. "Sputnik and Trotsky."

"This a communist theme or something?"

She laughed. "Pretty much. Wheres yours?"

Cara clicked the button on her wristband. "Should be here any second." She went back to the drainage pipe and pulled out a saddle, lugging it over to the edge. Soon a creamy banshee flew up and landed on the cliff edge. It had flecks of reddish brown covering it's legs and going up onto it's torso. It was now a bit crowded with the three squeezed onto the cliff. "This is Piper."

James glanced at the saddle Cara held then at the crowded landing. "Here, why don't me and Nadia take off so you can have room to saddle her."

"Yeah, sounds good."

Nadia crawled up onto Sputnik and squeezed the joysticks. He jolted forward and leapt into the air, closely followed by James and Trotsky. They started circling around the peak.

Nadia looked down at Sputnik's neck, watching the massive muscles bulge and stretch. "Hey, how much weight can the banshee's fly with?"

James laughed into his mic. "Are you asking because you just saw a banshee take off with a me?"

"No! I was asking because we need to bring a bunch of graphite back. You know, rocks."

"Oh. Right on. Um… I don't know. They can carry two people for quite a while so let's hazard, 350 pounds? Maybe? Though Trotsky has gotten used to my fat ass so I'm guessing he can carry a bit more."

"Surprising they can carry so much."

"Yeah."

They stayed below the clouds and around the back of the mountain. So far they hadn't seen any of the GIRA members. After a second, Cara finished up saddling Piper and took off. James and Nadia fell in behind them.

"So where are we going?" James asked.

"Peak 236. I don't think there's much there. It's the closest with a confirmed graphite deposit. I brought some bags we can attach to the saddles."

"Ah. Smart."

"Oh and I know you two already know this but keep an eye out for GIRA guys."

"Yeah." Nadia said. They flew silently for a bit. Nadia didn't know Cara that well so she muted her own mic to her and opened up a separate one with James. "So are you just in your normal room?"

"Yup. I did have a room to myself because when I came there were quite a few single rooms available but Mae's been sleeping on the couch since she was on a different peak. You?"

"Same. Except I have a nobel laureate sleeping on my couch. It's a bit surreal."

"Fuck really? Krupin's in your rooms?"

"Yuup. So far he's been super nice so like, I don't mind. It's still real weird though."

"He's there because of Brenley right?"

"Yeah."

"What's their deal? They start brawling first day and now they're back to being best buds."

"I uh… I don't know." She did know. "Man it's not like I can just walk up to them and go 'what's your deal?' That's not how people work James." They continued talking for a few minutes before Cara's voice came over the comms. "There's a Siren. Three o'clock."

James craned his head up. "Oh shit yeah. Nadia, steer clear of this thing. They're pretty aggressive. Very territorial. To the point where it seems just needlessly aggressive."

"Where is it?" She couldn't see it.

"There, hanging off the cliff."

It took a second for Nadia to find it, which was weird. The thing was  _huge._  It clung close to the cliff, wrapping it's head around a boulder, the lumps of it's wings and legs looked like part of the cliff. They were mottled grey and brown and white to fit in with the snowy rocks. As it spotted them, it peeled off the cliff and lept into the air, double wings billowing. Nadia's heart raced. Sputnik was big, bigger than a horse and as tall as Brenley at the shoulder. But this thing was monstrous. It's wingspan was double that of the banshees and each tooth looked a good four inches long. Nadia's stomach was in her throat as it circled around the peak, eyeing them.

"Are we okay?"

James responded. "I think so… I would be surprised if it went after three banshees at once."

"We might have a problem." It was Caras voice. "That's the peak with our graphite."

The siren banked and started heading off towards another peak. James rode Trotsky up higher to get a look. "Oh, it's off after some whales. We'll have some time. It'll probably go hunt them."

Cara led them to the side of the mountain that apparently had graphite. They flew down low enough for there to be no snow before the Banshees swooped in and slammed against the rocks, grabbing them with their claws. All three of the riders made pained noises as the wind was slightly knocked out of them. It wasn't the most comfortable position. Nadia hung off the saddle, gripping onto the front. Sputnik was almost completely vertical. He twisted his head around to look at her, some rocks crumbling as he shifted his hold on the cliff. It would be much easier if they could land but the only place with enough room to actually get off the banshees safely was up on the top of the peak. And it was impossible to get down to the graphite from there. Nadia stroked her hand up his nose. "Good boy sput."

Cara precariously hung off her saddle as she reached around and grabbed some bags from behind her. She leaned over and handed one to Nadia. "Here. Press the bar into the side of the cliff and click the button on the top."

The opening of the bag was shaped like a D with a metal bar on one side and a flexible rod on the other that held the cloth open. Nadia frowned and pressed it onto the cliff, clicking the button with a bit of trouble given her gloved fingers. There was a noise as two drill-like bits came out of the end of the rod and bored into the cliff, holding the bag there. It almost looked like a basketball net made of waterproof cloth at this point.

"That's cool."

"We use these to collect rock samples." She grabbed something else and handed it to Nadia, a small pickaxe. "Okay, just scrape the graphite into the bag. Don't fill it too full or you won't be able to get it back on the banshee. The graphite is in its ore form so just scrape a bunch of rocks in and we'll purify it later. It would be hard to get just graphite in."

So they started to work. It was cold and tiring. The angle they were at was terrible and the cool air leached in through their clothes, making their fingers and limbs sluggish. Nadia lost track of time as she pounded away at the deposits for ages on end. Why did she volunteer for this again? Honestly she had just wanted to get out of the building they had been confined to but now, thinking back on it, staying would have been much better. This was pretty much just hellish.

* * *

Krupin and Brenley stood in the lab with the vats for the graphene. They had been set up by Brenley and his team the other day. Each was a fairly good size, 2 feet by 3. They were filled with a nutritional broth that stimulated the cells to grow and make graphene. A lattice of pipes and tubes led into them to dispense the chemical signals they'd normally receive in a whale's body that told them to process the graphite, as well as dispensers for the graphite itself. Brenley leaned over and scooped a bit of the broth out, bringing it over to a microscope. Squinting down the sights, he recorded how many cells were in the sample. Krupin looked over the vats, his brows raised slightly. "I'm surprised you got this working Ellie."

"Came across the solution kinda by accident." He disposed of the sample and turned the microscope off then plucked his laptop off the counter and walked over to a chair, opening it up. Krupin watched him.

"What are you doing?"

"Recording data. Temperature, cell count, activity, pH, you know. If we get out of here it'll be good to know how to do this again. Make graphene that is."

"Mm." He crossed over and sat on the chair opposite him. "Where's your team?"

"Getting more supplies."

There was a pause, only broken by the tapping of keys one Brenley's laptop. The air was almost tense as they sat in silence. Eventually Krupin sighed.

"Ellie this is weird." Brenley looked at him and Krupin continued, "We haven't seen each other in almost a decade! And now, now it's like we were never together in the first place." He shifted awkwardly in his chair.

"Like we were never together? Fil, those were the best years of my  _life_." Slowly, he set his laptop to the side.

"Then why are we acting like we're just friends?! And not just in front of other people."

"It's a weird situation. I- I don't really know the next step from here."

They looked at each other for a few seconds and Krupin glanced down. "I suppose, the biggest question is, do we pick up from where we left off or…"

"Or break it off."

"Yeah."

Brenley shook his head. "I don't want to be the first to say one or the other."

"Neither do I." He glanced to the side as if thinking before curling one hand into a fist and placing it in the palm of the other. He presented both hands to Brenley. Brenley stared, his face breaking out into a smile.

"Seriously?"

"Why not?"

"We are not doing this over a game of rock paper scissors."

"You got any other ideas?"

Brenley sighed and put his hand in the rock paper scissors position. They spoke in unison. "Rock, paper, scissors, shoot." Brenley had rock, Krupin had scissors. Krupin swore.

"Aw shit."

"So? It's your decision. What do we do?"

Krupin sighed. "And if it's not what you want?"

"Then we'll talk it out. This isn't an end all decision. Just, getting it on the table."

"Okay…" He took a deep breath. "Pick up where we left off."

Brenley smiled, "Exactly what I was thinking."

"Oh thank fuck." They looked at each other for almost 4 full seconds. "I mean… now what?"

Brenley stood up. "Here, get up."

Krupin got up, "What?"

Brenley leaned over and kissed him, grabbing his lower back and pulling him closer. After a long moment they broke. Krupin wrapped his arms around him, they hugged and tears leaked out of Krupin's eyes.

"I missed you  _so much_ Ellie."

Brenley mumbled into his neck. "I missed you too."

They kissed again. Brenley put his hand on krupins jaw, pulling away slightly. He wiped away one of the tears with his thumb, "You're crying."

Krupin laughed, "Yeah, I am. I never thought I'd see you again."

"Well I saw your ugly mug fucking everywhere. Wasn't a worry for me."

"Ah fuck off." Krupin grabbed Brenley's lapels loosely. He spoke softly. "I know this is a shitty situation but, I am so fucking happy you're here."

Brenley grinned. "There's not many people you can talk about science with while simultaneously having sex."

Krupin snorted. "No not really."

"I honestly can't think of anything more nerdy than that. Like, you've got dungeons and dragons, then larping, then like… miles above that you've got figuring out biochem problems while fucking."

"I mean, you're not wrong." Krupin said, laughing. "However at least we're nerds who get some."

A smile played around Brenley's mouth. "Speaking of which…"

"Really? You don't want to, wait a little?"

"If you want to I'm fine with that."

"Maybe we should. We haven't seen each other in forever. It'll take a while to get back into the groove of things. Also we're in, you know, a  _hostage situation._ "

"Okay, we'll wait." He bent to kiss his forehead. The door started to creak open and they stepped quickly back to their seats. Heidi poked her head in, her face was twisted.

"I'm really sorry Feliks, that GIRA guy is asking for you again."

Krupin let out an exasperated breath. "Oh for fucks sake." He glanced at Brenley before nodding and following her out into the commons. The GIRA leader was standing there, surrounded by other members holding guns. He held a pistol to the head of a random hostage. As he saw Krupin he smiled and lowered the gun. "Ah good. Doctor, you are coming with us."

"Why."

"Because I'll shoot someone if you don't. That's why."

His eyes flicked around the others. They looked scared. "Okay. I'll go with you."

Brenley stared at him. "Feliks…"

"You heard him." He walked over to the leader and was flanked by two others, pointing their guns at him.

The leader smiled again. His face while not inherently weird or creepy, became completely unsettling when he smiled. There was something behind that smile. "Perfect. This way." He turned on his heel and walked off to another room. It was the same one they had filmed the first video in. It was a ways away from the other rooms, barely in the same building. One of the men closed and locked the door behind him. Krupin's heart sped up slightly. The only thing in the room was a camera in the corner and a lone metal chair in the center.

"Take a seat doctor." He hesitantly walked over and sat down. The leader pointed his gun directly at his forehead. "Tie him up."

Another man took some rope out of his pocket and walked behind him. When he touched Krupin's hands, Krupin yanked them away, glaring. The leader wiggled his gun slightly. "I wouldn't do that now."

"You won't kill me."

"I can still shoot you in the leg. Gonna hurt a hell of a lot more than a bit of rope around your wrists."

So Krupin just stared at him as the other man tied his wrists together and to the back of the chair. As the man finished up, the leader waved his hand dismissively. "Alright. I need to talk to the doctor alone for a second here."

The others filed out of the room, leaving Krupin and the leader to stare at each other. Eventually, the leader crossed his hands behind his back, first holstering his gun.

"Doc-tor Krupin. My my I'll be honest I never thought I'd meet you in person."

"It's a pleasure. So. What do I call you. Can't keep calling you Fucktard in my head."

"You've got a mouth don't you." he said, smirking slightly.

"Most humans own one."

"Clever. Well you can call me… John Smith."

"And you're calling me the clever one. Why do you want me now. Last time it was to shoot that little fun indie film. What is it today."

"Ah you'll see. Also the more pictures we send out of you bloody and bruised the more likely your government is to pay." He stepped forward and punched him in the face. Krupin shook his head and grimaced.

"Jesus. Do you get aroused from punching me or something?"

John punched him again, causing a cut on the bridge of his nose.

Krupin grinned. "Next person to punch me is gay."

John actually hesitated. Then he wound up and punched him yet again. Krupin wasn't looking great. He spat out blood. "You're never going to get the money. You know that right?"

John laughed. "Lord. For a supposed genius, you aren't very smart are you."

Krupin's face was almost blank. "This isn't about the money is it."

"Not at all. The US government would never give us 300 billion dollars. Even for you. I'm surprised you didn't figure this out before."

"Don't be. I thought you all were thick enough not to realize it."

There was a tense pause before he smiled. "There's that mouth again. You'll learn to shut up eventually."

"So then what are you doing this for."

"You. You know how to do things we want with your machines."

"What do want with them."

"We've done some research on what they can do. You've almost cracked limb regrowth right? That could be helpful in healing. That's a small stretch to prolonging life. You also know how to engineer say, bacteria. To target for instance, people with genes for high melanin production."

Realization washed over Krupins face and he clenched his jaw. "You're fucking  _sick._ "

"Do you think I give a shit what you think?"

"That's not an opinion you racist cunt."

John backhanded him across the face. Krupin's head whipped to the side and a red mark bloomed over his cheek. There was a pause before Krupin slowly turned his head back. "So I assume the whole 300 billion dollar thing is you lot being terrorists and, causing terror."

"I wouldn't say we're terrorists but, yes. People will get mad at their government for doing nothing and it'll show that we have the power. We call the shots. And no matter how valient your refusals to work with us are, everyone will just blame the government because they think we're doing this to you so that they'll pay. They're gonna hate us either way. But this way they also hate the government."

"Well I'd rather die than work for you."

"Oh I'm sure. But, we won't let you die. Dying is the easy way out. We're going to make your life  _hell."_ He leaned in. "And you just said yourself the government will never pay the money. Not that we'd release you if they did. So you're going to be here an awful long time my friend." There was a pause before he relaxed and smiled. "Are you just now realizing that we only invaded this planet because of you?"

Krupin ground his teeth together and stayed silent.

"That's right. All of these people? They would be free if not for you."

He still stayed silent. After a few long seconds of them staring at each other, Krupin glanced at the camera.

"What's the camera for."

"Oh, well, we're going to be filming these little sessions and putting them up on the internet."

"So what's stopping me from just, saying what's actually going on?"

"Nothing. Except of course that we'd shoot your friends if you did that." John sighed and glanced off to the side. "Well. Now you know the rules. I'll stop doing this to you if you cooperate with me."

"Will the others be let go if I agree."

"No. We need them."

"Well, I don't agree."

"That's what I thought. So I guess we're getting started." He walked over to the door and opened it. "Alright boys. Fun's starting."

The others filed in as John grabbed the red face cover he had placed beside the camera and slipped it on. One of the men was the GIRA spokesperson, Baptist. The general consensus by the public was that that was a stupid name. But, he stayed with it. Krupin had only seen him in videos. He was fairly tall with a short black beard and a shaved head. John turned the camera on and Baptist started his spiel. The whole 'we are GIRA give us money' kind of thing. As he finished, he stepped back and let John go in front of the camera. Krupin's eyes widened as he saw that John held a taser.

He grinned. "Enjoy this Dr. Krupin. And know that your government is letting you go through it" In a quick movement, he stepped forward and jabbed the taser into Krupin's neck and pressed the button. Krupin screamed.

* * *

Nadia shook her hands out, she could barely feel them. She glanced at Cara who was just visible behind a ledge a ways away from her. They all started out close to each other but soon moved as they found better places which were easier to chip away at or had more graphite. Nadia was tying up one of her bags and loading it onto the saddle when James' voice came in.

"Fuck guys I think I found out why that siren was being protective."

"Why?"

"Just found a cave with five babies. Not good for us, they don't often leave their babies completely alone for long. I don't know why it hasn't come back yet but it probably will soon.

Nadia adjusted her headphones. "Are they cute?"

"I mean… yeah. But they're like bear cubs. Adorable but it usually means mama is pissed and not far away."

"We should probably head out." Cara said. "I don't really know how much graphite we need but for now this should be enough."

"Probably a good idea." Nadia said. "Before we go, can I just see what the babies look like? Now I'm curious."

"I kinda want to see them as well. James, where are you?"

"East facing side, It's fairly easy to spot."

Nadia and Cara took off from the cliff and circled round. Trotsky was in fact easy to spot perched on a boulder. Luckily there was enough space for the other two banshees. They landed and Nadia clambered off the saddle. She had gotten used to the strain the saddles put on you but this work had been fairly backbreaking. James walked over from where he stood next to Trotsky.

"They're in there." He said, pointing at a cave opening.

Nadia and Cara peered in. Towards one wall there was a pile of furry bodies. They were only about the size of cats.

"Holy shit. They're adorable!"

"I love them." Cara said, laughing.

There were as he said, five of them. And they were fucking adorable. Their fur looked velvet soft and their eyes were too big for their heads.

"James how fucked would I be if I stole one."

"Very. Sirens are very good at tracking their babies. That's partly why we don't really have any domesticated ones. We can't get the babies without practically killing the mom. Also they don't really, agree to domestication."

Cara glanced back at the sky. "We should go. Don't want her coming back."

"Yeah." Nadia said. "James, you lead."

"Why me?"

"Because you're the  _strong capable man_."

Cara snorted as James sighed. She couldn't see but she could tell he was rolling his eyes. "Ugh. Fine though, I'll lead."

"Prefect." She got up in the saddle and pointed in the vague direction of the peak. "Home, James."

"I swear to god…" He took off and Nadia and Cara followed close behind him. Before she left, Nadia peered back into the cave. "Bye guys."

Lugging the graphite down the tunnel was not fun. They did finally get to see what Cara looked like though. Since GIRA arrived the heating had been jacked up so that you wouldn't have to wear the outer clothes indoors. After all, how much would they be going outside. People still kept their goggles on as a way of communications since the phone satellites were down. Cara unraveled her scarf and shook her hair out. She was probably in her late thirties with a youthful round face and a bob of strawberry blonde hair. Her face was red and flushed from the exertion, Nadia knew hers was as well.

They got the graphite to Brenley where he promptly set up what he called a 'grind session'. He gathered a few others around a table and rested his palms on it.

"Okay so the graphite needs to be in a very fine powder for this to work. Before this I was using scientific stuff. The stuff that comes in little vials n shit. We'll purify this later, for now just take one of these and start chipping off bits then grinding them into dust." He demonstrated by grabbing one of the little chisel tools set out and moving his hand up and down systematically. "If you get tired, take a break for a bit then go back to it. Gentlemen, I expect you lot to be able to do this longer, not because you're necessarily stronger but because you're used to this motion." There were some chuckles and James whispered to Nadia.

"Am I wrong or did your professor just make a masturbation joke."

"...Nope. Yeah that's, what he just did."

"Amazing."

So they set to work. Brenley didn't grind graphite, instead he went into a corner and sat up his computer, looking deeply concentrated. She glanced over at him once in a while. The only movement he made was to twirl his pencil in his hand for a bit before typing something. Eventually her arms got extremely tired, as she suspected. Letting out a long breath she set her stuff down and went over to join him in his corner.

"Watcha doing?"

He spoke without looking at her. "Trying to calculate how much graphite we need and how much we should put in how often. Stuff like that." He frowned at the computer screen, deep in concentration. The pencil made a light tapping noise as he spun it around and between his fingers absentmindedly. Nadia watched him for a second, caught up in the swirling motion of the pencil. He really did do it a lot.

"When did you learn to do that?"

He didn't look up from his computer, "Hmm?"

"The pencil thing, when'd you learn it?"

He glanced at the pencil then at her, "Oh, high school. Well, the french equivalent of high school. But I still learn new stuff with it." He resumed looking at the screen and his pencil resumed spinning.

"Why?" She knew talking about his pencil habit was probably the last thing on his mind but she was genuinely curious.

"Why what?"

"Why do you do it? I mean you do it all the time, in like class and stuff. Is it just a habit?"

He glanced at her, then at the others chipping away at the graphite. They were far enough away they wouldn't hear anything he said. "I… don't normally advertise this, especially to students because of the kind of negative connotations but fuck it, we've known each other long enough. Anyways you probably guessed given we share those rooms." He looked down for a second, turning his pencil over. "I've got Asperger's. You know, autism spectrum."

"Oh."

"Granted I'm on the low end, but…" He trailed off and shrugged. "I don't need it but it definitely helps to have some sort of stimulation when I concentrate or talk in front of crowds, stuff like that." He paused and gave the pencil a single spin. "I thought this might look better than nervously popping bubble wrap. Same with the coins. But yeah, if I don't do something with my hands I can get kind of on edge."

"Right..." Nadia suddenly felt bad for ever calling him 'batshit'.

"Yup. Asperger's sure is fun."

She glanced at his ring she knew he fidgeted with sometimes, he held his hand up and showed her.

"Yeah, I use this thing as well." He wiggled it off and passed it to her. It was broad and flat with eight tiny gears around the circumference. On the top and bottom two spinnable rings had teeth that interlocked with the gears. She twisted it and it made a soft clicking noise as the gears turned. She gave it back and he put it back on his finger before spinning it with his thumb.

"Feliks gave that to me ages ago. Sophomore year I think."

Nadia glanced down at her hands. "Sorry if I ever called you, that nickname." He had made vague hints in class and stuff that he knew people around the school called him Batshit Brenley.

"What, Batshit?" He smiled, "I don't give a shit about that. Don't worry. You know how blunt I can be. I would have called people the fuck out if I didn't like it. I mean it probably would have just made them call me it more but… I still would have done it."

"Out of interest, why don't you care? I mean, it seems kind of, derogatory."

At that point, he slightly set his computer to the side. When he did that you knew you were in for a legit conversation. "Honestly, I don't really know. I mean, when people use it as an, insult, then I don't like it. Like when someone fails a test and they say, ' _fucking batshit Brenley failed me._ ' Then they're using it to say any  _normal_ person wouldn't have failed me. He just did because he's crazy. But if you're using batshit as just kind of, a name, like not mean spirited, just 'hey this guy acts kinda funny sometimes' then I don't mind. Because yeah, I do act funny. And people bringing that up isn't wrong, in my mind at least. Basically if someone is using it in a derogatory way then I see it as derogatory. If they aren't then I don't." He glanced to the side. "Although in general, you should not call people with autism 'batshit'. Or any derivative of crazy. It can be very, uh, ableist. But to me at this point it's kind of like, reclaiming the word 'crazy'. Like I can call myself nigger or, batshit."

"But, I wouldn't even dream of saying that other word. Let alone calling someone that."

He snorted. "Good."

"So I feel like, it would be bad to call you batshit."

He shrugged. "It's your call. Call me it, don't call me it, just know that I don't care." The corner of his mouth quirked up. "And you'd know if I did."

There was a pause as he continued spinning his pencil, Nadia's eyes caught in the swirling motion. "I don't know if this is rude to ask but, is that why you can do math really fast? Or is that completely separate."

He smiled. "Savant syndrome. It's not common, but, somehow I ended up with it."

"Is that just, being really smart or what?"

"It's different for different people. Some people are really good at music or art or calendars. Like they would be able to tell what day of the week April 2nd 2002 was or something. For me, it's mainly hypercalculia which is a fancy name for 'math'. I can also memorize things, lists and stuff."

"Huh." There was a short silence as she stared into the distance, reevaluating everything she knew about him. In the back of her mind she had always been fairly sure he wasn't quite 'normal' in the head but it was weird hearing the conformation come out of his mouth. He smiled again.

"Everything making a lot more sense now?"

"Honestly? Yeah, kinda. Why don't you tell people?"

He shrugged. "What, come into class and say 'Hi I'm your autistic professor, Brenley.'"

"I mean, don't say it like  _that_ , but essentially yes."

"I dunno. Like I said, there are negative connotations. Sucks, but there are. Also I know for a fact that if I told everyone there would be some shitty people who then make fun of me. And being made fun of something you can't control, by people who  _know_  you can't control it, is a pretty shitty feeling. Somehow for me it's better when they make fun of me that they don't know."

"Yeah…"

"So anyways, that's why I'm kind of shit at social stuff. I get the basic rules, but it's like a language you've been learning for a bit. You still have to translate everything in your head as opposed to just understanding like native speakers."

"Well yeah, but you're not terrible at that stuff."

"But I'm not great."

She tilted her head and shrugged. "Does it really matter though?"

"It can. Not in any super significant way but just, subtly. Like when I was in college I couldn't get a job for the longest time and I think it was because I'd slightly fuck up the interviews. Not enough to seem like a bad candidate but enough for them to choose someone better at talking to people. I mean Feliks is a charming asshole. He got the first job he applied for."

She nodded slowly. "I guess quite a bit of our society is based around social interactions."

"Yeah no shit."

She snorted. "So wait. How does that math thing work? Like, does it just come to you?"

"Yeah kinda."

"Oh. Well that's less impressive! I thought you were like figuring that shit out! but you were just born with this fuckin superpower or whatever. It just  _comes_ to you."

He laughed. "Actually, yeah I agree. I always thought people made too much of a deal out of it."

"Okay but can you count cards. Because that would be impressive."

He laughed again. "Surprisingly yes."

"Wait really? I was joking!"

"Well, I can. I saw Rain Man when I was… thirteen. The next day I made my mom to get me a book on counting cards. Like, it's not something I was born able to do. I worked for a while to learn it. To be fair I probably picked it up faster than most would. I did make 2k one night though."

"Holy shit."

They were quiet for a second and he glanced at her before looking back down at his pencil, turning it over in his fingers again.

"Hey, thanks for putting up with my shit. I know I can be, hard to deal with sometimes."

"Are you kidding? You're like the best teacher I've had. So what if you're a bit too honest sometimes. You obviously love teaching and, it shows."

He smiled almost shyly before reaching out and lightly tapping her head with the eraser end of his pencil. "Sap." He glanced at the others grinding the stones. "Man you better get back to that! We wanna get out of here."

"My arms are tired! Anyways you should go do some. It was your idea."

He turned his computer around, showing her the screen. It was filled with notes and equations. She vaguely recognized one of the simpler ones. The rest could be in russian for all she knew. "Man you wanna do this shit? Because I would be happy to switch."

She squinted at the screen. "What the fuck. What. The. Fuck."

"Yeah."

She glanced around. "Where's Feliks?"

"He uh," He glanced down. "Those GIRA guys brought him into that room again. And they haven't let him out yet."

"Oh shit."

"Yeah."

"He'll be okay."

"Hopefully. Now get back to work son!"

She smiled, shaking her head, then got up and rejoined the others. As they worked, Heidi came in to see how it was going. She went over and talked to Brenley for a bit. As they did, the lights suddenly flickered and went out.

Brenley looked up. "The fuck?" He turned to Heidi. "Whats going on?" People were taking out their phones and turning the flashlights on.

"I don't know. They must have done something with the power."

He swore under his breath. " _Shit._  Please tell me there's a generator somewhere here."

"There is but it's where the normal generator is. And GIRA has set up camp there."

"Fuck."

"I'm sure they'll turn the power back on. They're using the same generator, they need power as well."

"It's not that. The cells, they are from the insides of whales. They can't survive the cold." He practically threw his laptop to the side and leapt to his feet. He started ordering people around, the sense of urgency in his voice making them jump to attention.

"Go get your blankets! Grab as many as you can and set them up over the vats. And get your outer clothes as well." He turned, "Nadia. Come with me."

He grabbed her hand and practically dragged her over to one of the storage rooms. He started loading stuff into her arms, copper wire, electrodes, tape. Once she couldn't hold any more he tugged a mini MRI used for examining the smaller animals and put it into a stack of large tupperwares before lifting it up. He struggled a bit with the weight. His voice was urgent.

"Okay, come on."

"Whats all this for?"

He spoke as they walked quickly back to the vats. "Generators."

They returned to the room and he quickly started putting stuff together. He got some of the electrical engineers as well after he explained his plan. Nadia had done a unit on electro magnetism while in his class so she joined in. They each got a tupperware and she followed Brenley's actions as he drilled a hole in each side of the container and started wrapping copper wire around it. After a few minutes of frantic assembly, Nadia noticed James walk up behind them.

"Can I help? What are you doing?"

Brenley spoke through his teeth as he tore a piece of tape with them. "Cells can't freeze. Making generators."

"You can make a generator in ten minutes?"

He grunted a vaguely yes response.

"Can I help?"

"Go grab me and Nadia's outer clothes." He reached in his pocket and grabbed a key to the room, tossing it to him. James caught it, surprised. He hesitated and Brenley turned, glaring. "Now!"

James started then turned and half jogged towards the door. Brenley shook his head as he started dismantling the MRI. "This better fucking work."

Eventually, they had five generators set up. The magnets from the MRI had been taped to a wooden dowel that got stuck through the holes that had been drilled. When the dowel was spun, the movement of the magnets relative to the copper wiring around the tupperware bin created an electric current. It certainly was no power plant in regards to how much current was created but it made some. And the five of them together just about powered a space heater. Not to it's full capacity but it did produce heat. As they were frantically hooking them all up, James returned with the clothes. Brenley glanced at the others in the room.

"Okay. This is going to sound weird but, we need to run these generators under the blankets. Including us, we have thirteen people. We have five generators so we'll just swap people out. And this is the weird part. Humans are heaters themselves. Thermodynamics says that we're trying to heat up the cold air around us. But we can't do that with these jackets and stuff on. So while you're running the generators, you need to take off your outer clothes." There were some shocked looks and he raised his hands. "I know what you're thinking and it's not that extreme. Just go down to whatever you're wearing under the jacket and stuff. Take off as much as you're willing to. Then when you get cold, switch with someone outside to put your outerwear back on and warm up. Got it? Okay, Nadia, James, me, you, and you. We'll go under first." He pointed out two of the others.

As Nadia sat under a blanket, illuminated only by the light from a cell phone, wearing just a tank top and long underwear pants, sitting next to her shirtless professor while spinning a wooden dowel in order to power a shitty space heater, she wondered what happened to her life. She glanced over at Brenley. She didn't realize before just how skinny he was before. She could count practically every rib. He didn't look like he was incredibly underfed but it did look like he was maybe only five pounds heavier than her. Due to this, he was starting to look pretty cold. While they were working their hardest, it was still freezing. Nephelai almost never got above 0 degrees fahrenheit and the temperature was starting to really leak in. He put his hands over his mouth and breathed into them, shivering violently. Nadia glanced at him.

"You should let someone else shift in Brenley."

James nodded. He had opted to stay with a short sleeve shirt on. "Yeah, you're looking cold."

"Okay… yeah okay." He slapped Nadia's shoulder slightly. "Keep it up." Then crawled out from under the blanket. After a bit, someone else joined in. Nadia shifted out as well after five minutes, her fingers were slipping off the dowel and she could barely feel them. Outside the blanket was even colder and Brenley quickly passed her her coat and she slipped it on, rubbing her arms.

"Holy shit. It's cold."

"Yeah." He looked worried.

It was almost two hours before the lights flickered back on. Naida went under the blankets four separate times in those two hours. Her arms were getting exhausted. Grinding the graphite down earlier had not helped matters. As the power finally came back, there was a whirring noise as the heating vents booted up and the light on the heating system to the vats glowed red. Everyone let out a sigh of relief. Brenley pulled the blankets back off one of the vats and leaned over it, checking the thermometer in it. His face screwed up ever so slightly and he reached his hand out. "Slide."

One of the women on Brenley's team, Diane, handed him a microscope slide and an eye dropper. He took a drop out and put it on the slide, walking over and turning one of the microscopes on. A tense silence hung in the air as he adjusted the focus. After a few long seconds he looked up from the microscope with a massive grin. "Yeah, most are still alive." Relieved sighs again swept through the others and he smiled. "Yeah. Good job everyone. You all can go back to what you were doing. And we're probably good for graphite for now, so no need to return to that."

People slapped each other's shoulders and congratulated each other before filing out of the room. Brenley's team stayed behind, as did Nadia and James. He glanced at Nadia. "You two don't need to stay here."

"Okay. See you around."

"See you."

She left and James followed her. "Well, that's a relief." She said, glancing back at him.

"Yeah. No kidding. I thought we were royally fucked back there."

As they left, Brenley's smile dropped and he slowly took the slide off the stage and threw it away. Marlene looked at him, the rest of team standing around her. "It didn't work, did it."

Brenley shook his head. "No. It didn't. They're all dead" He slowly got to his feet and walked over to the vats. The sound of his footprints was the only thing that pierced the silence as he walked down the line, flicking the vats off, one by one.

Krupin found Brenley sitting by himself next to the vats. The team had since left and Krupin had just gotten a fresh application of bandages from Scott. He sat down next to him.

Brenley glanced over. "Are you okay? You were in there a long time."

"I'm fine. After the power cut off they were trying to figure out what happened and they just kept me there, didn't actually do much while it was off."

"Did they figure out what happened? Why didn't they turn the generator on?"

"No fuel. Or at least that's what I heard. I don't know enough about generators to know why ship fuel or something wouldn't work."

"What did happen?"

"I don't actually know. Some malfunction. I heard you rustled up some small generators to keep the cells alive, good job."

He shook his head slowly. "It didn't work."

"What?"

"It didn't work. I fucked up and it didn't work."

"So we're stuck here."

"Unless the government decides to pay. And that's never gonna happen."

Krupin nodded. "Yeah. Unless the government decides to pay." His jaw clenched and he stared into the distance. All of the sudden he slammed his fist on the table. "FUCK!"

"Feliks… I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault, it's those  _fucking_ fascist assholes!"

"But the cells, they're my fault."

Krupin shook his head, staring away. "You did everything you could."

"No. I was too focused on saving the whole population of cells. All I had to do was take a few of them and like… put them in a petri dish in my jacket. It would have made us start all over but at least then we could have started all over. I fucked up." He angrily took his pencil by the eraser and hurled it across the room. "I  _fucked up_!"

Krupin glanced at where the pencil had landed, then looked back to Brenley as he bent his head and ran his hands over his hair. "We'll figure something out."

"Well what can we do? We can't just get new cells from the whales! They're protected by a layer of graphene, that's the whole point! We need specialized cutters to get to them."

"And those aren't on other peaks?"

"They're expensive. We only have one. And it's held in that room GIRA took over."

Krupin nodded slowly, thinking. He suddenly tilted his head and unclipped his watch from his wrist. Brenley looked up in surprise as he handed it to him.

"You- you still have this?"

"Yeah."

Brenley stared at the watch, turning it over in his fingers. "You think we could do it?"

"Yeah, we'll need some more stuff so it'll take a bit longer, but yeah. We still have the dead cells. They don't need to be alive to get their DNA."

He grinned and handed the watch back. "Your sentimentality may have saved us Feliks."

"Bitch it's not just sentimentality! It's security!"

"Sure."

He put the watch back on. "We'll get off this shit planet okay?"

"Yeah, okay."

That night, after Nadia went to bed, Krupin quietly got off the couch and moved to Brenley's room. He whispered.

"Ellie."

Brenley woke slightly and mumbled. "What."

"Can I sleep here."

That made him wake up. He raised his head off the pillow slightly.

"I can take the couch if you want, I don't mind." Krupin said.

"No no, It's okay. You can sleep here."

"Okay. Thanks."

He crawled into bed and Brenley shifted closer, placing his arm over Krupin's chest. "This'll be nice actually. I was getting cold."

"Bitch I'm not your personal hot water bottle."

"Yes you are. Anyways now you woke me up so I need your waterbottlyness to go back to sleep."

"Sure you do." He adjusted his head on the pillow. "Mm. I forgot how good your pillowcases always feel."

"I'm tellin' you, satins the best."

They continued idly talking for a bit before there was a brief silence. Krupin took a deep breath, staring at the ceiling.

"Ellie… we- we have to talk about what happened. When you left."

Brenley glanced down. "What's there to talk about. We both fucked up. We acknowledged that."

"I know. It's just, I have to know you won't do that again. That you won't just… bail when it gets hard. I really want this to work," He sighed. "But if you're going to do that again, it isn't. Because, that was the biggest one but, you've bailed before. When we were going to tell your parents and you just, disappeared. Or- or when Teresa died. I needed you and you just, left. I know you have trouble dealing with grief but, you didn't need to be perfect. You just needed to be there. And you weren't. If we're going to do this, you can't do that. Just thinking about what our life might be like if we get back, there's so many opportunities and reasons for you to bail. But, you can't. At least without telling me."

Brenley nodded slowly. "I know. I've always had trouble facing my problems. I've been working on it. Every time something stressful happens, I get scared and my brain just tells me to… leave. In the back of my mind I know it will just make it worse but, sometimes it's so hard not to do that."

"All you have to do is talk to me. If we're somewhere you don't want to be or something is making you stressed, just tell me. I'll try and help. And if that means both of us leaving then, so be it. But you can't just abandon me and expect me to fix everything. Those situations that make you feel stressed, it might be worse for you, but it's certainly no cakewalk for me."

"I'm sorry. I'll do that in the future." There was a silence for a few long seconds before he smiled. "So. Any other glaring problems with my personality you want to address?"

Krupin snorted. "You need to stop wearing zip up hoodies over dress shirts, it's a bad look Elias."

"Man I have to wear dress shirts! It's the job! What am I supposed to do if I get cold? Put on more dress shirts? Michelin man it up?"

"There's other sweaters that work with button ups! Just not fuckin hoodies you weirdo. Get a… cardigan or something."

"A  _cardigan._  Who the fuck uses that word anymore? You gay piece of shit."

"Plenty of people use the word cardigan! That's why it's a word!"

"Mm. Well anyways, I have better fashion than you fucker, so you don't get to talk about what I wear when I want to be warm n' shit."

"What are you talking about? You wear fucking band shirts!"

"When I'm being lazy, yes. Not all the time. You, however have one look and that's a tee shirt and jeans. So all of your opinions on fashion are invalid."

"Who in this room often wears armani suits…"

"Who in this room can afford a fucking armani suit."

"Excuses." He glanced down smiling, but after a few seconds it dropped. "But, seriously, is there anything you want to tell me? Because, now is the time to do it. You know, we gotta, set expectations or whatever."

"Umm… you probably know this but, I'm not great at expressing what I'm feeling. But, at this point I know my limits. If I say 'I can't do this' or 'I have to go' then that means, I can't do it. Full stop. If I say 'I don't know if I can do this' that means there's wiggle room. It takes a lot for me to admit I can't do something. So… if I say that, just… please don't try to convince me I can. It means that I'm already at the end of my thread."

"Did I do that before?"

"Yeah. A bit. I know sometimes you would be able to convince me I was able to but, I'm not in my twenties anymore. I know myself better."

"Okay. Yeah, okay." He paused, "Ellie, you're just like I remember. I don't know how I lasted this long without you."

"I'm so sorry."

"It's okay. Like you said, we both fucked up."

There was a short silence which Brenley eventually broke. "Hey when we get back can I get a lamborghini?"

"No."

"Fuck you."

The next day, Brenley pulled Nadia aside to some chairs and sat down across from her.

"Hey listen. I should tell you something."

Nadia tipped her head to the side, "I know, Brenley." Thank god  _he_ was telling her, that way she didn't have to initiate the awkward reverse coming out conversation.

"What?"

"I already know."

He squinted. "Know what? There is literally no way you could know about what I'm talking about."

Nadia's heart skipped a beat. "We… aren't talking about the same thing are we."

"I doubt it. It's about an escape plan."

"Oh."

His face was expressionless. "What did you think I was talking about."

She swallowed. "Um. You and Krupin."

Brenley stared at her for a tiny bit too long. "What about me and Krupin."

"Well… I don't know if I should say it now."

"Say it. Either it's true or it's not and I can tell you which."

Nadia hesitated. "I… I know you two are together. Or, used to be."

He bit his lip and took a deep breath, looking at her, taking a couple seconds to respond. "Have you told anyone. James?"

"What? No!" she gave a faint smile, "I'm not that much of a dick."

Brenley stroked his hair awkwardly. "Good." he said it more to himself than to Nadia. He stopped moving and looked to her suddenly. "Wait." his brows pulled themselves together. "How the  _hell_  did you find out?"

Nadia looked down, "I overheard you guys talking." He glared and she put her hands up defensively. "The walls are thin! You should be careful."

"I bet you stayed after Heidi left that first day. To listen in." Brenley sensed her slight hesitation and his eyes went wide. "You did! You cheeky fucker."

"In my defence, I thought you were going to talk about science stuff. By the time I realized, the cat was, kinda out of the bag. I didn't stay long."

"Science stuff? 'Oh hey Feliks, haven't seen you in nine years, let's talk about  _science._ ' Because that's what humans do."

"I mean… if you were just research partners that probably would've happened. I didn't even think you were like, close friends, ya know, given that you punched him."

He glanced to the side, "God I feel terrible about that."

"Did you, talk to him about it?"

"Well, yeah. He said it's fine but… still. It was a shitty thing to do."

She nodded slowly. "Well good job."

"On punching him?"

"No, just… him. He's pretty hot."

He let out a surprised laugh and blushed. She didn't think she'd ever seen him blush before. His eyes flicked downward as a happy smile spread over his face. "Yeah. He is."

"So are you two…?"

"Together again?" He said, finishing her thought.

"Yeah."

Another smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. "Yeah. We are. Bit rocky at first but it just took some, reconnecting."

She grimaced. "Eugh."

"Not like that! Jesus get your mind out of the gutter, pervert. We just talked. Good  _lord._ "

"Ah. that makes more sense." They sat for a few seconds, Brenley started fiddling with his goggles. Nadia took a deep breath and looked up. "I don't really get why they criminalized being gay. I mean, it's not exactly a choice is it."

Brenley rolled his eyes. "Don't get me started. It was all because of that stupid new wave of religion. Coupled with the increase in social conservatism led to criminalization of 'sexually dangerous activities'. Because  _naturally_  if you're gay you have AIDS. Used to be legal to get married. But of course liberalism comes in waves unfortunately. It just, sucks. And it's not like there's a huge population or whatever. I know Feliks and like, a few others and that's it. Everyone else is either hiding it or in jail. Honestly I'm so lucky he isn't a dick."

Nadia paused before smiling, "So when you said 'everyone in France is gay'..."

He chuckled, "Yes. I was including myself."

"Why didn't you stay in France then? Because, if you came over for college and the law was put into place when you were…" She counted the years in her head, trying to remember how long the law had been in place.

"Twelve. It was put in when I was twelve." He glanced to the side. "I don't know. I wanted to go to school in America but I thought that I would go back to France afterwards. Decided I could put relationships on the backburner for a few years. Didn't plan to meet Feliks and spend eleven years making a single stem cell. Then, afterwards… I toyed with the idea of going back to Beauvoir. And was actually going to do it after staying in Roosevelt for a year. Or go to L'ouverture. Then I got a job at Rutherford. So I stayed. Turns out it's not incredibly hard to hide from the ol' fuzz. You practically have to be in a speedo with rainbow bodypaint before someone makes a hesitant guess that  _maybe_ you aren't straight."

"Fuck that's an image."

"Indeed."

She glanced to the side. "Okay so I'm guessing that wasn't what you were going to tell me."

"Yeah no. I was not going to tell you that. Why would I tell you that? After not coming out to anyone in my entire life why would I come out to a student?"

"Well, I didn't know that!"

"Anyways. When we tried to save the cells from freezing, it didn't work. They died."

"What?"

"Don't worry. We have a plan. It's gonna take longer but it is a plan."


	7. Chapter 7

**Late September**

Nadia unloaded the clip and checked how many shells were in it before shoving it back in, pulling the slide back and loading one into the chamber. She held it out front, squinting down the sights. Shots echoed off the mountain peaks as she fired three times rapidly into a boulder a ways away. Next to her, Brenley and Heidi flinched, holding their hands over their ears. As she lowered the gun, Brenley stared at the boulder. "Fucking hell Waters. Where did you learn how to shoot a gun?"

Turns out the hostages had one gun. They had actually found it on another peak. There used to be some security measures on the planet, including a few guards who had guns. A lot of good that did. They had only found the one with a few boxes of shells. Until they had more, it was pretty much useless. Also turned out in the population of 400 primarily left wing scientists not a single one knew what to do with a gun. Except Nadia.

She flicked the safety on. "I have three older brothers."

"Really?"

"No, idiot! I'm an only child. Lord, I'm not that bad."

"Oh, right."

"No my uh, my dad likes to hunt. We'd always eat the deer and stuff so it wasn't just useless. I don't actually have much experience with handguns. I've only fired one a couple times at a gun range. We were testing out a rifle we were thinking of buying and decided to see what shooting a handgun was like."

Brenley walked forward a bit, squinting at the boulder. "Pretty good for only shooting one a couple of times."

Heidi nodded slowly. "Yeah… Nadia you should keep that."

" _Keep_ it?"

"Yeah. Obviously anyone else would be a way worse shot and the GIRA guys probably wouldn't expect you if they found out one of us had a gun. Just make sure it's well hidden."

"Okay… yeah."

They started walking back towards their mounts as they had come to a different peak to try the gun out. Brenley mused out loud as they walked.

"So, we either need to find a way into their storage room or we need to make weapons. Which, I'll be honest, shouldn't be too hard. We have 3d printers as well as the same amount of chemicals you'd find in like… a nuclear power plant. I can already think of some things to make. But, then what do we do? Just, fight?"

"Somehow, we need to contact the outside world." Heidi said "And since light can get through the barrier, I've asked some of the electrical engineers to see what they can do. They think they can make some form of rudimentary phone. That way we can have ships waiting for us when the barrier goes down. But, the barrier is around the whole solar system. We need our own ship to get everyone off. Which luckily, we have. On a separate peak."

"Do we have someone to fly it?"

"We have one ship engineer. Tavis. Most of the engineers were taken for the beyersdorf but he was left because he just does ship stuff. He knows how to fly."

Nadia checked yet again that the safety was on before storing the gun in her jacket and getting on Sputnik. "But if we contact someone outside, wouldn't we risk GIRA intercepting the signal? They have a lot of equipment."

"Yeah. We'll have to figure that out when we come to it. For now I don't even know if a phone can be built. We'll have to ask when we get back." Heidi glanced around. "Alright, ready?" They both nodded. "Okay, let's head back. It's starting to get dark."

One by one, the massive animals pushed off the peak and lept into the air.

* * *

Krupin glanced at his hands as Scott inspected the wound on his ear. John had been bringing him into the room every day, filming everything, all the while telling him that as long as he agreed to work for them, he'd stop. He was starting to get creative. Yesterday, he had beaten him over the back with a broomstick, and today he had fun with his belt. So far nothing had been crippling. The worst was some bruises and cuts, but goddamn they hurt. Scott squinted at his ear. "Yeah… this is gonna leave a scar."

"Fun."

"The cartilage itself got, ripped."

"So that's why it hurts like hell."

"I'm sure they won't keep doing this every day. They'll probably start doing it every few days or so."

"Hopefully."

Scott started patching it up silently. Krupin took a deep breath. "Hey so Heidi said at the beginning to contact you if we had any prescription medications. I didn't want to do it the normal way because, I'm kinda, well known."

"Yeah yeah no problem. What do you need?"

"Um. Well… Prozac."

Scott paused for a second before returning to his work. "Sure, I think we have some. How much do you have left?"

"About a week."

"Alright. Next time you're here I'll have some."

"Okay, thanks."

"Yeah don't worry."

It took a few more minutes of bandaging and stitching before Scott patted Krupin's shoulder. "Alright. You're all good."

"Thanks Scott."

"No problem."

He stood up and left, cautiously feeling the bandages over his face. Brenley was waiting for him outside the door.

"You good?"

"Yeah."

"Really? And I don't just mean physically. They've been bringing you in there a lot."

"I'm fine Ellie." They started walking back towards the rooms. It was pretty late anyways, they could work more tomorrow.

"Okay, well, don't be afraid to tell me-" As they walked past a service closet, Krupin opened it suddenly and pulled him in. "Woah, Feliks-"

He closed the door behind him and grabbed Brenley's face, pressing him against the wall as he kissed him. He broke away after a second and grinned. "I'm fine babe."

"I see that…" He kissed him back, almost hungrily. Krupin pulled away.

"Jesus christ boy we are not doing this in a fucking cleaning closet."

"I feel like being in the closet is kinda apt."

"Fucking hell. You're the worst. Anyways, I've had sex in a closet before, it's pretty uncomfortable."

"You have?"

"Long story. But we are  _definitely_ going back to the rooms."

"Alright. Fine with me."

They discreetly left the closet and headed back towards the rooms. Brenley glanced to the side as they got there. "I have to go to the bathroom."

"Alright. I have to get ready anyways."

"Right. I'll be in the room when I'm done." He headed off towards the bathroom as Krupin went for the one that jutted off their room.

As Brenley got out of the bathroom he noticed Nadia had come back and was sitting at the kitchen table.

She looked up as he suddenly passed her. He did a little dance in place and said in a sing song voice " _Guess whos gonna get luuuucky."_

She grimaced. "Oh God."

He stopped dancing and pointed at her as he walked backwards towards the door. "I realize I probably shouldn't have said that since you're my student but it already came out of my mouth so apologies." With that he closed the door behind him, only to open it again and stick his head out. "Also if you don't want to be more creeped out I'd suggest hanging out somewhere else."

She hastily grabbed her stuff off the table. "Yup! Understood!"

When Krupin was done in the bathroom he walked out and was met by Brenley grabbing his face and kissing him. They embraced, pressing together. After a few long seconds they broke, Krupin glanced up,

"Ellie-"

Brenley stopped him with another kiss. He put a hand along his jaw. "Feliks. I need you to shut the hell up ok? I haven't had sex in ages. Which is tragic." He pushed him onto the sheets. Krupin grinned and scrambled higher on the bed. He started to unbutton his shirt. Brenley crawled up to him, he grabbed his hands and took them away from the buttons, doing them himself. The last one proved difficult, it had caught on a thread.

He mumbled, "Fucking hell." Then gripped the cloth and jerked his hands in a sudden movement, ripping it off. Krupin laughed,

"Fucker I don't have many shirts with me. You're going to have to sew that back on."

Brenley pressed his face into Krupin's neck. "Mmph. I'll do that later." He reached down and grabbed his own shirt, pulling it off over his head before grinning and bending back down to him.

Nadia meanwhile, was sitting in the commons. She would have preferred to stay in the rooms but that would probably be highly disturbing. She spotted James and Mae sitting by a table and went over to them.

"Hey. How are you lot."

James shrugged. "We're good. Oh, I heard you got a fuckin  _gun_."

Mae glanced between them. "Wait, you did?"

"Yup. I mean, we can't really do much with it yet. But, I was the only one who knew how to use it."

"Badass." James said, smiling slightly.

She felt herself blush. Why did she have to blush so goddamn easily. "I suppose."

"No, it is. I mean, I'm normally all for gun control but we're gonna need people who actually know how to fuck Nazis up so… it's badass."

"Well all I've done so far is fuck a boulder up."

"Was it a racist boulder?"

She glanced to the side. "Sure."

"So how's the work going?" Mae asked.

"Oh, y'know, long. How are you guys passing the time?"

James shrugged. "There's not much to do. I mean, we've been helping with the food rationing and all that sort of housekeeping stuff. Speaking of which I gotta go in a couple minutes here. Anyways, I didn't prepare for this long without internet. There is  _nothin_ to do."

"Yeah, I know that feel. Brenley brought some books and movies so I've been working through those."

"Ooh nice. We should have a movie night or something."

"Actually yeah, that would be pretty fun. Take everyone's minds off the racist assholes."

"Exactly."

They continued chatting for a bit before James had to leave to go do whatever it was he had to do, leaving Nadia and Mae sitting together. She glanced at Mae's outfit. She wore a simple blue dress that was very flattering. Nadia gestured. "I really like your dress, it looks good on you."

Mae smiled and glanced down, smoothing the wrinkles out. "Thanks! Yeah I didn't expect I'd get to wear it much but now with the heating up…"

"Yeah the coats and scarves aren't exactly what one would consider 'sexy'."

Mae chuckled. "And my dress is?"

"Well, yeah." It came out much more sincere than she thought it would, almost flirty.

Mae glanced to the side. "Nadia I… I'm-"

Nadia shook her head. "No no! That just came out weird." She felt herself blush at the reaction.

"Oh. Sorry if I, assumed."

"It's okay."

Mae nodded slowly and looked down. "You know Brenley fairly well right?"

"Yeah, fairly well."

"He's a chemical engineer right?"

"Yeah. Well, he has a PHD in it at least."

"Okay… How, open is he? Like beliefs wise."

Nadia frowned slightly. "What do you mean? Like, he's pretty damn left wing if that's what you're talking about."

"Alright." She glanced to the side, taking a deep breath. "Do you think you could help me ask him for something."

"Yeah, of course. What is it?"

"Well… I'm trans."

"Oh. Okay." Nadia didn't know what else to say. What could you say? 'Congratulations'?

"Yeah. And I already asked Scott and they don't have the hormones I normally take. Estradiol. I know it's a long shot but since he's a chemical engineer, and it's a chemical I need… do you think he could, engineer it?"

"Maybe? I'm no chemical engineer but I can honestly say he'd give it his best go."

"Okay, thanks." She glanced to the side, fiddling slightly with a napkin.

"Do you want me to come with you to ask him? Because, I don't mind."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. Thank you. Honestly."

"Yeah no problem. And I don't know if he can do it, but I can promise you he'd be fine with being asked."

Mae nodded silently.

"Where did you get that dress by the way? I have a friend who's style is like, that exactly."

She glanced down at her dress again. "Lord I forget. Um… I think it was like, forever 21 or something."

"Huh. I'll have to tell her whenever we get off this damn planet."

"Yeah. If that ever happens."

* * *

Krupin walked out of the bathroom, scrubbing his hair with a towel. He put in on a chair and got back in bed, laying his head on Brenley's shoulder, "God I missed this."

Brenley nodded slowly. "I'm so sorry Fil."

"Stop apologising! You've done it enough. Can't we just enjoy that, that we're together again?"

"Yeah. Yeah, we can." He smiled. "I gotta be honest. I'm surprised I never saw a headline about you being outed in some form or another."

"Fuck I'm just as surprised. There is  _definitely_ a clip on youtube where I was on a show and for some reason this male model was there in a speedo. You can one hundred percent see me checking him out." He said, giggling.

Brenley laughed. "You useless faggot Feliks! God, so you haven't gotten over your habit of checking out dudes in public."

"Unfortunately not at all. And I'm glad you weren't either. Outed, I mean."

"Yeah no I was careful. Didn't want to get caught and ya know, fired and arrested and disgraced and all that. I mean can you imagine?" He imitated an American accent, "'Did you hear about Brenley? Turns out he likes dick. What a pervert.'"

Krupin chuckled, also imitating a voice, "'Oh that's nothing. I heard Feliks Krupin was caught in a public bathroom getting sucked off by a male prostitute.'"

Brenley laughed, "'Ugh, the gays just ruin everything.'" He went back to his normal voice, grinning. "Really? That's how you'd go? Getting head from a man whore in a public bathroom?"

"Go out in a blaze of glory." He waved his hand in an arch. There was a comfortable pause before Brenley looked at Krupin.

"Feliks."

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

Krupin smiled, shifting in closer, "I love you too."

They kissed, it was drawn out and slow. Just enjoying each other's closeness and touch. As they broke, Brenley looked down.

"Fil, I'm not apologizing, it's just… I shouldn't have left. Because I forgot how good this is. And I'm not just talking about sex. Just, this. I could do this forever."

Krupin smiled, "The sex isn't bad though."

"Not bad at all. Hey listen, did you see anyone else? While I was gone?"

"...Yeah. Well, not really. Kind of. You don't, mind do you?"

"No of course not. You didn't think you'd ever see me again."

"What about you?"

"Yeah. You go first though."

"Why me?"

"I asked first."

Krupin sighed. "Fine. I was in the hospital for a spell. Nothing serious they just had to keep me there for observation and stuff. You know. Anyways, he was also in the hospital. We never really, dated. Since we were just in the hospital together. And then when I got out I visited him every once in awhile. Name's Christy."

"Christy? Isn't that a girl's name?"

"Wow, heteronormative much?"

Brenley chuckled. "Is that the right word to use? That's more, sexuality, not gender, right?"

"You get what I mean. And it's short for Christopher man! He's nice, I think you'd like him. But I never, I mean I loved him, but I wasn't  _in love_ with him."

"Mm. What were you in the hospital for?"

Krupin stared up at the ceiling, letting out a long breath. "If it was anybody else I'd hint at the fact that… I don't really want to talk about it."

"But I'd miss those hints."

"Yeah."

"Well, you don't have to tell me then. Whenever you want to."

Krupin smiled and turned over, laying his arm over Brenley's chest. "God I missed you. Some of the people I started Vozmet with, they're my friends and I love 'em but I could never be, honest like that."

"Why do people dance around the truth so much? It's unnecessary."

"Yeah. So what about you? I told you mine."

"Okay well I saw two guys, so already I've got one up on ya."

"Sure you do."

Brenley laughed. "Anyways, the first guy was Deon. He was my TA for a few years."

Krupin frowned. "Your  _TA?"_

"I know what you're thinking but this was my first year of teaching. I was thirty. He was twenty six."

"Oh, yeah I guess that's fine then."

"I was with him for… three years. Then he had to go to mars for work. For you actually."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Not your main lab though, he was doing tissue work somewhere."

"Wait wait wait. Is he about six foot, black guy, pretty obviously grew up in the hood somewhere?"

Brenley stared at him. "Yeah. Do you know him?"

"Man that dude practically threatened me!"

Brenley laughed. "Oh shit really?"

"Yeah! You were with him for three years?"

"I mean, I don't know what he said to you but he was really nice to me."

"He fucking dropped your name on me and said 'you know, the guy you both fucked and fucked over.'" Brenley let out a surprised laugh as Krupin continued. "Then I gave him my number to give to you. Did he ever do that?"

"No, no he didn't." He giggled. "Fuck I'm sorry he did that. When I was with him I was still pretty pissed with you. Musta rubbed off on him. He was the only one I told about you though. And I knew he wouldn't tell anyone else."

"Goddamn… He was pretty hot though so, good job. Who was the other guy?"

"West. Classy as hell english professor."

"You have pictures of them?"

"Yeah. I'll show you if you show me a picture of Christy. Oh shit, I forgot. One second."

He crawled off the bed and padded over to the desk, rooting through his bag that sat there. Krupin shifted and watched him, smiling.

"You know, I'm liking this view."

"Fuck off." Krupin laughed as Brenley found a tablet, pulling it out. "Here it is.." he walked back over and sat down, sliding it open. He tapped around it for a second before arriving at a typed document, passing it to Krupin.

"I kept up with Vozmet and all the papers published. Then I'd jot down any ideas I had for… anything. Tissue growth, nerves, you know."

Krupin sat up higher in the bed and frowned, scrolling through it. "Holy shit Ellie. This is like, in depth as hell."

"Would anything there work?"

"Umm… this we already tried. This might though." He paused, reading before looking up. "Ellie I'm really sorry I left you out in the cold with this research. If we get off this planet-"

"When."

"Okay, when we get off this planet, would we be able to work together again?"

"I mean, I don't think I'd be able to like, run Vozmet. I still have to teach. And I love teaching. I don't really want to go lower than 2:2."

"Chasing the brass ring are you?"

"Yeah no I already got the brass ring."

Krupin looked at him. "You're tenured?"

"Yup."

"Ellie that's awesome! Why didn't you tell me before?!"

"I dunno. Didn't come up."

"Well hey, good job  _professor!"_

Brenley laughed. "Thanks. But, that means I can't really work at Vozmet."

"You don't have to. You have to publish papers right? You can just, work with the synthesizers. You could do stuff to advance them while still publishing papers."

"But you've kept this stuff so secret. If I have to publish what I do, that wouldn't work."

"Listen, baby, I now have a pretty massive pull in the scientific community. We'll figure it out."

"Okay."

Krupin scrolled through the tablet for another few seconds. "Well, I can't really do much with this now but when we get back I promise we'll look at these and try 'em out."

"Alright. Sounds good."

He put the tablet to the side and sank down further in the bed, turning onto his side. "I'm gonna go to sleep."

"Already?"

"Yes bitch. I'm tired."

"You're not wearing anything."

"Then guess who is sleeping in the nude."

"Well give me my tablet back fucker! I wanna read a bit."

Krupin passed it to him. "G'night."

"Good night weirdo."

Weirdly, Krupin dropped off after only a few minutes, while Brenley stayed up for a good few hours. Every once in awhile he'd glance over at his sleeping form and smile.

* * *

The next morning, Nadia walked into the lab, rubbing her eyes and yawning. "So. Do I just continue on that thing I was doing?"

Krupin nodded from his spot assembling a mess of tubes and tanks of gasses. "Yup. Boring but has to get done."

The plan was basically to build a Krupin machine. Or rather, a cellular synthesizer. Everyone but Krupin himself called them Krupin machines though. And while the machines were hugely complicated, Brenley and Krupin had built the first one and they were pretty confident in their ability to make one.

Vozmet had revolutionized the world with the machines. Essentially, they were biological printers. The very first machine was able to take the DNA of a person or animal and print STEM cells from the pure elements. Since then, they had grown immensely. Now there were machines that could produce a pint of blood in less than a minute, vast machines that pumped out meat and vegetables to feed a growing population, machines that made skin grafts. Blainn, the rat Krupin had brought to the talk, was the first synthetic mammal. Where they made the blastocyst with a synthesizer. It was incredibly impressive. And it turned out that the code for every single one of those machines, each a good five million lines, Krupin had stored on a data chip in his watch. Apparently it was in case everything went to shit, which… it did.

The concept initially sounded fairly simple, just like taking instructions, ie DNA, and making the thing they said to build. But if you thought any further than that they became crazily complicated. For instance, gene expression. When a fetus developed into a human, it went through a very complex process so that each of the cells, which are originally identical, get differentiated into muscle/skin/neural cells and all of the other 200+ types of cells. They also got told where to go to form limbs and organs and everything that makes up a human. It did all lead back to DNA dictating things but that code being interpreted by a human brain and put into a program was mind boggling. In order for a machine to make an arm, it had to know all of the different types of cells, how they are differentiated and how their genes are expressed, as well as where each individual cell goes. Even when they were only making one type of cell, there was still a million and a half ways that cells did not like being made by machines. Nadia was fairly sure that she was understanding about 2% of how they worked. She wasn't sure why they had wanted her to help in the lab but she tried her best to do what they instructed her to do, which was mainly grunt work and assembling little bits together. But it was actually pretty fun.

Turns out in an unsupervised lab, Brenley was, to put it in scientific terms, a bit of an entropic force. Normally in the labs at rutherford there were lab assistants and dozens of students, all who could report him to the college if he decided to blow something up 'for the fun of it'. But now, it was just the three of them. Nadia usually went along with his weird plans, wanting to see how they'd play out. So it was lucky Krupin was there. He was basically 90% of Brenley's impulse control. If his proposed 'plan' wasn't too crazy he'd usually join in. Like deciding to make elephant's toothpaste during lunch. Or roasting an uncooked hotdog over a bunsen burner. But when it was stuff like putting sodium in water, or bubbling hydrogen and oxygen gas up through cleaning fluid then setting the bubbles on fire to watch them explode, Krupin would usually rush over and take the instruments out of his hands going "Nope nope don't do that. You're going to kill yourself."

It wasn't like those particular experiments were impossible to do safely. It was just that the way Brenley was going to go about them would probably result in some sort of damage. He never wore safety equipment and most of the time he was in a t shirt and jeans. It was surprising that the only wound he had from being in a lab was the burn on his forearm.

While he was a bit chaotic to say the least, it was always during the break times they had set out. When they were actually working he'd be pretty focused.

They had been working all morning and Krupin sighed, glancing at his watch, then walking over to Brenley. "Hey Ellie…"

"Mm. What."

"You wanna… get the food?"

Brenley frowned, "I did it yesterday! It's your turn! Or at least Nadia's"

Nadia raised her hands, "Don't look at me, I did it the day before yesterday! It's definitely Feliks' turn."

Krupin placed his elbows on the lab table, looking up at him, "But I'm working."

"We all are."

"Please?" Krupin smiled and blinked rapidly a couple times.

Brenley groaned, "Fuck offff with your blue-ass eyes!"

"You know you love me."

Brenley sighed. "God help me I do. You know what? Fine. But you owe me one."

"Thank you Ellie."

Nadia crossed her arms, "If you two are done flirting over there I need some help."

Brenley snorted and strode over to her while Krupin grinned and went back to what he was working on. "What's up?"

"This thing. I've never really done this kind of electrical stuff before and I don't want to fuck it up."

He leaned over the circuit board she was working on. She didn't particularly know how it was going to work but she vaguely knew it was for extracellular fluid. "Right…" His eyes shifted between the wires and board. "Ok so you need to make sure the right wires go in the right place. Which is a bitch to do because they aren't labeled or anything. So this one here," He put his finger on a red wire, "Goes where?" the cadence in his voice told her he knew, he was just asking to see if she did.

"C'mon Brenley, you don't need to be all 'professor', just show me where to solder the wires so we can actually finish the thing."

He gave her a frank look, "I am a professor, so I will continue being all 'professor' until you learn how to make the thing. Now where does the red wire go."

She sighed, "There."

He coached her through setting up the board. He was surprisingly gentle in his instructions. He had never actually taught her something one on one before. When she soldered the last component in place he clapped his hands and stood back.

"Voila. See now you can both make one and explain how it works."

She nodded appraisingly. "Can I see what you're working on?"

"Yeah yeah, it's a little more fine tuned given that you're working on the parts that put the already made cells into groups and stuff going on outside the cells and me and Fil are putting the elements into cells." She followed him over to the microscope he had set up. Peering into it she could see the components of a tiny mechanism, too small for the naked eye. Tools far too small to control with just hands sat on the edge of the stage. The wires leading off them attached to two control panels either side of the microscope. He flicked a switch on the microscope and a feed projected onto the wall. "I am currently building the bit that assembles the actual DNA. It uses biological 'tools' to create the nucleotides and stick 'em together. People generally think how the cells are made is we just kinda… shove things together. A lot of the stuff at this elemental level is more along the lines of creating reactions aided by catalysts and using known biological tools like CRISPR to assemble the strand. Or at least something similar to CRISPR."

He looked into the microscope and placed his hands on the control panels. His fingers moved deftly, adjusting the tools without him having to look up. "So this little thing I'm currently putting together, is basically artificial polymerase. It was really hard to figure out how to get a single strand for it to work so we managed to erm, modify polymerase to create both sides given instructions from the computer. Since, like you know it normally runs along half a strand and assembles the other."

Nadia frowned, "How the hell does polymerase get instructions from a computer?"

Across the room, Krupin chuckled. "You're starting to see how convoluted it is to get a mechanical software thing to create anything biological."

"I mean not many biological things have actually been 'created' by software until you guys."

Brenley nodded and looked up from the microscope, "Well it's not true polymerase. It's artificial. And we managed through a long-ass process that would take hours to explain, to get it to attach whatever two nucleotides we give it. And we only give it matching pairs. If for some reason there is a glitch and they don't match then you get mutations and that's never good. A dispenser, for lack of a better word, releases the pairs for the polymerase to form into a chain."

Krupin glanced over, "Actually we've developed a way of fixing mistakes that the artificial polymerase makes, if any."

Nadia shook her head, "And this is just to create a strand of DNA. nothing to do with the actual cell yet."

"...Yeah."

She snorted, "I'm starting to see why this took 12 years."

Krupin shook his head, "Tip of the iceberg with that." He turned to Brenley, "Ellie. Food."

"Oh yeah. I'll be back."

As he left, Nadia turned to Krupin. Her eyes flicked to the bruise on his cheekbone he had acquired that morning from John's daily torture session. "So how does it do it so fast? If you lot are printing arms and stuff… I mean that's billions of cells."

"Yeah. First machine had one chamber to build cells. The modern ones, especially the ones building arms and bigger things like that have almost 300 chambers. They're… fairly large. We got it down to about a cell a second in each chamber. But there are about 37.2 trillion cells in the human body. If an arm is say… a seventh of those then it would take…" he tapped around on his phone for a bit. "About 275 thousand years. But that would be with one chamber. So maybe a thousand years. It was okay when we were making stem cells and stuff, it would take ages but it would get done. But now we use beyersdorfs. Get an arm done in about two days. Ideally it would take only a couple minutes but the beyersdorfs aren't there yet."

"But- cells have a lifespan, and it certainly isn't a thousand years! I mean the longest is liver right? And that's what, seven years?"

"We keep them from growing and dividing by keeping them small and wear and tear breaks down cells but they aren't getting any wear and tear. There's some long explanations for why we can keep them alive for so long. But, it wouldn't work for humans. I mean, if we did that to humans they wouldn't be able to heal at all."

"And what about the tools? Don't they wear down?"

"Not when they're made with carbonite." Carbonite was a material invented about 30 years ago that was incredibly durable. And incredibly expensive. He shrugged. "I try to sell the machines for a little as possible but until carbonite is cheaper I have to have the cost high so the company doesn't fold."

She nodded and glanced to the side. "Can I ask you something else? Not as sciency." She still had so many questions to ask him. It was hard not to rattle them all off at once. Or ask them all one after another. She didn't want to come off as an obsessed nerd. Even if she was one.

He bobbed his head. "Yup. Shoot."

"Why do you... have so much money?"

That made him grin. "I own a Fortune 500."

" _No."_  She said, rolling her eyes. "I mean like, you're what, the fourth richest person in the world?"

"Third, but yeah."

"Jesus Christ you're third. Anyways, I mean, you seem like you'd give everything away. And I've seen all those things where you pay for people's student loans. Or when you payed the legal fees for the family of that guy who got shot by the police. It seems like you wouldn't even be a billionaire, because you're pretty damn generous."

"Well thank you. There's a couple reasons. But the biggest would be that the 120-whatever billion I have to my name is not money. It's stock. But um, I suppose to really answer that you'd have to go back to when I first started getting money. See if from the beginning I had been giving it away as much as I do now, I wouldn't have much to show as far as wealth goes. When I first started making money I kind of Scrooge McDucked it. I didn't really even want to spend it on myself. And that's probably because I grew up, pretty poor." He shrugged. "I mean, my mom was an immigrant, working as a cleaner for minimum wage, and my father was a construction worker. And they had to pay for two kids."

"You have a sibling?"

"Had. She died eleven-ish years ago. Cancer."

"Oh. Fuck, I'm sorry."

"It's okay. And the thing about when you're poor… is that when you get something…" he paused and reworked his sentence. "Okay. Have you ever been to like, a pretty rich family's house?"

Nadia nodded. "Yeah, one of my friends family was so rich they had a  _foundation._ "

"Was their house messy or clean?"

"Super clean."

"Right? That's mainly because they don't have any extras of anything. They can always buy new ones. Like even just… pencils. They'll have like one fancy one in a nice little pencil holder. And if they lose it they can always buy a new one. Poor people, whenever they get pencils they tend to hoard them. Because tomorrow you might not have enough money to buy one. Long story short for the first few years I kind of hoarded my money. Then like most rich people I invested it. I used to own 85% of Vozmet when me and Kris started out. Now I own 30%. I kinda, diversified. I have stock in Boeing and Microsoft and Space X and a bunch of shit. In my actual bank account I have like, a million? maybe? And that's in case I need money quickly for something. If I liquidated everything I have and gave it to charity, then that would be a massive fucking influx of money, but that would be it. This way, I play the stock market then cash out little bits at a time and give it away, or invest in something else on the rise. Over the long run this is better. And anyways if I tried to put all that money back into the world economy, it wouldn't actually change anything. Because I'd be selling it so someone else could have the exact same amount in stock. There's no net difference. It's better if I keep it and try and sell it at opportune times  _then_ give it to people who need it."

"But… aren't there foundations that do that? Like, the Gates foundation. That's just stock right?"

"Yeah but foundations are like businesses unto themselves. They don't make a profit but the people who work in them have to get paid somehow. Usually with money, from the foundation. I have a few stock advisors who work for me and I pay them, overall it's cheaper than a foundation." He glanced to the side. "I agree that the concept of billionaires is stupid and a thousand people shouldn't own more than a full half of the world but as far as I can tell, this is the best way for me to deal with my money."

"Huh. I never thought about it like that."

"Capitalism isn't just about making the poor poorer. It's about making the rich rich. Even if they don't want to be rich. If I sold my 80 billion dollars worth of Vozmet shares, some idiot would then have 80 billion worth of Vozmet shares. And I suppose that 80 billion I got would be going to people who need it rather than that jokers trophy wife's tits or something but it would only be a one time deal. Best way for me to help people is play the long game."

Nadia snorted at his rather crass way of saying it.

He smiled, shrugging. "It's unfortunate but true."

Brenley soon returned with the food and they took a break to eat it. During which, he played with a spray bottle filled with ethanol and a lighter. Krupin watched him from a bit of a distance, his eyebrows raised as he ate his sandwich.

The day was long and by the time they decided to quit, Nadia was exhausted. Krupin, for unknown reasons, decided to keep working as Nadia and Brenley headed back to the apartment. She had discovered he was a bit of a workaholic. He rarely took a break. After a few minutes of reading a Terry Pratchett book she had borrowed from Brenley, Nadia realised this would be the perfect time to have Mae talk to Brenley, given it was rare he and Krupin were in separate places. She put the book down and went to find her.

She wasn't in the commons so she decided to check her and James' apartment before resorting to calling her over the goggle headphones. She knocked on the door and waited. After a second, James opened it.

"Oh, hey."

"Hey. Is Mae in there?"

"Um yeah. One second." He stepped back and held the door open, letting her step into the doorway and hold it with her shoulder. He started walking towards another door. "You wanna come in? We have some cards here. We could pass the time with, poker or something."

"Maybe later. I uh- need Mae for something."

"Oh right." He knocked on the door. "Mae? Nadia wants you for… something."

She opened the door and Nadia gestured with her thumb. "Uh… Brenley is free right now. If you want to come with me."

"Oh, okay. Sure, thanks."

James frowned as Mae walked towards her. "What do you need Brenley for?"

"Hormones are getting low. We're hoping he can, mix some up. Seems like the best shot." She said as she passed him.

"Ah. Well, good luck."

As they left, Nadia glanced at Mae. "Sorry about that, I didn't know if he knew or not."

"Well, he didn't used to. But, we live together now. I accidentally left a syringe in the bathroom." She shrugged. "He was going to find out eventually. Luckily he's fine with it."

The continued walking for a bit and Nadia glanced down. "You don't have to answer, but why don't you tell people?"

"I don't know. It's not like I'm ashamed or anything, it's just… well it's annoying. People asking questions-"

Nadia grimaced. "Shit. Sorry."

"No you're all good. You asked in a respectful way. And it wasn't like, intrusive. I meant people who when they find out ask like, 'So are your boobs real.' or something. Even if people accept it they're always asking about stuff like that. Or like, when I came out and if my parents accept me. I've just decided to not tell people unless I have to."

"Makes sense. Also, I completely forgot but Brenley had a trans TA for a few years. He'll definitely be fine with being asked." She grinned. "He got in trouble with the school for punching a grad student when he called his TA a bunch of slurs."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Huh." She raised her eyebrows in appreciation. "Cool."

Brenley was sitting on the couch, looking at something on his computer and drinking what looked like sprite out of a glass with a straw. He didn't look up when they entered the room, a thing he often did. Until they were well into the conversation he'd still stay staring at his computer. Nadia glanced at Mae, speaking under her breath.

"Will I ask?"

"Um, okay. Thank you."

They walked up to Brenley and Nadia took a breath. "Hey Brenley? I don't know if this is at all possible, but since you're a chemical engineer would it be possible that you could make estradiol?"

He barely looked up as he chuckled slightly. "Estradiol? Are you hitting menopause at 23 Waters? Why the fuck do you need me to make estradiol?"

Nadia and Mae glanced at each other. Mae seemed to be asking her if it was okay to tell him, Nadia nodded slightly.

"Well…" Mae said. "I'm transgender. And estradiol is, kinda important to me."

He looked up from his computer. "Oh. Shit, sorry. I wouldn't have made that joke if I had known."

Mae waved her hand dismissively. "It's fine."

"Well uh… I've actually done a bit of research with estradiol so if we have the ingredients I can make it. We do have a fully stocked store room but the main ingredient is, yams."

Mae frowned. "Yams?"

"Yeah. It's actually lucky you're on that and not premarin. Premarin is made with pregnant mare's urine. That's where the name comes from  _pre_ gnant  _mar_ es ur _in_ e. We  _definitely_  don't have that. Might have yams though. So, check tomorrow if there are any yams in the food area. I think it would be closed now."

"Okay, thanks!"

"Yeah no problem."

She said goodbye to Nadia and walked out the door. Nadia sat down on the armchair. "Thanks for doing that Brens."

"Mm hmm."

"I… am gonna go get dinner. Want me to bring something back?"

"Sure. Uh, get me one of those pasta salad things. Thanks. Oh and Feliks will get back here eventually. Grab him whatever pasta is available, fettuccine or whatever."

"Alright. See you in a bit."

She stood up, her back complaining a bit, then went off towards the ration area. James watched her cross the commons and turned the deck of cards he held over in his fingers before going towards her, Brenley, and Krupin's rooms. Hesitantly, he walked in, spotting Brenley on the couch.

"Hey man."

"Brenley briefly glanced up to see who it was. "Hey." He did a slight double take. "What are you doing here?"

He displayed the pack of cards. "Thought we could, pass the time a bit."

"Oh right."

"Where are the others?"

"Nadia went to get food, and Feliks is still working on some stuff. They should be back soon."

"Aright. Mind if I wait here?"

"Go ahead."

James sat at the table and started to assemble a small card pyramid. He glanced over at where Brenley sat at his computer. "Hey Brenley?"

The professor didn't look up. "Mm?"

"Can I… ask you a kind of weird question."

"Um," He typed a few final things into the computer then put it down, grabbing his drink. "Yeah, go ahead." He stuck the straw in his mouth and stared right at him, slurping up his sprite.

Not exactly how James imagined it going down. "Right… I was just wondering, you and Nadia aren't, together, are you?"

Brenley just stared, taking a long drink. Eventually he swallowed and took the straw out of his mouth. "Dude. I'm gay."

"Oh."

"Yeah. You know who I'm with? I'll give you a guess. Blonde. More money than should be allowed."

"Feliks?"

"Yup."

"I must say, I wasn't expecting that."

Brenley raised his eyebrows, glancing away. "These days, no one does." There was a pause before he frowned. "Also really? Nadia? Man she's 23! That's thirteen years!"

"My grandparents were seventeen years apart."

"You don't find that at all creepy?"

"I do. But, that doesn't stop it from happening."

"Mm. True. You have a point. Well anyways, I'm not like that. Even if I was straight. Age differences are just… eugh. Like anything past five years is just, creepy. Speaking of which, how old are you?"

James glanced to the side. "27? Why?"

"Because you wouldn't ask about me and her unless you were, interested." He smirked. "I'm not great at most social cues but I can pick up on that one. Just wanted to check you weren't a young looking 32 year old or something."

"Are you her dad?" He said, laughing.

"No. But my little sister is one year older than her. And if anybody did something to her I'd tombstone 'em." He gave James a frank look.

There was a pause before James chuckled. "You're a cool guy professor."

"Thanks?"

He carefully put a card on top of two triangles he made. "So you and Feliks are together?"

"Mm hmm."

James grinned. "Gold digger huh?"

"Yup. I think I can say that with the dude I bagged I am  _the_ best gay gold digger out there."

"Indeed."

"Although Matt Stafford gives off some serious vibes so… who knows." He glanced at James and smiled.

James grinned back, shaking his head. "Fuck if Matt Stafford was gay I'd be right next to you flirting." He glanced down at his chest. "Though… you'd probably win out."

"Maybe he has a type. Not everyone likes the whole 'stick insect' thing I've got going on."

There was a pause as James looked down. "You know Nadia pretty well right?"

"Well enough."

"Do you think she'd…"

"Agree to go out with you?"

"Yeah."

Brenley let out a long breath. "Man I'm shit at reading people. But she does seem to like to spend time with you so, maybe?"

"Hmm."  
"But listen, just tell her. If she says no, bummer, move on. If she says yes then great. Either way it's better than not knowing and stressing over that."

"Yeah, I know." His hand shook slightly and the pyramid tumbled to the ground. "Aw shit." As he started it again and got the first level sorted, Nadia walked through the door.

"Oh, hey James."

He smiled. "Hey. Thought we could play something."

"Yeah sure." She gestured with the tinfoiled meals she held. "Sorry, if I knew you were coming I would have grabbed something for you."

"Nah I'm good. Thanks though. I ate a bit earlier."

When Krupin finally got back they started a game of texas holdem which Brenley quickly pulled ahead in. Nadia groaned as he raked in more of the coins they were using as chips. "Oh come  _on!_  This isn't fair. Fuckin pokerstars dot com over here is counting the damn cards."

James stared. "You can count cards?"

Brenley grinned as he started stacking his coins into neat little towers. "I smell jealousy…"

"This is why I don't play strategy games with him." Krupin said, sighing at his pitifully small stack which was equally as pitiful as James' and Nadia's. "Fucker will whoop anyones ass at Settlers of Catan."

"Okay." Nadia said, putting her cards down. "We're playing a different game. Fuck this. Anybody know anything?"

"Ooh I do." Krupin said. "And we have four people which is perfect."

It turned out to be a game played in partners. It involved getting all four suits of a number by passing cards around and signalling to your partner when you had them. Your partner would then yell out 'pairs' and that team would get a point. If the other team picked up on the signal, one would yell out something, usually along the lines of 'Hah! Fuck you!' and they would get a point. It was all about using very small signals, like moving the first card to the fourth position or something like that. It was a pretty close game but Brenley and Krupin eventually won and would not stop gloating for the next ten minutes. They continued well into the early hours of the morning before deciding to go to bed. At this point, Krupin was told that James knew of his relationship. So James decided to take the couch as everyone had agreed that going somewhere alone when the place was practically empty was a bad idea, in case a GIRA member with some anger to take out was wandering around.

* * *

Days started to blend together as they worked on the machine and ate and played games to pass the time and slept. It was a few days later when everyone in the commons got quite the surprise as the door slammed open with a bang. People whipped their heads around to look as a few GIRA members rushed in. They held another, he lay prone, covered in blood. The man who called himself John Smith rushed out in front, his grey eyes scanning the crowd.

"Where's the doctor."

No one spoke.

He cocked his gun and aimed it at a random man near him. "Get the fucking doctor or he dies."

A woman on Scott's team spoke up. "He's in another room. I'll go get him."

"Go fast."

She practically sprinted out of the room. He uncocked the gun and put it back into the holster on his hip. He started pacing before going over and looking down at the wounded man. Whatever happened, it was bad. He had long gashes down his torso and his scalp was matted with blood. His face was practically destroyed. Nadia peered around the woman in front of her. The wounded guy looked younger than her. Maybe eighteen. She almost felt sorry for him. Almost. John looked pretty genuinely worried for him. Apparently he could feel empathy. The door opened and Scott came back in, following the woman. He saw the unconscious guy.

"What happened?"

"He got attacked by one of those, bat things."

Scott approached, wary of the men standing around with rifles. "How many wings."

"Four. Fucking massive. Size of an elephant."

"A siren? He survived getting attacked by a siren?"

"We shot it."

Scott stared at him for a second before taking a slow step forward and swinging the stethoscope off his neck. There was silence as he gauged his heart rate. After a second he unhooked it from his ears. He inspected him, delicately touching the cuts. "Right. Well he's lost some blood but I don't think the siren got anything major. These are surprisingly shallow. Except for some on the shoulders and arms but they missed the brachial arteries and the carotid. He'll just need stitches."

"Well then give him stitches."

Scott clenched his jaw. "I can't do that."

"You seem to be stitching up the tzar over there fine." He nodded at Krupin.

Krupin gave a quizzical look and mouthed, " _The tzar?"_

Scott looked down. "If I help him. Chances are hes going to kill my friends. I can't help him in good conscious."

John twisted his jaw slightly, as if trying to get a bit of food out of his teeth with his tongue. "Well. You can help him and  _maybe_ he'll kill your friends later on. Or you can refuse to help and your friends  _will_ die now."

There was a pause before Scott relented. "Okay. Okay, bring him here." He led them over to the makeshift clinic they had set up. A few of the men carried their wounded comrade on some sort of primitive stretcher. It looked like just a board. John dismissed the other members and had a few stay guard outside the door as he went in.

The guy lay on a bed where the other men had put him. He was still unconscious, probably from shock.

Scott inspected the wounds as John nervously paced the room. "I'll stitch it up but there's not much I can do here." He pointed at the bloody mess around his right eye. "I think the eye's already lost."

John glanced away. " _Fuck._ "

"But other than that there shouldn't be any damage. It will mostly just be… cosmetic."

"Well then stitch him up dammit."

"Yeah. This is going to take a while."

It did. He had to have John help him hold his body up as there were long cuts along his back as well. As he was working on one of the cuts on his forearm, the man suddenly jolted. His head whipped side to side. "Dad? Dad?! I can't see! I can't see!"

Scott glanced at the leader, surprised, before putting his hand on the younger man's shoulder. "It's okay. You're right eye was damaged but your left is fine. There's just bandage over it."

"Whats going on?"

"You're okay. That siren got you pretty bad. But you should be good after some stitches."

He was breathing heavily, obviously a bit panicked.

"What's your name?" Scott said, trying to calm him down.

John leaned forward. "Don't tell him."

"Dad?!"

"Don't talk."

"I'm- I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that."

"No. You shouldn't have. You risked your own life as well as others. Including mine."

The guy swallowed and turned his head slightly to the side.

John sighed slightly. "You're alive though. That's the main thing."

Scott glanced at John, noticing the rips in the back of his jacket. "Did you get attacked as well?"

"Yeah. You can look at me when you're done with him."

"I can have one of my assistants look at you."

"No. You're the most experienced."

"...Okay."

"What are you going to do about the eye."

Scott sighed, looking between them. "Well, it's been ruptured." He leaned forward, "This might hurt a bit." He took the gauze off and peeled the eyelid up slightly. "See."

John looked at it, then recoiled. The eye was a bloody mess and looked slightly deflated. The pupil was elongated, as if it had been tugged to the side, and the blue-grey iris was in tatters.

The younger man shifted in the bed. "I'm going to lose an eye?"

"Unfortunately. But, you'll still have the other one. You'll just lose some depth perception and peripheral vision."

"So what happens now." John asked.

"I have to perform an exenteration. As in, take out all of the stuff from the socket. If I leave it there it will get infected."

"You can do that?"

"Back on earth I was an ER surgeon. So yes."

The wounded guy was still a bit panicky. "You're going to take my eye out?!"

Scott shrugged. "I don't have much of a choice. But, it'll be alright. I know what I'm doing. You'll be fine."

John opted for a different way of calming him down. "If you hadn't have gone after it none of this would have happened. Your eye can serve as a lesson to not do stupid shit."

Scott stared at John, frowning. "What-"

"He's my son." John said in return, glaring. "I do with him how I see fit."

Scott mumbled under his breath. " _He's not your property._ "

"What was that."

There was a second where Scott considered actually saying it before he sighed and glanced away. "We should do it now. It's not good to wait too long. There's a fairly simple OR here. I'll need my team though."

"Fine. As long as some of my men can stand in as well. I don't want you 'accidentally' doing something."

The surgery took a good few hours. Scott had tried to protest the clearly not sterile GIRA members from being in the room but John would have none of it. All in all it went successfully though and they left him in one of the beds to rest and recover. As Scott walked out of the OR and took his mask off, John tilted his head.

"I still need some stitches doctor."

Scott let out a long, almost exasperated breath. "Right. Right let me just get changed." After he did, he led John back in the clinic room. "So how bad did it get you."

"The cuts are long but not deep."

Scott gathered his materials as he took off his jacket. "Take your shirt off as well."

John grabbed the hem and peeled it off over his head. As his face was covered by the shirt he spoke. "If you did anything to me, my men would instantly kill you. And somebody would take my place."

Scott nodded as he threaded his needle. "I'm aware."

John bundled his shirt away and sat on the table, facing his back to Scott. He was lean and his muscles shifted under his skin. He had a few tattoos spanning his skin, the most noticeable being a six inch swastika on his shoulder blade. Scott spoke dryly.

"Nice tattoos."

"Just sew the damn cuts."

Scott worked in silence for a few minutes, spreading antiseptic over the gashes and beginning on the first few stitches. Eventually he spoke up.

"You know I'm jewish right."

"Easy enough to tell."

Scott shook his head. "How did I end up here. Stitching up a Nazi."

John didn't answer.

"So the kid, he's your son."

"What of it."

"Just. Not something I'd expect." There was a punctual silence. "Why'd you bring your teenager into this. What is he, seventeen?"

"He wanted to come."

"You know, I have two sons."

"Good for you. Don't care."

"You obviously care about him. Do you think you're the only parent to love their kid? I miss my boys like hell and because of you I might never get to see them again. And- and you killed so many people. All of them were loved by others. How can you be so… detached."

"Watch it."

"Do you think I don't care about my kids as much as you do yours."

"I have no doubt you do. I just don't care about  _your_  feelings _._  And this is for the better good."

"Have you seen Hot Fuzz?"

"What?"

"Nevermind. How is this for the better good? Us white guys ruling the universe?"

"You're jewish."

"Right. So jews aren't allowed in your little utopia either. Sounds like a real paradise."

"All the other races, and females, they're a strain on this world. Not worth what it takes to keep them in society."

Scott slowed his movements. "What do you plan to do. What- what's the endgame of this."

"We fix society."

"And how does keeping a bunch of scientists hostage achieve that."

He stared. "What, do you want to know every strategy? Everything we're planning? So you can plan against it?"

"I was just wondering, why I'm in this situation."

"Are you half jewish? Or full."

He smirked. " _Full Jewish._  Sounds like a band name. Why?"

"When we overturn society, set it right, if you play your cards right you could be in a fairly high position. Despite your heritage. We need doctors."

"I'd rather die."

"If this succeeds you might change your mind."

Scott slowly pulled a stitch through. "It won't succeed. And I'd never change my mind. Not in a million years."

"Suit yourself." He paused for a second. Then he shifted. "If you do anything to harm my son I'm killing you."

"Don't worry. I'm not like you. I'd never go after a kid to hurt their parent. If I want to hurt you, trust me it's going to be you I hurt." He was not exactly being gentle with the stitches.

"You're on thin ice doctor."

"You need me."

"We still have your team."

Scott stared at him for a second before returning to his work. "Well let's just say I hope you don't succeed."

"We'll see about that."


	8. Chapter 8

**Early October**

Nadia hesitantly walked into the kind of makeshift clinic area Scott and his team had set up. She hadn't actually been here before so it was a bit weird. She walked up to the man at the desk. "Sorry, is Scott available?"

He glanced up at her. "Yep, should be. You can just go on in. It's been a slow day"

She thanked him and walked into Scott's room. He was sitting at a desk reading a file, he spun in his chair slightly to look at her.

"Hey, it's Nadia right?"

She nodded, "Yeah, I'm surprised you remembered."

"I've gotten pretty good with names, comes with the job. What can I do for you?"

She wrung her hands. "It's a bit of a weird question but… do you have birth control" He cocked his head slightly and she hurried to explain. "It's not for the, name. It's just that I get, debilitating, period cramps. As in I can't stand up for more than ten minutes. I didn't think to come to you before because I doubted you'd have it but now I'm due and I'm starting to remember it's pretty hellish. I know it's a long shot, but is there a possibility you would have some?"

He looked to the side, sighing. "I'll check, but I don't think so. I'm sorry, I… well I don't know how bad it is, but, I'm sorry. I have some ibuprofen and advil and stuff." He wheeled over to a drawer and opened it. "If you want some."

"Uh sure, if you have it to spare. Ibuprofen works best for me."

He plucked a bottle out. "Plenty to spare. And, just in case, I'll check if we have birth control."

"Thanks." Nadia nodded, "Well, tell me if you do find any."

"Sure thing. And, how old are you?"

"Twenty three. Why?"

He frowned. "If your period is as bad as you say it is, somethings wrong. It shouldn't be like that. How long has it been that bad?"

"Uhh, since I first got it. Well, it might not have been too bad at first but I don't really remember."

"Yeah. When we get back you should get that checked out."

"I've been to a bunch of doctors, they just said it was normal."

"It isn't. Doctors tend to… well, underestimate when women say they have pain. Especially in regards to anything only women get. Like periods."

She nodded slowly.

"But anyways, if it hasn't killed you in this long I doubt it will soon. Just get some second opinions when you can."

"Thanks. Really. I thought I just had a particularly bad one. I'll uh- see you later."

"See you later Nadia."

"Bye."

She was already starting to get twinges of cramps even though she hadn't actually started yet so when she got back to the rooms she took a couple pills. The last few days they weren't really working on very physically big things so they were able to do it at the rooms. It was only a few hours of fiddling with a circuit board before pain started to gnaw at her stomach and back. It felt like her organs were being mushed to a pulp. Her palms felt sweaty as she gripped the side of the table, causing her knuckles to turn white. She felt faint and nauseous, as if she was going to throw up, or pass out, or both. She spoke through gritted teeth to Brenley.

"I… I'm sorry. I, I have to go sit down."

He gave her a worried glance, "Are you alright?" Krupin looked at them from across the room.

"Something wrong?"

She shook her head, swallowing. "Thought I could soldier through… but, I can't. I forgot how bad it is."

Brenley frowned. "How bad what is?"

"This is going t- to sound weird but… my period."

They both looked a little taken aback. Brenley glanced away for a second. "Oh."

She walked over to the couch and sat in it, curling her legs towards her chest. Her entire body shuddering in pain. Krupin frowned,

"Holy shit is it this bad for most women?"

"I- I don't think so. I've always had it bad though." Pain unfurled through her body and she squeezed her eyes shut for a split second. Tears leaked out of her eyes and she wiped them away. "Ugh! What I would give for that piece of shit Y chromosome!"

Brenley tilted his head, his brows furrowed. "Anything we can do to help?"

"I already took Ibuprofen. Just have to… ride this shit out."

"Nadia you should go rest, we can keep working."

"Okay. I'd probably be useless anyways." She slowly stood up and walked to her room before collapsing onto the bed. She rolled over and groaned. "Oh fucking  _hell_." Her eyes teared up again and she buried her face in the pillow.

Brenley glanced at Krupin. "Jeez. I uh- I share a flat with one of my best friends. Sofia. And hers are never that bad. I mean it doesn't seem fun but it's not… that."

"You share a flat?"

"Yeah. Professors don't get paid that much."

"Huh. But yeah, Kris' aren't that bad either."

"Are you ever very glad you're a guy?"

Krupin chuckled. "Yeah."

Brenley went over and grabbed a water bottle, flicking the kettle on. As he waited for it to boil, Krupin watched him.

"We're very stereotypical gay men aren't we, with female best friends."

"Mm hmm."

"Did Sofia ever… say she liked you?"

Brenley frowned. "No? I actually… you know I'm shit at telling what people are feeling so, I asked her if she liked me. And she said no. So, no."

"Mmm. I almost had sex with Kris once."

Brenley's eyebrows shot up. "What?"

"Long story. Involving me not having had sex for ages, way too much weed, and… her telling me she loved me."

"Oh fuck."

"Oh fuck is right. We didn't do it though. I panicked and told her I'm gay."

"How long ago was this?"

"It was right after I got nominated for the Nobel prize."

"Oh so awhile back."

"Yeah. She doesn't feel that way now but, goddamn that was an experience."

"Sounds like it." The kettle dinged and Brenley took it off, pouring it into the water bottle. "I'll be right back."

"Okay."

Before going over to her room he went to the sobek tank and plucked out Leia. They had decided to keep the Sobek tank because it wasn't really much of a resource strain. With her in hand, he knocked on the door. "Nadia?"

"Yeah, come in."

He cracked the door open. "I have a uh… hot water bottle. We don't actually have hot water bottles so I… stuck hot water in a bottle."

She smiled. "Thanks Brenley."

He walked over to the bed and sat down on the chair next to it, passing her the bottle. She shifted so she was sitting more upright, then stuck the bottle under her shirt against her stomach.

"Oh also, this." He lightly tossed Leia so she landed on the bed with a small thump. "I brought a friend."

Nadia grinned. "Oh hello!" Leia crawled over the blankets and clung to the front of her shirt. She stroked her fingers over her back, feeling the sobek hum in contentment. It was almost like purring, but more of a steady hum than a soft rumble. She glanced back at Brenley as she pet Leia "Man you are  _wasted_ on dudes. Most guys just kinda ignore when you're on your period."

He cracked a smile. "I live with a woman. At this point I'm fairly used to it."

"She's lucky then."

There was a pause as he frowned slightly. "You look different. What is it?"

"Do you know what makeup is  _Elias_." She said, slightly sarcastically.

"I'm not that bad! Of course I do."

"Well I'm just not wearing any. Decided my appearance should reflect how I feel. Shitty."

"You don't look shitty. Just different. But you don't wear much normally do you?"

"No not really. Just some eyeliner and concealer because my skin is like fucking no man's land."

He snorted. "Should have seen me as a teenager. I looked like Jeff Goldblum out of the fly. Actually, that's why I have my beard at this length. Covers up my plethora of acne scars and if I fully shave I get ingrown hairs like a motherfucker."

"Curly hair huh."

"Yeah… It's a bitch." He glanced to the side. "Well anyways, I know you probably just want to sit here and wallow in weird positions so I'll leave you to that. If you need anything then just, ya know, yell."

"Okay, thanks again."

"Do you want tea or something? I still have some hot water left over."

"Uh sure. If you're up for it."

"Yeah no problem." He got up to leave.

As he was walking out the door she called after him. "If you weren't as gay as freddie mercury's hotpants I'd marry you."

He winked over his shoulder at her and closed the door.

Brenley and Krupin continued working for a few hours before quitting for the day and Brenley decided to get a shower.

As Krupin stepped into the humid room, Brenley called out. "That better be you Fil."

"It is me." He walked over to Brenley's pile of clothes and took his hoodie off, dropping it on top. Brenley slid the shower door open and poked his head out. "Are you getting in?"

"Yeah."

"This thing is tiny!"

"So?"

Brenley paused, the running water filling the silence. He sighed as Krupin undid his belt buckle and stepped out of his pants. "Fine."

"Yeah boy."

Brenley stared at him as he peeled his shirt off. "Is that my shirt?"

"Uh. Yeah."

"Don't steal my clothes!"

"Ellie don't you know that's a quintessential part of being in a gay relationship. Your wardrobe doubles. Feel free to steal my stuff."

Brenley made a kind of 'hrmph' noise and turned back to the front of the shower. Once Krupin got his clothes off he slid the shower door open wider and stepped in. Brenley was right, it was pretty small. He chuckled as he closed the door behind him. "Okay, you were right about the size."

"See?! Now you're blocking the water. Move, asshole." He scooted past him until he was in the stream of water. Krupin stepped out of the way before crossing his arms as the water on him quickly cooled.

"Aw now I'm cold."

"That's what you get. You have to stand in the cold shame corner of zero spatial logic."

"C'mon, at least share the water." He squeezed next to him at the front of the shower, the water now hit both of them. "See?" Brenley grabbed the showerhead and unhooked it, spraying it in Krupin's face. Krupin spluttered and slapped it away. "Aghk! You piece of shit!" Brenley's distinct high laugher echoed in the small space but he returned the showerhead to its normal position. Krupin grinned. "I love you, but you can be an asshole, you know that?"

"Yes and I'm fine with it."

Krupin squinted up at him. "Since when did you get contacts? Also you shouldn't wear them in the shower."

"I'm lazy. And I got them… five years ago. When my eyesight decided to take a sharp left turn towards hell."

"Aren't they terrible?"

"Yes. But I fiddled to much with the glasses so the arms kept wearing out and I'd smudge them. Now I just have a pair for at night if for some reason I need to see well."

"You always said you'd eventually get glasses."

"And I was right. My 20/20 days are gone." He leaned to the side slightly due to the cramped shower and grabbed the bottle of shampoo. He squeezed some into his hand and started running it through his hair, his fingers working through the tangles. "I like your hair like that." He said, still working out tangles.

"Really? I mean, it's pretty generic."

"Yeah but it looks all," he waved his hands vaguely "Business-y"

"That was kind of the point."

"I mean… it is  _very_ grey."

Krupin put his hand up to it, covering it slightly and smiling. "Fuck off, I know it is. It's not like I can do anything though! And I am not dyeing it."

Brenley chuckled, "If you took out all the grey hairs you'd look like you have mange."

"Stop!" He laughed and covered his hair again.

Brenley's face turned serious and he put a hand on Krupin's shoulder. "Don't worry Fil. You are a very, handsome," He sniggered, "older man."

"Fuck off!"

"Nah being serious though, I kinda like it. Bit of a silver fox look."

"Mm. Sure. Didn't think I'd quite reach 'silver fox' stage at 36 but… oh well." He reached up and brushed a wet strand of hair from Brenley's face. "You're really pretty, you know that?"

Brenley grinned. "Pretty? That's a new one."

"What? It's true."

"I think if anyone here is pretty it's you mr. blue eyes."

Krupin craned his neck up to kiss him but Brenley simply shifted over to be more in the stream of water and started washing the foam out of his hair, closing his eyes. Krupin laughed.

"Bend your head asshole! I can't kiss you if you're all the way up there." Brenley opened his eyes then paused from washing his hair to kiss him. As they separated Krupin spun his finger in a little circle. "Okay now go faster, I'm getting cold here and you're using all the water."

Brenley laughed. "You're the best tiny boyfriend."

"I am not tiny!"

"You are  _definitely_ tiny."

"You're a fuckin rude giraffe. Now hurry up."

"Alright alright. I'm almost done." He wrung his hair out and moved back to his previous position. As he did, Krupin glanced at his own shoulder, noticing a long hair stuck to his skin. He plucked it off.

"I forgot what it's like living with someone with long hair. Here, take your fuckin keratin."

He tried to stick it on Brenley who slapped his hand away. "Bitch put it down the drain! I don't collect my shed hair you weirdo."

Krupin grinned as he shook it off his hand. "You're so easy to rile up."

"It's not like I don't know you're being sarcastic with this shit, it just gets annoying after awhile of you being weird solely to make me mad."

"Mmmmm. I'm still gonna do it."

"Of course." He started putting conditioner on his hair, working it into the ends. "Man why are you here."

"It's the store brand version of a romantic bath."

"Squished in an obviously-made-for-one-person shower."

"Yeah. I mean, we could flood the bathroom and sit in it but I felt like that would require a lot of cleanup."

Brenley chuckled. "Jesus christ."

Krupin watched him gently tug a wide comb through his hair. "Boy how long does that take you."

"Like… forty minutes. Don't you remember? I take long ass showers. When I wash my hair that is."

"Well I remembered it's a lot of work." He glanced around the inside of the shower walls, then back to Brenley. "Don't couples usually have sex in the shower."

Brenley chuckled. "Hah! Like hell is that happening."

"I wasn't suggesting it! Anyways I feel like we'd both fall down and crack our heads or something. It's just, we aren't really your average couple are we."

"No. Not quite. Not a bad thing though."

"No."

As they were getting dressed afterwards, Brenley plucked Krupin's watch off the counter and inspected it, his face getting a faraway look. "I'm surprised you kept this all these years."

"Well, I love it. Though, I was pretty tempted to pawn it a couple times when I was tight for cash."

"With the money you have now you could get a much better watch."

"Well, that one reminds me of… you. Before, y'know. And also just, before I was, who I am. Before I had a nobel prize, before I got recognized on the street."

Brenley nodded slowly, still looking at the watch. His brow was furrowed.

"Elias… you're not telling me something. If we need to talk more about what happened, that's okay with me."

Brenley sighed. "It's just- I wanted that fucking prize Feliks. Not just for bragging purposes. Do you know how many black nobel science laureates there have been?"

Krupin didn't respond. He knew the answer.

"Two. In the entire history of the damn prize there have been two. And they've been in the last fifty years. I actually saw someone online use that as an argument for why black people are not as smart as white people. I know it was just some shitty internet troll but- but still. Imagine being judged on your worth based off of how well you do in a game rigged against you. Since I was a kid  _everyone_ thought that I'd never measure up to much. Sure I was a nerd but that didn't let them see past the black kid with barely a 3 point GPA. Even after regeneron. Everyone thought I won that because of affirmative action or, something. And for once I wanted to prove them wrong. To say, fuck you, it's not just white college kids who have cool ideas in their dorm to revolutionize the world. And I know that looking at our backgrounds, you had it worse. But that doesn't stop the fact that… that just like every other time in history a white guy got the credit for a black guy's work. And, I know you only look white technically but everyone thinks you're white."

Krupin glanced down at his hands, speaking softly. "I didn't think about like that."

"I know."

"Ellie I'm sorry. When we get back I'm going to hammer it into the heads of the public that we did 50/50 work."

"Well, thank you. But, they aren't going to change the prize."

"I got that in chemistry. It was before the stem cells were fully able to help people so it was more about the chemistry of the machine. Once we get nerve regrowth down… I mean I know a bunch of people on the board. I'm almost sure I'll be up for the medicine one. And that document with all those ideas you had. I think you're what we need to crack that. But, it is still going to take a few years. If we get that one we're getting it together."

"Okay." He cracked a smile and handed the watch back. "We better. Asshole."

"We will, fuckface."

* * *

The next day, miraculously, Nadia felt a lot better. She still wasn't feeling great but she was a far sight better than what she used to be. And she was able to be up and about as opposed to sitting sadly in her bed slowly dying. They were back in the lab working on stuff. She still had to sit but at least she could work. They had her working on a part that made interstitial fluid. She had been working on it for ages now and was relieved when she was finally able to solder the last connection. With that done, she walked up behind Krupin and tapped him gently on the shoulder. He flinched violently and spun to look at her. Nadia took a step back, surprised.

"Oh, sorry."

He shook his head. "No no, I just… haven't gotten much sleep lately. Has me a bit frazzled." His hands shook slightly and he put them on the table, resting his weight on them. She glanced at the fresh bruises on his cheekbones and brow ridges, not long ago he had gotten back from another session with 'John Smith'.

"You should take a break, get some rest."

His hands fidgeted, tapping in a wave formation as he smiled at her. "No I'm fine. I like to keep my mind busy. At Vozmet if it's going slow I just draw stuff, or I dunno, do sudoku. Shit like that."

"You alright then?"

He shrugged, a smile playing on his lips. "Same as always, dunno how good that is though, to be honest."

She nodded, "Okay, well I got this thing done." She placed the interstitial producer on the table next to him.

"Great! I wrote down the steps to getting it hooked to the… combiner or whatever it's called." He glanced to the side, "I should really think of a cool sounding name for that…. Anyways see if you can get it working. Don't hesitate to ask if you have any trouble." There was something in his voice. It was almost too optimistic and cheery. She gave a slight nod then returned to where she was working. As Brenley passed her a bit later to go get something, she tugged his sleeve slightly.

"Hey… is he okay?" She nodded her head slightly in the direction of Krupin. "He seems a bit… off."

He paused, glancing over at him. "I dunno. I think what they're doing is starting to take a toll. But, I think- I think he'll be okay. It takes a lot to, shake him."

"Okay… you sure?"

"Pretty sure."

"Alright."

He glanced at the instructions Krupin had given her for her next job. "You got this?"

"Yeah, I think so."

"Aright. We can take a break in a bit."

"Okay."

He nodded and headed off back to his place at the microscope. Out of the three of them, he was the best at manipulating the miniscule tools set up on the stage. It had started giving him headaches from squinting down the eyepieces so much but they all had to just power through everything to get the synthesizer done as quickly as possible. Not only did they want to get everyone off the planet but while he never spoke of it, Krupin obviously could not go through the daily torture forever. Nadia and Brenley had an unspoken agreement that they'd work as hard as possible for his sake.

* * *

The man at the clinic desk stared as a GIRA member walked up to him. His eyes flicked to the gun on his belt.

"I need to uh, see the doctor." His voice was hesitant. "Bandages need to be changed." He took off a balaclava he was wearing to keep out the cold, showing his heavily bandaged face. His left eye was covered in an eyepatch.

"Oh right. Uh. Just, go in."

He nodded and walked past him into the room. Scott looked up, slightly surprised. "Is it just you?" Every other time the bandages needed to be changed, John had accompanied him.

"Yeah… he said he had stuff to do." He slowly took his jacket and shirt off, being careful of the healing wounds.

Scott stepped forward and pulled up a chair. "What's your name? I can't keep calling you 'injured guy'." He seemed hesitant to answer. Scott sighed. "You don't have to give me your full name. Even just a nickname."

"...Jim."

"Right, well Jim, after this you won't need the bandages too much longer."

"Okay." He glanced down, speaking softly. "Thank you."

"It's my job." He started gently undoing the bandages around his face.

Jim fiddled with his thumbs. "What's your name?"

"Scott."

"Don't doctors usually go by their last name?"

"If you want to call me Dr. Zilberschlag go ahead. But I've found it to be a bit of a mouthful." Jim actually laughed at that. Scott smiled. "Hey man, that's my last name, don't laugh."

"Zilberschlag? Are you serious?"

"Unfortunately."

There was a long pause before Jim looked at him. He frowned slightly. "Are you Jewish?"

"I am."

"Why are you treating me?"

"Because your charming father will put a bullet in my brain if I don't."

"I'm sorry."

Scott bundled away some of the dirty bandages. "That's a new one. Haven't heard that from one of you yet."

"Well my charming father isn't quite charming to me either." He glanced to the side as Scott started unwrapping a bandage on his shoulder. "Don't tell him I said that."

"No need to worry about that. The only time I'll tell that man something is if he forces it out of me." Neither of them spoke for a bit as Scott disinfected the wounds and started re-applying bandages. Eventually, Scott spoke up. "You're a lot more quiet when your dad is here."

"Yeah… I just don't want him to get mad if I say something wrong."

"Right."

"What kind of doctor are you? You seem to kinda do everything."

"Um, technically I'm an ER surgeon. But the hospital I used to work at started getting low on funds so I kind of had to diversify. Everyone did. We didn't want it to close. But, it did. So that's why I'm here."

"Oh. Sorry about that."

"It's okay. It was going to fold eventually." He finished up and got out a notepad. "Here… I can write down instructions on how to change these. Shouldn't be too hard."

"Thanks but… I uh, I can't read. I never learned."

"Oh. Did you never go to school?"

"No. My dad raised me. I never really left the house."

There was a short pause as Scott processed that. He spoke softly. "Did you want to come here. Your dad said you did."

Jim looked down, mumbling slightly. "I wasn't really allowed to have an opinion. It was just, something that was happening. Whether I liked it or not."

Scott looked at him for a few long seconds. The guy really did look to be pretty young. And his face showed he definitely did not want to be here. "Right… Well uh, maybe you could have someone read them to you. Or just have someone else do it. Or, you could come back here." His voice raised at the end, making it a slight question.

Jim stared at him for a second. "If it's alright, I might just… come back."

"Yeah. That works. In about three days. Just, try and come when your dad has something to do huh."

Jim nodded. The corner of his mouth quirked up ever so slightly. "Yeah. I will."

"Alright. I'll see you later then."

As Jim opened the door to leave, he paused for a second. "Thank you, Scott Zilberschlag."

Scott paused. "Just know that, without my help you would have died. Not that I had much choice but to help… but still. Next time you pick up that gun remember a jew saved you. And remember that none of your Nazi friends even knew how to stop the bleeding."

Jim stared at him, his face struggling to hide some sort of emotion, then he nodded. "I will."

* * *

To pass the time when they weren't working, they had decided to start playing dungeons and dragons. Krupin volunteered to plan a campaign as Brenley, Nadia, and James made characters. It was set in a kind of urban fantasy world. Once they were all done, they gathered around the kitchen table. Krupin leaned back in his chair.

"Alright. Why don't you start Ellie. No need to do the full backstory yet. Let's just get all the characters… on the table so to speak."

"Alright. Well. My character is a french elf drag queen bard named Dómina Trixie. Um… her 'instrument' is that she can lip sync like a motherfucker and has a boombox she carries around to do that. Also she constantly wears platform heels and has a negative dex modifier. Oh and she's very dramatic and flamboyant."

Nadia was very glad she wasn't the only one with a weird character. Krupin chuckled. "Of course."

Nadia grinned. "So you're gay and french and your character is gay and french."

"Waters this extremely over the top dramatic elf in a miniskirt is not a self insert." He glanced to the side, tilting his head. "Okay maybe a little."

They all laughed at that.

"Okay." Krupin said. "James?"

"Um. He's a half horse-headed minotaur half centaur disgraced catholic priest."

They all burst out laughing. "What?" Nadia said, grinning. "What is a half horse-headed minotaur half centaur?"

"Like a centaur with a horse head on top of the human torso. His name is St. Florian and he got kicked out after declaring himself a saint. He wears a priest suit and a little pope hat kinda thing."

"How does he wear a suit?!" Brenley said, bent over laughing.

"With perseverance."

Nadia shook her head. "Okay but like… does he just have a suit top on or does he have like, a horse suit?"

"Horse suit! Excuse me St. Florian is a man of the cloth. He will not have his dick waving around for all to see."

"Good god I thought Dómina Trixie was weird." Brenley said.

"So I assume he's a cleric?" Krupin asked.

"Uh yeah. Even though he is… disgraced. So, yeah. That's my horse boy. Nadia?"

"Okay. Well." She shuffled her papers slightly. "I have a 20 year old white girl who did everything in her power to become a lolita version of Benjamin Franklin."

Brenley stared. "Excuse me what the fuck."

"You heard me bitch. She has tig ol' biddies cause she got implanted to hell and beyond. And she dresses in like, a lolita version of his period clothes and has curly dyed grey hair. Oh and she's a fighter because why the fuck not. She has a gun." She raised her first two fingers and her voice a good two octaves. "Kawaii! I invented the lightning rod!"

They all burst out into laughter and Brenley shook his head, grinning. "Nadia, James' character is one of the most hellish things I've heard of but fucking hell I actually  _despise_  what you've made."

Krupin buried his face in his hands. "This is going to be so hard to not kill off your fucking character I hate her so much."

Nadia grinned wickedly. "That's the point."

"What's her name? Just, Benjamin Franklin?"

"Bijin Franklin"

"And what the fuck does Bijin mean."

"I think like, a beautiful person? I dunno. Sky once bet me like 50 bucks that I couldn't memorize all of the terms in this hellish 'Anime terms' dictionary site we found so I am  _chock full_  of things for Bijin Franklin to say. Although part of her character is she knows absolutely fucking nothing about japanese culture or how the words are actually used so it's all just a big mess."

"Right." Krupin said. "So the party is a drag queen, a self declared horse saint, and a lolita Benjamin Franklin weeb. Fucking  _hell._ "

Brenley grinned. "This is gonna be the biggest fucking mess in the world. I love it."

"Can Bijin Franklin ride St. Florian?" Nadia asked James.

"No! St. Florian is a man of god. He will not be ridden like a farm animal."

She grinned. "Does he talk in third person."

"Absolutely yes."

Krupin put his elbow on the table, as if using it as a wall to block James and Nadia from his conversation with Brenley. "Ellie. Why is it that you, who is notorious for making weirdass characters, has the most normal character here."

"Man if I had known they were going in that direction I would have stepped the weirdness up!"

They started the campaign and got a few hours into it. Krupin turned out to be an excellent DM. Not only was the story crazy complex and well done, he also had a massive collection of character voices he could pull from. As for their own character voices, Nadia just raised her voice about twenty octaves, Brenley put on an outrageous accent, and James talked in a kind of regal way, as if he was addressing a crowd, and occasionally made horse noises. When they finally decided to stop for the night, it was almost 26, which would be midnight on Earth.

Krupin set his pencil down, letting out a long breath. "We should go outside."

Brenley frowned. "Why…?"

"Because I've been cooped up in here for almost a month and I want to get some fresh air and stuff. Plus, they already did their little session today so they won't come looking for me."

Brenley glanced at the others, shrugging.

"I'd be up for it." Nadia said.

"Alright. We'll go outside then."

James pushed his chair back from the table. "Probably should go get my outer clothes then huh."

"Probably a good idea." Brenley said, smiling slightly. "We'll meet you in the creepy drainage hole."

"Right. See you there."

A few minutes later, Nadia was lacing her boots up, idly watching Brenley got through his 'boot routine'. Hed carefully insert his foot, wiggle it around a bit while frowning, before taking it out and adjusting the sock. Once he got the seam on the toe in what he thought was a good position, he'd insert his foot again. Normally it took about two readjustments of his sock before he'd lace up. Today though, he was on his fifth attempt. He put his foot in and tested it out for a second before grumbling.

"For  _fucks_ sake." He took his foot out and adjusted the sock then tried again. "God  _damnit_!" He violently took his boot off and threw it to the floor before putting his head in his hands, rubbing his brows in frustration. Krupin frowned.

"You okay Ellie?"

"What does it look like? I can't get the fucking seam right."

Krupin went over, putting his hand out to touch his shoulder but Brenley shrunk away. Krupin apparently knew not to press it and retracted his hand. Instead, he sat opposite him. "We can trade socks if you want. I only just put these on. They might have smaller seams." Brenley seemed a bit hesitant so Krupin quickly unlaced his boots and took them off. He displayed one of his socks. "Look, small seams. I don't mind trading."

"Okay…" He slipped his sock off and handed it to Krupin who gave him his own. Brenley tried it on and adjusted it a second before putting the boot on. He stared into the distance, frowning slightly and wiggling his foot around. Eventually he glanced down. "I think it's good."

Krupin grinned. "There we go. You just need new socks. You can keep that pair." He peeled off the other one and handed it over.

"Are you sure?" He said, swapping the socks.

"Yeah. Go ahead. Seams don't bother me that much."

Brenley looked down as he put the other sock on. "...Sorry." His face was slightly red.

"Don't apologize! It's okay."

"I'm holding us up."

"I don't mind." Nadia said, shrugging.

He didn't seem to believe her.

"I'm serious Brenley. I don't mind."

He nodded slowly and then got up. As they walked towards the tunnel he was strangely quiet, his hands shoved deep in his pockets.

The cool air outside was leaking through the outer layers and bit at the exposed skin around her eyes and nose. It was worth it though, to be able to see the sky and breathe fresh air. Without any pollution to speak of, light or otherwise, the sky over Nephelai was breathtaking. Stars twinkled, filling almost every inch of black. The nose of the porpoise galaxy jutted from the horizon in the west. Denser than the arm of the milky way seen over earth but shorter. Their exhaled breath fogged into the air, creating tiny clouds that mirrored the ones spread out beneath them. It was weird seeing entirely different stars. You'd think that someone not too interested in constellations wouldn't notice but it was surreally different. It wasn't immediately noticeable but something was definitely off. Nadia hadn't even seen stars in ages, she hadn't really had the chance to see the stars from nephelai yet and salus was always in a constant dusk. The last time she had seen stars while not on a starship was back on mars. Where she could point out the big dipper, cassiopeia, orion, and none others.

She glanced over at the others. James was sitting close enough that she could see the impossibly bright stars reflected in his eyes. Past him, Brenley and Krupin sat up against a rock, Krupin leaned into him, his head resting gently against his shoulder. The tip of one of Brenley's braids peeked out from under his scarf. Krupin shifted, his breath fogged out from behind the cloth.

"Ellie, tell us about space."

"That's a little broad."

"I know fuck all about physics. Start with, light."

"You do know you are going to start a very long rant."

"Yes I do. Wouldn't have asked if I didn't."

Brenley turned his head to look at James and Nadia. "You guys mind?" They shook their heads. "Okay, light. It's both a wave and a photon. I'll start with what the wave is. Imagine you have a copper tube, say about… three feet in length. And you take a magnet that looks like a pill, north on one side south on the other. And you drop it down the tube. Copper is not magnetic, you'd expect it to just fall right through. But with three feet it will probably take about, four seconds. Give or take. So, one one thousand... two one thousand... three one thousand... four one thousand. This is due to Faraday's law of induction."

James glanced at Nadia. He whispered, " _Light?_ "

She smiled and whispered back. " _He'll get to it._ "

Eventually, he did. Even though it took an entire explanation of how magnetic fields are produced in the copper pipe because the moving magnet caused electrons to move in a circle, which produced a circular electric field, which in turn produced a magnetic field that imitated a magnet, with the south pole at the top. And given the south pole of the original magnet was at the bottom, they repelled and slowed the magnets descent. Then he went into how the same principle applies when a moving electron produces a wave in the electric field, and the moving electric field in turn creates a moving magnetic field which creates a moving electric field on and on through space, sustaining each other forever. And that was light. Then he started talking about how light always travels in straight lines, and moved onto reflection and refraction, then lenses. He went fast, as he always did. His hands moved in the air, demonstrating the right hand rules for determining the direction of the magnetic force compared to the flow of electrons, one rule involved his hand forming into the shape of a thumbs up with his other four fingers curled in a loose circle, like he was holding a pole of some sort. The other involved pointing his pointer finger out straight, the thumb up, and the middle finger perpendicular to both so it created an x y and z axis. His pencil remained in his jacket. And even when he wasn't demonstrating with his hands he didn't take it out. For once, his fingers remained still, not fidgeting at all. Krupin, Nadia, and James just sat in silence, listening to him and watching the stars. He talked for hours. Even from this distance Nadia could see the crinkle in his eyes as he smiled. Eventually he paused, now on the subject of the French scientist DeBroglie who proposed that like light, matter is a wave.

"What time is it?"

James shrugged. "Who cares."

"I've been talking for hours."

Krupin mumbled. "Yeah, it's interesting babe. Keep going."

"You never let me talk this long."

"Because usually we run out of time. Now we have a ton of it. Keep going."

"Fine with me."

So he did. He moved from there onto how different frequencies of light affected matter, then onto how light could be bent with a black hole and ended up on relativity. It went on another few hours when they finally decided to go in. But not before they sat for a couple minutes. James glanced at Brenley.

"Why do you teach chemistry and biology? I mean you're super good at them but you seem so interested in physics."

"I am. But I like the conceptual stuff. I'm alright with math but, I don't like math in physics. For some reason, it takes all of the fun out of it. I don't mind it with chemistry and biology. I think it's because physics and astrophysics, theyre a special interest of mine. Which is a thing autistic people have. It's like, something you're really really interested in and know as much as you can about and love telling people about it. And math, ruins it for me. And there's a lot of math in physics. So I went with chemistry and biology."

"Huh. Well, that was super interesting so, thank you."

Brenley stared at him for a second. "Yeah. No problem. Always happy to rant about physics."

As they all got up to go back inside, Nadia and James split off to go and watch one of the few movies they had access to while Brenley and Krupin went back to the rooms and sat at the kitchen table. Krupin nodded and pointed at the document he was writing ideas down on, setting his spoon down. "Yeah I think if we do this we should be good."

Brenley seemed almost uninterested. "Mm."

"And then maybe we can jack up the speed of the chambers, I've had some ideas for that."

"Mm hmm."

Krupin paused and looked up at him. "You okay?"

Brenley sighed. "I'm sorry Fil. It's just that, I'm really tired and it's been a long day and I'm out of spoons or whatever the fuck. And, I know you're hungry but that crunchy ass cereal is  _killing_ me."

Krupin glanced down at his bowl then back at Brenley. "Shit. I'm sorry. I forgot that in the evening…"

"It's fine."

"Here, why don't you go to bed. I might work on this a bit more and we can talk about it in the morning."

"Really? I mean, I might be able to help."

"No it's fine, go to bed. You look so tired it's making me tired."

Brenley smiled slightly and stood up. "Okay. don't stay up too late." He walked around behind him and leaned down, hugging him. "Love you."

Krupin patted the arm that wrapped around his chest. "Love you too. I'll be in in a bit."

"Alright. G'night." He kissed him on the cheek before unwrapping his arms and heading off towards the bedroom.

When she got back to the rooms, Nadia watched Krupin as he positioned himself on the carpet and started doing push ups. There wasn't enough space in his and Brenley's room. She had never seen someone do push ups so… perfectly. His back didn't waver a bit, it almost looked freaky how steady it was. He got through 45 of them, she counted, before sitting back on his haunches, taking a few deep breaths. He then started on situps, wedging his feet under the couch to get leverage. It was a daily ritual of his. Hed run through the same set of exercises before stretching for a few minutes then going to bed. As he finished, he got up and dusted his hands. Nadia watched him go over to the kitchen, getting a glass of water. Her eyes caught on the broadness of his shoulders, the wide muscles on his back. He certainly was no arnold schwarzenegger, there was a good layer of fat over his muscles, but you could still see their swells under his skin. She traced the line of his deltoid, squinting slightly. Did he just get that from doing those exercises every day?

It was also obvious under his white shirt that he had a tattoo on his shoulder blade.

She gestured. "You got a tattoo?"

He glanced over his shoulder, as if he was checking it was still there. "Yep. It's a marigold. Kind of, in honor of Teresa. My sister." He clarified.

"Why a marigold?"

"They're used during dia de los muertos. As a way of guiding the dead back to the living. I also have a quote from a poem she loved on it."

Nadia frowned slightly at the reference to day of the dead. He realized what her confused expression was for and smiled slightly. "Remember I said my mom's an immigrant? You can hazard a guess where she's from."

"Really? You're…?"

"Half mexican? Yep. I know. Blonde hair blue eyes, it's a bit weird. But, genetics are inherently weird."

She grinned. "Inherently?"

"Unintended." He said, rolling his eyes slightly.

"So can you speak spanish?"

"Yeah. I grew up in a mainly latino neighborhood. And my mom can barely speak english. I'd be lying if I said being able to speak spanish wasn't one of the reasons I chose the research head at Vozmet, Carlos. Nice to be able to speak it."

"I did it in high school. Though I can promise you I've forgotten nearly everything I learned."

"¿Cuántos años estudiaste?"

"Ooh I got that! Cuatro."

He grinned. "Good job. You understood a three letter sentence."

"Why thank you." She stood up, sighing. "Well, I'm off to bed."

He nodded. "Night."

"Night." As she left, she watched him grab the neckline of his shirt and lift it, using it to wipe the sweat from his face.

Once she got into her room she pushed some stuff around the floor. Her room was the same size as the other but she was able to have her bed all the way up against a wall, unlike Brenley and Krupin who had to have theirs in the middle given two people used it. As she got her shit piled off to the sides she took a deep breath and started doing push ups. How on  _earth_ did Krupin do his so perfectly? Her arms shook and quavered, as did her abdominal muscles. She struggled through six. Kind of pitiful. But, it was a starting point. With that done, she started on situps.

**Meanwhile, in Washington DC, United States, Earth**

The TV yammered on. "The memorial for those killed on nephelai as well as those who are still alive and being held hostage is going on today in washington-"

Kristina sighed, and switched it off, watching the buildings flash by the car as it drove down the street. The only thing the news covered at this point was Nephelai. Not like there was much to cover. Other than the videos of Krupin being tortured that were released onto their website almost daily, they got zero updates from the locked planet. She hated those videos, couldn't bare to watch them. Nevermind the fact that stills of his face contorted in pain were plastered in every goddamn newspaper and magazine. But, at least she knew he was alive. Most people who had family or friends on the planet had no idea of the status of their loved ones. She didn't really know why she had decided to come to the memorial. But she was here. They had basically asked the families to provide pictures so they could be put up on a wall. Krupin didn't really have family who would provide a picture so this fell to her.

She sighed, past the security guard, people milled around inside. The pictures had already started to go up, forming a grid. She clutched her own picture, one Feliks had taken of them when they had visited London. He had his arm around her shoulder and was grinning at the camera. She cut most of herself out of the picture before she brought it. Her palms were weirdly sweaty, it was the first time really acknowledging the fact that Feliks might never come back. She took a deep breath and pushed the door open, stepping out. The security guard looked up as she approached.

"Who are you here for?"

"Feliks Krupin."

"And how are you related?"

"I'm uh, his friend."

The guard shook his head. "I'm sorry but it's relatives only."

She raised her eyebrows. "You're kidding me right?"

"Nope, it's relatives only."

"He doesn't have any relatives! And- and he's my best friend in the world!" She showed him the picture. "See? That's me."

"I'm sorry, I can't let you in unless you're related."

She was seriously considering bribing him when a tall man approached from the other side of the barrier. He had dark coppery skin and rather nice clothes on. He walked up to the security guard.

"Hey man, I know her, let her in." She had no idea who this was. He had a strong French accent and she'd never even been to France.

"I'm sorry-"

"Okay, Feliks may be famous but his only sister died and his parents are out of the picture. She's all he's got okay? I promise you, if you don't let her in, you won't get any visits from his relatives, she's the closest he's got." How on earth did he know that?

The guard paused for a second before opening the gate, "Okay, you can go in."

She glared slightly at him. " _Thank you._ " The man who had helped started walking with her towards the wall and she frowned at him. "Who are you? You'd be able to find out about his sister from some other source but he keeps the stuff about his parents quiet."

He smiled, he had a very pleasant smile. "My name is Braiden. I'm Elias' brother." He raised the picture he had. "I don't know if Feliks told you about him."

"Yeah he did. Can I see that?" She pointed at the picture he held.

"Yup." He handed it to her and she looked it over. It was him with who she assumed was his sister. They were sitting on some sort of garden wall smiling at the camera.

"He looks nice."

"Yeah… he is. He's uh, he's a good brother. So I'm going to hazard a guess that you're Kristina Mohren."

She nodded. "Oh yeah, sorry for that, didn't introduce myself. Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you."

Kristina looked back down at the picture of Elias. "What's he like? I- I kind of want to know what kind of person Feliks would fall in love with." He raised his eyebrows a bit and she suddenly realized why. "Shit. Did you not know?"

He smiled. "Oh I knew. Elias just, hasn't told us yet."

She handed back the photo. "Ah. So, what is he like?"

He shrugged as they perused the wall of pictures already up. "I mean, he's nice, and funny and a bit weird. But like, in a good way."

They found an empty spot on the wall and Kristina gestured. "Here seems alright." She took a pushpin from the bowl nearby and stuck it into the wall, hanging the picture. Braiden grabbed a pin as well.

"We should hang them together."

"Yeah… yeah. From what Feliks told me they're really close."

He hung Brenley's picture next to Krupin's. They stared at them for a second before Kristina spoke.

"So are the rest of your family here?"

"No. Just me. I was coming here anyways for a work conference in a few weeks so I thought I would take some time off and come early."

"Oh, what do you do?"

"I'm a doctor, well, surgeon. Neurosurgery."

She gave an appreciative nod. "That as hard as it's made out to be?"

"I mean, it was hard to learn but I guess it's still just a job really. Is it hard to run a Fortune 500?"

She smiled. "When the CEO fucks around with science it can be."

That made him chuckle and they both looked back at the pictures.

She glanced over. "So do you have long hours or what?"

" _Oh yes._ "

"I know that feel."

He fished into his pocket and produced his wallet, shelling out a twenty. "Twenty bucks I work longer hours than you."

She grinned at it. "Alright, you're on. How many?"

"Nah nah nah. I don't play like that. If I say a number you can just say a higher one."

"Alright, fine. We both write it on our phones then show each other."

They did that, and on the count of three, showed their phones to each other. Kristina had written down '70' she gaped at Braidens phone which said '80+ (sometimes up to 100)'

"What? When do you sleep?"

"I don't. I'm dying. But anyways. Pay up."

She got out a twenty and handed it to him. "That's crazy."

"Yeah. But, I'm a resident and they work a lot. I think the workload is supposed to get slightly lighter once I finish? Hopefully anyways."

"Huh." Kristina frowned at Brenley's photo and name tag before looking back at Braiden.

"Wait. So your name is Braiden Brenley? Please tell me your middle name starts with Br as well."

"It's Brent."

"Really?"

"Not at all." He grinned. "No yeah I've heard all of the… fuck. What's the word? Similar beginning sounds?"

"Alliteration?"

"Yeah! I've heard all the alliteration jokes."

She shook her head, smiling. He was kind of the definition of 'tall dark and handsome' but instead of being the stoic classy character that came with that description, he was just a bit of a dork. Even in this situation he was weirdly happy. He seemed like the kind of person where if he had a kid he'd instantly embarrass them by dancing to the music that played in the background of a grocery store.

He looked around. "Isn't like the president supposed to show up at some point?"

"Yeah. I think so."

The crowd quieted and they could see in the corner some security men as the president was escorted in.

"Ah." Braiden said, "Speak of the devil. Not that… the president's a devil. I actually quite like her."

"Yeah, Same."

She made a speech which was just about the exact speech one would expect from the president in this situation. Thoughts went out to all the victims and their families and whatnot. As she finished up and left the stage, Kristina patted Braiden lightly on the arm. "Here. C'mon."

He started to follow her then stared as he saw who they were approaching. "Wait. I can't talk to the president!"

"Why not?"

"Because- shes the  _president_."

"She's not scary. C'mon wuss."

He grinned and stepped forward, catching up to her. "I'm not a wuss. Lets go."

"Hm. Handy that now I know how to get you to do something."

"That's such a creepy statement. What, you want to use me as a hitman? I mean I know how to make the brain stop working but I think anyone with a baseball bat knows that."

She chuckled. "Well apparently if I say you're too much of a wuss to kill someone I can get you to do that."

"Eh."

"Probably should stop talking about hitmen right about now."

"Good idea."

The security guard stopped them from getting any closer but Baker noticed and waved him aside. "It's okay. I know her."

They approached, Braiden attempting and failing to hold back his excitement. Baker nodded. "Good to see you here Kristina."

"I could say the same. Um, Elizabeth this is Dr. Braiden Brenley, his brother is a hostage." Braiden gave her a slight ironically impressed look when she called him Dr. "And Braiden this is, President Baker."

"Nice to meet you Doctor." She said, shaking his hand.

His face somehow sported an even wider grin than normal. "Nice to meet you!"

"Where are you from?"

"Beauvoir."

"Oh right. Long journey." She glanced to the side. "I suppose it's not much longer than the journey from Lincoln..."

"Yeah. But I have a medical conference here in a week or so so I decided just to come early."

"Right. Well, thank you for coming. And I'm very sorry about your brother. If I could do more, I would."

"I know your hands are kind of tied in this situation. So, thanks for what you have been doing."

Baker nodded and looked at Kristina. "How do you two know each other?"

"Oh we just met. His brother is one of Feliks' closest friends."

"Huh." She glanced around at all of the people. Most were staring at her. "Well, I better be off. I should, talk to other people. Show I'm not just here to make a speech and leave."

"Yeah yeah of course. Good to see you again."

"Good to see you again. Pleasure to meet you Dr. Brenley."

He nodded enthusiastically. "Pleasure to meet you."

As they walked away, Braiden grinned at her. He had kind of a wild grin, it was somehow a bit crazy and goofy at the same time. "What? You know the president?! You just- you just went up and talked to her!" He glanced away, his eyes wide. "Fuck I just talked to the president.  _What?!_  This is crazy!"

She chuckled at his unbridled enthusiasm. "You do know Feliks is on her science advisory board. Of course I've met her."

He crossed his arms and put his chin up, imitating an american accent. "Of course I've met the president. I run one of the biggest companies out there. No big deal."

She grinned at his imitation of her. "That what I sound like?"

"Yes, absolutely."

"Are you sure you're a neurosurgeon? You do  _not_ seem the type."

He gave her a not at all serious frown. "And what's that supposed to mean."

"Well you tend to associate neurosurgeons with being all tough and stern and serious."

"I can be serious!"

She squinted at him. "Hmmmmmm."

"I can." He said, exaggerating a pout.

"I'll just have to take your word."

They hung out for the rest of the time. Some other people made speeches and generally it was fairly boring, even if it was sad. She felt like she had to stay for the whole time though because Krupin was by far the most well known hostage and some reporters were there. It wouldn't be good press if she showed up for him then left after ten minutes. Finally, as people started to trickle out, she decided to leave. Braiden had left a few minutes ago. She had convinced him to stay longer than he was planning because she didn't want to look weird and alone. She took one last look at the pictures on the wall, there were so many of them. She stared for a few seconds before taking a deep breath and going out to where she had parked the car, then got in and sat down, sighing. "Gaylord?"

The smooth male robotic voice answered her. "Yes. Where would you like to go?"

"Just take me to the nearest starbucks."

"Calculating directions… Nearest starbucks is two minutes away on Greenwood Avenue. Would you like me to take you there?"

"Yes."

The car started with a hum and began to pull away. They never used this car for professional things, bringing clients places or whatnot. It was one of their older cars and when asked if they would like to change the name from the issued 'Edward' Feliks had immediately changed it to 'Gaylord' and for some reason it glitched a bit later and wouldn't let them change the name back. And it wasn't like they could go into a shop and tell the engineer that the CEO of Vozmet accidentally named a car 'Gaylord'. But, they wanted to use the car, they couldn't just let it go to waste. So she and Krupin tended to use it when it was just them. Gaylord pulled up to the starbucks and she got out, locking it. It was pretty busy and the line was longer than she'd like, but she contented to wait, scrolling through her phone. For some reason she couldn't take her mind off the weird goof of a neurosurgeon with a french accent. She cursed herself in her mind for not asking if he was free for lunch or something. Eventually, she got to the front of the line and ordered a latte before going over to the little table with sugar and milk and stuff.

Kristina tore open the sugar packet and started to pour it into the drink. A voice came from her right.

"Well hello again."

She turned to see Braiden standing behind her, holding a coffee. What were the chances of that? She couldn't help but smile. "Oh, hey. What are you doing here?"

He gestured with his cup. "I imagine the same as you, getting coffee." He glanced to the side. "Are you uh… getting that to go or what?"

She stared at him. "Are you suggesting I stay here and drink it with you."

He smiled. "That's one possibility."

Her weight shifted onto one foot. "Well I'm not due anywhere so… sure."

Braiden grinned. "Hell yeah."

That made her laugh slightly and shake her head. She glanced around the shop, spotting an open table. "Should we-"

He looked at where she was gesturing. "Yeah! Yeah."

As they sat down she asked him, "So you live in beauvoir?"

"Yeah."

"Lord your english is really good for living in a country that doesn't speak it."

"Why thank you. My parents speak it, not quite as fluently. And of course El lives in america."

"Was that your sister in the photo?"

"Yeah. Corina. She's seven years younger than me."

"Is she also in beauvoir?"

"No actually. She's in America. She's going to law school."

"Good god so your family is two phds and a lawyer?"

"If you count our parents, three phds and two lawyers."

"Jesus was that a lot of pressure growing up?"

He shrugged. "Actually no. Our parents are… pretty great. They always said they'd support us no matter what. If I wanted to be a DJ they'd probably support me. Just turns out that all of us wanted these jobs. We also may have had some friendly competition. I think El won though with fuckin' revolutionizing the health industry. I mean, our hospital has a few synthesizers. It's weird to think that my brother helped invent them every time I pass them. I mean christ I don't even understand how they work."

"I don't and I run the damn company."

He laughed. "Nice." His eyes flicked to the side. "What do you like, do in the company? Like, you kind of run it together right?"

She spoke out of the side of her mouth. " _I run it_." She smiled, shaking her head. "No, technically he's the CEO and I'm the president. So he kind of, sets goals I guess? And then I actually, get them done. But… more on the business side of things. He does the science. I dunno, it's complicated."

"Right."

"Have you met Feliks then?"

"Yeah. He came to Beauvoir over winter break one year. But it was a while back. I was… nineteen. I think. He's a nice guy."

"Yeah, he is. Kind of annoyingly nice. He gets along with everyone."

"Charisma plus ten."

"Good lord you play dungeons and dragons."

He laughed. "Not a fan?"

"Feliks got me to play a bit. It's alright. Not really my thing."

"Mm. I can get that. Not for everyone."

They continued talking long after their coffees were done. He was very easy to talk to. When there was a lull in the conversation she would never know what to say, happened with everybody, but he was always able to save it from being awkward. Eventually, she knew she had to join in on a meeting with a video call so she had to leave, but not before he asked her to dinner. To which she definitely said yes.


	9. Chapter 9

**Late October**

The day had been long and just like all of the other days. They worked and ate food that had to be non perishable so it was either something you added water to or something in a can, not exactly thrilling. Nadia never thought she'd be without internet for so long, she was getting pretty damn bored. Already, she had watched almost all the movies Brenley had downloaded on his laptop and read almost all the books he brought. She could probably recite Star Wars word for word. He had more movies but they watched those a lot. He was using his laptop so she couldn't watch one of the few she hadn't seen right now. At this point she had started scrolling through her phone, looking through her photos and other stuff she had saved. She was now scrolling through her text conversation with Sky. A smile tugged at her mouth as she read the bullshit jokes they sent each other, one of them actually made her laugh and she shook her head, grinning like an idiot at the screen. It was when they had discovered a picture of an anthropomorphic lobster on the internet and Sky had declared it was the only man she'd ever consider marrying. Nadia's smile slowly fell as she realized with disturbing clarity that she might never see her again. God damnit she missed her. She set her phone down and sighed.

There was a slight noise off to the right and she glanced over, Krupin had finished making the sandwiches he was working on and walked over, collapsing back onto the couch next to Brenley who plucked one off the plate and started eating it. They were watching Star Wars for the 1000th time. It really was the only thing to do. Krupin said something she couldn't quite hear and the two of them laughed. Nadia glanced at her phone then back at them. None of the couples she knew were like them. That's why she hadnt particularly minded that she wasn't in a relationship. They all seemed to just, tolerate each other. Or maybe they liked each other but without the physical attraction they would probably just be vaguely friends. But Brenley and Krupin, they were best friends, and it showed. They constantly joked around with each other and made fun of each other in a lighthearted way. Nadia knew that even her parents weren't that close. Brenley spoke around a mouthful of sandwich and Krupin chuckled, lightly slapping Brenley's leg.

 _That's_ what she wanted. Someone who she'd never get bored with, even if they were watching Star Wars for the millionth time. She looked back at her phone, scrolling through the conversation, her face falling slightly as her thoughts went back to Sky. She had never been this long without at least talking to her. Even on breaks they'd text each other every day. She sighed and stood back from the table, sliding her phone back into her pocket, then went over to one of the cushioned chairs in front of the tv.

As she approached, she stole one of the slices of sandwich, prompting a complaint from Brenley, which she ignored. "Why are we watching the prequels?"

"To laugh at them." Brenley said. "Also to watch them all through in one go, chronologically."

"In one go? Jesus you'll be here a week!"

"Not in one go. Just, chronologically I suppose."

"Alright, I'll join." She slumped onto the couch and bit into the sandwich. It was about as good as a sandwich could get given the mold-proof ingredients that made everything taste almost pasty. They watched for a good few hours before stopping and just lounging around. Krupin decided to get his computer out and start working on some programming stuff for the machines. Eventually, Brenley let out a long breath and got up, touching Krupin's shoulder.

"Alright, I'm going to bed."

"Okay. I might stay up a bit longer."

"Alright." He leaned over and kissed the top of his head. "Don't stay up too late."

"Yeah. Night."

When Nadia went to bed a few hours later, Krupin was still up working. She paused right before she went in her room. "You going to bed?"

"Yup. In a second."

"Okay. Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

She closed her door behind her and did her exercises. She was up to twelve pushups now, still wasn't that many but she was making progress. With that done, she changed and crawled into bed.

That night as she lay in bed and stared at the ceiling, she admitted something that she had been vaguely denying to herself for probably a week now. She was kind of in love with Sky. Great time to realize this, while in a hostage situation and literally an entire universe away. It was probably because of that that she realized. The fact that she hadn't seen or talked to her since the connection was cut off made her catch on to just what she felt. Anyways what was she going to do about it? Even if they did get together there was that bullshit law. Even if they did get together. Hah. Like that was going to happen. She knew Sky was gay, they were close enough that Sky talked about her relationships with her. But Sky's type was far from Nadia. She was fairly feminine but she always dated feminine girls. They were usually kind of short and very upbeat and cute, far from Nadia's vaguely androgynous kinda tall cynical mess of a self.

What the hell was she going to do. Tell Sky and potentially fuck their friendship up or not tell her and always wonder if it could have happened. Even that was getting ahead of herself. They might die up here. She turned over, groaning to herself in her head. Of  _course_ this had to happen. And there wasn't like there was anybody on this stupid planet she could ask for advice or something.

She turned over in bed again. " _Fuck._ " Tears quietly came to her eyes and she eventually cried herself to sleep. About this whole situation, and how she thought no one would love her and how there was probably a good chance she'd never even see Sky again. About everything really.

* * *

When Krupin woke up, he was greeted by Brenley sitting across from him. Brenley frowned slightly. "Why did you sleep on the couch?"

Krupin blinked sleepily a couple of times. "Mph. Sorry. I accidentally fell asleep."

"I'm sure if you were more awake you would come up with a better excuse. You're under a blanket Feliks. And in your pajamas." He nodded at the bit of white shirt that stuck out from under the blanket.

Krupin looked down, seeing that Brenley was right. He sighed and leaned his head back against the pillow. "The other night, I didn't get up early. Well, I did. I got up at 22. and came out here to sleep."

"Why?"

It took him a few seconds to respond. "...Because I've been getting nightmares." He paused. "I woke up seven times last night. Each time I'd thrown the blanket off. I didn't want to keep waking you up." He sat up and folded the blanket back. "See?" His shirt was practically soaked through.

Brenley raised his eyebrows. "Holy shit."

"Yeah."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine. It's just dreams."

Brenley sat down next to him. "Feliks you don't have to sleep on the couch."

"I don't want to wake you up."

"Just… try it out for a night."

"Are you sure? I mean, I kicked the blanket off."

"Yeah."

Krupin looked down. "Okay. Okay I'll try it for a night." There was a short pause as Krupin repositioned himself, resting his elbow on the couch and looking down.

"Are you okay?" Brenley said, softly.

"I'm fine."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Okay. I'm gonna get some breakfast." He stood up and started to walk towards the kitchen. As he passed the end of the couch Krupin spoke up.

"Wait." He turned. "I'm not. I'm not fine."

Brenley paused.

"I'm just used to people picking up on the way I say that that, I'm lying. I forgot that, you just take me at my word." He glanced away, shaking his head. "I don't know what to do. I can't survive this. But I know I have to. For everyone here."

Brenley walked back and put his arm around his shoulders, Krupin leaned into him, his eyes hooded. Brenley murmured. "We'll get off this planet."

"And what if we don't. What if everything fails."

"I don't know."

Krupin looked down again, fiddling with the blanket. "What if I killed myself."

"What?"

"If everything fails. If the plan doesn't work and we end up trapped here for  _years_. As long as I'm alive they won't stop."

"What do you mean? They- they just want money, right?"

He shook his head. "No." Brenley frowned and he let out a long breath, rubbing his forehead. "They want me to work for them. To make synthesizers for them. You know how  _bad_ that could be. That John Smith… Cunt suggested making a bacteria that targets people with high melanin production. They want me to help them commit  _genocide._  That money thing is just propaganda. The public will get mad at the government this way."

Brenley stared at him, lost for words. Eventually he found them. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because- because now you know everything's on me."

"You should tell Heidi."

"Fuck, having everyone know, that's too much fucking pressure. Every time people will be waiting to see if this is the time I fold."

"You don't have to tell everyone, just her."

"I dunno…"

"She should know what's going on."

"Yeah, alright I'll tell her."

Brenley glanced away, his brow furrowed. "Couldn't you… stall? Say you'll work for them but then not really do anything?"

"I can't stall for as long as this thing is gonna take for us to make. Anyways they have some guys who have done as much research into Vozmet that they can. They know how long things take. I just have to keep fucking enduring this." He rubbed his shoulder. "Christ…"

"I'm know 'I'm sorry' doesn't come remotely close to covering it but, I'm sorry."

"Mm. Let's talk about something else. Less I have to think about… all that, the better."

"Okay. Just, don't even think about what happens if the plan fails. If it comes to that, we'll figure something out. Like hell are you killing yourself. It probably wouldn't save everyone here so don't even think about it."

"Okay. Now, something else."

"Like what?"

"Fuck if I know."

Nadia wandered out into the living room a few minutes later, yawning, and caught the last bit of what Brenley was saying.

"-I'd fuck Oscar Wilde."

She frowned. "What?"

Both of them turned to look at her and Brenley grinned. "What would you do if you could go back in time and do one thing. And it has to not affect history much. Like, you couldn't kill hitler."

"You'd fuck Oscar Wilde if you could do  _one thing_ in the past?"

"Yes?! How is that even a question."

"Hes kinda weird looking."

"But if he could get some in those days, he's probably a pretty good lay."

"You got some in these days."

He chuckled. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"That maybe it was easier than you expect?"

He shrugged. "Still. Just to be able to say I did it, that's enough for me."

"And you?" Nadia said to Krupin.

"Well, he didn't really explain well. It started with what we'd do, then it kinda turned into which historical figures we'd have sex with. I said Alexander the Great."

"Gotta get some of that conqueror ass."

"Exactly."

"Alright waters, your turn." Brenley said, grinning.

"Hmm... Dorothy Wilde."

"Who?"

"Oscar Wilde's lesbian niece." Both of them stared at her and she blushed slightly, pressing her fingers together. "I'm uh… kinda bi."

Brenley grinned and slapped Krupin's shoulder. "Hah! Fucker! What did I say!"

Krupin grumbled. "We were both wrong, idiot."

She looked between them, confused. "What?"

Turns out they had taken bets on whether or not she was straight. Money wouldn't really work so it was to do the dishes for two weeks. Given that Brenley had said gay, not bi, she had to negotiate a deal. Ending up with Krupin doing the dishes for a week because he was kind of less right.

"How long have you known?" Brenley asked, a smile on his face.

"Only about a week maybe. And not really even then. Just kinda, thought maybe…" She trailed off and shrugged. "What about you two? About yourselves I mean."

Brenley shrugged as well. "When I was really young I'd have crushes on boys but I didn't really know what that meant. Then I was ten and was like…  _Oh."_

"Ten? Jesus. Beat me out by thirteen years."

"Yeah but you probably had crushes on boys just like most other girls. Makes sense it would take longer."

"Mm. You?" She said, glancing at Krupin.

"Twelve I think. Yeah because it was the year the law went into place."

"Yeesh."

"Yup. Here, now you're up we should probably start working again."

"You're fun."

An hour or so into working, Heidi walked in. There were two doors to go through to get to the lab separated by a long hallway. The first door had a fairly simple keypad lock they had set to keep GIRA out. Sometimes the men would do patrols but since they had put up a sign indicating that the door with the keypad had dangerous equipment behind it, so far they hadn't had anyone check. It wasn't like GIRA couldn't break down the door or force someone to open the lock, but in that time, they'd be able to hide what they were working on. They'd probably get punished in some way for the lock but it would be way worse if GIRA figured out what they were doing.

Even though the only reason someone could walk in the door with ease was because they knew the code, Nadia still always jumped slightly when someone came in. She was very relieved when she saw it was Heidi.

She walked over to one of the lab tables, glancing at the three of them. "How's it coming?"

Krupin raised his eyebrows and glanced around. "Uh, pretty good. Not glitches or setbacks. I mean, still gonna take awhile but just because these things are crazy complex. And we already pared it down as much as we could."

She nodded slowly. "Mm. Alright."

Nadia leaned against the counter. "What then? Once we have this done?"

"Well we still kind of need to figure that out. I think we need to get weapons somehow. Because, as soon as we make a break for it they're going to know. That's what the armor is for. Hopefully we won't be facing them head on, but we still need to be able to hold our own. Then we need some people to somehow sneak into their base, which they seem to have set up around the beyersdorf station, and take down the wormhole. Then join the others on 223 where we have a ship big enough for everyone. And Tavis can fly us out. I think I told you about him."

"How do we get weapons though?" Krupin said.

Nadia shrugged. "We could corner one of 'em, outside or something. They have patrols outside. Just pluck one up with a banshee or something and interrogate him on where they keep their weapons. They've gotta have some sort of storage room."

"What do we do then? Like, with him. Can't just let him go back to the others."

"Kill him?"

All of them stared at her and she made an exaggerated shrug. "What? He's a Nazi. Hes kinda asking for it."

Brenley and Krupin gave grudging nods. "Eh. True."

Heidi didn't seem quite on board. "I don't want to  _kill_  anybody."

"They killed upwards of a thousand people."

Brenley nodded. "Wasn't anybody complaining about killing Nazis in world war 2."

"Yeah, I suppose.

"It's the best way." Nadia said. "They'll just assume he got lost and froze to death or something."

"Unless they have trackers or coms."

"We'll disable them first."

"Okay." She patted the table a few times. "Good. We'll figure out more what to do in the future. We don't need access to the guns now. So just uh, keep up the good work. The makeshift phone thing is coming along by the way, still expected to take a bit as they have to basically make their own cell tower but, it's coming.

"That's good."

"Yeah. Oh and maybe, if it will speed up things some, you could get some more people to help you."

Krupin nodded. "Yeah, we'll look around."

"Alright. Good." She started heading towards the door and Brenley nodded slightly at her while looking at Krupin. He nodded back and caught her right as she was about to leave, talking low.

" _Can I talk to you about something?"_  He gestured subtly at the door.

She nodded, glancing quickly back at the other two before joining him outside. Nadia looked to Brenley.

"What's that about?"

"I dunno. He just told me earlier he had something to tell her but didn't know when, didn't actually tell me what."

"And you don't wonder what that is?"

"Yeah, but I'm not gonna ask him."

"You're weird."

"We've established this."

* * *

That night, Nadia woke up to a frantic knocking on the door. "Nadia. Nadia!"

She jolted up and jumped out of her bed, rushing over to the door and opening it. She didn't even bother putting pants on so she was just wearing a t shirt and her underwear. Brenley stood in the doorway, also only wearing a shirt and underwear, his eyes were wild around the edges.

"Brenley?"

"Hey. Something's wrong with Feliks. I- I need help."

"Fuck. What's wrong?"

"Just- just come on. I don't want to leave him alone for long."

"Right. Yeah."

She followed him to their room where he wrenched open the door and rushed over to the bed. Krupin sat there, curled up into a ball, his hands clutching his head. He stared into the distance, muttering under his breath. Nadia's face fell. Brenley reached out, gently touching the side of his face. "Feliks… it's okay. It's okay. I'm here."

Krupin didn't even make a tiny movement to acknowledge his existence.

Brenley glanced over at Nadia. "I don't know what's wrong, if he's having a panic attack or what. I just woke up and he was like this."

Nadia didn't know what to say.

"Can, can you go get Scott."

"Yeah, yeah. I will."

"And, go quickly. Please."

"Yeah." She rushed back to her room and fumbled with a pair of pants for a second before half jogging out into the commons. She barely had time to think that she was alone and they had agreed not to go alone. She knew Heidi and Scott were sharing a single room with one of them on the couch. She found the door and knocked on it. "Heidi! Scott!"

There was some noise and Heidi opened the door, wearing a loose shirt and some sweatpants. Her hair was messy and she squinted in the light. "Nadia?"

"Hey. I need Scott."

"Something wrong?"

"Long story. It's not, life threatening. I just, need him."

"Right, lemme get him."

Nadia held the door as she went and got him. After a second, he followed her out. "What's wrong?"

"Just uh- come with me."

He glanced at Heidi before nodding and following her. As they walked quickly back to the rooms she explained as best as she could. "Krupin, I dunno. Something's wrong. He won't respond and he's just, blank."

When they got back to the rooms, Scott seemed a bit confused that Krupin wasn't on the couch. He seemed to realize what was going on when they walked into the bedroom and he could clearly see the bed had had two people. Brenley looked at him from his spot next to Feliks. "He won't respond to anything."

Krupins body was shaking very slightly and his eyes were wide as he breathed rapidly, sweat beading on his forehead. Scott frowned and walked over to him. "Feliks? Can you hear me?"

He didn't respond. Scott glanced at Brenley. "How did this start?"

"I um…"

Scott sensed his hesitation. "I won't tell anyone."

"I woke up because he was, thrashing almost. He told me yesterday he was getting nightmares. So I thought it was just one of those. I went to wake him and as soon as he did he kind of, scrambled into a sitting position and that started."

Scott nodded slowly. "I'm fairly that it's a flashback. People can forget where they are with those."

"Is there a way to help him out of it?" His voice was filled with worry.

"Best thing to do is just keep talking to him. Tell him it's a flashback. Other than that, it's just a matter of waiting it out."

"Okay… thanks."

"I'll uh, leave you to it. I can take the couch tonight. If you need help when he comes out of it don't be afraid to wake me."

"Yeah. Thanks Scott."

As Scott left, Brenley scooted closer to Krupin, wrapping his arms around him, speaking under his breath. "It's a flashback honey. It's okay. You're not there."

Nadia watched in silence for a few long seconds. "Do you want me to stay...? Because I don't mind either way."

He let out a long breath, resting his forehead on Krupins shoulder. "Just… go back to bed. I'll be okay. Thanks for helping."

"Yeah…" She left, closing the door softly behind her. She could still hear Brenley talking through the door though it was just mumbles. Scott had found a blanket on the couch and was spreading it.

"You need anything else?" She asked.

"No, I'm good. Thanks."

She nodded slowly and went back to her room. She was unable to sleep for a good few hours, she just stared at the ceiling, thinking.

For a few minutes, Brenley kept up with telling him it was a flashback, just repeating the same phrases. But after awhile he sighed and rested his head on his shoulder. "Remember that time you came to Beauvoir? That- that was the best month of my life. We could walk around downtown holding hands. Do you remember how good that felt?" He let out a long breath. "I'm sorry. For pressuring you to move to France. Especially so soon after Teresa. I- I didn't get it. And I was scared out of my mind. I had a taste of what our future could be like and I was so scared that it wouldn't happen that I panicked. I'll never forgive myself for hurting you like that. I'm so sorry."

He continued to talk to him in a low voice. Switching from reassuring that whatever he was seeing wasn't real to reminiscing about their life together before. After a few agonizingly long minutes, Krupin's eyes shifted. He glanced around, slightly panicked. Brenley sat up higher.

"Feliks? Are you okay?"

"Ellie?"

"Yeah. Yeah it's me Fil. It's me. You're okay. It was a flashback. It's not happening."

"It felt so real…"

Brenley gently grabbed the side of his face. "It's not real. You're here now. With me."

Krupin felt his neck where he had two circle like scars from the metal barbs of a taser, they were almost gone now. "It was happening again… it felt like it was happening again.." His face was stricken.

"It wasn't. You're okay."

"But it's going to happen again. And again. And again. They keep  _fucking_  hurting me. They keep…" He trailed off, his voice clogged. "How long do I have to fucking do this."

"I don't know, I'm sorry."

There was a long few seconds as Krupin tried to slow his breathing and racing heart. He wiped his brow. "I think I'm okay."

"Good."

"What did I look like? I just- I didn't think I was here at all."

"I dunno, you were just kinda blank, you were sitting and staring into the distance."

Krupin didn't respond, just nodded slightly.

"I uh, I called Scott over because I was worried so he kinda knows we're together, and he's staying on the couch, if you…"

"I think I'm fine. I mean I'm not fine but, you get what I mean."

"Okay. Think you'll be able to go back to sleep?"

"No."

Brenley didn't know what to say to that.

"Don't stay up because of me though."

"Okay… but, try to get some sleep alright? You'll feel better if you do."

The next day, Krupin was weirdly quiet. He responded to questions with one word answers or mumbles and didn't seem at all like his normal cheery self. Every once in awhile Nadia would catch a glimpse of Brenley watching him with worry on his face. The day working was quiet as none of them wanted to acknowledge that what was happening to him was starting to seriously affect him. Blessedly, GIRA did not call him in. They had started only doing it every few days as it was clear he wasn't giving up any time soon and it was annoying for them to do it every day. James came over later in the day and definitely noticed Krupin's change in demeanor but didn't comment on it. As Brenley was working in another room on parts of the machine, Krupin took a break, another weird thing for him to do.

James glanced at him as he sat perfectly still on the couch, his knees folded up and his eyes far away. He leaned over slightly to talk to Nadia under his breath. "Is he okay?"

"I don't know. Rough night."

James nodded and walked over to the couches, sitting down opposite him. "Hey man."

Krupin slowly tore his gaze away from the distance. "Hey."

"Are you alright?"

"Who knows."

"Is it dreams?"

Krupin squinted at him before glancing back down. "Yeah. I feel like I'm fucking five years old again. Scared of nightmares. Jesus Christ."

"My sister joined the army. Served two tours. She's tough as shit. And she gets nightmares. Doesn't mean you're weak."

"Are you saying I have post traumatic stress disorder." James simply raised his eyebrows and shrugged. Krupin took one of his hands out of his lap and displayed it. It shook ever so slightly. "Are hand tremors a symptom."

"I don't know. My sister didn't have that. Scott might know."

"It probably is." He folded his trembling hand back into his lap. "Well fuck. Might as well tack that onto the apparently growing list of ways I'm fucked up mentally."

James frowned. "What do you mean?"

Krupin shifted, reaching into his pocket. He produced his wallet and rooted through it for a second before tossing James what looked like a large coin. James inspected it for a second, turning it over in his fingers. "Well hey, two years is pretty good."

"Not if I started going to meetings six years ago."

Nadia suddenly realized what the coin was. Krupin shook his head and placed his arms on his knees. "Was also diagnosed with clinical depression 'round that time. I spent six months in a fucking  _psych ward._  And now I have fucking PTSD. More like TSD. It's still fucking happening."

James handed the coin back. "Well none of that is your fault."

"Oh yeah. Me getting fucking wasted and almost hurting one of my best friends in the world because I threw a bottle of vodka at the wall is not my fault at all."

"It's a disease. You're a scientist, you should know that."

"I know. But if I can stop myself from drinking now, why couldn't I then. And honestly if there was alcohol here I wouldn't be able to. Stop myself I mean."

"But that was before you went to AA. I mean, that's the whole point of it right? To get where you can stop yourself. And I assume, therapy?"

"Yup."

"I mean, imagine it like physical therapy. You wouldn't tell someone with scoliosis 'why couldn't you sit straight before therapy if you can now?' That's what it's for. And if you can stop yourself now then that's good, it shows it worked." There was a pause as Krupin turned the coin over and over, his hands still shook. James watched him before glancing down. "Have you told Elias what happened. With that." He nodded his head towards the coin.

Krupin shook his head incrementally. "No."

"You should."

"I know. It's just, I think he has this image in his mind that… I'm infallible, mentally. I mean the only time he's seen me get really upset was when my sister died. Not that I hid when I got upset, just not much upset me. And I used to think that was because I could just take it in stride. Turns out it was all mainly me repressing shit. In the time he was gone I came to terms with that and realized my mental health isn't exactly up to par. But, he wasn't there when I realized this. For him, it's something that just started now. And I don't know how to tell him."

Nadia spoke up from her seat a bit away. "He'll understand. It's easier to just get it over with you know? And I know he'll be sympathetic."

"Yeah… I just, wish he already knew. I mean, how do you just tell someone like that you're an alcoholic?"

James glanced at Nadia. "You told us."

"I know but, Elias… if the laws were different I would have married him even before he left. I love him, and there's nothing I'd want to change about him. If he feels the same way, what's going to happen when I say, I did change. A lot."

Nadia tilted her head. "Imagine he told you that while you weren't together he struggled with drinking or something similar. You might be surprised but you'd support him right?"

"Yeah of course."

"Then trust he'll do the same."

He nodded slowly. "Thanks." He took a deep breath and looked up. "I better get back to work." As he stood up he turned back to them. "Honestly, thank you. And, I'll tell him. It just might take a bit. I need to… prepare myself."

James nodded. "Yeah, of course."

Krupin nodded in return before snapping his fingers and walking out of the room. James glanced at Nadia. "Fuck."

She raised her eyebrows. "Yeah. No kidding."

James got off the chair and sat on the couch where Krupin had been sitting. "He's right about people assuming he's infallible. I did at least. Thinking back on it, that's a shit ton of pressure on one guy."

She got up and joined him on the couch. "I don't know how he does it. Especially now. I mean, the shit they do to him." She shook her head, at a loss for words. "It's fucking cruel."

"Yeah but even before then. I mean, can you imagine the stress that comes with running probably the most controversial big company out there? Like… it's like being president. Man you couldn't pay me enough money to be president. It sounds like the worst fucking job. And as much as I love Vozmet and think the research they do is awesome, I would not want his job in a million years. I mean, controlling a company that big is hard enough, let alone dealing with the legal shit and idiots protesting and, I mean did you hear about those religious fuckheads picketing the Vozmet offices?"

"Yeah… I feel, bad for him. He said he has  _depression_. I mean, Jesus."

James nodded slowly. "Yeah. I have no idea how hard it must be."

"I should probably get back to work. Lots to do, y'know."

"Alright." As they both stood up, he turned to her. "You wanna watch a movie tonight or something?"

"Like what? Star Wars again? Although fuckin, Bunsen and Beaker are watching that, so unless you have some movies…"

He grinned. "Bunsen and Beaker?"

"Am I wrong?"

"No, not really. Well um, I have fucking Muppets Most Wanted."

She grinned. "That's the only movie you have? Fucking Muppets Most Wanted?"

"I have a couple more but I feel like that's one that would entice you in. I mean, you  _just_ referenced Bunsen and Beaker."

"Don't call me out like this."

"So you wanna watch it?"

"Yeah sure."

"Alright. Just, come over whenever."

"Okay."

"See you later."

* * *

The next day was a break day, they had one of those a week so they didn't go stir crazy. Brenley walked into the room wearing a grey t-shirt from a martian national park and fading blue jeans. He planted his hands on a lab table and looked to Nadia, "Weird question… can you braid hair?"

She frowned, "Uh yeah? I mean I'm no professional but I manage. Why?"

He smiled slightly and pointed to his masses of curly hair, "You wanna attempt this? It's hard to do by myself and I kinda feel like braiding it. Handy thing is that it stays in a braid pretty well so I can sleep with it in."

She chuckled, "Sure."

He walked over and sat down at the base of the couch. "Also I'm guessing that you've secretly always wanted to touch it. Like all white people." He took the tie out and ran his hands through it, fluffing it up.

She grimaced. " _Well…_  yeah."

"Knew it. At least you're secret about it and don't just fuckin grab it though. Anyways, now is your chance."

"What do you want?"

"Surprise me."

"Alrighty then." She split it down the center and grabbed three strands on the right side. "You do know that all I know how to do is white people braids right?"

"I mean, yeah, but it's fine. Still works."

His hair was quite soft and almost doubled in length when she pulled a strand. She deftly folded the hair over itself towards the back of his head. As she did, she talked idly to him. "You should wear braids more often. Looks good on you. Although the afro is pretty glorious."

"I actually like braiding it sometimes, it just takes a while and is easy to mess up if I do it myself. And back in Roosevelt I couldn't exactly ask Herberts to do it." Herberts was the head of the biology department. A grouchy oldish man who everyone knew hated Brenley.

"That's an interesting image for sure." She paused, "But, you've braided it before, not recently but a few years ago you used to do it quite a bit."

Brenley let out a long breath. "Yeah… that was…" He steepled his fingers, "Deon."

"Deon Harris? Your TA?"

"Yup. I… may, or may not, have kinda been with him, for the years he was my TA."

She grinned. "Really?"

"Yeah."

"So literally the professor TA cliché."

"He was only a couple years younger than me!"

"Mm hmm."

"Man shut the hell up."

She grinned and paused from braiding to lean over his shoulder. "Oooh professor I think you need to  _teach_ me…"

"Shut up!"

She giggled. "Seriously though, he was a nice guy."

"Yeah, he was."

She went back to braiding and raised her eyebrows as she remembered something. "Wait. Were you dating him when you punched that guy who called him tranny?"

"Yup."

"Aw that's adorable! You actually, defended his honor!"

"And fractured my wrist in the process. I think Deon was more amused than impressed. Turns out he knows how to box. So after my wrist healed he taught me to throw a punch. That's why I actually know how to do it." He glanced down. "I actually feel kinda bad about doing that."

"Why?"

"Well it's just, he didn't mind people knowing he was trans, so long as they were fine with it. So like, he trusted me to tell people I knew wouldn't be dicks about it. Like he'd be fine with me telling you. He just didn't like assholes to know, because the looks and comments and stuff got annoying. And if I hadn't punched that guy, the incident would have gotten around a bit but since I did punch him… the story went around like a fucking wildfire and it kinda outed him to the entire school."

"Oh yeah…"

"He said it was fine, that i didn't know it would happen but still. I feel bad about it."

"Did he move? I mean, I just didn't see him anymore after awhile. I assumed he moved."

"Yeah. Got a job. At Vozmet actually. It was kind of his dream job but at the time, Vozmet didn't have any remotely big offices in Roosevelt and I was trying to get tenure. So even if we tried long distance, there wasn't really any future we could see where we'd even live on the same planet."

"That's never fun."

"Nope. Like you said, he's a nice guy."

"However, it does mean that when you came here and saw Feliks again you were single so… silver lining I guess."

"Yeah."

"Man I can't believe you two were together!"

"Eh. I've had years of practice hiding."

She finished up the braid and glanced down. "Do you have a hair tie?" He rolled one off his wrist and passed it to her which she wound around his remaining hair. She had done two dutch braids that curved back to a bun. "Alright. Done."

He brought his phone out and looked at himself with the camera. "Awesome, thanks! It looks cool."

"You're welcome, I guess."

He leveraged himself up onto the couch, folding his long legs into criss cross formation. Somehow she knew it was not the time to talk about Feliks.

"Are the professors like, friends? What are they like outside of school?"

He shrugged "I dunno, I mean we sometimes go for drinks or something. Everyone is pretty nice. Except for Herberts, who is an actual penis." Nadia snorted and he grinned at her, his voice trailing off, "I hate him so much…"

There was a comfortable silence as they sat together on the couch. Nadia took a deep breath, looking down at her hands. "I… think I like my roommate."

He glanced at her, "That was a bit out of the blue, who is it?"

"Skylar Gerstmann."

"Sky?! I love Sky! I didn't know you two lived together."

She smiled slightly at his response. "Yup."

"Sky's great." His eyes flicked to the side, "An A in all my classes."

Nadia chuckled, "You judge people by what grade they have in your class?"

"What grade did you get in applied. And in advanced molecular."

She paused, "...B minus'"

"And yet you're here. You think I care about getting all A's? The Sky thing was just an observation."

"I mean, they do matter. Unfortunately. My grades are just, vaguely shit."

"Guess what my GPA was as an undergrad."

"Well. You wouldn't have said that if you had a four point so… 3.6"

"Hah! Yeah, no. I had a three point nothing."

"Really? You are like, the smartest person I know!"

"I'm probably not…"

"No you are."

"Anyways. I mean I was far from a dropout but, I just didn't mix well with school."

"What was your high school gpa then?"

"Well, the system is different in France but I think it came out to like a 2.9?"

"How on earth did you get into  _Brindley_."

"Regeneron."

"You won that?! That's like, 250,000 bucks!"

"And welcome arms to any school I wanted really."

"What did you do?"

"Synthetically made elastin."

"Good lord. But what about normal people, who aren't fucking geniuses and can't win international science competitions."

"You got into Rutherford."

"Barely. With almost no scholarships. I'm pretty fucked debt wise."

"Well past college, they don't matter. At all. You get good grades. But I have students who have over 4.0 GPAs. You know George Franks? He's in your grade."

"Yeah I think so. I mean I've talked to him a couple times. I don't really know him."

"He's a fuckwad."

Nadia let out a shocked laugh. "Are you allowed to say that about students?"

He chuckled, "Not at all. But he has a four point. Basically, grades don't matter one bit."

"But what about getting a job?"

He gave her a frank look. "You have any trouble getting a job, tell me because I will write you a killer recommendation letter and or blackmail them."

She smiled and looked down, "Thanks Brenley."

He waved his hand dismissively. "You know what? Call me Elias. If any student has earned that, it's you."

"I've called you Brenley for so long though, like we've known each other for six years!"

"We have haven't we. That's weird to think about. I mean, feel free to still call me Brenley. Just know that, you don't have to."

There was a short silence and she looked to him, "What do I do? About Sky I mean."

"Well first step would be to get off this planet."

"...C'mon. You know what I mean."

He sighed, "Yeah."

"The law… I really like her, I just, don't know what to do. I don't even know if she feels the same."

"The law's a bitch that's for sure. But," He smiled and tilted his head "Sky would never do anything to, you know," He waved his hands vaguely, "The fuzz. Just, don't do what I did. Don't sit there with a crush on someone for five years. It sucks. Anyways even if it's bad news it's not going to just ruin your friendship. I know it's daunting but, it might just be a little awkward for a few weeks."

"What about James though?"

She stared at him.

"What? It seems like you, well… like him."

"He's nice! That doesn't mean I  _like_ him."

"He likes you. I know that."

"Really?"

"Mm hmm."

"How do you know that?"

"You seem awfully interested for someone who  _doesn't_ like him."

She glanced to the side. "Okay maybe I do a little."

"Hah! Knew it."

"No need to gloat knucklehead."

He chuckled. "Well anyways, now you got a bit of a love triangle problem here. Gotta choose who to go with."

Him saying that somehow put it all into perspective. What was she even thinking trying to go after Sky, it was kind of idiotic really. "James."

"...Well that was disappointingly short."

"What? I know he likes me, the law would be a bitch with Sky, James is already here… It's just more practical really."

"Alright Spock, jesus."

"Well anyways I love being friends with Sky as well. This way I can keep being friends with her."

"I guess."

"I'm also just very bad at telling people things. Took me six months to break up with my last boyfriend."

"And it took me five years to tell Feliks. I can't tell you what to do, but It's better to know even if it's bad news than to be left wondering."

"Yeah… Thank you. I didn't really know who to tell. Especially given the whole hostage thing."

"No problem."

The door opened and Krupin walked in. He was doing a lot better than the other day. He was back to talking more and joking around. However, she didn't know if he was dismissing what happened or he was actually feeling better about it

He walked over to them and smiled, "Ellie, you braided your hair."

"I mean Nadia did the actual braiding but yes."

He gave an appraising nod, "I like it." He walked over and sat down next to Brenley who put his arm over his shoulders. "What are you two talking about?"

"Grades. How I got shit ones." He glanced at Nadia and tilted his head towards Krupin. "He got a four point."

Krupin smiled and nudged his head into Brenley's "And the only reason he got what he did is because half the time I did his homework."

"Asperger's, Feliks."

"Mmmmmm. Sure. Fairly sure you just got through college because the professors liked you."

"I'm likeable." He glanced away. "Although some professors hated me." There was a short pause before he perked up slightly. "Hey, I found a bottle of champagne the other day, will I go get it?"

He didn't really wait for a response before untangling his arm and getting up, heading towards the door. Nadia grimaced and glanced at Krupin. "Want me to leave?"

"Uh, yeah maybe. Have to tell him sometime I guess. Might as well now."

She nodded and got up as well. "Good luck, I guess. I don't really know what's a good thing to say here."

He chuckled. "Yeah, I know. Thanks."

"Yeah." She bobbed her head once then left for the commons.

Brenley returned a second later, holding a bottle of champagne "Eyyyyy- wait, where'd Nadia go?"

"I dunno."

"Her loss I guess, more for us."

Krupin smiled and looked down. "I'd say so but.. I don't drink anymore. So, more for you really."

"What?"

"I've stopped drinking."

"Why?"

"Didn't like what it did to me."

Brenley sat down and turned the bottle in his hands, looking at the label. "Aw c'mon, it's just champagne. It's not gin or anything."

"I don't even drink wine."

"But-"

Krupin snapped his head up. "I'm an alcoholic!" There was a shocked silence. "Or I was. Whatever."

"Fil I-"

"A lot can happen in ten years. I had a problem. And I got help. And now I don't drink. It was ruining my life."  
Brenley frowned, studying his face. He took a shaky breath. "Was it because of me."

Krupin looked down and to the side. "It was just, Teresa died, and you left, and my parents wouldn't talk to me. It just all kinda piled up. I certainly probably drank a bit more than i should before that but… that's when I started drinking to forget my problems."

"Fil you should have told me. I'm so sorry."

Krupin let out a humorless laugh. "I mean you did leave not even a year after she died."

"I… didn't know it affected you that much."

"My fucking sister died! What did you expect?!"

"You know how I feel about tragedy."

"Yeah you don't give a shit."

"That's…" He shook his head. "I just don't get it. And I can't change the chemistry of my damn brain. I'm not good with empathy alright? I don't get feeling sad about death. And I know it affects most people. But it never affected me. So I don't know what it's like. I don't know how bad it is."

"Yeah apparently you don't."

There was a pause. "I'm sorry."

"Listen. It was my fault. The drinking. I can't just place the blame on others. But, it's over now. Haven't had a drop in two years."

"...How bad was it?" Brenley said.

Krupin chuckled. "You're a curious motherfucker."

"You don't have to answer."

"About a fifth of vodka a day."

Brenley's eyes shot open. "A fifth? A day?!"

He smiled, "Yup. For around a year and a half. Granted that was more later on. Started out with maybe a couple shots. Not in the form of shots though. I mixed it with stuff so it wasn't suspicious."

"Did you ever like, drive or anything?"

He nodded slowly. "Yeah. Like a fucking idiot. I think I did it because at that point I had built up a tolerance for a few shots not to affect me much. Nothing ever happened but, I fucking regret doing that so much."

"Well… good job for, getting help. Wasn't… wasn't your father an alcoholic?"

"Yeah. And my grandfather. And most of my uncles. And some of my aunts. I guess I just, carried on the family tradition. Honestly, that was the worst part. Realizing I had essentially become my dad."

"You're not your dad Fil. Respectfully, your dad is a massive fuckwad."

Krupin shook his head. "When I was drunk, I was a massive fuckwad. I fucking threw a bottle at Kris. Not at her, but at the wall next to her. I- I could have seriously hurt her."

"Feliks, your dad  _actually_ hurt you, and Teresa."

"I know. But he didn't do it that often. And the times in between, he was still a fucking dick… that's what I was like. The times in between. I- I didn't know how to tell you before. So, I'm sorry for not telling you."

"It's okay."

"That's- that's why I was in the hospital."

"For a couple  _months_?"

"Six. I was actually in the psych ward. Because i was also, fairly depressed. I have pretty serious depression turns out."

"Feliks…"

"Don't, don't blame yourself. I was struggling a bit with it before you left. Even before Teresa died."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I never showed it. To anyone. And the drinking just made it worse. So, I checked into the hospital and stayed for six months."

"So Christie…"

"He was also in the psych ward. Schizophrenia."

"You dated a schizophrenic guy?"

"We didn't really date, and you should know how inaccurate assumptions can be." There was a fairly long lull in the conversation before Krupin sighed. "Honestly, I should have told you before. It was a pretty big part of my life that I just, didn't want you to know about. I didn't want you to know that for a while there I was seriously considering jumping off a roof. And those pills I take, they're antidepressants. I'm quite a bit better, but I'll probably be on those for a good amount of time. Maybe forever. I didn't want you to know that I'm a fucking wreck who has in fact, broken down crying, many times."

Brenley slowly got off his chair, leaving the champagne on the table. He walked around behind Krupin and hugged him. He mumbled as he pressed his cheek into Krupin's. "I love you, no matter what."

"But I lied to you. I pretended like everything was alright, that, that while you were gone I was fine. But I wasn't. Everyone in the fucking world thinks I'm alright. And I'm not. And it's not because of you, don't blame yourself. If you had stayed I probably would have had to go to the hospital at some point for fucking alcohol poisoning or… something. And the exact same thing would have have happened. All of it."

"It's okay. You didn't tell me because you weren't ready. And that's okay."

Krupin grabbed the arm that draped over his chest and gripped his hand. Brenley's fingers curled slowly around his. "Fuck Ellie. What did I do to deserve you."

"Well, you did cure cancer."

Krupin let out a laugh and shook his head. As his smile fell he adjusted his grip on Brenley's hand. "I love you."

"I love you too. And, you can tell me anything."

"What if I kill a man."

Brenley grinned. "Tell me and I'll help bury the body and say you were with me the whole night."

Krupin shifted in the chair so that he was sitting sideways. Brenley broke his hold and rested his elbows on the back of the chair. He leaned forward and kissed him. As they separated, Krupin looked down. "So you don't mind that I'm a depressed alcoholic mess."

"Not at all. To be frank, I am a little surprised, but I don't mind. I'm glad you told me. And if you need help at all, I'll do what I can."

Krupin stood up and hugged him, his eyes brimming slightly. "Thank you Ellie. I love you, so much."

"I love you. Y'know, just to reiterate." They separated and he looked him in the eyes. "And seriously, you can tell me anything."

"Well, just so you know, I have relapsed three times. And I hope to god I won't do it again but... at this point with that asshole doing all this stuff maybe you should, hide that. Or something. I mean with you here I'm not gonna do anything it's just, I don't want access to it when I'm alone." He nodded his head at the champagne.

Brenley walked over to it and picked it off the table, bringing it over to the sink. He popped the cork and Krupin frowned. "What are you doing?"

"Getting rid of it." He upended the bottle and the golden liquid started glugging into the basin of the sink. Krupin got up and joined him by the sink.

"You don't have to do that…"

Brenley shrugged, watching it swirl down the drain. "Well we're not going to drink it and it's not enough for everyone else and we don't need it so.." he trailed off and shrugged. The bottle emptied it's final few drops and Brenley put it into the sink, turning the water on and filling it.

"You know, you don't have to stay away from drinking around me." Krupin said, nudging his shoulder into Brenley's. "It's just when I'm alone that I have a problem stopping myself."

"I know. But this is a weird situation. And if you can't drink the one bottle of champagne we have I'm not going to."

"I bet Nadia and James would have liked it…"

Brenley stared at the bottle full of water. "You couldn't have mentioned that  _before_ I poured it down the drain?"

Krupin laughed. "You didn't think of that?!"

"No! And it was a gesture asshole!" He put his chin up and imitated a posh British accent. "A  _metaphor._ "

In return, Krupin adopted a sarcastic tone. "Oooh. A  _metaphor."_ He laughed and dropped the tone. "You pretentious French motherfucker."

"Alcoholic Mexican asshole."

Krupins smile dropped. "Don't joke about that."

Brenley went very still. "Oh, fuck I'm so sorry-"

"I'm kidding!" His smile lit back up and he shoved his shoulder. "Don't worry. I joke about this shit all the time."

"I hate you." Krupin laughed and Brenley shook his head. "Like that isn't me joking. I legitimately hate your fucking guts Feliks."

"Love you too." He grinned then glanced down. "Honestly Ellie. I'm sorry I didn't tell you before."

"Hey. It's okay. And… there's something I haven't told you. And it's pretty big."

Krupin frowned. "What?"

"I, kind of…" He paused, smiling at the ridiculousness. "Fuck I've been trying to figure out how to say this. I- I have a daughter."


	10. Chapter 10

"You  _what?"_

Brenley looked down at his hands. "I have a daughter. Ava."

"How? You're gay!"

"My best friend, Sofia, she wanted a kid. But she's not married, not even in a relationship. So she decided to get artificially inseminated. And, asked me to be the donor."

"Oh. So you're just the biological father?"

"Kind of. But, before she asked we were already flatmates. So we still live together. And… we kinda have both been raising her. Like, I'm her dad."

Krupin raised his eyebrows and let out a long breath. "Hooookay…" There was a long pause before he glanced at him. "Does Nadia know about her?"

"She knows I share a flat with Sofia, and knows Sofia has a daughter. Doesn't know she's mine. I've brought her into class a few times when Sofia was out of town, just kinda set her up with some toys next to the the lectern or put her on my shoulders. Anyways I told everyone she specifically wasn't mine. Because then people would have all sorts of questions on why I wasn't with Sofia but still lived with her and all." He took a breath. "When we get back," He paused. "Feliks she's my kid. I can't just abandon her to go work at Vozmet or whatever. And, my job. I don't think I can leave Roosevelt."

Krupin nodded slowly. "If- if we bought a house in Roosevelt would that work."

"You would be willing to move to Roosevelt?"

"Ellie I can run the company from anywhere. It'll be a bit more annoying with shareholders meetings and shit but, I was thinking of handing off some of my powers anyways. There's a branch in Roosevelt. I could expand it." He frowned. "But, what about them? You wouldn't be living with them any longer."

Elias rested his elbows on the counter, sighing. "I don't know. Best scenario in my mind is we get houses close to each other, really close. Then Ava could, switch off." He sighed and rubbed his face. "God. I new that this day would come, when I'd move out of the flat. But, I never wanted to think about it. Fuck. I don't even know if Sofia would want her to switch off. It would be so hard on her."

"But plenty of kids are in that situation because of divorce or whatever."

"I know. It's just that, well Ava got my genes. She has fairly serious autism. I mean, she's three and she hasn't even spoken yet. We don't know if she ever will."

"Oh."

"Listen, I know this is in the future and we can still talk about it but, do you think we could live with them? You have no shortage of money. With a big enough house we could just have different parts of it."

"Elias I just learned about the existence of your daughter like, a minute ago. It's a lot to take in."

"I know. I'm sorry."

Krupin let out a long breath. "Fuck Ellie. Why didn't you tell me about this before."

"Because I knew you never wanted kids and I was worried that- that this would be a deal breaker." He looked down for a bit, not saying anything, then glanced back up, smiling slightly. "Why didn't you tell me you were an alcoholic before."

Krupin stared at him then smirked. "Point taken I guess. I'll think about it okay?"

"Yeah."

There was a short silence before Krupin glanced at him. "You got any pictures of her?"

"Sofia or Ava?"

"Your kid, dingus."

"Of course I do, fucker." He brought out his phone and scrolled through it for a second before spinning it around, showing him a picture of a young girl. She had a tiny pair of jean overalls and her curly hair was tied up into two puffy pigtails on top of her head. Sofia held her hands, helping her stand. Krupin looked it over.

"Well shit. She's fucking adorable."

Brenley laughed. "Yeah."

"And good lord is that Sofia?"

"Yup."

"She's beautiful! Why the fuck is she single? Jesus I'd turn straight for that woman."

He laughed again. "Well, there's a more complicated reason that she'd probably want to know you before telling but basically, she certainly gets 'suitors' or whatever, just none that, understand her, I guess. Yet at least, who knows."

Krupin nodded slowly, still looking at the picture. Brenley gestured. "There's a few more, swipe through if you want."

He swiped and looked at a picture of Ava sitting on Brenleys shoulders, reaching for the camera. "Why did you come here? You were planning to be here like, a year right?"

"Yeah. I was going to go back every couple weeks for a few days. Sofia said it was alright if I did this." He paused. "Listen, are there any more secrets. Because I know we both did it but keeping stuff this big from each other is a bad idea."

Krupin looked up from the picture. "No. That was it. You?"

He shook his head. "Nothing." He watched him swipe through a few more pictures. "Is… is your stance on kids the same as it was when we were in college."

Krupin shook his head. "I don't know El. I haven't thought about it. After you I went on like, two dates. I kind of contented myself to live out my life single because I didn't think I'd meet someone I loved as much as you. I knew Id just be comparing them to you so I never really tried. But, that means for the last decade I've just thought that I wouldn't have kids. So I didn't even consider my stance. It's not like, I don't like kids. It's just that I'm not great with them and they're… so much work."

Brenley's voice was very slightly clogged. "So is this a deal breaker."

Krupin turned. "No. No Ellie of course not." He stepped over and gave him a kind of side hug. "I just have to think about this."

"But- but it's a black and white answer. Either you stay with me, which means Ava will be in your life or… you don't."

"Ellie I love you more than  _anything_." He gestured with the phone. "And- and if your daughter comes with you as a package deal then I guess- I guess that's how it is. I just have to think about  _how_  we're gonna deal with this. How we're even gonna be together when we get back. Because if that fucking law doesn't change… I can't be outed. So, we'll have to be careful."

"Okay."

He handed the phone back. "Well shit. Now I want to meet her."

Brenley smiled, looking down at his phone. "Yeah…"

"You miss her?"

"Of course I do." His voice was soft. "I miss her like hell. And- I'm just worried that she's, gonna grow up without a dad because of this. I don't want her to be another black kid without a dad."

Krupin gave him another side-hug, squeezing his arm. "She won't El. We're gonna get back."

"Fuck I hope we do."

* * *

That night, Krupin pressed his face into Brenley's shoulder and spoke softly. "Sing something."

"Like what?" He also spoke in a soft voice. They were in bed, staring up into the darkness. Their eyes had become acclimated to the dark and neither could sleep.

"Anything."

There was a long pause before he took a deep breath and sang quietly. " _Here's to us, one more toast, and then we'll pay the bill. Deep inside, both of us can feel the autumn chill."_ It wasn't a very long song and he soon finished up, trailing off. " _There's no hurry anymore when all is said and done. When all is said and done…"_

Krupin laughed, wiping tears from his eyes. "Fuck. Who knew fucking ABBA can write a song as emotional as that." Brenley didn't respond, simply nodded silently. Krupin shifted, more tears leaking out of his eyes. "Ellie, what if we die here."

"To be honest, I kind of think we will."

"I haven't talked to my parents in fifteen years."

"Fuck your parents. Don't think about them. They treated you like shit. You don't need to apologize or listen to them." They stayed silent for a few long seconds. "I- I don't think dying in the near future would be all that bad. As a way to go I mean. We all have to die sometime, and, with you it wouldn't be so bad."

"I don't want us to die."

"No, neither do I. But, if I died before all this, I'd regret so fucking much that I never got to see you again. As far as regrets go, that I could fix if we got out of here, I don't have many."

"Yeah. You're right. I certainly have regrets but not many that could be changed if we escaped." He paused. "Actually…"

Brenley glanced at him. "What."

"It would kinda be shitty to have lived our entire lives primarily in the closet. I mean, I always kinda wanted to get married."

"Good lord Fil. Are you proposing to me?"

"Well, yeah. Kind of."

He smiled at Brenley who laughed. "Well. Guess who gets top prize for shittiest fucking proposal."

Krupin laughed as well and they both let out the tension pent up in them. As they calmed, Brenley grinned and rubbed Krupins arm that lay across his chest. "Of course I'll marry you.  _If_ we live after this. And  _if_ the sexual health law is repealed, and  _if_ gay marriage is legalized."

"I don't like the amount and magnitude of those 'ifs'"

"No neither do I. But short answer is yes."

Krupin smiled again and shifted. "C'mon, it wasn't that shitty of a proposal."

"It kind of was. No ring, no knee, no champagne, no nuthin."

"Where the fuck am I supposed to get a ring up here?"

"I dunno. 3D print one."

Krupin snorted before tapping his hand. "Here, give me your ring."

"Fuck you're gonna propose with my own ring?"

"At least it is  _a_  ring."

"Fine." Brenley wiggled it off and handed it to him. Krupin gripped it between his fingers and grinned, his eyes twinkling.

"Elias Sacha Brenley. Will you marry me. If like, a billion things about our current circumstances change."

"Yes. Fucker." He accepted the ring and frowned, holding his two hands out. "Fuck. Which hand does it go on. I don't keep up with straight traditions."

"Left, dumbass."

He slid it onto the ring finger of his left and lowered his hands. "Actually that's one thing I regret."

"What?"

"Never telling my family. They'd be fine with it, I mean you've met them, but for some reason I always hid it."

"Maybe my dad's reaction put you off a bit."

"I mean, I'm fairly sure it's an Aspergers thing… but anything I can blame on your dad I will."

Krupin smiled. "Lord in that moment, I was stressed and scared and all that, but I just remember thinking  _I have the best goddamn boyfriend in the galaxy_."

"How romantic. Me breaking your father's nose."

"I'm serious! I could never stand up to him like that. I would just direct his anger towards me if he was mad at Teresa. But I never, snapped back, I never defended myself. And you, after meeting him all of two days prior, fucking head butt him hard enough to break his nose."

"See? You don't need to talk to him. He was terrible."

"I'm not denying that, he was a shitty father and a shitty person. But, I don't know about my mom. Sure she wasn't great as a mom, but I kinda wonder if she never helped us with him because she was scared of him. Doesn't excuse her, but I feel like I could maybe talk to her."

Brenley turned his head slightly. "Do you want to talk to her?"

"...Yeah. Just to her. I mean, fuck I don't know at all what's going on with them. They could both be dead for all I know. I've had zero contact."

"Mm. Well, you know my family is always gonna welcome you in. I mean good lord I think my mom likes you more than she likes me."

He chuckled. "Well, I like her so.."

"See?"

"Yeah. I just can't help but wish my family was like yours."

"Yeah… I'm sorry."

"It's okay. Can't really change it. Can't change a lot of shit that happened."

Brenley shifted closer, pressing his face into Krupin's shoulder, not saying anything. Krupin let out a sigh. "Well… I should probably try to get some sleep."

"Yeah."

He scooted away slightly and turned onto his side, facing the wall. "Night El."

"G'night, fiancee."

Krupin chuckled. "Fuck off."

The next morning as Nadia worked with Brenley on a rather large tank bit of the machine, she did a slight double take as she realised his ring had migrated from his right middle finger to his left ring finger. There was even a slight tan line where it had been. She smiled.

"You get engaged or something?"

He looked up, frowning. "Hm?" He was weirdly quiet that morning, and she wanted to get him to open up a bit. It depended but sometimes it was easy to get him out of a quiet mood.

"Your ring. You moved it."

"Oh, yeah."

Her mouth quirked up. "Yes you moved it or yes you got engaged."

"Both."

She stared, she had been  _joking_. "What? Really?"

"Mm-hmm. I mean, of course there's gonna need to be a whole lot of legal changes before it can happen but Feliks did, ask me to marry him." He wiggled his fingers on his left hand. "Didn't have any ring of course so we just used mine."

"Brens are you kidding me that's awesome! You're engaged!"

"...Yup. That's- that's what I am." He was still looking at what he was working on, not really paying attention to the conversation.

"Are you not excited?"

"So we'll get a paper that says we're gonna be together for life. I was already planning on doing that. Not to mention it's pretty damn unlikely to happen."

"That was weirdly sweet. In a, vaguely cold hearted way."

"So what. I'm supposed to jump up and down with excitement at the chance to spend money on some stupid tradition where everyone fawns over you while you say lovey dovey shit to each other?" His tone was surprisingly biting.

She leaned back slightly, not knowing what to say.

He glanced at her, then sighed. "Shit. Sorry. Came off a bit harsh."

"Do you, not want to get married?"

"No yeah, I- I do." He glanced away, his jaw tight.

"Man, you can tell me, okay? This shit isn't one sided."

They had paused from working and just sat. Nadia fiddled slightly with a string on her jacket as Brenley stared at the floor. He looked back at her, pausing for a moment, as if thinking whether or not he'd tell her. Finally he let out a long breath. "I was excited when he asked but now… I'm just scared. I want the law to be repealed but I'm scared to death of it being repealed at the same time. I almost wanted to deny that it would ever be changed. And if it did I wouldn't even necessarily have to come out. This just makes it… concrete."

"But… why? Then you don't have to lie anymore."

He looked down at his hands. "I've uh, I've never come out to anyone in my entire life. Not my parents, or my siblings, no one. I mean, there are a few other people who know I'm gay. But it's always been something along the lines of my boyfriend at the time introducing me as their boyfriend. It's always people finding out somehow or others telling them."

"You told James, right?"

He took a breath and glanced away. "It's hard to explain. But, I have an incredibly hard time telling people that I've changed. Or that I'm different in some way to how they think I am. So… telling people who I know that I'm gay. I just- I can't do that. But, if someone doesn't have an 'image' of me, there's no problem. I didn't know James for that long. And I didn't know him that well. Like, we hadn't talked about much more than science n' stuff. So telling him was easy. Telling my mom… now that's a whole other story."

"Would your mom be, okay with it?"

"Yeah, that's the thing. Both my parents would be absolutely fine with it. Like, no question. They literally  _told_  me they'd be fine with it. I remember them saying that. And yet… I still don't have the fucking balls to tell them."

"What did they say?"

"Well, I was five. And we were watching the news and it was when they defined being gay as a pre existing condition. I asked them what gay meant because, y'know I was five. And they told me. They told me straight up that people who are gay are often treated badly but they'd always support me if I was or… whatever."

"They sound like good parents."

"They are! Like, other people are scared to tell their parents because they might… disown them or something. I'm scared to tell them for no fucking reason. And just, as soon as that law is repealed, if it is, Feliks is going to want to tell everybody. And I'm just, scared. I have a tendency to almost, procrastinate things I need to do until something happens. I once cut myself pretty bad accidentally, I was worried I actually hurt the internal stuff. But, I never went to the doctor. Because simply calling the doctor, getting off my ass and doing something was too hard. So I waited. Luckily nothing was wrong and it healed fine but that fucking mindset is going to ruin me one day. If I had my way, even if it was repealed, I'd stay in the closet, too fucking scared to tell anyone. I  _hate_ that I do this! I never fucking man up and face my problems. I always… stagnate. That or run away. Both of which just make things worse. And I know they make things worse. But I don't fucking know how to stop." His entire body language gave off an air of downtrodden. Nadia didn't know what to say. How could she help with something like this? A problem facing his own problems? Doing something for him wouldn't help. It was more just about getting the courage up himself. And how was she going to help with that.

"Maybe… maybe you should set a goal for yourself. You know. Because, from what I can tell you have trouble facing some of your own problems. But if someone needs your help with something, you'll help them. You just have trouble doing it all alone. So how about, when we get back, you tell your parents. You  _promise me_  that you'll tell your parents. Because I think… if you don't want to let someone down, you won't."

He smiled. "Yeah. You're right. I'm fucking terrified of making phone calls, again, for no fucking reason. But, my friend needed to make a call once and she wasn't in a good place. Like, it was stressing her out too much. So I did it. Normally I'd never call someone."

"See? So, when we see our families again, you have to tell your parents. Otherwise you'll be letting me down." She grinned. "And your too-kind ass would hate to do that, right?"

He chuckled, shaking his head. "Why do you know me so well Waters. Okay, I'll tell my parents when we get back. I might come to you panicking but, you brought this on yourself."

"Oh well. So long as you do it."

He nodded slowly, staring off into the distance. After a second, he smiled. "You'd love my mom by the way. She's fuckin legendary."

"Well she gave birth to your weird ass so I'm not surprised."

He snorted. "I suppose. But like, a good example is when she found out my brother was having sex, condom in his room or something. She literally sat him down and told him that he had to eat his girlfriend out on a regular basis."

Nadia burst out laughing. "Fucking  _what?_ "

"I'm serious! She actually did that."

"I thought you were gonna say she got mad at him or something!"

He laughed, shaking his head. "No, she didn't. She's very progressive, a bit too much so really."

"No I wish every dude's mom told him to go down on girls." She couldn't hold it together and burst out laughing. "Fuck that's so funny!"

"I know! Poor Braiden was bright fucking red."

"Were you there?"

"I mean technically she was kinda telling both of us but she was clearly addressing him more. The only reason she didn't include my sister in the conversation, just in case she ever had a girlfriend, was because she was ten at the time."

"Jeez how old were you guys?"

"He was seventeen I was twenty two. Big age gaps."

"Yeah no kidding."

"Anyways. Any time Braiden introduces a girlfriend to our parents they always  _love_ our mom."

"What's your dad like?"

"Just imagine the single most awkward guy in the world. In every sense. He has this little desk thing in his office with wheels on the legs and I don't think I've ever seen him pass the table without hitting the wheel with his shoe and making it spin wildly. Fucker uses 'dang' and 'gosh' unironically."

"Oh my god, that's amazing."

He smiled, shaking his head, before glancing back at what they were working on, as if just remembering that they had stuff to do. "Christ we gotta do this! Get back to work fucker."

She laughed and went back to what she had been doing before. "I better be invited to this fuckin wedding by the way. Otherwise I  _will_ crash it."

"You'll probably be forty by the time it's able to even happen but sure."

"Hell yeah."

A few hours later, the lab was empty when Nadia walked in after getting some lunch. She had no idea where Brenley and Krupin were. There was a note on one of the counters and she recognized Brenley's handwriting. It was messy, but in a still readable way. ' _Heidi asked us to get some more people to help and Feliks got someone named Saoirse. She's a software engineer of some sort. She'll take over some of the coding stuff so we can work on building the parts. She'll probably be there before me since I got some stuff to do. Just, show her around.'_

Nadia stared at the paper. How on earth was she supposed to pronounce that name? The door opened and a woman walked in. She was probably early thirties, with her red hair shaved on one side so that the rest flopped over on the other side. But it wasn't really red, it looked like it used to be dyed a ginger that was verging on unnatural but it was growing out in its normal brown. She was pale with a good few piercings marching up her ears and one in her nose. Nadia looked at her. "Are you…?"

"Saoirse? Yeah." She pronounced it 'seer-sha' "I assume you're Nadia." For some reason she pronounced the A like the sound in man, as opposed to the A sound in lawn.

"Are you.. Irish?"

Saoirse grinned. "What gave it away. The accent, the name, or the fact I'm the color of a blind cave fish."

"All three?"

She chuckled. "Fair 'nuff. No yeah I'm Irish. Been living in Lincoln for awhile though."

"You're Irish and you decided to dye your hair red."

"People kept saying I should have red hair. Because, y'know. Finally decided to do it just to shut them up. And I kinda liked it." She put her elbows on the table, looking down. "What's the plan, like."

"To be honest, I don't really know. I think they want you to do some coding stuff, but I don't know what. Also it's all on their computers and I don't know the passwords."

"So we just wait?"

"Guess so. I can show you what's going on and stuff."

"Sounds good."

So she started showing her around, what they had been working on. Saoirse was very outspoken and loud. Not in an annoying way, she was just more extroverted than Nadia. Nadia watched her as she curiously peered down one of the microscopes. She knew her gaydar was pretty shitty but she was pretty damn sure that Saoirse was not into men. After all, she was wearing an amalgam of eighties clothes with mismatched colors. That along with the haircut and the piercings and just the way she held herself, she'd be very surprised if she turned out to be straight.

"So uh… do you know Krupin?" She asked.

Saoirse turned. "Well I work for him normally, not just on this planet. Wasn't super high in the ol' company but he kinda walked in on me makin' out with a girl after hours so… we became friends."

Well that confirmed it. Saoirse noticed her expression and smiled. "You don't look like the type to rat me out. Anyways, can't really do that here."

"Yeah no, I'm uh, I'm bi so… no worries." It felt weird saying that.

"Hah!" She held her hand up for Nadia to slap. "Alright baby gay!"

Nadia grinned and slapped it. "Baby?"

"Girl I've got a decade on you at  _least_."

She gave a grudging shrug. "I guess."

"What are you doing here anyways? Working with fuckin' boy wonder."

Nadia snorted. "My professor. I was with him here on a project 'til this all happened and since they go way back…" She trailed off and shrugged, letting Saoirse figure out the rest.

The door opened and Brenley walked in. His hair was loose and made the signature halo around his head. He smiled as he saw Saoirse. "Hey, you the one Feliks chose for this?"

"Yeah. Saoirse. I find people don't know how to pronounce my stupid name so I usually lead with that."

He chuckled and shook her hand. "Thanks, I wasn't sure… I'm Elias, or Brenley, whichever works."

"Right on. So, what am I doing here?"

He walked over and grabbed Feliks' laptop from the couch where it sat. "Basically we need you to convert some of the code. This stuff is set up to make earth cells, not Nephelai cells. And since you already work on the synthesizers you should know whats going on. But, we'll tell you how to change it to fit these cells." He set it up and logged in before passing it to her. She sighed and stretched her wrists.

"The one good thing about these fuckers taking over is that I didn't have to code. Thanks for this."

Brenley chuckled. "Sorry. Anyways, the first big difference is the cell membrane, it's much tighter and stronger than a normal phospholipid bilayer, it's mostly proteins. So take that part of the code and try to do this." He handed her a sheet of paper with a massive amount of instructions written down on it. "That's just how the membrane works, how it's put together, stuff like that. Do you know organic chemistry?"

"The basics. If I see a drawing I know what it means, I just couldn't really do the reactions myself."

"Right, that's fine. I did some drawings of how the proteins are made and interact. Obviously they're much bigger that these drawings but those are like, the important bits. That actually do stuff. So just see if you can get that going. Don't be afraid to ask any questions and we have ChemSim to test stuff out."

"Oof. ChemSim? That's pretty… eh."

"I know. But the others need massive processing power that we don't have. Unless you want to fly over to peak 240 or whichever houses the big computer to test stuff out."

She chuckled. "Fuckin ChemSim will have to do I guess."

"Exactly."

Nadia had exactly zero idea what Brenley had just told Saoirse to do. Well, she did know, but she had no idea how Saoirse was going to do what he asked. Program an alien cell membrane? She wouldn't even know where to start with that. But Saoirse didn't seem bothered at all by the task. She did know that ChemSim was basically what the name said. It simulated chemical reactions on a large scale, though it was kind of an old program. From doing her high school project on Krupin she knew that they had used ChemSim to simulate entire cells first before making them in real life, which had only been done a couple times before.

They got back to work and it was a good hour before the door opened again and Krupin returned. He grinned as he saw Saoirse sitting at the table.

"So you found the right room, impressive."

Saoirse grinned back and slapped Krupin's palm. "Hey man."

"Hey."

"How come I haven't seen you this whole time?"

"Lotta work. Oh and you know…" he gestured at the old bruises on his face. "Nazi fuckers."

"I'm sorry about that."

"Eh I can deal. Anyways, you probably already did introductions but just in case you didn't cover everything, this is Elias, we're together. Elias, this is Saoirse, biggest lesbian I know."

Saoirse laughed, turning to Brenley. "Man you didn't tell me that!"

"I didn't know if I should or not!"

"Fair enough. Jesus christ it's like the gay avengers in here isn't it."

Nadia chuckled as Krupin shrugged. "Kinda why I asked you to join."

She gestured between Brenley and Krupin "So, you two are together? Thought you were more of a one night stand kinda guy Feliks." Her comment was followed by a wicked grin.

"Thanks for that…"

Brenley turned, eyebrows raised. "Oh are you." The corners of his mouth showed he wasn't actually mad.

" _Anyways._ We were together in college, made the first synthesizer. Bit of a coincidence he ended up here."

Brenley glanced between them. "You two friends or something?"

"He kinda walked in on me making out with one of the other girls. So that's why we uh, know. Started hanging out a bit after that."

"That girl was straight right?" Krupin said, smiling

Saoirse grinned. " _Was,_  yes."

Nadia laughed. Somehow she both wanted to be and was kinda in love with Saoirse. She just exuded confidence and didn't seem to give a shit what others thought. Nadia wouldn't ever want to be in a relationship with her as she was just a bit too extroverted, but that didn't stop her from being damn attractive.

"Alright." Krupin said. "Well, we should probably get back to it. Saoirse, just set up wherever."

"I was already planning on taking over this whole couch area…" She gestured vaguely at the couches in the corner.

"Yeah, that's fine."

"Good. I'm gonna build a pillow fort."

He chuckled. "Enjoy that."

It wasn't that long before Saoirse spoke up from her place swathed in a fuzzy blanket among an absolute pile of pillows. "Man who the fuck wrote this?"

Brenley craned his head up from where he was still working with Nadia on the tank. "What?"

"This bit about transport proteins."

Krupin chuckled. "Probably Elias. He has an… interesting style to coding."

"It looks like a cat walked across the keyboard."

"Yeah…" Brenley said. "If it looks like that it was definitely me."

"How the fuck did you two make the first one together."

Krupin smiled down at his work. "I got used to his coding. Takes a bit."

"Can you two stop roasting me?" Brenley said, grinning.

"Absolutely not." Saoirse said. "This shit is some damn alphabet soup."

"Feliks you need to defend my honor."

"You have none to defend."

"Well fuck you too."

Nadia grinned, shaking her head, just enjoying the banter between the three of them.

Brenley leaned back, craning his neck so he was looking at Saoirse upside down. "It gets the job done."

"In about seven thousand lines more than it needs… You just need to thread the shit out of this and it would work fine, in a lot less lines."

"To be fair I'm shit at threading and never really figured out how to do it in CLGRFY."

Saoirse squinted at the screen. "I mean, it's a clever way around threading but just learn to thread!"

"I refuse."

Krupin chuckled.

"I have zero idea what you are talking about." Nadia said.

"Essentially he painted a full picture using pointillism to simulate the look of blending. From far away it looks blended but it takes ages longer. I mean, it's not exactly like that but, you get what I mean."

"Be aware that's what all of his code looks like." Krupin said.

"Oh  _good._ "

There was a noise as the door quickly opened and Heidi poked her head in, her face twisted into a grimace. "I'm sorry, but Feliks that GIRA guy is looking for you, he's gonna get mad if you're not out there soon."

" _Shit._ " He threw aside what he was working on and sprang to his feet, his chair screeching backwards. He followed Heidi out of the room and after a second, Brenley got up and walked out as well. Nadia considered whether or not to stay before leaving as well. Saoirse followed her with her eyes.

"Should I stay or…?"

"Yeah, probably. I should be back soon."

"Okay."

Nadia walked out into the commons to see a few people gathered around, looking at the GIRA members guarding the door. As she walked out, she could hear a yell come muffled from inside the room. Brenley tensed, his eyes on the door.

There was another yell and he started forward, going up to one of the GIRA members. "Make them stop! What are you doing to him?!"

Nadia's heart froze, but it was too late to stop him.

The man pushed the barrel of his handgun into Brenley's forehead and snarled. "This is none of your business nigger. Get lost."

Brenley glowered, his hands moved like lightning as he slapped the gun away and slammed the meat of his palm up into the man's nose. "Don't you  _dare_  call me that!" He stood, shocked at his own action. There were a few clicks as the other men aimed and cocked their guns at him. The man on the floor stood up, blood streaming from his nose. He twisted and gut-punched Brenley. The lanky professor doubled over and let out a pained grunt. The man picked up his gun and put it to to the back of Brenley's head. He went very still, still bent at the waist.

"Kneel, nigger. Or you'll be tasting lead." He didn't move. The man cocked the hammer back. "I said kneel."

Brenley sank to his knees, his head bowed. The man wiped his bloody nose on the front of his arm. He tapped the gun against Brenley's skull, "You're going to regret doing that." He reached down and unbuckled his belt, sliding it out of the loops. It made a soft metallic noise as he looped the end around his hand a couple times, leaving the buckle dangling about a foot and a half below the rest. Brenley visibly tensed as the buckle swung slowly next to his face. The man gestured to a guard next to him, "Keep the gun on him." He put his own gun in the holster at his hip. Nadia watched in horror as he raised the belt and brought it down across Brenley's back with a snap. The muscles in Brenley's jaw stood out and he let out a groan. His breath hissed through his teeth. The man wound up and struck him again. And again. A spot of red began to spread over his shirt, leaching through the fabric. Everyone watched the horrifically racist scene play out in front of them, shocked as the man whipped his belt over Brenley's back. Nadia wanted to do something, anything, to get the man to stop. But she seemed frozen in place, as if her feet wouldn't move even if she told them to.

Luckily someone else could. Another black man, about Brenley's age rushed forward. She had seen him around, he was an engineer of some sort. His friend standing next to him tried to stop him.

"Tavis!"

Tavis ran over to the man. "Stop you fucking asshole!" He rushed in front of Brenley, his back to the man, protecting him. The man brought out his gun and shot him. He stumbled and fell to the floor next to Brenley as the bullet entered his lower back. His friend rushed forward.

"TAVIS!"

Tavis gripped his back and let out a pained yell, squirming on the floor. Scott ran over and knelt next to him. The GIRA member with the gun still aimed it at Tavis, at his head this time. Scott held his hands up. "Don't shoot! Please."

There was a tense pause before he waggled the gun. "Get him out of here."

Scott nodded quickly and some of his team rushed over, half carrying half dragging Tavis into the other room. He screamed and grimaced. His friend walked next to them, holding his hand. As they left, Scott spoke quickly to one of his doctors, a man named Chati, who seemed to kind of be his second in command.

"Make sure some people are here for Elias and Feliks."

He nodded.

Brenley watched Tavis, dismayed. He was still kneeling. As the commotion quieted the man did one final lash, bringing the count up to nine. Brenley breathed hard, his body shaking slightly. The man threaded the belt through his belt-loops, his hand staining slightly pink as he touched the blood on it. There was a silence, punctuated only by Brenley's breathing, the back of his shirt was almost entirely red. The man took out his gun and waved it at him.

"If you  _ever_ do something like that again, you're getting hanged," he leaned in close, snarling. " _Nigger."_

Brenley stayed silent, staring at the floor, his jaw clenched.

"Got it?"

"...yes."

"Then get the fuck out of here." He holstered his gun and walked away. Nadia stared at him, etching his face into her mind, that hitler youth haircut, blue eyes, and slightly crooked nose. If she saw him in a different situation, she'd know exactly who he was.

Brenley put his hand on the floor and struggled to his feet, moving carefully with his wounded back. Nadia walked over to him as the man went back to his station at the door. She looked up at him, tearing her eyes away from the blood on his shirt.

"Fuck, are you alright?"

He glanced at her as Heidi and Chati. His voice was hesitant and low "That hurt more than I expected it to."

Chati sighed. "You might need stitches, I can give you some painkillers too."

Brenley nodded numbly. He walked tenderly next to Chati and Nadia followed them to the examination room. Brenley sat down on the metal table, his shoulders slightly hunched. Chati put on some gloves and gestured to him.

"Go ahead and take off your shirt. If you can."

Brenley unbuttoned his shirt slowly. He winced as he tried to twist and take the sleeves off. Nadia grabbed a sleeve and gently tugged it off his arm. His back was a mess. The buckle had tore at his skin, splitting it open in multiple places. Blood oozed out and dripped down his skin. Chait raised his eyebrows.

"...Shit." He picked up some gauze and pressed it into the lacerations. Brenley grimaced and hissed through his teeth. "I'll put on some local anesthetic. Stitches would hurt without it." He drew some clear liquid into a syringe and pushed it into Brenley's back. Nadia shook her head and leaned against the wall.

"Who does something like that."

Brenley looked up, his eyes tired, "Racists. A fucking bigoted-ass fascist piece of shit." He glared. "A piece of shit." His hands fidgeted uncontrollably. "Fucking cracker…. "

Chati prodded the inflamed skin. "Can you feel this?"

"Pressure. But not pain." He nodded. "Thanks." He seemed a little out of it, he mumbled through his words and his eyes didn't seem to focus on anything. The door banged open and Heidi walked in with Krupin. His face screwed up in a grimace as he breathed hard and fast. One hand held the other which was horrifically bloody. It dripped down his fingers to pool in his other hand. Brenley looked at him, his brows pulled down in a worried expression.

"Fil, are you alright?"

Krupin's spoke through clenched teeth. "They pulled out my damn fingernails." He looked up at Brenley, noticing the professors shredded back. "Holy shit what happened?"

"I got whipped." He mumbled.

Krupin's face fell. "Fuck. Are you alright?"

Brenley mumbled again. "Yeah. I think so."

"These people honestly deserve to die." He grimaced through a wave of pain. Chati ushered another doctor over.

"Here, take over Elias' stitches. I'll help Feliks."

The doctor nodded and Chati handed the needle off to him. He walked over to Krupin. "Okay, just hold your hand out" Krupin sat next to Brenley on the table, facing the other direction. Chati pressed some gauze into Krupin's fingers and his jaw clenched, a vein standing out in his temple. The white cloth quickly turned red with blood.

"There's not much I can do here other than give you painkillers."

"Nope, just painkillers is fine. Whatever the strongest one you have is. Got any horse tranquilizer? Maybe elephant?"

Chati gave a slight smile. "I'll see what I can do." He nodded to one of the doctors, "Go get that will you Maya?" She bobbed her head and walked out. Chati rolled his stool over to a drawer and fished through it, producing more gauze. He rolled back. "For now I'm going to try to stop the bleeding. You're going to have to do a lot of disinfecting in the next few weeks as it heals." He tied a strip around the base of Krupin's big thumb before moving on to his next finger. Krupin hissed and grimaced.

"Hoooooly shit that hurts." He watched the other doctor methodically stitch up Brenley's back. "I'm… I'm sorry Ellie. That's fucked up."

Brenley didn't even turn to glance at him, his eyes far away. "It's not your fault." He looked down at his hands, his lips moving as he repeated a word. He tapped his thumbs together rapidly. He put one hand down to support himself on the table and started cracking the knuckles of the other with his thumb. Once they wouldn't crack any more he continued with the motion, stretching and pulling at them. Krupin glanced down and innocuously shifted the hand he was leaning on so that it slightly overlapped Brenley's. Most people would think nothing of it. Krupin obviously felt bad that he couldn't do more in the given situation. Meanwhile Brenley was looking more and more tensed and stressed. His jaw muscles shifted as he ground his teeth together and the muscles in his forearms twisted and bunched while he clenched his fists.

It took awhile for the doctors to finish up bandaging them. When they were done Nadia and Krupin walked him back to the rooms. As Brenley walked in, Krupin stopped Nadia outside the door.

"I can take him from here. The less people he's around right now is probably for the better. I think everything that's going on is starting to overwhelm him a bit."

Nadia nodded. "Yeah, okay."

"Thanks Nadia. I'll see you in a bit." They parted ways and she went back to the lab area as he followed Brenley into the rooms. He was sitting on one of the stools, his hands still moving as he stared blankly ahead. He repeated a word, mumbling it slightly. Krupin went over to him and took his fidgeting hands into his own, being careful with his left hand which was swathed in bandage.

"Ellie, are you alright?"

Brenley jerked his hands out of Krupin's grasp. He continued repeating the word as he fidgeted. His eyes were downcast. " _Don't touch me_."

Krupin looked crestfallen as he watched Brenley curl one of his hands and wave it back and forth in front of his torso. "Ellie, it's alright. It'll be okay." There was a sudden movement as Brenley got quickly out of the stool he sat in and started pacing back and forth, back and forth. His hands jumped and flapped as he periodically covered his ears and squinted his eyes closed. In a flash he spun on his heel and yelled, as loud as he could. The ligaments stood out in his neck and a vein bulged in his forehead. He sucked air in through clenched teeth and yelled again. He continued pacing. Krupin watched him, not doing anything, just giving him space. As he got near a wall he yelled a third time and there was a massive crack as he punched the wall. Krupin jolted and stood up. "Ellie, you'll tear your stitches. It's alright. I'm here, okay?" Brenley shook his head violently and walked over to a chair, curling up on the edge of the seat. He grabbed his head, adjusting his grip every once in awhile. His right knuckles were bloody where he had cracked the wall. After a second he slammed his curled fist into the side of his head. Then did it again. And again. Krupin rushed over to sit opposite him, still staying a good distance away. "Ellie Ellie Ellie. Don't hit yourself. Shh it's okay."

He slowed his hands and gripped his head again. He kept repeating a word, mumbling it too much to hear. Krupin sighed and shook his head. "I'm so sorry. But you're okay. It's- it's over." Brenley let out a long groan and started rocking back and forth. His hands resumed twitching and jumping, ever once in awhile returning to their positions on his head. Krupin kept his voice soft. "Do you want me to turn the lights off."

Brenley bobbed his head slightly, still keeping it tucked to his chest. "Yeah." Krupin got up and walked over to the light switch, turning it off. As the room got darker Brenley lifted his head slightly but remained curled up and continued moving his hands. As Krupin walked back to him he sat across from him again and tilted his head. "Do you want to sit on the couch."

"Can't. Back."

"Do you want to lie down. Or do you want to stay here."

"I don't know." He said it so soft it was almost impossible to hear.

"Why don't we lie down. It'll be better."

"Okay."

Krupin nodded slowly and stood up. He waited as Brenley uncurled himself. It took a second as he stretched each long leg to the floor before standing up. He stood hunched slightly, his hands still moving. His fingers pulled at his thumbs and his hands repeated their movements by his shoulders. They walked over to their room and Krupin lay down in the bed. Brenley crawled over beside him, staying on his stomach. He wrapped one of his arms around Krupin's chest and pressed his face into his shoulder. It was a tight grip and he adjusted it, his fingers pressing into the muscles running down Krupin's rib cage. Krupin placed his arm over Brenleys and their legs tangled. They lay there, the only sound was their combined breathing as Brenley slowly calmed. Every once in awhile he'd jerk one of his limbs, just needing to  _move_ something. From this close, Krupin could hear what he was repeating.

" _Parastratiosphecomyia_   _Stratiosphecomyioides_.  _Parastratiosphecomyia_   _Stratiosphecomyioides. Parastratiosphecomyia_   _Stratiosphecomyioides."_

Krupin let out a breath through his nose and placed his hand on Brenley's upper back, being careful to avoid the bandages. He held his other, wounded hand by his chest. Eventually Brenley spoke softly into Krupin's shoulder.

"That hasn't happened in a while."

"It's okay. Is your back alright? You didn't tear any stitches?"

"I don't think so."

"What about your hand?"

"Nothing serious." He jerked his arm before settling it back into its previous position

There was a pause before Krupin ran his fingers over his arm. "I'm sorry that happened to you."

"It just kinda, freaked me out. And then the clinic, the lights and the talking and I don't really know those doctors… it all piled up."

"I know, it's alright."

Brenley sighed. "God, we're getting close to forty. Those shouldn't happen anymore."

"There's nothing wrong with it."

"I know. And I know I shouldn't care. But… it's embarrassing."

"Ellie, it isn't."

"Don't tell me what it is or isn't." His voice was biting. "You don't periodically act like a five year old having a tantrum in front of others. I know that I should say that it's part of me. That 'curing' it is ludicrous because it's part of who I am. And I think that logically. But, more.. emotionally, I don't. If there was a way to make sure that never happens again, if I could just go around crowded places and stuff like a normal person, I would do it. If I could never have to worry fidgeting all the time, or the embarrassment when I realize that I shouldn't have said what I did. If I never had to see the looks of pity on people's faces. If I never had to watch as they get bored while I talk endlessly about the things I like but I can't stop because I haven't told them everything yet. If I never had to deal with executive dysfunction, or getting annoyed by the slightest things, or any of that… I know I'm not supposed to think that way, that I should think that it's a part of me, that this is how I am and this is how I'll always be. But if there was a way to cure it, I would." His limbs periodically twitched throughout his whole speech.

"You're not fucked up, the world is. For not knowing how to deal with autism."

"I get mad at people for  _eating._ I've gotten pissed because someone was  _breathing_. Are they just supposed to eat and breath quieter because at any point someone with autism might in the room? I know what you're trying to say, that people should be more educated, and they should, but that doesn't stop the fact that I can't stand busses and most other people have no problem with them. I just want to be able to use the bus like anyone else. Without practically shutting down because there's too much going on." He jerked one of his legs. Krupin didn't seem to mind nor commented on the fairly frequent movements. "Like, sometimes I hate the way you walk."

Krupin frowned. "The way I walk?"

"Yeah. You kind of drag your heels and you face your feet slightly out, like a duck."

That made Krupin grin. "Like a duck?"

"Just a little. And- and I know it's a shitty thing to complain about that would make me seem like an asshole, so I don't. But that doesn't stop that I get annoyed sometimes at the way you walk and I don't know how to…. not."

He sighed. "Talking about curing depression is fine, talking about lessening the symptoms of ADHD is fine. As soon as I say I wish I was more normal, people freak out. People shouldn't force trying to 'fix' people with autism. But, what if that's just how I feel. See the whole 'it's the rest of the world that needs to change' that's addressing how everyone treats people with autism. And, for me that's not the bad part. I don't really care that people view me as quirky or weird. I mean, I do a bit but... I just want to be able to walk through a mall without getting stressed out of my mind." He paused, his eyes slightly downcast as he took a few breaths. "I hate it. I hate having aspergers. And I hate how shitty I feel saying that. I'm letting down everyone else who has it."

"It's okay Ellie. You're allowed to get mad." He glanced at him and for the first time noticed his eyes were red and a tear was tracing it's silent way down his cheek. "Oh, baby it's okay."

"Fuck. I'm crying because of this and you've gone through so much worse."

"Don't think of it like that. Never think of it like that. Also i've cried fucking dozens of times. It's okay honey."

He sniffed, pressing his face into Krupin's shirt. "I love you."

"I love you too." He turned onto his side. "I don't think I've ever seen you cry."

Brenley smiled as tears continued to roll down his face. "Good. Because I look like shit when I cry."

"Why is that. Why have I never seen you cry."

"Happens once in a blue moon."

Krupin noted his slightly terse response. "Do you not want to talk?"

"Not really."

"Okay. We don't have to."

So they lay in silence. Brenley desperately wanted to sleep or rest somehow but he couldn't. He had to move. If he didn't move any part of his body in a fairly violent way every once in awhile it would feel like it was itching from the inside, or tickling, it was hard to explain but as the feeling built up he had to move the limb for it to go back to normal. If he didn't do that, he'd probably explode.

In the lab room, Nadia walked back in to see Saoirse in the same exact position she had been in before. She looked up from the computer. "That wasn't what I'd count as 'soon'."

Nadia sat heavily on one of the chairs. "One of those GIRA guys whipped Brenley for speaking up."

Saoirse's face fell. "What?"

"Yeah. With his belt. He called him the n-word and stuff."

"Shit. Is he okay?"

"I think so. He's with Krupin in the rooms. They probably won't be back today."

"I mean, it's getting kinda late so I wouldn't expect them to."

"Yeah…" She looked down at her hands.

Saoirse watched her, her brow furrowed. "What about you? You okay?"

"I wanted to do something, to get the guy to stop, but I couldn't move. I don't know why."

"I mean, sometimes in situations like that, you just freeze. It's just part of being human."

"I know. But still. I just watched. I just watched that happen to him. And another guy, Tavis, I don't know if you know him, he did something. He stepped in front of him and the guy, shot him in the back. I don't even know if he's gonna be okay."

"Fuck."

"I should have done something."

"Then it would have been you who got shot."

"I don't know about that. I'm white. Those guys don't… hate me. He might have just shoved me or something." She shook her head and placed her chin in her palm. "Fuck I feel like shit. Brenley's my  _friend_. And I could have done something. But- but I fucking didn't."

"Listen, you can't go back in time girl. Just, do what you can in the future."

"Yeah. I suppose."

Krupin didn't remember falling asleep, but when he woke up, Brenley wasn't there. He stared at the empty space next to him, then pulled up the blankets to his neck and shifted, turning over. He didn't want to get out of the bed, because that meant facing everyone, so he just adjusted his head on the pillow and stared at the wall, thoughts running through his mind.

On the other side of the building, Brenley hesitantly entered the clinic room. Tavis glanced up from the bed there, spotting him. Brenley sighed.

"I'm so sorry man."

"Hey it's not your fault. It's those racist fucks."

He made his way over to the bed and sat down on a chair, keeping stiff and straight so his back didn't touch it. "How are you holding up?"

"Uh… okay I guess. Apparently my legs don't work anymore. And, I'm normally a ship engineer. Kind of need those for that. But, don't feel guilty. It's not your fault at all. How are you holding up? Your back…"

"Got 27 stitches. And I can't really move my back. But, it's nothing compared."

"We have to stick up for each other."

"Yeah." He paused. "Honestly I am sorry though. If I had just done what he said, if I hadn't gotten mad, none of this would have happened."

"Nah man, if he had done that to me I would have taken it but I would have hated myself for not doing what you did."

Brenley nodded slowly. "I'm still sorry." He glanced away. "I'm gonna kill that man. When we get out of here, when we get some weapons and make a break for it I'm gonna find him and kill him."

Tavis looked at him, seeing he was serious. He nodded. "Tell him that I've never wanted there to be an afterlife more, just so he can rot in hell."

Brenley smiled. "I'll be sure to pass the message along."

There was a short pause as they both contemplated it, then Brenley shook his head, smiling. "God. How did we end up in this situation."

"Yeah. I mean it's shitty for everyone but, it's worse for us."

"Definitely. You can just see the disgust in their faces when they pass. We can't put a toe out of line or they're gonna bring strange fruit back into fashion."

Tavis chuckled darkly, then shook his head. "The worst part is no one back home thinks they're that bad."

"They will after this."

"For a bit yeah, then go back to ignoring them because they mainly just target black people."

Brenley shook his head, "No. People will remember this. Man how many brothers are up here? It's mostly white people. That means it won't be forgotten. 9/11 and all that."

"True."

"Here I knew you might be a bit bored here so I brought this." He took his tablet out of his pocket and extended it to it's full size. "I have monopoly n shit."

Tavis chuckled. "Yeah, sure." He struggled to sit up higher, his arms shaking under the strain.

"You good?"

"Yeah. It's just a bit harder without my legs. That and I have a massive wound in my back." There was a small table desk type thing that folded up from the side of the bed and he set it up over his lap. Brenley put his tablet on it and they started playing. Tavis glanced at him.

"So, what do you do normally?"

"I'm a professor at Rutherford. Biology and chemistry."

"Oh right. That's cool man."

"You're a ship engineer right?"

"Yeah. I used to work at Boeing. Layoffs. Y'know."

"Ah. Rough."

"Yeah. I only came here a few months before all this shit happened." He frowned slightly. "Where you from? You got a bit of an accent there."

Brenley chuckled. "Yeah. I'm from Beauvoir originally but I've been living in America, well, Lincoln then Roosevelt, for… twenty years." He glanced to the side. "Jesus has it been that long. Yeah, twenty years. What about you?"

"I'm boring. I'm from Washington, the state, not the capital."

"Right. Never been there."

"It's pretty boring."

Brenley chuckled. "Alright. I'll take your word for it." He glanced to the side, trying to think of things to talk about. "What do you want to do when you get back? Everyone here seems to have something they're really looking forward too."

Tavis shrugged, smiling. "Have sex with my girlfriend."

Brenley snorted. "Okay well that's understandable."

"You got a girlfriend?"

He grimaced slightly. "Not… really."

"Not really? Man what's that supposed to mean."

"I uh, I have a… boyfriend."

"Oh. Right. You looking forward to seeing him then?"

Brenley relaxed at his response. "Well, he's actually here."

"Really? Who is it?"

"I might want to ask him before telling you, just in case you know."

"Yeah that's understandable. You're all good."

"Next time I come here I can probably tell you."

"Right on." He tapped the screen to overturn a card and grimaced. "Aw fuck. I gotta go to jail. This game is  _racist_."

Brenley chuckled. "Rip."

They stayed silent for a bit before Tavis glanced over at him. "It was pretty cool what you did to that guy. Have you ever been called that before?"

He nodded slightly. "Only once. Maliciously I mean. I grew up in a pretty tolerant place but it was mainly white kids. So I got called blackie by them and oreo by the black kids. I used to know almost nothing about black culture. I know a bit more now but still… don't really fit in with either."

"Yeah. I mean, I grew up in a black neighborhood and I always hated when white people would give me looks like I was stupid or dangerous. But I suppose acting more white isn't a solution. No way to win huh."

"Exactly."

They continued playing for a few hours, chatting casually about stuff. Eventually Brenley had to leave. He stood up. "I'll be back later. It was nice to… get to know you."

"Yeah same."

"Alright. See you later man."

"See you." They slapped palms and he left, closing the door behind him.

In the weeks following, they fairly quickly became friends and Brenley spent quite a lot of time playing games with him and just generally hanging out. They were a bit of an odd pair as normally they would probably wouldnt come in contact with each other enough to become friends, but because of this situation, they did. It didn't take long for Brenley to seemingly get over what happened but Nadia noticed whenever she asked how his back was feeling he'd tense up and wouldn't say much, and whenever the GIRA members were in the same room he'd stay quiet, his eyes downcast. What had happened really made people tiptoe around the invaders, they now knew no one was safe from them.


	11. Chapter 11

**Early February**

“I’m gonna kick your ass.”

“Man I dunno if you even could.” Brenley said, his eyes drooping as he slightly slurred his words. “You ready to take on a hundred and fifty pounds of pure muscle?”

They were sitting in the living room after most everyone else had gone to bed, a good few beers down. Brenley had calculated it out and it was the early morning hours of february 5th, her birthday, so they decided to get drunk as a way to celebrate. Nadia had only had a few beers whereas Brenley was sitting in a veritable pile of cans. She was still quite tipsy though, she had always been a lightweight.

Nadia couldn't help but laugh at his comment. He laughed as well, attempting to take a drink at the same time.

“A hundred and fifty??” Nadia said. “You weigh the same as I do! What the fuck!”

“Wai- really?”

“Yeah!”

“Well realistically I’m probably a hundred and forty. The hair’s ten pounds.”

She snorted and they took a second to gather themselves. “How the fuck do you weigh a hundred and fifty. You eat like a raccoon in a dumpster.”

“I dunno. I guess I have a high metabolism? I can’t seem to gain weight.”

“Maybe you have worms.”

He laughed in his distinct high and wild way. “Shit!”

She laughed as well. “What?! It's a possibility!”

“I’m not a sheep shitface!”

They didn't speak for a second as they calmed down from laughing. Eventually, Nadia gestured at him. “You’re gay right.”

He giggled. “That tends to be what one is when dating someone of the same gender.”

“No I mean like, you're gay gay right? Not bi or anything?”

He nodded. “Yup. I’m just gay. Unfiltered unprocessed organic gay.”

She chuckled. “Fuck off. It’s just… I don’t get that. You’ve _never_ seen a woman and gone ‘I’d tap that’. Like, never?? Not in a ‘you should be straight’ way but recently I’ve been very confused about the whole concept of being attracted to just one gender.”

“Well, nope. Never.”

“Man what the fuck. How does that work. How do you just like… not find women attractive. Like, you see a pair of boobs and it's like ‘no honey! Not for mua!’”

He laughed. “I guess?? Man I dunno how the fuck it works!”

“What about like, nonbinary peeps. What about them.”

“I dunno. I’d have to run some tests.” He held his hand out flat. “Y’know. Scientific method that shit. I mean, I’ve never personally been attracted to a nonbinary person but also I don't know that many. As in, I know one.”

“Okay okay. Say you see a dude. And he’s super hot. Muy caliente. And 100% your type. And you’re like ‘ooooh yes.’ Then, then, they come out as a trans woman. What then? Does your attraction just, stop?”

He stared into the distance for a few long seconds. Then glanced at her. “Man why the fuck are ya asking me all this shit? I don't know!”

“Because because if gender isn't real or whatever the fuck. It’s a social construct. How can you only be attracted to one gender?”

“I’m not an expert! I’m a simple gay idiot! I don’t know this shit! All I know is that I’ve only ever been attracted to dudes. Who knows. Maybe I see a woman in the future and I’m like ‘well fuck. Guess I’m bi’ but for now, fairly sure I’m just plain ol’ gay.”

“Hmph.”

There was a long pause before Nadia took another sip, staring down, her eyes not focusing on anything in particular. She was starting to really feel the effects of the booze. It was at the stage where her head almost felt off balance, like if she tipped it too far to the side it would simply flop onto her shoulder. She took another sip and fiddled with her can of beer, wiping the condensation off with her thumbs and watching it run in tiny rivulets down the aluminum.

“Man I still don't get why you chose me for this. I'm so, average. That was a fun discovery to make honestly. In grade school I was always the smart one. People were like ‘ah Nadia- Nadia’s smart n shit’ then in high school I realized I wasn't that great then I come to Rutherford and I was like ‘fuck, I'm literally just average here’ no one- no one wants to be average. But that's the thing. The majority of people are.”

Brenley smiled slightly. “Ooh we’re getting into the deep shit now.”

“Fuck yeah. I dunno, I'm just insecure as shit about everything. My looks, my weight, my intelligence. Everything.”

“People tend to assume they're the insecure ones and everyone else is well adjusted. But we’re all insecure.” He sloppily placed his hand on his chest. “Boy I'm insecure because I'm autistic as fuck. I always worry over stuff I can't do because of it, or how people view me. Also I don't like how skinny I am. For a while when I was younger I’d find ways to get out of swimming and stuff so I didn't have to take my shirt off.” He sighed. “Nadia in high school I had one friend. And I think she was mainly taking pity on me. I didn’t get asked out or even flirted with until Feliks and I finally told each other what we were feeling.” He glanced down. “I was twenty one.”

She looked down as well. “I’ve never loved someone romantically.”

“What?”

“I’ve dated three guys and it was always just, what I thought was expected to happen. I never… felt that strongly about them. And they never felt that strongly about me. Every fucking birthday that passes I just keep thinking that no one’s ever gonna love me.”

He looked at her a second as she stared into her drink. Her face felt hot. “Nadia. It took me ages to realize, the world tells you you’re not complete without a significant other. And- and that’s wrong. You don’t need anybody.”

“I know that! I just- I want what you have. I want someone I can call insulting names and they’ll understand I do it because I love them. I want- I just want that.”

“You basically only call Sky bitch.”

“Yeah and if friends could get married in a friend way and live together for the rest of their lives as friends then that would be cool. Fuck romance. But, that’s not a thing.” She glanced away. “Anyways I still wanna kiss her stupid face. Or James’.”

“I know what you mean. I didn't think there was anyone out there who’d like me. It isn’t fun thinking that, no one wants you. Even autistic people want to fall in love. I just knew it was going to be hard, if not impossible, to find someone to put up with my shit. Let alone a gay guy. I think why I fell head over fucking heels for Feliks was partly because he was the first _friend_ I had as well. He was the first one who didn’t just respond with ‘mm-hmm’ while looking at a phone when I was talking. The thing is that some social cues I can pick up on. Like when someone is getting bored with what I’m saying. But… once I’m on a subject it's… hard to stop. It’s hard to explain. My brain is telling me ‘look fucker, they don't care. Stop talking’ meanwhile my mouth keeps running on and on.” He glanced away, shaking his head slightly. “Someone once accused me of being sexist because I was kind of talking over this one woman. It made me feel like shit. Because- because sometimes I just don’t know how to stop.”

“But, you’re so smart. You’re miles above a ton of people in that sense. I mean you have fucking two PhD’s! There is literally nothing that I’m in like, the 90th percentile of. Not intellect or grades or anything.”

“Well first off, the two PhD’s was a stupid decision by an idiot twenty year old trying to be impressive. Two idiot twenty year olds really. It made me and Feliks’ life so fucking hard and stressful and I regret everything about it. I should have just done a postdoc like a normal person. But noooo. We decided that doing two doctorates at the same fucking time was a good idea. It isn’t.”

“Oh yeah, he has two too...”

“Yeah. It might be impressive to some people but to other doctors it's just, I dunno. You get weird looks. It's not impressive it's a sign of being all uppity and ‘better than thou’ and I’m glad I’m not the arrogant little shit I used to be.”

“Jesus I don’t get ‘arrogance’ off you at all.”

“I mean, yeah I thought I was crap at some things. But I used to think I was the absolute shit smarts wise. It's not like I was vocal about it but like… I thought everyone other than me was an idiot. A lotta eye rolls and stuff at people who just were asking questions.”

“Arrogance or not you are still super smart. I like to think I’m in the upper ranges of smarts but I am definitely not.”

I’m either amazing at something, or absolutely shit. I doubt there's much you're in the zero-th percentile of. Meanwhile my autistic ass is out there with the social skills of lungfish.” Nadia snorted and he grinned, shaking his head. “It’s true.”

“I mean, it might have been rough for you in highschool and stuff, and I’m sorry about that, but Brens, everyone at school _loves_ you! You’re- you’re the weird crazy chemist! The one who blows up shit and brings flamethrowers into class. Who actually has the crazy science hair.”

“I feel like that’s more just cause I’m black but I’ll take it.”

“I’m serious though. I mean there are a few fuckers who go on their phones the whole class then turn around and say you're a bad teacher when they fail a test but other than them people love you! Sky actually said that your weirdness is kinda charming.”

“Huh.” He stared into the distance. “Isn’t Sky a massive lesbian?”

Nadia laughed. “Fuck, yeah she is man.”

“Knew it.” He said, chuckling. “By the way, James is awesome n all but I’d be lying if I said I didn't want it to end up gay. Also you and Sky are perfect for each other! You have the same fucked up sense of humor and you two are inseparable. It’s like when me and Feliks were in college. Also, if she doesn't love you romantically, she still loves you! You’re not unlovable Waters.”

“But… she’s _so out of my league._ ”

“Look at Feliks!”

“You're good looking too! Honestly Feliks is almost… too handsome.”

He chuckled. “What??”

“Yeah! Like- like you know those superman movies from the 2010’s? The kinda shitty ones? What was the actor in those.”

He glanced away. “Fuck. It's- it's on the tip of my tongue.” He snapped his fingers a few times. “Henry Cavill!”

“Yeah! Feliks is like him. It's like… he looks vaguely fake.”

Brenley laughed. “Okay yeah I can see where you're coming from. I love him to bits but just purely appearance wise, Feliks actually isn't really my type.”

“And what is your type?”

His shoulders rolled in a broad shrug. “Black dudes. I don't really know if that's racist.. Is that racist?”

“You, a black person, are asking me, a white person, if something's racist.”

“Mmm. Yeah true. Anyways It's very rare that I look at a white guy and go ‘ooh gimme some o’ dat ass.’ happens all the time with black guys. Anyways, back to Sky. It just seems like you’d be great together..”

“That was a quick ass change of subject.”

“You would though!”

“I dunno. I mean, she’s awesome. And I’d love to, be with her. But, I don’t even know if she likes me. James, I guess, does. And he’s… I dunno, kind of adorable. He’s really nice to me. Like, really nice. And funny. With Sky, I don’t want to fuck up our friendship. Not to mention that whatever you say she’s like a solid nine to my five.” She let out a sigh. “I’ve always hated what I looked like. My body is just, blegh. If I wear loose clothing it’s not bad but my stomach is all squishy and gross.”

“Remember how I said I didn't want to take my shirt off when I was younger because I’m so skinny? I… don’t really give a shit now. I mean, I do, but less so. You're 23, well 24 now ayoo.”

She grinned and raised her can. “Ayoo.”

“Anyways, you're probably a bit better than you were at 16, self image wise.”

“Well, yeah.”

“It just keeps going up. I used to care a lot about this stuff. About how other people saw me. Now I could kind of not give a shit. I mean obviously I do care but not that much.”

“Mm. Yeah. I just try to keep in mind what you said, that everyone’s insecure.”

“‘Zactly. I mean, I won't tell you what because he’s my boyfriend and stuff he tells me in confidence I’d never just, spill, but there are things Feliks is insecure about. And he’s a fucking nobel laureate billionaire. Ooh that's another insecurity. I have never thought and probably never will think I’m good enough for him.”

“Whaat? Man you two are perfect for each other!”

“It's just, he’s super hot and smart and personable n shit and I’m… an autistic fucker who can't function without a pencil. Fuck I don't even know why he’s with me. I don’t know why of all people _he_ decided to be friends with me and actually… spend time with me.”

Nadia gestured with her drink, slurring her words slightly. “Nah son… I can’t blame him. Man I used to have a _massive_ crush on you.”

Brenley stilled, his brows furrowing. “You did?”

“Yeah! Why do you think I came to your office all those times? I mean I knew it wasn' gonna go anywhere but, a girl can hope.” She waved her hand vaguely. “Anyways.”

Due to the amount of alcohol she had consumed she didn't notice how red Brenley’s face was. He shifted awkwardly in his chair, glancing to the side. Nadia set her now empty can down.

“What time is it?”

“Uh, almost twenty five.” He said, not meeting her eyes as he looked at his phone.

“Christ. I gotta go to bed.” She stood up, swaying slightly. “Nighty night Brens.”

“...Night.”

After a while of sitting and staring blankly into the distance, Brenley drained his beer then stood up, blinking to clear his head. He stumbled over to the kitchen and filled a large glass of water. He drank it then filled it again and drank it. Then, he set the glass aside and went to the bedroom. He fumbled in getting his clothes off and got on the bed, crawling over to Krupin and grinning, kissing his neck. “Hey babe.”

Krupin turned over, his voice sleepy. “Jesus Ellie you smell like a distillery.”

“Issa cologne.” He said, giggling slightly.

“Sure.”

“Aw why are you so grumpy?”

“Because you're wasted.”

“Thas no reason to be grumpy.” He kissed his neck again and wrapped his arm around his torso.

“Ellie stop.”

“Mph. Why.” He ran his hand over his skin, pressing closer.

“ _Elias_!” Krupin snapped. Brenley was shocked into silence. His arm retreated. Krupin shook his head and turned onto his side, facing away. “Go sleep on the couch.”

“...I’m sorry.”

He turned back over slightly. “El I have a shit relationship with alcohol and seeing you pissed while I'm completely sober isn't helping matters. So, can you just sleep on the couch?”

“I thought you didn't mind if I drank.”

“Yeah I didn't, until I realized just now exactly what that means. I gotta think about this shit okay?”

“Yeah…” He stood up off the bed. “I'll go. I’m- I'm sorry about that.”

“It's okay.”

“Love you.”

“I love you too.”

Brenley grabbed his pillow and left the room, closing the door behind him. He opened the door just a crack and poked his head back in. “G’night.”

“Night El.”

* * *

The next morning, Krupin wandered into the kitchen, yawning. He flicked the lights on, prompting a groan from Brenley’s form on the couch. Krupin pressed the button to start the kettle boiling and filled a glass of water. He walked over and set it on the coffee table.

“Drink up.”

Brenley sat up tiredly and grabbed the glass, still a bit foggy.

“Thanks Fi.”

“Yeah.”

There was a silence as he gulped down a few swallows. “Hey, I'm really sorry about last night. I was so out of it I barely considered how shitty it might be for you.”

“It's fine. Listen, a lot of my friends drink, and they drink around me. I discovered that while I am 100% addicted to alcohol, I'm not really to marijuana, like at all. So sometimes if me and Kris are alone for a night we’ll just get pissed. Her with half a bottle of gin and me with like, seven joints.”

“Wait really? You still smoke weed?”

“Well it doesn't have the same pull on me. I drank to forget my problems. With weed it's just, a way of having fun. Probably doesn't technically follow the rules of sobriety but goddamn, I need some way to get pissed with my friends. But anyways, that's kind of my point. Once we get back to mars, or salus, whatever, I don't mind having nights where we just get wrecked. And here, I don't mind when there's quite a few people and while some might be drinking, no ones drunk. The thing is just when you're that far gone and I'm sober, and we’re alone? I- I don't really like it. I didn't know I didn't like it until yesterday. Not to say you can't get drunk here. Just… if you get that bad I’d prefer we don't do stuff alone. Including going to bed.”

Brenley nodded. “Okay. Yeah that makes sense. And, again I'm sorry about last night.”

“It’s okay. Um, Heidi wanted to talk to us. She told me over the headset this morning.”

“About what?”

“Getting guns or something.”

“Oh right. Should we go find her?”

“Yeah. After breakfast, I’m starving.”

“Sounds good.”

A few hours later, Nadia woke up feeling terrible. Partly because she had an epic hangover and partly because she vaguely remembered telling Brenley she used to have feelings for him. She put her head in her hands, groaning. Her vague memory of telling him was confirmed when she walked out into the kitchen and Brenley, who was alone, barely glanced at her, he just said “hey” softly.

She glanced to the side, whispering under her breath. “ _Shit._ ” She hadn’t even told the truth. She certainly had not had a massive crush on him, not even close. He was just attractive and smart and funny and she vaguely liked him. Anyways after they watched dune he had walked her home, they were both very drunk and even then she was happy when he just came into her flat to sober up a bit before walking home, nothing more. That’s when she realized it was just a matter of wanting to be his friend. She watched as he perched on one of the stools by the counter and started on a slice of toast. He didn't look at her as he slowly ate it.

Nadia let out a long breath. Why did she always say stupid things when she was drunk? And why did she get drunk so damn easily. She walked over and pulled up a stool, sitting across the counter from him.

“Brenley… I uh,” she fiddled with her hands. “I wanted to apologize. For last night.”

“It’s fine Nadia.”

“No. I feel like I made things weird. And I’m sorry for that. I was pretty drunk. And I shouldn’t have said that.”

“It’s fine.”

She put her hands on the counter. “Just to be clear I don’t feel that way anymore. Haven’t for a while. It was just when I was an undergrad, and you were really smart and funny and nothing like the nerdy guys I knew. Because, I don't know if you know but most of them are shitty assholes with victim complexes. But trust me, that was, a long time ago. And I know you one hundred percent never saw me that way. So I’m sorry I ever said that.”

He glanced down. “It just surprised me. That's all.”

She smiled slightly, trying to break the tension. “C’mon, you can’t tell me you never had a crush on a teacher.”

He looked up, then smirked. “Monsieur Lebrun. Physics in high school, well, not high school but I was about fifteen, French system is different n’ all. Partly because, physics and I’m a massive nerd and partly because,” He paused and pinched his fingers together, looking up to the sky. “Hot _dayum_ that dude was good looking.”

She laughed before glancing down, smiling slightly. “Listen, I never thought I’d be legit friends with one of my professors and I really don't want to fuck that up so can we maybe just leave my stupid drunk confessions behind?”

“Yeah. It is… a thing of the past though right?”

“Definitely.”

“Okay.” He grinned. “Man you are a fucking lightweight aren’t you? A couple beers and you’re confessing all this shit.”

“You wish you were a lightweight. My friends have to spend all this money on getting drunk and I spend like, two bucks.”

“Never thought of it like that…”

She raised her eyebrows. “See? It’s better.”

He grabbed a folder from the countertop and lightly bopped her on the forehead. “Excuses Waters, excuses.”

She chuckled. “Excuses that make sense, Elias.”

“Elias? You never use my first name.”

“Yeah well half the time you call me Waters so… fair’s fair.” She reached out and grabbed his other piece of toast, prompting an indignant look from him.

“Don’t steal my toast!”

“Too late.” She pointed at the folder. “What’s in that?”

He flipped it open and scanned it while absentmindedly taking another bite from his toast. “Part of a paper I was writing before this all shit happened. About uh, organic chemistry reactions in cellular respiration.” He started explaining it to her, while she would normally be interested her face soon adopted a vacant look. He grinned.

“Hangover huh?”

“Yeah.” She rubbed her face, as if trying to massage away the headache. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay. It’s not physics. I can actually chill with talking about it.”

“Mm. Do you have a hangover? Because holy shit I feel terrible.”

“Yeah, a bit. But I drank a fuckton of water before going to bed so it's not too bad.”

She groaned. “Aw I didn't drink any.”

“Oof. That's gotta be bad then.”

“It is. Can you get your fuckin genius boyfriend to invent a hangover cure?”

He chuckled. “I’ll see if I can.”

There was a long silence before she smiled at him. “You know, a lot of the girls in my classes with you were in love with you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah! Man, you just can’t pick up on hints.”

“Already kinda knew that.” He stared into the distance. “Are you serious? I had no idea.”

“Yeah. Man most professors are old and stuffy. Or just, weird. Then you stroll in looking like a damn grad student and don't give a shit about the rules and swear and make jokes and blow shit up, it’s not surprising. Remember when whatsherface, Grace or something, slashed her hand open on broken glassware? I don't know how she was doing it with gushing blood but she was making some damn heart eyes at you when you were helping her. You didn't pick up on that? She was practically doing the Indiana Jones writing on the eyelids.”

“No… I didn’t.” He had a faraway look.

It took her a second to figure out why. “Hey. Who cares if you’re a bit shit at picking up on signals? You’re with mr. rich-blue-eyes now, no need to be able to pick up on those.”

He tilted his head, smiling slightly. “I guess. Unless we split up.”

“Man if you two split up there's no hope for anyone else.”

“Mm.” There was a short pause before he glanced at her. “Hey, I think we’re going to see if we can get a GIRA guy on his own today and see if we can get him to tell us where they keep the guns.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“What’s the plan then?”

“I was talking with Heidi and Feliks and we were thinking that the best way would be to snatch one of the GIRA men patrolling outside with one of the banshees. So, either Sputnik or Trotsky.”

“Okay. That sounds good. Can we do it in a couple hours though? My head is murdering me and I think looking at bright snow might actually kill me right now.”

He smiled. “Yeah. Yeah go sleep off your hangover you disaster.”

“Thanks.”

“Happy birthday by the way.”

“Oh yeah, thanks.”

She slowly went back to her bedroom where she turned off the lights, curled up under her blankets and promptly went back to sleep. Brenley looked back at his paper for a while when James walked in the door.

Brenley looked up. “Oh, hey.”

“Hey. Where’s Nadia? I only just heard it was her birthday today.”

“She’s in her room, sleeping off a hangover. I’d wait until she gets up.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. We may have gotten a lil’ drunk last night.”

“Oh right.” He wandered over to the couch and sat, staring into the distance. After a minute or so of silence, Brenley sighed.

“James.”

“Yeah?”

“Boy I swear to god you need to tell Nadia. Like. Ahora. Now, son.”

The unexpected subject made James stutter. “Uh- uh yeah. Yeah I want to. W-why? I mean, why all the sudden…?”

“Just tell her. Okay? Now. As soon as possible.”

“Why?”

“Because she likes you as well. I can almost guarantee it's gonna be a yes. Also when we got a tiny bit drunk and lets just say she uh- kinda thinks no one likes her, romantically, and you obviously do. It’ll just, make her feel a lot better. Okay? Because- she revealed some shit to me and I just- I care about her and I hate knowing that she thinks like that about herself. So just man the fuck up and tell her. I know that’s a sexist term but I can’t think of one with the same meaning. Got it?”

“Yeah, I want to. I've just never been good at this kinda thing.”

“You're telling me.”

James frowned slightly.

Brenley rolled his eyes slightly, as if gesturing to his head with them. “Aspie thing.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, I know what it's like to be shit at this. It’s just, rip the damn band-aid off.”

“O-okay. I’ll try.”

Brenley nodded, then glanced to the side. “Hey do you think you could get Trotsky to grab one of the GIRA men?”

“What??”

“We’re gonna try and get info off one of the guys. We need a banshee to pick one up. So probably either you or Nadia is going to have to do it.”

“Sounds dangerous. They patrol with guns right?”

“We’ll try to find a dumbass who set his gun down or something.”

“Okay… well, I can do it. I don't want to put Nadia in that situation.”

“Oh trust me man, she probably wants to be in that situation. You two can talk, figure out who’s going.”

* * *

A few hours later, Nadia and James were standing in the tunnel, waiting for Brenley and Krupin. It was cold, like always, and Nadia stood with her arms crossed in an attempt to conserve heat. James leaned against the wall of the tunnel, looking out towards the entrance, his face illuminated by the light off the blinding snow.

“Okay, I should do it. Grab the guy.”

“No.” Nadia said, “I’ll do it.”

“It’s too dangerous.”

“But not dangerous if you do it??”

“Nadia I don’t want to see you hurt! Because- because I think you know why!”

There was a short silence as she stared at him. His face showed that he had not meant to make that particular confession in that way.

She glanced to the side, shaking her head slightly. “Well I think you know why I don’t want you going either.”

They stared at each other. Finally, James spoke up. “Trotsky’s white. He’s less likely to be seen in the snow.”

“If we’re sneaking up behind the dude, it won’t matter either way.”

“Fine. We’ll do what Brenley and Krupin do. Rock paper scissors.”

“Okay, sure.”

They pumped their fists three times then presented them. James won with rock. “Okay, I go.”

“Fine.”

James swallowed, looking down, not knowing what to say. The situation was saved by the door to the tunnel being opened and closed, making a metallic clang that reverberated through the air. Nadia instantly recognized Brenley’s purple coat and Krupin’s white goggles. Her and James frowned.

“You’re coming too?”

Krupin shrugged. “The last time they asked for me it was the day before yesterday. It’s a pretty small chance they’ll ask for me today. Plus I want to go outside.”

“Fair ‘nuff.” James said. “Well, I’m going to try to grab him. If he has some sort of communication device, he won't be able to use it when Trotsky first scoops him up. Then we can quickly put him down on another peak and Nadia can, uh, make sure he doesn’t alert his buddies.”

Nadia reached into her jacket and took out the gun she had been instructed to keep hidden.

James nodded at it. “Once that's done we can take him to a peak farther away to ask about the guns and stuff.”

“Sounds good.” Brenley said. “Then we just, kill him?”

Nadia gave a helpless shrug. “We don’t have much choice. We can’t let him go back, and just abandoning him on a peak could work or he could get back to the others somehow and we’d be royally fucked. I have seen _enough_ movies where they don’t check the guy is actually dead and it comes back to haunt them.”

“You’re basing this off movies??”

“We’re trapped on a damn alien planet by nazis. Why not apply movie logic.”

“Eh. True.” Brenley said. “Anyways, should we go?”

“Yeah, let’s.”

They started walking towards the opening, all of them dragging the heavy saddle required for riding harpies and banshees. Nadia’s heart was going a million miles a second, but somehow in a good way. She liked feeling the rush of adrenaline, making every nerve stand on end. She struggled to keep her hands still and felt the gun in her jacket pocket, checking to make sure it was still there even though she knew it was.

When they finally crawled out of the tunnel, Krupin stood up and took in a deep breath. “Fuck I haven’t been outside in ages.”

“We should probably go one at a time.” Brenley said, “Four of these guys would _not_ fit on this place.”

“Well I haven’t seen my boy in ages so I’m going first.” Krupin said as he pressed the button on his wrist band.

“Oh yeah, I haven’t even met him yet.”

A minute or so later a graceful cream colored harpy landed on the cliff and rushed over to Krupin, running into him so hard that he fell back into the snow. They didn't wag their tails like dogs did but to show happiness, they wiggled their bodies in an S formation. This guy was doing that to a crazy extent, practically standing on Krupin who was laughing at getting knocked over.

“Heph! Oh I missed you too buddy!”

There were a few long seconds where he just wiggled in happiness and licked Krupin’s face before he was able to struggle to his feet. The harpy pressed it’s head into Krupin’s chest, his eyes closed. He made a soft kind of purr as he scratched it’s neck. Krupin rubbing his hand up and down it’s nose, laughing as it nudged him.

Nadia smiled.  “What does Heph stand for again?”

“Hephaestion.” He leaned over slightly and raised his voice an octave, “Right buddy?”

“And who is that? I’ve heard the name before but I forget who it is.”

Brenley chuckled and walked up to Heph, holding his hands out so the harpy could sniff him and get used to his smell. “Hephaestion was basically Alexander the Great’s boyfriend.”

Nadia grinned at Krupin. “Wow. Subtle.”

“What? A lot of people say they were ‘just friends’. Like with every damn historical gay couple.” Krupin shrugged, smiling, “Anyways, it’s more subtle than naming him ‘Oscar Wilde’ or something.” He attempted to swing the saddle up onto Hephaestion and failed, given the massive animal was still wiggling in happiness.

Krupin smiled. “Fucking hell buddy, calm down.”

“Is he always like this??”

“Yeah, pretty much. He looks all graceful and cool but he’s really a massive idiot who gets excited at everything. That or he gets scared at them.” After a minute or so of struggling he got the saddle on and buckled properly. He clambered up onto him and gave him a final neck scratch before launching into the air.

Brenley left next, after a good bit of coaxing to get Ceylon to not shake the saddle off. This left Nadia and James awkwardly not wanting to acknowledge what they had said before. Nadia shifted, glancing away. “Hey, be careful.”

“Yeah. I will.” As Trotsky landed, James grinned and stroked his nose. “I will hyave no problehm grabbing nyazi.”

Nadia grinned at the shitty accent. “You better not Trotsky.”

That broke the awkwardness a bit and they talked idly as he got the saddle on.

Eventually, they were all up in the air, circling around the peak. They stayed high up enough that the clouds would mask them. Nadia peered down over Sputnik’s shoulder as it bulged and shifted. She couldn't really see anything other than rocks and snow and fog. Krupin’s voice crackled in over the comms. “Found a guy. I think he’s eating. I can't tell but I’m fairly sure he put his gun down. Harpies don't hover so it's hard.”

“Really? Where?”

“East side of the mountain.”

Brenley’s voice spoke in. “Bitch this planet don’t got poles.” The poles on earth were based on the liquid outer core moving, creating an electric current that in turn created magnetic poles. Nephelai had a similar kind of liquid mantle, as in it was liquid in a geological term, but it didn't have any actual liquid layers. So it had plate tectonics involving hot briney seas that produced the towering mountains but no poles.

“Look at the sun dumbass. That’s where the directions are based off here.”

“It’s noon!”

“The side without the crazy cliffs. Good lord. Also it's a little past noon, the sun is slightly to the west.”

Nadia made her way to the side he was talking about and slowed Sputnik to a hover, using her zoom function on the goggles to see that Krupin was right, there was a GIRA member sitting by himself, staring into the distance and eating a sandwich. His gun was propped up against a rock a bit away.

It took a bit for them to get in position with James and Trotsky on the peak, a ways behind the man. Nadia had to admit that James was right about Trotsky being better due to his coloring. Even with SWIR she could barely see the white banshee among the snowdrifts.

James whispered into the mic. “ _Okay… I see him. He’s just sitting there.”_

“ _Yeah._ ” Nadia whispered back. “ _His gun is about 2 feet to the right of him, leaning on a rock._ ”

“ _Shouldn't have put your gun down buddy.”_

She could just about see Trotsky’s massive shape crawl along over the rocks, his head snaking forward. Luckily the wind was fairly strong so any noise he made was probably masked by it. When they were about 20 feet away, they stopped. James whispered again. “ _Okay, I don't want to get too much closer. I think I should just take off from here and… scoop him up.”_

_“Probably a good idea."_ Brenley said.

Nadia’s stomach was in her throat. “ _Be careful.”_

“ _Snowball’s got this._ ”

Nadia circled around again, watching it play out. Trotsky suddenly leapt into the air, unfurling his wings. The man looked up just as his claws locked around his shoulders and swooped him into the air. He let out a scream and struggled in Trotsky’s grasp. James leaned over and shouted down.

“He’s just going to grab you tighter if you struggle!”

“L-Let me down!”

“Not gonna happen!”

Nadia pointed Sputnik towards where the guy had been sitting and landed, leaping off and grabbing his rifle before checking the safety was on, then swinging it onto her back and getting back on him, leaping into the air and following James. She quickly landed on another peak and got her gun out, pointing it at the man as Trotsky dropped him heavily in the snow beside her. Her heart pounded in her ears as the man stood up. She barely paid attention to the others landing behind her.

“Do you have any communication devices.”

His eyes were wild around the edges under his balaclava. “What’s going on. Who are you??”

“Do you have any communication devices! Not gonna ask again dumbass.”

Brenley stepped forward. “Answer her.”

“I- I have a walkie talkie.”

She gestured to Brenley. “Give it to him. Keep one hand up.”

“Okay okay.” He fished around in his jacket before producing a walkie talkie and handing it to Brenley.

“Do you have anything else.”

“No! No I swear I don’t.”

She nodded at Brenley. “Search him, see if he does.” She turned back to the man. “Both hands stay in the air or I shoot.”

Brenley did his best attempt of frisking him, reaching inside his jacket and feeling the pockets of his pants, keeping his eyes on where the man’s hands were the whole time. After a second, he turned back to Nadia. “Think he’s good.”

“Okay. Let’s uh, let’s go to a different peak then. James?”

“Yeah I’m on it.” He clambered onto Trotsky and took off, circling around once before swooping in. The man shied away.

“Woah woah-!” He didn’t have time to finish what he was saying before Trotsky grabbed him again, rocketing him up into the air. Nadia let out a long breath, leaning over and resting her hands on her knees.

“Hooph. Haven’t done that shit before.”

“You good?” Krupin asked.

“Yeah.” She made sure the safety was on the pistol and tucked it back in her jacket. Brenley glanced at the rifle on her back.

“Maybe, one of us should take one of the guns…”

“Do you even know how to use either of them.”

“Well-”

“Until I show you how to use them, It’s probably best if I keep them. Not to be mean but it's more likely you’d shoot yourself in the foot than anything.”

“Little mean but, that’s fair.”

“Exactly.” She walked over to Sputnik and stepped up onto the saddle.

Once they were far enough away from the base, they all landed on a different peak and the man scrambled to his feet after Trotsky dropped him again.

“Don’t- don’t do that again!”

Nadia tried to steel herself as she brought out the gun and held it in front of her, trying not to show that her hands were shaking a bit. “Kneel. Hands up.”

He did as she said. “What- what do you want.”

“Information. And if you don't provide it you’ll be shot.”

He held his hands up higher. “O-okay! Okay! I’ll tell you anything! Please- please don't shoot me.”

She glanced at Brenley, who nodded slightly, then looked back to the man. “Your guns. Where do you keep them.”

“Our guns?”

“Yes, fucker. Where do you keep the guns.” She gestured slightly with the gun, causing him to raise his hands further.

“The- the peak that controls the shield!”

“The shield? Oh do you mean the beyersdorf?”

“If that's what the thing around the solar system is called.”

“Where on the peak.”

“In a room. It has a combination lock and it's changed every day. Only certain guys know it. Not me.”

She pressed the barrel into his head. “You’re lying. You do know.”

“No! No I swear I don’t! They have patrols and stuff! It would be impossible for me or, or anyone else to get a gun without having one of the men who knows the code to get it for me.”

Nadia took a deep breath, glancing back at the others. He seemed to be telling the truth. In that case, they were kind of fucked. They only had two guns to GIRA’s multitude. She sighed. “Well, we don’t really need you anymore then.”

“No no please! Don’t kill me!”

Nadia raised her gun towards him, and faltered. She was going to be _killing_ someone. That went against everything she believed in. She had always been against the death sentence, even for the worst of criminals. She clenched her jaw, lowering the gun slightly. “I- I can’t do it.”

Krupin glanced at her. “You’re the one who said we should kill him.”

“I know! And it’s- it’s the only thing we can do. Anything else is risky. But, now that I have to actually do it…”

Krupin raised his hands. “I’m not doing it.”

“You don’t have to!” The man pleaded. “I won't say anything! Please!”

“Shut the fuck up.” Nadia said. She took a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves. She raised the gun back to its original position. Her finger actually moved slightly on the trigger. Then, she let out a breath and shook her head. “Shit. I can’t. I know he’s shitty but… I can’t”

“Oh fucking hell.” Brenley said. He walked over and held his hand out to her. She stared for a second before handing the gun to him.

“Use two hands. Safety’s off.”

“Right.” He adjusted his grip then in a quick movement, raised it to the mans head and shot, leaning back slightly as to not get blood on him. The man’s head practically exploded as he collapsed into the snow. Brenley flicked the safety on and handed it back to Nadia.

The other three stared at him, incredulous. He glanced between them and shrugged. “He’s a nazi.” Nadia had no idea he had that in him. He stared at the body. “Well, what do we do with him now.”

Nobody said anything, they were still shocked. Krupin for some reason didn't seem as shocked as the others, but there some some sort of emotion on his face, almost like worry. Brenley saw their faces and swallowed, looking away. “Well? What do we do?”

James glanced around. “Anyone have some sort of cloth or something?”

“I don’t think so…” Nadia said.

“Have to do this another way then I guess.” He grabbed the man’s feet and tugged, dragging his body towards the cliff. As he got near the edge he positioned it sideways then shoved, rolling him off the cliff. There was a few long seconds of silence, followed by an extremely distant and muted thump. They all grimaced slightly. Luckily though, it was quiet so it must have fallen far enough that the GIRA members would never find it. As they were getting ready to leave, Krupin pulled Brenley aside.

“Hey, hey you okay? I mean, you did just kill someone.”

“Yeah, I'm fine.” He smiled slightly. “Remember? I’m a computer.”

“C’mon… you know I didn't mean that. I was still pretty torn up over Teresa when I said that.”

“Yeah. But seriously, I'm fine.”

“Sure?”

“Yes. Sometimes having a fucked up brain works in my favor.”

“Your brain isn't fucked up…”

“It is a bit.”

The flight back was basically silent. They had tried to clean up the evidence before they left in case GIRA happened to land on that peak. Nadia glanced at Ceylon up ahead of her, watching her wings beat. How had Brenley done that? He was probably one of the nicest guys she knew and he had just shot a guy without hesitation. He didn't even seem at all torn up about it.

Not to mention what James had said earlier. That was going to have to be addressed at some point. Now that she knew she had an actual chance with him, she was kind of nervous. It was the first time she actually felt like this about someone who liked her back. She wasn't sure why she was nervous but she was fairly sure it was because she was worried she’d somehow fuck it up. She just had a lot on her mind really. Including the fact that there was now virtually no way for them to get guns other than the two she had on her, and she only had two boxes of shells for the hand gun and just the clip and a few more scavenged off the man's body for the rifle.

Heidi was not super pleased with the results, though she didn't direct it at them. They were just the messengers really. She then thought about it for a second before asking if Brenley, who she was well aware had an affinity for destruction, could make any sort of makeshift weapons to fuck up GIRA members. Brenley responded with a wicked grin, saying that he could absolutely do that. So for a bit they split into two groups. Krupin and Saoirse worked on the synthesizers while Brenley started designing weapons. And after she stored both guns under the boards of her bed where they were relatively well hidden, Nadia switched between the two projects, depending on who needed help.

That's how she ended up finding Brenley on the couch wearing a pair of forges. They were a kind of virtual reality glasses that had gotten popular in the last ten years or so. They were extremely compact and got the nickname ‘forges’ because they looked remarkably like Geordi La Forge’s visor in next generation. They involved the visor and a pair of gloves. Nadia hadn’t used one before but she knew that they had cameras and used your surroundings so it looked like there were things were in your environment that weren’t. There were quite a few games that could be played with them. It didn't look like he was playing a game though. Nadia walked over to him.

“I didn't know we had a pair of those.”

“We have a few pairs.”

“What are you doing with them?”

“Autocad.” He reached over and opened a bag next to him on the couch, taking out another pair. “Here. Put these on.”

He showed her the basics of autocad in them then they decided to work on their ideas separately and show each other at the end.

After a good hour or so, Brenley stood up, rolling his shoulders in a massive stretch. “Ooooookay. I’ll be right back. Just wanna go ask Tavis something.”

“Aright.”

As he started walking towards the rooms where Tavis was staying, he turned his idea over in his brain. If that thing worked on star wars why shouldn't it work in reality? He chuckled slightly to himself at the absurdity of that logic. It was however, something the military used. That was better logic. As he reached the rooms, he grabbed the doorframe and spun into Tavis’ living room. “Hey man!”

Tavis stared at him from where he sat in his wheelchair by the table, surprised at his enthusiasm. “Hey…?” He had upgraded from being stuck in bed to being in a wheelchair. It didn't take him long to get used to it though and other than some tricky bits in the building that weren’t designed for wheelchairs, he was getting around fine.

“You're a ship engineer right? You know all about EM drives and stuff?”

“Uh, yeah?”

He walked over to the chair next to the bed and sat down with a wicked grin on his face. “Listen. When we make a break for it, they have ships right? Not just landers?”

“Probably. I mean, they probably have at least one big enough to have lander docks.”

“And they might have weapons on these ships?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, well, I was watching Star Wars the other day and had an idea.” He passed him a tablet with an autocad drawing on it. “Here. If you can somehow build a mini EM drive, would this work?”

Tavis frowned at the drawing, then he laughed. “Man you are crazy.”

“Would it work?”

“I mean, maybe. The ring would have to be built out of damn tough material. And I think the best way to keep it in a circle would be to have two EM drives, one pointing in so that it spins, given that using magnets it would have to be an _incredibly_ strong magnet. Also it might screw up the EM waves. Then you could just, rotate the other drive so they're both pointing straight to fling it.”

“Right…”

“It's not super uh, economical? I guess? But in theory it would work.”

“Yeah but just in case, I mean we might need some sort of space weapon.”

“True.”

“If I get you a table and some tools, do you think you could make this?”

“Maybe? I can certainly try at least. Gives me something to do.”

“Hah! Great.” He slapped his palm and stood up, heading for the door.

Tavis called after him. “You do know you’re actually crazy right?”

“I’m perfectly aware.” He grinned. “There’s a reason my students call me Batshit.” He closed the door behind him and made his way back to the rooms, a stupid smile on his face that showed up whenever one of his completely bizarre ideas worked.

It wasn't long after he got back that James showed up and he and Nadia started a bizarrely tense conversation, considering they were just talking about how bad they both were with talking to kids. It had sprung from James mentioning his sister who was quite a bit younger than him. Brenley stared at them as they went through the awkward dance of not wanting to acknowledge what they had said to each other earlier.

He let out an exasperated sigh. “Oh for fucks sake. This is actually agonizing.” He stood up, placing his hands on the table. “You both like each other. Talk.” With that, he left the room. Nadia and James stared at each other, a tense silence hung in the air as neither of them knew what to say. All of the sudden they both spoke at once.

“Nadia-”

“About-”

They stuttered to a stop and James glanced to the side. “Um. I- I’ll just say what I was thinking. That okay? Or do you wanna-”

She glanced down. “He’s right.”

His face lit up slightly. “Really?”

“Well, yeah.”

“Normally I’d do this over text because I’m an awkward mess but-”

“No yeah same.”

He smiled slightly. “Okay good. But, Nadia I- I really like you. I think you're awesome, and funny, and overall amazing. And… I kinda want to be, more than friends.”

“But, we’re in a fucking _hostage situation_. I don’t wanna… I mean it sounds morbid but if we start, seeing each other or whatever, and then something happens? It’s gonna be really shitty. I mean if something happened anyways it’d be bad but, if feel like it would be worse if we were, together. I do, really like you. So don’t think it’s because I don't. I’m just hesitant about this situation I guess.” She let out a long breath. “Ask me again on a ship headed home. I’ll uh, I’ll have a different answer then.”

He stared for a second before breaking into a smile. “That works for me!”

“Really? I thought you’d be… mad or something.”

“Mad are you kidding? This is like, the second best outcome!”

She chuckled, shaking her head slightly at the goofy response.

“How about this.” James said, “When we get back we go to a marvel movie. They come out like, every fuckin week, there’s bound to be one in theaters.”

“Okay, yeah sure.”

“Awesome. I’m gonna hold you to that.” He glanced to the side. “Although of course if you do change your mind, don't feel bad about it. I’m not a massive asshole, and, you're an awesome friend so… staying friends would be, almost as good. Not _as_ good but still pretty great.”

That made her smile. “You’re an awesome friend too.”

There was a short second where they didn't know what to say. Finally, Nadia broke the silence. “Well fuck now that _that’s_ over with… I can’t even tell how old kids are. From four to ten they're just kids and then from eleven to sixteen they're just all twelve.”

He laughed at the sudden switch back to the old subject. “Okay yeah, I get that. I don't get baby stages at all. Like, eighteen months? What does that mean? Can they walk then? I have no frame of reference.”

“Yeah but you have a little sister! I’m an only child. Don't you remember?”

“Not really. I mean when she was that old I was only like, seven. Don't remember much from when I was seven anyways.”

“Hm.”

“Oh by the way, I completely forgot earlier, happy birthday!”

She smiled. “Thanks. One year closer to death.”

“Ideal. Normally I’d get you a birthday present or something but… I mean I guess I could try to find a cool rock or something.”

Nadia laughed, shaking her head. “Yeah, why didn’t you find me a cool rock!”

“Okay! I’ll find one tomorrow then!”

“You’re on thin ice.”

That night they hung out for a good bit. Somehow, admitting they both had feelings for each other made it better, less awkward. Nadia thought it would be the other way around but James seemed to be taking it fine so she just followed along. When she got back to the rooms, fairly late at night, her nose was hit by the smell of baking cake. Brenley looked up from where he sat at the table.

She glanced to the side. “Are you… making cake?”

“Well, yeah. It’s Feliks’ birthday tomorrow.”

“Wait really??”

“Yeah. He’s the sixth. He doesn’t really make a big deal out of it but he kinda secretly likes birthday stuff quite a bit so, I’m making him cake. I guess it’ll kinda be for both of you because there's not much point making two so close to each other.”

“Where is he?”

“Bed. He went to bed early, didn’t know I was going to be making this.”

“Aw that’s cute.”

“So… what’d you and James talk about…?”

She rolled her eyes. “Really?”

“I’m curious! Also both of you keeping asking me, a socially inept gay man, for advice and at this point I kinda deserve to know.”

“He’s been asking you stuff?”

“Yes! Yes and I am the last person either of you should be asking! I’m an Idiot! I waited for five years before I told Feliks, why would I be the expert?”

“I dunno who else to ask! Also, we talked a bit and just decided to wait to get back to do anything, y’know, hostage situation and all. Doesn't seem like the best environment to start anything.”

“Solid decision. Well, congratulations I guess.”

“Thanks. I guess.” She smirked slightly as she echoed his words.

When the cake finished cooking she helped Brenley ice and prepare it. He ended up cutting a hole in a plastic bag and piping out in blue icing “Happy birthday, world’s #1 shithead”. When Nadia pointed out that Krupin didn’t even live on earth, Brenley stared at her, realizing he probably should have written ‘galaxy’s’ but at the same time not wanting to back down. “It’s a damn saying you dumbass.”

Nadia laughed. “You just realized you fucked up right?”

“...No! And I don’t need your criticism!”

Once they were done, they covered the cake and put it in the fridge before going to bed. The next day, James made good on his promise and found Nadia a cool rock from the mountain. It was dark with little flecks of something shiny and she weirdly loved it. It was less about the actual rock itself, though it did look cool, but more about how he actually went out of his way to search around in the snow for a cool rock for her birthday. Brenley suggested the name Snür for the rock which she gave him a confused look for but decided to screw it and named the rock Snür then placed it on her windowsill. Brenley turned out to be right about Krupin being quiet about his birthday but actually liking celebrating it and his face lit up when he came back to the rooms and saw the cake and the attempt at decorations Brenley had made. It seemed like the first time he had been genuinely happy since GIRA started interrogating him. It was just a kind of small party Brenley had thrown together with just a few people but Krupin was pretty damn happy with it and he gave Brenley a massive kiss on the cheek, smiling like an idiot. It went by too fast and the one good night they’d had in awhile was over before it started. Af everyone left, Nadia went with James to watch a ghibli movie, because from the looks Krupin was giving Brenley, it was probably better for all three of them if she was not in the general area for a while. She had basically forgotten about the dead GIRA member and the fact that they would have to _make_ weapons to combat an essential army of men with guns. But at least they had some form of a plan. Even if it was a vaguely shitty one.


	12. Chapter 12

**Early March**

 

The makeshift phone was a bit of a clunker. It looked like a massive nokia made by someone with just scraps of metal. But, apparently it worked. A shitty cell tower was set up on a different peak which connected to the satellites which luckily, had not been destroyed. GIRA had just turned off the few cell towers the planet had and guarded them so they couldn't be turned back on again. But, they forgot that there were a good few electrical engineers who could, with a little difficulty, rig up a rudimentary cell tower. Normal phones couldn't connect to it but a makeshift phone designed for it could. They had figured out from crowdsourcing some information, that they could probably take down the wormhole, but GIRA was there, so holding it open would be a problem. They needed to make sure military ships were there when they opened it so they could slip in before GIRA inevitably closed it again. But they couldn't just call the government, if GIRA intercepted the signals it could be very bad.

Krupin put his palms flat on the table, staring at the phone. “We can call Kris- Kristina Mohren. She's sharp, she’ll figure it out. But we can't have them intercept the call. What if I called her just saying I’m okay and stuff, but we played some sort of morse in the background or something.”

Heidi nodded. “Okay, but I feel that if we just do it in Morse code then GIRA will figure it out if they intercept it.”

“Yeah. And if they know we got a message out they will be for one thing, pissed, and guess who they'd take it out on. Also there's a good chance they'd up the security.” There was a silence as they all turned it over in their minds. Suddenly, Krupin sat up. “Wait. My google drive. I- I was bored one day. I decided to see if I could make an unbreakable code. No idea why, I was just thinking of how to do it on a long car ride so I wrote it down.”

“First of all,” Brenley said. “The fact that you aren’t a basement dweller is astounding. Second of all, do you still remember it?”

“Yeah! To the remembering thing. The basement dweller thing was just rude.”

“But accurate.”

“Sure. Anyways, I trust Kris enough that she knows my email password. If we encode the message into my code, then put it into morse, then play it in the background she should be able to figure it out! So long as I give her some hints and stuff.”

“We should speed it up though,” Nadia said. “That way it's not immediately noticeable that it's morse. If they figure out it is a message, even if they can't decode it, they’ll still get mad.”

“True,” Brenley said, pointing at her. “But if you tell her to press four first, the call should record. Most phones have that function. Then she can slow it down or something.”

Krupin nodded slowly. “Okay. Okay I’ll start translating a message, Ellie see if you can get something going that will play morse code. You still know it right? We don't have wifi.”

“Yeah I still know it. My brain can’t hold useful information but it can hold fucking morse code because it's shit.”

“Not shit right now.”

* * *

Kristina sat on a park bench, relaxing and watching some ducks lazily motor around a pond as she enjoyed a burrito from a food cart around the corner. It was the weekend which meant she actually had a break from the massive amount of work she normally had. And she was in Beauvoir, which honestly looked quite similar to Lincoln, but the French were quite different in their approach to maintaining the terraforming than Americans and actually seemed to care about the nature so the parks were much better. She was going to be meeting Braiden later on in the day but came early to have some time walking around and enjoying the colony a bit. Her phone buzzed and she fished it out of her pocket, staring at it as she chewed her burrito. It had an unknown number with a + in front, an international number. Probably a telemarketer of some sort. She pressed the red phone button and it stopped buzzing.

The rings petered out and Heidi sighed. “She didn't pick up did she.”

Krupin shook his head. “It's an unknown number though. She never answers those. If she has her phone on her, which she probably does, it'll take a few more calls.” He typed the number in again and waited while it rang.

Kristina’s phone buzzed again and she annoyedly fished it out of her pocket again. It was the same unknown number. She squinted at it. If it was a telemarketer or some other useless bullshit at least they'd stop if she answered. She pressed the green phone button this time and held it to her ear. “Hello?”

“Kris?! It's me!”

“Feliks??” His voice was garbled slightly from the connection but no one else would say that.

“Yeah!” Krupin grinned at everyone and they returned excited smiles and a few whispered happy exclamations.

Kristina clutched the phone tight to her ear. “Oh my god, Fix are you alright?? How are you calling me? Wait, how do I know it's you.”

“Stockholm’s the new Italy.”

She almost cried in relief. “Oh God, Fix! How _are_ you calling me??”

“I shouldn't tell you, just in case.”

“Oh, yeah of course. Are you alright?”

“Yeah. Here, take your phone and press four.”

“What? Why?”

“Just do it.”

Kris took the phone away from her ear and pressed four. As she put it back she could hear a robotic voice. “ _This call is now recording. When you are done, press four to stop or hang up._ ” Krupin heard the voice as well. As soon as it was done speaking he waved his hand at Brenley who pressed play on the mp3 he had whipped up on his computer. The loud beat filled the air and Kristina leaned forward into the phone, trying to hear. “Fix?”

“Sorry about that, some machinery going on in the background. Listen, I called to say that, I'm okay. If they've released any of the videos… just- I’m okay.”

“Oh my god I’ve been so worried about you.”

“It’s okay Kris. They're not gonna kill me. They need me. Listen, how has the company been going? You still have access to my google drive right?”

“Yeah- why are you asking about the company??”

“Just making sure that it's alright. If you need anything, all my files are in the drive.”

“Yeah yeah I know.”

“Okay. Just, y’know, check just in case there's something you forgot.”

“Okay?” There was a short pause and Kristina sighed. “Y’know, corporate meetings are pretty boring without you. All these smart people you hired are real dull.”

He chuckled. “Sorry.” There was another pause. She had never experienced a situation where she didn't know what to say with him. They were always able to talk about something, that’s why they were such good friends. But now… now she couldn't think of a thing to say. There was just _so much_ to say. She didn’t know where to start.

“You know what I sometimes miss?” He said.

“What?”

“Before all this. When we were just getting everything figured out. When people didn't recognize me on the street.”

She smiled slightly. “Yeah. When we were begging for investors.”

“Do you remember the first nice suit I got? What was it I spilled on it again?”

Kristina frowned. How could he forget what he spilled on it? He berated himself for _months_ for that. There's no way he just forgot. “Paint wasn’t it? You bumped into that paint cart at the hotel we were staying at.”

“Oh yeah paint.”

She barely noticed the weird repetitive noise had stopped.

“Paint… that was a good suit too.”

“Yeah.”

There was another pause. “Kris, I gotta go. I’ll call you back. We should keep this short, in case they catch on.

“O-okay. But- don’t go! Please. I haven’t spoken to you in _months_. I miss you. I’m worried about you.”

He sighed, glancing at the people around him. The call was on speaker so Brenley, Nadia, Heidi, and some of the people who made the phone could hear what they said to each other. “I’ll call you back. I gotta go. I know you will uh, figure it out.” There was a click as he hung up and the robotic woman’s voice told her where to access the recording. She stared into the distance, too shocked to register what had just happened. Why was he acting so weird? And why had he had her record the call? Figure it out? Figure what out? She quickly bundled the burrito wrapper into the trash and hurried to the car. There, she opened her laptop and logged into his google drive. There wasn’t anything there that hadn’t been before. She frowned, biting the inside of her cheek, then forced herself to stop, it was a bad habit of hers. Her thoughts ran through her head at a million miles a second before she decided to listen to the call again.

As she listened to the recording, a thought hit her. That weird noise. It had only started _after_ he asked her to record the call. She concentrated on it. It was fast, but she could still make out slight pauses. With her heart speeding up, she exported the recording into an audio editing app and slowed it down to an eighth the speed. At that pace, the noise was clear morse code.

She grinned and whispered to herself, “ _You fuckin genius Fix_.”

It took her a few minutes to write down the whole thing then she searched up a morse code translator and plugged it in. Her heart rose as it loaded for a second then sank as it was translated into what looked like a keyboard smash.

_ttkptzqnuvenzjxdecwgpunnxfwequngudpjwszssnoyrnkiukldevvikkhkcscyffkccovrrntxhnmxqfdnlzqoulrnwjgunqlfxllrtfobypvprmfrqozqnhqppeludveolpxiddgyogrgtcwqknfrzsryfxalskjwjaksewsrmnrnexdmfecfpzqrwurudsznmwkkjxjckxzkvvomejccviehlmoqrrordqruowhllfmqedfmmvjsmalsdwnmdvjvmmrswhsqqfmrviwlonqrjcanwxlgtlgeuvnesdwjtfjqfqlnmqxqjrjxwxilmkktkalfvkonkxdqzufzjkqvczrfdrcuyrglygulzsvjfloescbcfcld_

She checked it on another site and ended up with the same thing.

_Figure it out._

Something _told_ her it was a code. In case those GIRA guys were listening in and figured out the morse. It was something only she could be able to solve.

Kristina opened his google drive again, searching through the folders. Most of it was stuff for work. She opened a folder labeled ‘because this bitch is bored’ which was chock full of documents with half completed ideas. They were scattered and random. She knew it was because thoughts would hit him in the middle of the day, sometimes not to do with work, but he wanted to make sure he didn't forget so he would add it to to this folder. One of them was labeled ‘possibly unbreakable code? But i’m not a code breaker so who the FUCK knows.’

That had to be it. She opened it and read the contents. There was an entire alphabet written out, with the letters A, C, and T bolded. They had numbers under them 2, 1, 3. A paragraph was written under it. ‘ _Use key word like ‘CAT’. The length of first word will be based off the first letter in the key word, in this case C. Whatever the first letter of the_ **_code_ ** _is, count backwards to C. So if the first letter is F then counting backwards, starting at E and ending at C you will get 3. This denotes the length of the first word in the message, ie 3 letters long. Now look at the second letter in the_ **_code_ ** _, let’s say it’s U. Count backwards from U 3 spaces, you will end up with R. that is the first letter in the decoded message. Imagine the next letter in the code is W. now count backwards from W, this time only count back two spaces. Ending at U. so far the message is RU. then if the next letter is O, count back only one space. Arriving at N. So the first word in the message is RUN. To find the length of the next word, count_ **_forwards_ ** _from the next letter to A as it is the next letter in CAT. With each letter in CAT, switch off counting forwards and backwards. As you decode each word, count in a descending order, as with the word RUN. 3, 2, 1. If the word is 5 letters long you will count 5,4,3,2,1.’_

What a fucking convoluted code. It showed just what kind of things came to him during the middle of the day when his busy brain wasn’t working on anything. But what was the key word? He had used cat in the example but it might not be that.

_Paint._

He had talked about when he spilled paint on his suit. He definitely would have remembered that, given he bumped into a paint cart it's impossible he thought it was something else or forgot. She quickly typed out the entire alphabet and looked at the first letter of the code. T. Counting backwards from that to P, she ended up with four. So the first word was four letters long. After a second of counting letters, she ended up with the word _‘phns’._ Either she was on the completely wrong track or that was an abbreviation for ‘phones’. She continued, growing more and more excited as it was quickly revealed to be an actual message. All of the words were shortened and most of the vowels were taken out but it was still readable. It took her a good hour to translate the entire thing. It was hard to keep track how much to count and which letter she was on. Eventually, she had it fully typed out and she stared at the message.

_phns r prbly bggd dnt py ransm we hv a pln to gt off th plnet we ned u to tell the gvnmt to get sm ships rdy to go on r cmmnd we cn take dwn th wrmhle bt we dnt hv enuf ppl to take gira out we wll only b abl to hld th loop opn fr so long mbbe n hr dnt tll anyon othr thn th prpr authrties if u gt ths msg i'll ask hw blnn is dng in my nxt cll say hes at th vet bt he shud b fne._

Kristina grinned at the message, then picked up her phone and called the number back. A man’s voice she didn't recognize responded. “Hello…?”

“Hi… who is this?”

“Who is this??”

“Kristina.” Probably best not to say her last name.

“Oh! Oh one second.” There was a shuffling noise before she heard Krupin’s voice.

“Kris?”

“Fix! I uh- I forgot to say in the last call, Blainn, he got a bit sick so I took him to the vet but he should be fine.”

There was a grin in his voice. “Holy shit. Nice job. For- for… bringing him to the vet.”

She laughed slightly at his stuttered attempt to not give away what was going on. “Yeah. I’ll uh, I’ll tell the vet what you said, that one time.”

“Perfect, thank you so much. You just saved, his, life. Listen um, I’d love to talk but, but I don’t know how much we should use this. The more it's used…”

“Yeah, yeah I got you.”

“I miss you.”

“I miss you too. Stay strong. I’m sorry what they're doing to you and I wish I could help.”

“It’s okay. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Okay. Bye.”

“Bye.”

She hung up, then called Jan Pearson at the CIA.

Krupin grinned at the others, lowering the phone. “She’s going to inform the government.”

Relieved sighs swept through the small audience and Heidi smilled, patting his shoulder. “Good job.”

“Good job to those who built this thing.”

“Yes. Thank you all. You may have saved us.”

As the commotion died down a bit, and people started going their separate ways, Brenley glanced at Krupin.

“Where did ‘Fix’ come from?”

He chuckled. “Fix It Felix.”

“The dude from Wreck It Ralph.”

“Yup. For a while I lived with Kris and another girl named Candice. I couldn’t pay for my share of the rent because I was broke so I just slept on a fold out couch and fixed appliances and computers and stuff when they broke. Candice wasn’t a huge fan of me so she started sarcastically calling me Fix It Felix. Then Kris picked it up, first as a joke. Then it turned into Fix It, then just… Fix. Now she calls me that pretty much exclusively. Some employees actually got me a gold hammer. It was just spray painted though.”

As they day went on, Krupin seemed to lose his excitement and became more withdrawn as time passed. Nadia guessed that talking to Kristina had put everything into focus for him. She felt bad for him, especially since Brenley didn’t seem to notice his change in mood. He sometimes just missed stuff like that, then was surprised when people got mad at him for just acting like nothing was wrong. Nadia left to go to her room, deciding that she probably couldn't help. She read a bit of the book Brenley had let her borrow, The Road, before her eyes started to droop and she fell asleep.

She woke up from her nap to hear raised voices from the kitchen.

“Are you jealous of my relationship, with a woman? Seriously Elias?!”

She frowned and stood up, walking to the door so she could hear better. Brenley’s voice responded, from the tone she could just tell he was rolling his eyes.

“Of course I'm not jealous.”

“Really? Because it definitely seems like you are.”

In the kitchen, Brenley let out a sigh, placing his hands on the back of one of the chairs. “You've known each other for the nine years that I wasn't there. She knows you better than I do!”

“You left! What was I supposed to do? Make zero friends?”

“I left for our sakes! In the plural! For the sake of everyone who needed those cells!”

Krupin glowered at him. “You know, if both of us had been arrested, the cells would have still made it to production. Don't pretend you did humanity a favor when you were just a spineless fucking _coward_.”

In her room, Nadia grimaced.

Krupin continued, “I did all the work! I made a damn company from scratch! While living out of my car! With _no_ fucking help from you!”

“The whole thing wouldn't even be a thought in your mind without me! Or did you forget that I only decided to include you since I needed help programming?? I could have just as easily gotten someone else!”

“If they were your idea then why the fuck did you leave!! Why did you never tell me!”

“Really?!” Brenley quickly retorted. “I fucking _told_ you why I left! I told you I have trouble with- with stuff like that!”

“Oh right. Because of your autism. You know, I don’t even know if I should believe you about that. It seems to me like you just can't face your fucking problems!”

“I know I can’t deal with my problems! That’s the whole point! And what so- so I’ve been faking the disease I was diagnosed with before I was _even born_ this whole time??”

“I’m not saying you’re faking it! I’m saying, when was the last time you talked to a psychologist.”

Brenley was silent.

“It's been ages right? Just because you have it doesn't mean your an expert! You blame every problem in your life on it and I honestly think you're just using it as a scapegoat half the time!”

“I can’t schedule a damn therapy appointment if I can't make phone calls!”

“Your brother’s a doctor! Ask him!”

“I can’t!!”  
“So what I’m hearing is you can’t perform _basic_ tasks every adult does.”

“Yes goddamnit! And I hate it! And I thought I had your support but apparently not! Apparently you just think I’m a fucking whiny child who wants everything done for him like everyone else I’ve ever met thinks! So thanks a fucking lot for that!” There was a tense pause before Brenley shook his head. “Man fuck this.” He turned on his heel and stormed off towards the bedroom. Nadia hear him coming and cracked her door open.

“You oka-”

Before she had time to finish he turned to her with daggers in his glare. “Jesus _christ_ do you listen to every fucking personal conversation we have??”

She frowned, not expecting the backlash. “I was here before you guys…”

“Then when you hear something, take the hint and fucking leave! Or- or I dunno, listen to music! My relationship is not something for you to dissect and examine like a damn specimen. Stay the _fuck_ out of it.” He turned and went into the room, slamming the door behind him. Nadia flinched slightly and went back to her bed, sitting down on it and staring into the distance.

She had _never_ seen him like that. Actually, she had seen him yell and curse people out before but it was always a situation where she and most of the other students were silently cheering him on, after someone made a bigoted comment or something along those lines. But to lash out like that at her? For just asking if he was okay? She didn't even know what to think of that. It certainly wasn’t the upbeat nerd she had gotten used to. For a long time she just sat in shock, then picked up the book again and tried to read but couldn't concentrate.

Krupin meanwhile sat in the kitchen with a thousand mile stare, berating himself in his head for what he said. He turned and slammed his hand on the counter. “God _damnit_ .” He let out a breath and ran his hand through his hair. “Shit. What’ve I done. _Fuck_. God I’m such an idiot.” It took a good half hour of him berating himself before he got up and made his way over to the bedroom and knocked softly on the door. “Ellie? El… I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that stuff, I don’t know why I did.”

There was silence.

He sighed. “Can I come in? I’m really sorry.”

“Yeah.”

Krupin slowly opened the door to see Brenley sitting on the edge of the bed, staring into the distance. He made his way over and sat down next to him. “I… I feel really shit about what I said. I know there are things you struggle with that others, like me, don't. And not believing you is childish and wrong. It was just something I said out of anger, I do believe you. And if there's any thought in the back of my mind that you're just doing it out of laziness or… wanting attention, I’m gonna work to fuckin torch that thought. Because I know how shitty it is to not be believed. Especially by people you love.”

Brenley looked down at his hands, nervously twirling his ring. “Well first of all, I'm sorry what I said about Kris. And I'm sorry for saying that you, stole my ideas or something. The synthesizers were not mine, they were ours. But, past that, what if you’re right. What if I am using it as a scapegoat. I mean sure, being sensitive to noises and stuff is definitely real, but- but what if I don't want to face my problems so bad I just- blame it on autism.”

“Don't say that.”

“But you were right! I haven't been to a therapist since I was fifteen. Maybe I’m wrong about, everything.”

“Okay listen. This isn't meant as, deprecating, but I've never met anyone more scared to face things like that than, you. I've seen you in person try to muster up the courage to come out to your family and fail. Basically, that- that isn't normal. And if it isn't autism, it's something else. But it sure isn't faked.”

Brenley chuckled. “Hurtful but, reassuring.”

There was a pause before Krupin spoke in a soft voice. “Have you wanted to go to a therapist, in the past twenty years or so.”

He swallowed and bobbed his head slightly. “Yeah. I just- I don't know where to start. I don't know to schedule appointments or find the right person or… anything. I feel like a damn child.”

“See, not going to a therapist is usually because people don't think they need it, not because they want to and just, can't make phone calls.”

Brenley bent his head, running his hands over his hair. “God _why_ am I like this?? I hate it!”

Krupin put his hand on his back, rubbing it slightly. “Hey, it's okay. When we get back I’ll help you find someone. I mean, my therapist is a fucking godsend but he specializes in depression. We’ll find someone El.” He leaned over and kissed his cheek, smiling. “I love you.”

Brenley didn't respond at all.

“Ellie…”

He shook his head, his eyes closed. “I’m sorry Fil. It’s just, I can’t go back to normal after something like that. Not so quickly. We haven’t fought like that in, ages. I don’t know about you but I can’t just go back to normal two minutes of talking after something like that.”

Krupin swallowed. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry too. I just need some time.”

“Okay. I’ll uh, I’ll go back into the kitchen.”

“That’s probably best.”

Krupin stood up quietly and made his way to the door, glanced back, then went into the kitchen. He sat heavily on one of the chairs and let out a sigh, starting to berate himself in his head again. Brenley was also berating himself, but for a different reason. It took him a long time of him telling himself to get up and do something, to apologize. But that would be change. And that was impossible. Eventually he decided on a slightly easier but still hard route. He grabbed a piece of paper and tore it in half then started to write on it, tapping his foot nervously the whole time.

A minute or so later there was a very soft shuffling noise and Nadia looked up to see a slip of paper next to her door, obviously it had just been slid under the crack. She smiled to herself then got to her feet and walked over, picking it up. It was a note written in Brenley’s scrawl.

 _‘sorry for snapping at you waters. heres an apology newt._ ’ underneath he had drawn an adorable little newt. It was a vaguely shitty drawing but it got the feeling across. Underneath the newt was another bit of writing, extremely small this time. ‘ _(her name is eggo)_ ’

She grinned at the paper then went over to the bedside table and grabbing a pair of scissors, cut Eggo out then taped her to the wall above her bed.

* * *

Kristina walked up to the door and pressed the buzzer. There was a shuffling noise and a swear before Braiden opened the door. He ran his hand over his hair.

“Heyy…”  
“Did you forget I was coming?”

“Possibly.” About a third of the times she arranged to meet up with him somewhere, he’d straight up forget about it. He just seemed to be a bit absent minded when it didn't come to surgery. It never affected things that much though, so she didn't really mind.

“Classy. Why are you standing like that?” He had just his head poked out around the door.

“I’m not wearing any pants.”

“Even classier. C’mon, I think we’re past this.” She pushed the door open wider and walked in, seeing that he indeed was not wearing any pants and just had a white t-shirt and a pair of boxers on. She closed the door behind her, smiling.

“I have some, kinda big news.”

“You’re pregnant. And it’s my best friend’s.”

She squinted, looking to the side. “Why would I be smiling about that.”

“I dunno. Maybe you’re evil.”

“I mean, I am, but not in that way.”

“Okay, good. So what’s your news.”

“Feliks called me.”

He stared. “What??”

She grinned, shrugging. “They rigged up some sort of phone thing! And- and he called me today!”

He let out a laugh, grabbing her shoulders. “What?! This is great!! Is- is he okay?”

“Yeah, he said he was. And he uh, told me they have a plan to get out. You can’t tell anyone, we can't risk it getting out, but, they do.”

“Holy shit this is amazing news. Did, did he say anything about Elias?”

“Shit, no. I’m sorry. I should have asked, I was just too surprised.”

“Oh okay. Um, if he calls again could you...?”

“Yeah yeah I’ll ask. Of course I will.”

He grinned and grabbed her shoulders again, kissing her. “Fuck I’m so happy! They might come home!” He wrapped his arms around her, picking her up. She laughed as well and slapped his shoulder.

“Let me down!”

“No.” He kissed her neck. “I’m keeping you like this forever.”

“Enjoy doing surgery like this.”

“Good point.” He let her down. “We gotta celebrate. Do you wanna go out somewhere or stay in? We can could cook something or just, order pizza.”

“Cooking something sounds good.”

“You mean me cooking something.”

“Obviously, french boy.” She walked further past him into the living room, slapping him on the ass as she did. “Go get some pants on.”

He made a bizarre ‘nyeh’ noise in a complain-y tone, then turned and followed her in.

* * *

When Nadia emerged from her room almost an hour later, there was no sign of Brenley or Krupin. She knocked on their bedroom door but there was no response and poking her head in showed they weren’t there either. She assumed they had gone out to the commons or something. She was getting kind of hungry so she made a sandwich and had just finished eating it and was cleaning up the plate when there was a knock on the door.

“Yeah? Come in.”

The door opened and James stuck his head in, grinning. “Hey.”

“Oh, hey!” In the last month or so, she had been regretting telling him to wait. He was probably the nicest guy she had ever met in regards to respecting what she said. Other than maybe sitting a little closer when they were rewatching the same movies over and over again, he hadn’t pushed her at all. He barely even brought it up. But that just made her think she should have just said fuck it and started something with him, and now she was struggling to decide whether or not to tell him. Her initial logic to wait was sound, which just made it harder.

James walked over and joined her by the counter. “There’s some people getting a little celebration together out there. Getting the phone and stuff done, contacting the government.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.” He glanced down at his hands. “Hard to believe we actually have a good chance of getting out of here. There’s so much stuff I can’t wait to do again when we get back.”

“Like what?”

“My parents and I used to go to this tiny kinda shitty beach town, but it had this one place where you could get a seaweed bath. Basically they draw a bath and then dump a load of seaweed they collected from the beach in it. The seaweed secretes this oil and it feels like there's an inch of baby oil on top of the water, I have _never_ felt something so nice. That and burgers.”

Nadia laughed. “That sounds gross! Not the burgers, the seaweed vomit you apparently just sit in.”

“Yeah I thought that as well until I had one.”

“To be honest I’m just looking forwards to wifi. I want to be able to watch netflix for 42 hours straight again.”

“What is wrong with you.”

“A lot.”

He chuckled and they fell silent for a second. Eventually he spoke softly. “I’m looking forward to that marvel movie.” That did it. If they both felt the same way, why wait. Anyways, escape just became a more tangible future.

“So am I,” She said. “Listen, I don’t want to jump the gun on this escape thing but, maybe we don’t have to wait… I mean, I’m fairly sure we will get out of here. And if we don't, then… well we’re gonna be stuck here for a good while. So, why not.”

“Are you serious?”

She stood on her toes and kissed him. At first he was slightly surprised but then he grabbed the back of her neck, leaning into it. They broke for a second and she smiled.

“That serious enough?”

“I- I don’t know what to say.”

“We’re still on for that movie though.”

“Yeah of course.” He wrapped his arms around her, smiling.

She could smell his sweater. It smelled nice, though it was probably just detergent. “You give good hugs.”

“Because I’m big, and soft, like a large marshmallow.”

She chuckled. “Marshmallowyness is a good quality.”

He bent his head and kissed her again. For longer this time. Nadia could feel practically every nerve in her body. Why on _earth_ did she wait this long to do this. The door opened suddenly and they both spun to look, startled. Brenley stood there. He stared at them, frozen.

“Right... Well, someone found some vodka so we’re about to do shots. If you want to join us.”

Nadia glanced at James. “Yeah, we’ll come.”

James frowned. “But what about Feliks? I mean, should he be around alcohol?”

“Yeah I asked him, he said it's fine. Apparently he's been out to bars with friends and stuff, he's used to it.”

“Right, we’ll be right out then.”

He nodded, glancing between them. “Okay. Sorry for barging in by the way. I didn't know you were… anyways. Shots.” He abruptly turned and closed the door behind him.

“Well,” Nadia said. “I guess we’re doing shots.” She knew her face was red, her cheeks felt hot.

James smiled. “You blush easily.”

That just made her blush more. “I know! But like, to be fair, that was pretty embarrassing.”

He shrugged. “I suppose.”

“It was! He’s just your ‘bud’ or whatever, he’s my _professor_.”

“You two certainly don’t act like it. I actually asked him if you were together before I knew he was, y’know, gay.”

“Aw not you too. Everyone assumes that! God why does everyone think me and that dumbass stringbean are together.”

“I dunno! I guess it’s just that… I dunno, women your age aren’t often friends with men a decade older than them. It’s not bad, it’s just uncommon.”

“True. I guess from the outside it is a bit weird.”

“I don’t blame you though. As soon as I met that ‘dumbass stringbean’ I wanted to be friends with him so…” He trailed off and shrugged. “Anyways, should we go do shots then immediately regret it?”

“Sounds great.”

A couple minutes later, Nadia grabbed the shot and slammed it back, grimacing as the strong alcohol burned in her throat. She put it back on the table with a clunk and saw the others do the same. There were a good few people and around four bottles of absolut were on the table. Brenley shook his head. “Blegh. I don't often do straight vodka.”

Nadia nodded, agreeing with him. “Yeah. It’s nasty.” Her throat felt warm and she coughed, tasting what essentially felt like straight up ethanol vapor. Krupin watched them, no one noticing his face was practically blank.

He looked around at the others’ contorted expressions and scoffed, “You all are weak.” He reached forward and grabbed a bottle. Brenley, Nadia, and James started forward.

“Feliks!”

He ignored them and raised it to his lips. His throat moved systematically as the vodka slowly drained away. Nadia didn't know what to do, she watched in shocked horror as he drank away two years of sobriety. Then, almost admiration. While her eyes had even watered slightly at the shot, he was going steady, two thirds of the bottle done. She didn't know if she could drink that much _beer_ in one go. Brenley's face was dismayed and he made a weak attempt to stop him.

“Feliks-” Krupin continued to ignore him. “FELIKS. STOP.” He stepped away slightly as he drank the last few gulps. Then, he took it away from his mouth and slammed it into the floor. The bottle smashed, spraying glass in every direction. Everyone but Nadia James and Brenley cheered. A few stood up and pumped their fists in the air. In the commotion, Krupin stumbled slightly. He reached into his pocket and rooted around for a second. As the cheering continued, he brought out something and threw it on the floor, amidst the glass.

“I guess that's fucking useless.” He turned and left. People in the front could see it was his AA chip and stopped cheering, trading it for a shocked silence. But those in the back couldn't see, and continued. Brenley reached down and angrily picked it up off the floor, slightly cutting his thumb on glass. He held it up, a bit of blood smeared it.

“STOP CHEERING YOU FUCKS. HE’S A GODDAMN ALCOHOLIC.”

That shut them up. Brenley clutched the chip in his fist and walked out, slamming the door behind him.

* * *

Kristina was in the middle of enjoying some french dish she couldn’t pronounce when her phone buzzed. Braiden raised his eyebrows. “Who’s the classy one now.”

“Hey, it might be important.” She looked at it, recognizing the number from before. “Holy shit. This might be Feliks.”

“Shit really?”

“Yeah.” She picked it up and answered it. “Hello?”

“Is this Kristina??” That wasn’t Feliks’ voice by a long shot. It was a tinge deeper and had an accent almost like Braiden’s, though much less strong.

“Yes…?”

“I'm Elias Brenley-”

“Elias?!” She looked over at Braiden whose eyes went wide.

“Yes-”

“Your brother’s here!”

“What?”

“Braiden! He's here he can talk to you!”

“Really?? Can he hear me right now?”

“One second.” She turned on speaker as Braiden quickly got up and walked over to stand next to her chair. “Now he can.”

“Listen, I love you Braidi but this is important.”

Braiden frowned. “Are you okay??”

“Yeah but that's not- just- Kristina, Feliks relapsed.”

She went very still. “..He did?”

“Yeah there was some vodka here and people were celebrating the phone being done and he… he drank a whole bottle. I tried- I tried to stop him.”

“What’s he doing now?”

“Just laying in bed, staring at the ceiling. Christ.” They could hear him take a few deep breaths. “God damnit.”

Braiden frowned. “Are you okay?”

Brenley switched to French. “ _Do you know if she speaks french?”_

_“She doesn’t.”_

_“Braidi I'm about to fucking melt down here but I don't want to leave Feliks by himself.”_ He was talking very fast. “ _Shit shit shitshit.”_

Braiden leaned his elbows on the table. “ _It's okay El. Is there anyone you could leave with him? You could put them on the phone and Kristina could help.”_ Kristina looked up at her name but generally frowned slightly during the conversation, unable to understand the rapid french.

“ _Yeah. One second.”_

In the pause, Braiden turned to Kristina, speaking low. “Feliks is an alcoholic?”

She nodded, not saying anything.

“Fuck. I’m so sorry. I had no idea.”

“He was sober for a good while, two years since he last relapsed, almost three. This is just gonna, destroy him. He always gets super depressed after relapsing… _fuck_ and I won't be able to help him at all.”

“He’ll be okay.”

“Yeah but he’s being tortured every few days! And now this?? Shit.”

Braiden didn't know what to say, he glanced away. He didn't say it but he was worried for his brother. He didn't have anyone to help him through the inevitable meltdown. The dinner lay between them, being ignored and becoming cold.

Brenley clutched the phone in his hands, his knuckles turning white as he started to hyperventilate. He searched around before finally finding James and Nadia. “Oh thank god.” He handed the makeshift phone to James. “Take this. Kristina Mohren’s on the other end, and my… brother? No idea what he’s doing there. Anyways, she’s dealt with this before. Go stay with him. Make sure he doesn't do anything stupid. He’s in the room.” His voice sounded tight. He gripped Nadia’s shoulder. “Come with me.”

She and James glanced at each other before nodding and doing what he said. He practically dragged Nadia into the lab. She wondered why they weren’t going back to the rooms. The muscles in his jaw were noticeably tight. As soon as the door was closed he turned to her. “This is going to sound weird but I need you to hug me.”

“What?”

“It constricts blood vessels. What’s happening right now is called a meltdown, terrible name, and it's an autism thing.” She didn't know a human could talk that fast. “So I need you to hug me.”

“Okay..” She hesitantly stepped forward and hugged him. He wasn't in the classic position for a hug so she just wrapped her arms around his as well, given they were at his sides. She could feel his ribcage shudder as he took in a shaky breath.

“Tighter.”

She grabbed one hand in the other and squeezed her arms in about as much as she could. They stayed like that for a few seconds as he tried to slow his breathing. Her mind wandered, not knowing what to think of the situation. The only other time she had hugged him was at graduation. While the circumstances were much different, it reminded her of then. He was pretty skinny and she could practically feel every bone. His heartbeat thumped into her sternum. Not knowing what else to do she counted the beats as the clock ticked in the corner. 56 beats in 30 seconds. So 112 bpm. Pretty damn fast. She spoke softly. Her head was slightly in his shoulder due to his height.

“You okay?”

She could practically feel his voice rumble up through his chest. He sounded almost scared. “I’m sorry.”

“It's fine Brenley.”

He took a few deep breaths. “I don't think this is working. Here, step away.” She did. “It's not your fault. It just doesn't work sometimes. It's not enough. Just, stay back. Don't come close and don't touch me. I’m serious about that.”

She frowned, getting worried. “Okay...”

In the rooms, James put the phone to his ear. “Is this Kristina…?”

Kristina frowned. She didn't recognize that voice at all. “Yeah, who is this?”

“My name is James. You don’t know me but I’m a friend of Feliks’, I met him up here.”

Braiden leaned forward. “James, where did Elias go? Is he okay?”

“He uh, he’s with another friend. She’ll stay with him, they’re pretty close and uh, she’s generally a pretty good person so I wouldn’t worry.”

“Okay, thanks.”

Kristina gave him a quizzical look and he made a bizarre hand signal to show he’d address it later.

James’ voice came in again. “So Kristina, Feliks is in his room. I’ll go see if he wants to talk to you or something.”

“Okay. Thanks.”

“Yeah.” He hesitantly stepped into the bedroom. Krupin lay on the bed, his elbows stuck in the air as he dug the heels of his palms into his eyes. His voice slurred slightly. “Ellie issat you.”

“Uh, no. Sorry. It’s me, James.”

“James??” He took his hands away.

“Yeah.”

“James. I shouldn’t have done that. Why did I do that.”

“I don’t know.” He shifted his hold on the phone. “Feliks, I have Kristina on the phone. Do you want to talk to her?”

“No.”

James sighed then held the phone to his ear. “Uh, he says he doesn't want to talk.”

“Well, he’s pretty drunk right?”

“I’d say so.”

“Well listen, try to get him to drink some water, or something. Then just let him sleep it off. He’s gonna be kind of out of it for a while. When he’s sober, or at least has a massive hangover, then call me back. You might want to get him a trashbag or something, you know, just in case he gets sick.”

“Yeah. Okay, I’ll call you back later.”

“Okay. And call me if you need to, anytime.”

James hung up and placed the phone on the dresser. He walked over and grabbed the trashcan, bringing it closer to the bed. Krupin seemed pretty out of it as he mumbled.

“Three years. Three _fucking_ years.”

“It's okay Feliks. You can get back on track.”

“Three years down the drain. God I am just like my father. I told myself I wasn't, that I was recovering. But I’m not.”

“You’re still working towards it.”

“I don't wanna be like him James. I- I can't fucking be like him.” He took a deep breath, looking up at the ceiling. “I keep hearing about how people who were victims of abuse due to an alcoholic parent like… stay the fuck away from alcohol. Why couldn't I do that?? No… no I had to go chug the fucking stuff.”

James’ face was stricken. He had no idea about what Krupin’s father was like. “If he… abused you, then- then you're not at all like him.”

“I am when I'm drunk. I haven’t, hurt anyone, but he didn't in the beginning either. He would just get mad. And yell. And- and I've done that while drunk. Each time I fuckin relapse I worry I'm gonna take that next step and hurt someone.” He swallowed hard. “I can't- I can't do that.”

“You won't.”

“You don't know that.” He shook his head. “God. If Teresa was still alive she’d- she’d be so _disappointed_ in me.”

“I don’t think she would. Not that I knew her but… you just need some help. And that’s not a bad thing, everyone needs help sometimes. And from what I can tell, this is genetic. It's a disease, it’s not your fault. Listen Feliks, you should rest. You’re going to feel better once you’re sober.”

“Like fuck I am.” He squinted his eyes closed and dug his palms into them again. “God! Why am I like this! Why can't I just be a normal fuckin person. No. I have to be a trash bag mess piece of fucking _shit_ who can't get his own fucking life together.”

“Jesus, you're not a piece of shit! Do you know how much I look up to you? How much, everyone looks up to you?”

Krupin mumbled. “Bet you don't now. Now you know I’m a fucking dumpster fire of a person.”

“I still do. Fuck, even more so now. Doing what you’ve done while struggling with alcoholism? That's crazy!”

Krupin mumbled something unintelligible.

“What was that?”

“I think I’m gonna-” he turned over and grabbed the trash can, throwing up into it. He took a few deep breaths then retched again. That seemed to be it though and he shook his head. “Fuck… it's in my fucking nose.”

“Need a tissue or something?”

“Uh… yeah. Thanks.”

James got up and grabbed a tissue box, passing it to him. Krupin chuckled as he accepted it. “Having fun watching nobel laureate Feliks Krupin barf his fucking guts out?”

“Everyone’s barfed their fucking guts out at some point. I once woke up in my bed laying facedown in a pool of my own vomit. Hell I bet Jesus barfed his fucking guts out after drinking too much water.”

“Too much water? Ohhhh.” He chuckled. “Fucking hell.”

“Here, why don’t I just stay. If you need anything then tell me, otherwise I can just be some company.”

“Ok-” He burped in the middle of his word and started again. “Okay. Thanks.”

“Yeah. No problem.”

* * *

In the lab, Brenley sat on the couch. He was curled up, his heels digging craters into the cushions. His head was buried in his knees and his arms wrapped up around, covering his ears. Nadia sat next to him but far enough away to give him space. There was silence. It had been almost scary watching him go through it as he yelled and paced and flapped his hands. He might be a little weird normally but he always seemed in control. And he was calmer than most in stressful situations. Though apparently if enough stuff built up it would send him over the edge. He slowly picked his head up, contenting to rest his chin on his knees, then mumbled.

“See. It's not all flashy math tricks.”

“You okay?”

“Yeah… this happens every so often. It's nice to have someone else there but,” He paused. “Fuck I just wish you hadn't have seen this.”

“It's okay Brenley. I'm not gonna judge you for having a fucking autism. I mean jesus, I’m not that much of a dick.”

“You say that, but you're- you're always going to remember the time I fucking acted like a five year old having a tantrum. You're always gonna remember seeing me like this…” He trailed off and stared into the distance.

Nadia took a deep breath, looking down. “More often than I'd like I cry myself to sleep.” Brenley didn't respond, but his eyes shifted slowly over to her. She continued. “The stress of school, combined with just everything going on in my life, it's so much that I fairly often…” she swallowed, “cry myself to sleep.” Her face felt hot. “So there.”

He looked at her then back at the ground. “I suppose we all have our low moments.”

“Exactly.”

He sighed. “I'm going out to the terrace.”

“What about Feliks?”

“I- I can't deal with that right now. I know it's shitty, and that I should help, but right now I just- I can't.”

“Yeah, okay.”

“Can you come with me? I'm sorry. I just need someone.”

“Yeah of course.”

They made their way to the terrace. As they passed people Brenley kept his head down and his hands shoved deep in his pockets. He looked downtrodden. As they got outside he walked to the rail and pulled out a cigarette.

“I suppose now would be a good time to have one.”

“Just stay downwind from me.”

He smiled. “I'm not an asshole.”

She joined him and rested her elbows on the rail, their arms pressed together. He took a drag then let it out slowly. The wind was fairly strong so Nadia barely smelled it.

He glanced at her. “Thanks. And, I'm sorry.”

“You don't have to apologize.”

“But, I mean this isn't what you signed up for. Having to deal with me freaking out over tiny things.”

“That was a pretty big thing.”

“Yeah I did that once because the milk went off.”

“Oh.”

“It's just when things… add up. And the milk was the final straw. Little things, sounds and lights and strong smells, and things happening that I don’t expect to happen, like milk going off, they make me anxious. It's hard to explain. That’s why I-” He pointed at the pencil shoved in his bun- “fidget. It feels like something is building up inside me and if I don’t move I’m gonna explode. But that isn't always enough. And that- that was an explosion.”

Nadia looked away. “I didn’t know that’s what it’s like.”

“Yeah. Sometimes I have to just, move my limbs. You’ve probably seen me do it before. And it’s sometimes crazy to me that, it doesn't happen to other- _normal_ people.” He took another drag from his cigarette, letting it out in a long plume of smoke. “Here.” He moved his other hand and started tapping the top of her palm with his index finger. He tapped steadily for a few long seconds before Nadia jerked her hand away, she just couldn't keep it there for any longer. He moved his hand and started tapping again. This time it was shorter before she jerked her hand away. “That,” He said “That is what it feels like for me almost 24/7. Sometimes when I’m trying to sleep. Not the tapping itself but the feeling that comes from the tapping.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

That… sucks.”

“Yup. Not to mention I have to manually think about what every damn social cue means. I have to work so much harder to just _live_ than neurotypical people and I hate it.”

She didn’t really know what to say. “Listen, you may not be the best at social stuff but, they way you just, approach life is the best part about you.” He frowned slightly at her. “I'm serious! You don't take things too seriously and you don't seem to care what others think about you and you're just… yourself. Honestly I'm kind of jealous.”

He smiled. “It's not really a conscious choice for me but, thanks I guess.”

There was a bang as the door slammed open. “ELIAS.”

They both spun to see Heidi storming towards them. She only used his first name when she was being serious. She strode up to him and glared, an angry finger jutting into his face. He was much taller than her but still shrunk back under her fury.

“Are you fucking kidding me??! You _knew._ You knew he had troubles with alcohol and you let him chug an entire fucking bottle? What is wrong with you?! And- and now you're sitting out her fucking _smoking!_ ” She grabbed the cigarette out of his hand and threw it to the floor, smashing it under her boot. Nadia could see he still wasn't in the greatest mental state, and this wasn't helping. “I don't know fuck all about his life but I’m pretty sure you're his best friend! You need to go fucking help him out so he doesn't crack under GIRA and get us all killed!”

Nadia noticed Brenley was holding his hand behind his back, rapidly tapping the railing. She wished Heidi would stop yelling at him.

“Heidi…”

Now she turned to Nadia. “And you! You're not off the hook! I don't give a _shit_ if you're young. You're a fucking adult and you need to realize when you're needed somewhere and right now that place is not on this fucking terrace with this idiot who apparently doesn't know how to even _function_ as a human!”

She wasn't even the person that was directed at and it hurt. All of the sudden she got just a glimpse into Brenley's life, being made fun of, and ridiculed, for something he couldn't change. For something he hated he couldn’t change. He just stared silently at Heidi, tapping the bar nervously. Heidi paused from her rant, her chest was actually visibly moving as she breathed. Brenley just stood and stared at her. This seemed to put her in a worse mood.

“ _Well??_ Are you just going to stand there?!”

He didn't respond, simply blinked once.

“What do you have to say for yourself! It's your fault-”

“I’m autistic.” He said it in a kind of quiet voice. But it made her stop in her tracks.

“What?”

“I have autism. I'm sorry, I should have told you before because of this situation but it's hard for me to tell people. I just practically broke down because of what Feliks did and I came out here to calm down. Nadia was helping me..” He trailed off.

Her face fell. “Shit.”

He mistook her look of almost dismay as disappointment. “I should have told you Heidi.”

“Elias… I’m so sorry.”

“It's okay. You didn't know.”

“No no. I just- fuck! What I just said about you- shit. I didn't mean that. God I was such a dick.”

“You didn't know-”

“Yeah well I definitely knew you had something.” She pointed at the pencil. “It’s not rocket science. Fuck. I'm so sorry. I don't know what came over me.” She paused, thinking. “Where is Feliks.”

“In our- the rooms.” Nadia sometimes forgot that Heidi didn't know they were together. “He’s with James. That’s- that’s why I took the phone. So James could talk to Kristina. She’s dealt with it before.”

“Okay. Try to use the phone as little as possible.”

“Yeah. I just, didn't know what else to do.”

“It’s okay. Do you guys need help with this, should I get Scott or, do you want to deal with this yourselves.”

“I think we’re good. The less people who are around to judge him… it's better if we keep this between only a few people.”

Heidi nodded. “Well if you need any help. Again, he can’t crack.

“I know. We’ll be okay.”

“Okay. I’m really sorry about what I said. I shouldn’t have said it.” She glanced at Nadia. “You deserve an apology as well. I’m stressed, understandably, but I shouldn't have taken it out on you.”

“It's okay.”

She nodded. “I’ll, leave you here then.”

As she left, Nadia glanced at Brenley. “You good? That was… pretty rough.”

“Not the first time someone has gotten mad at my inability to do some things. Won't be the last.” She could see his adam's apple bob as he swallowed hard. He closed his eyes, taking a few deep breaths. As he opened them, he glanced down, taking the cigarette pack out of his pocket. “Only ten left… we better get off this planet soon enough.”

“Hopefully we will.”

He nodded and shoved the pack back into his jacket. “I should see how Feliks is doing.”

“Yeah.”

When they got back to the rooms, the found James sitting on the couch. Brenley pointed at the door to his and Krupin’s room, raising his eyebrows in question.

“He’s sleeping,” James said. “Stayed awake for a bit then pretty much just passed out. I didn't know if he was going to wake up again so I decided to stay here.”

“Okay. Thank you.”

“Yeah no problem.”

Brenley walked over and peeked his head in the door. He closed it softly after a second. “Yup, still asleep.” He crossed over to sit on the couch, slumping back into it. “The worst part is, I've never dealt with this before. I've never even met someone with alcoholism, that I know of. And now I have to, help him. I don't know what I’m doing.”

James gave a helpless shrug. “Just be there for him. I think that's all you can do really.”

“I hear that a lot. What does that even mean??”

“Make sure he knows if he needs help he can come to you. And, support him y’know. Without judgement.”

“ _Can_ he come to me if he needs help? Sure I’d help in an instant but- but I don't fucking know how to help.”

“At least for me,” Nadia said, “I hate when I come to people with problems and they immediately try to start fixing them. Sometimes I just want to vent. If I want suggestions I’ll ask y’know? So being there if he needs help doesn't necessarily mean fixing everything. Sometimes it just means someone you can complain about life to who won't judge or make you feel like you're not strong enough for complaining.”

There was a noise as the door opened and they turned to see Krupin leaning against the doorframe, grabbing it. Nadia frowned at him.

“Feliks?”

“I wanna go outside.” His voice slurred and she could tell that the alcohol was really starting to hit him.

She glanced nervously at James. “Uh, you probably shouldn't do that.”

“No no I want to.” He stumbled forward slightly. “I wanna go outside. I'm _fine_ I'm not going to do anything I just wanna go outside.”

Brenley watched him, then glanced at Nadia. “He does this sometimes, or did this. He gets these ideas in his head that he wants to do something or go somewhere. You practically have to hold him back.”

“Why are you talkin about me like tha’ Ellie.”

“Because you're smashed.”

“No I’m not.”

“Yeah… you kinda are.” He stood up and walked towards him. “You need to stay here. You're gonna fall off a cliff or something if you go out.”

“No _please_. Please Ellie I’m fine!” He stepped forward, pressing up against Brenley’s arm that held him back. “Eliaaas!”

“Christ. You're not going outside! You’ve got an iq of what? 180 something? You’ve got to know that going outside is a bad idea.”

“Why??”

“Because you're pissed! Going near a massive cliff covered in ice is a shitty idea.”

Nadia sat on the couch, not knowing what to do. Krupin tried to awkwardly shove his hands away. “Please!! I'm done being cooped up in here! Whos the one getting fucking tortured?? sure ain’t you!” He struggled again and Brenley almost lost control of him. He turned to James and Nadia. “Little help guys?”

They quickly got to their feet and rushed over to help him. Even in this state he was surprisingly strong. His voice had a whiny tone to it. “C’mon! I just wanna go outside! Lemme go!”

Nadia stepped closer, pressing her hand against his shoulder in an attempt to stop him walking forward. “Elias is right, stay here.”

“Lemme go!” He shoved her with unexpected strength and she stumbled back against the wall. Her head cracked into the corner and she let out a pained sound.

There was a deafening silence as they all realized what happened. Brenley turned to Krupin, glaring. “What the _fuck_ is wrong with you??”

Krupin had a horrified look on his face. “I- I- Nadia…”

Brenley grabbed his shoulder, hard. “Go back, and get in that bed, and go the fuck to sleep.”

“Nadia-”

“You can apologize in the morning. Go back to bed.”

James meanwhile, was fussing over her. “Are you okay?”

She lightly slapped his hand away. “I’m fine. Sounded worse than it was.”

Krupin was resisting Brenley’s attempts to get him to go to bed. He shook his head, looking foggy, then stumbled over to the trashcan and threw up into it.

Brenley let out a breath. “Oh… christ.” He walked over and rubbed his back. “It’s okay honey.”

Krupin retched again and coughed, gripping the edge of the trashcan. He took a few deep breaths then rested his head on his arm.

Nadia stood still, not knowing what to do. She felt terrible for him, he just seemed so out of control of his own actions. Brenley kneeled next to him, his face full of worry.

Nadia swallowed awkwardly. “Do you… want me to help? Or, let you deal with this or… I dunno.”

“I’m uh, I’m gonna try to get him to bed once he’s, done.”

“Okay. I can, deal with this.” She gestured vaguely at the trashcan. “I know you’re not great with this stuff.” He was barely able to take out the trash normally, he was kind of hyper sensitive to smells.

“You can say that again. Thanks.”

Krupin retched again, but nothing came out. His stomach heaved for a few seconds before he spat into the trashcan, shaking his head.

“Thiss… this is why I fuckin’ quit.” His voice was still slurred.

Brenley rubbed his back again. “It’s okay. Do you think you can walk back to bed?”

He nodded silently.

“Okay, c’mon.” He helped him up, supporting him by grabbing his arm. He walked him back to the room and helped him get into bed. “You’ll feel better in the morning babe.” He pulled the blanket up to his shoulder. “Now go to sleep.”

Krupin mumbled something unintelligible, his eyelids already drooping.

Brenley walked back out, closing the door softly behind him, and glanced at Nadia who was busy tying the trash bag. “Your head okay?”

“I’m fine. It’s not like he meant to do that, he was just trying to get away from me. Shit like that has happened before with drunk friends. It’s fine.” While she meant what she said, she was a bit shaken up from it. The back of her head throbbed and had she tried to feel it discreetly. If James or Brenley saw her checking it they’d get all fussy. It didn't seem like there was much swelling, just a little bit. “So yeah. Just tell him I know it was an accident. And, I’ve been elbowed in the face and vomited on and even punched by drunk friends before, shit happens.”

“Alright. Well, I’m probably going to take the couch tonight. If he throws up again, not into the trashcan, like hell am I waking up to that.”

“Okay. I’m just gonna take this out then go to bed.”

“I can grab it.” James said. “I’ll pass the garbage chute on the way back to my room.”

“Oh, okay thanks.” She handed it to him and he briefly touched her shoulder before nodding and heading out. Nadia stared at the door for a second after he left then let out a deep breath. “Night Brens. If you need anything in the morning… y’know.”

“Yeah. Night.”

She left him standing in the middle of the living room, looking a bit lost and incredibly alone.

* * *

When Krupin finally woke up, he checked his phone, it was late afternoon. He had a slight throbbing headache behind his eyes but his nausea was gone. Everything that happened the other night rushed back to him and a sense of failure filled him up like concrete. He turned over and curled up under the blankets, not wanting to get up. It was a long ten minutes or so of him holding back tears and insulting himself in his head for being such an idiot when there was a soft knock on the door and Brenley peered in.

“You awake?”

“Yeah…”

“Are you feeling better?”

“A bit.”

“That’s good. Do you wanna get up? I can make some eggs and stuff.”

“No…”

Brenley sighed. “You should get up.”

“No. I don’t- I don’t want to. Everyones gonna be _looking_ at me, and judging me and pitying me and- and I can’t deal with that.”

He walked over sitting down on the bed next to him. “It’s just me and Nadia Fil. And if you want, I can ask her to go to James’ for a bit or something. You should just, get up. Wallowing in bed isn’t doing any good.”

There was a long silence before Feliks spoke, his voice hollow. “I’m sorry for what I said the other day.”

“Hey, it’s okay.”

“You didn’t seem like you were okay with it yesterday.”

“That was yesterday. I told you I just needed some time. Some time has passed. It’s fine now Fil.”

“You’re just saying that ‘cause I relapsed and you feel bad for me.”

“Yeah well you're not helping that cause by being all self pitying.”

Krupin turned his head and stared at him.

“C’mon. Up ya get. It’s getting pretty late in the afternoon, you have to be hungry.”

Finally, Feliks mumbled. “Okay. But, can you tell Nadia to go over to James’ or something.”

“Yeah.” He stood up to leave when Krupin’s voice pulled him back.

“Wait.”

“Hm?”

“I- I need to apologize to her. I… fuck, I hurt her and I need, I just need to apologize.”

“You can do that later, when you’re feeling better. But, she’s fine Fil. It was an accident.”

“Still.”

Brenley let out a long breath. “Listen, you can tell her when she comes back. Okay?”

He nodded slightly. “Okay.”

Brenley went into the kitchen where Nadia was sitting at the counter. She looked up as he walked in. “He awake?”

“Yeah.”

She grimaced. “Hangover?”

“Hell of one. Listen, would you mind maybe going over to James’ for a bit? I don't think he really wants to be around… anyone right now.”

“Yeah sure I don’t mind.” She grabbed her stuff off the counter and got to her feet. “I’ll uh, see you later tonight then.”

“See you. Thanks for, helping and all.”

“Yeah, no problem.”

He went back into the bedroom, leaning up against the doorframe. “Okay. She’s gone.”

Krupin nodded and slowly got to his feet, taking care of his throbbing head. “If you’re still offering up eggs I’ll take some.”

“Yeah sure.” As Krupin passed him on the way to the kitchen, he crossed his arms. “Hey did you ever talk to Braiden after I, y’know, left?”

“Like your brother Braiden?”

“Do we mutually know any other Braidens?”

“True.”

“I know you guys kinda hit it off when you met…”

“I like him, he’s an awesome dude, but I havent really talked to him since we split. I mean, maybe I messaged him a couple times on social media stories but, that's it.”

“Huh.”

“Why?”

“Well, when I called Kristina last night… Braiden was there. I talked to him a bit and everything. Granted I only talked to him for like, two seconds but it was definitely him.”

Krupin frowned. He seemed a bit disoriented, due to his headache, and this just made him more confused. “What? Kris- Kris definitely has never met him. I don't know if she even knows you have siblings.”

“That’s weird. Maybe- maybe they met up somehow ‘cause we’re both here.”

“That’s probably it.”

Once Krupin was sitting in front of a plate full of scrambled eggs, he stared down at it, swallowing. “Christ, I- I don’t think I can eat this. I’m sorry. Thanks for making them but, but if I eat this it’s gonna come right back up.” He put his head in his hands, rubbing his brows. “Jesus christ why did I do this. _Why_ did I do this.”

“It’s this situation. Don’t feel bad about it. You have a disease.”

Krupin didn't respond, just let out a long breath, staring at the eggs.

“Do you maybe want some toast or something? You should try to eat, it’ll make you feel better in the long run. I can eat the eggs, I was hungry anyways.”

“Might be able to eat some toast with butter.”

“Alright.” He got up to go make that but not before crossing over and hugging Krupin from behind. “I love you okay? Don't feel bad about this. Don’t feel bad about needing help. I know we’re not married but I plan to marry the fuck out of you and there's that whole thing about sickness and health and whatnot. You’ve helped me a ton in the past, time for me to repay the favor.”

Krupin glanced at him with slow eyes. “I don’t deserve you.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Mid March**

Nadia walked into the lab and was met by a fairly large stream of water to the face. She spluttered and took a step back, wiping the water off her skin. "What the hell?" She heard the distinct sound of Brenley laughing and glared at him. He was holding what looked like a super soaker scienced to the teeth. It was like one of the packs from ghostbusters with a large gun in the front that was operated by pulling a trigger. This was attached to a tube that looped under his arm to the bottom of a large tank on his back. It was made of fairly simple materials though it was obviously carefully put together. Nadia stared at it.

"Did you make a water gun? In a hostage situation?"

"It's water for now." He grinned and shrugged it off onto the ground. "This puppy is going to be filled with VX."

"VX?"

"O-ethyl S-2-diisopropylaminoethyl methylphosphonothioate."

"Bless you."

He smiled. "It's a nerve agent. Really fucks you up if you get it on your skin and especially in your eyes. Just a few drops in your eyes can kill you in minutes."

Nadia wiped the remaining drops of water out of her own eyes. "You didn't put any of that stuff in there before the water right?"

"Nope. This is just to test the gun thing. I have yet to make the VX. If there was any in there you'd currently be convulsing on the floor." Nadia raised her eyebrows and he nodded, "I've never made it, for obvious reasons so, it'll be interesting."

"Do you, know how to make it?"

"Well, I love O-chem."

"Is there something wrong with you."

"What? It makes sense to me!"

"You and no one else."

"Jealous. Anyways, I know the shape and I kinda just backwards figured out how to do it. Took me a bit. It's basically just alkylating phosphorous trichloride with a methyl group a few times then reacting it with sulfur. Couple more steps but.. you get it. Although methylating phosphorus trichloride is not really a well known procedure because it's just for chemical weapons so there's going to be some trial and error but, hopefully we'll get there eventually. There are a few ways of methylating stuff and I narrowed it down to only a couple I'm fairly sure will work. Hopefully."

"Aren't nerve agents usually gas? Y'know, mustard gas and agent orange and stuff."

He nodded and picked his contraption up, carrying it over to a table. "Normally yeah. But since the gas can do harm to your skin and is generally harder to control I thought liquid would be better. It does take a bit longer to take effect but if a tiny bit can kill you in a few minutes then I can only imagine what a super soaker to the face would do. Although it does evaporate a bit as a liquid but apparently the headsets have built in gas masks. I don't think they could handle full clouds of it though so it's better to do liquid."

"Why do you know so much about a nerve agent."

He chuckled. "My brain is weird. Sometimes I just remember random facts that arent useful in any situation. Except apparently hostage situations. I did a project on nerve agents way back in like, highschool. It was mainly about their historical use but I got interested in the chemistry and looked a bit more into them."

"You can remember the entire O-ethyl S-2-blahblahblahblah from memory after researching it in  _highschool?_ "

He shrugged broadly. "My brain is weird. Anyways, I finished the thing to 'spray' it so to speak. Haven't actually made the VX though."

She followed him over to the table and looked at what he had made. It was actually pretty intricate. The clear tank on the back looked almost like a wine box, it had a bunch of long vertical rectangles that split it up into a bunch of smaller tanks. Each was probably four square inches. From each segment a tube extended from the bottom, joining into one larger tube. On the top was a small canister of gas connected to the whole tank.

"How does it work?"

"The gas compresses in, pushing the liquid down the tubes. The trigger just opens the valve so that it will fire. It's split up into multiple chambers because if it was one then liquid dynamics would really fuck up quick movements as it would slosh around a bunch. Also I didn't really plan it, but if it does get punctured it serves as a safety measure as only a couple chambers will be lost, not the whole thing. I do plan to put padding and graphene around it so it doesn't get punctured."

"I'm concerned about how you can make a nerve agent."

"Man I'm a chemist. I can make meth and VX and rohypnol and all sorts of sketchy things. It's just that they monitor what amounts of stuff is used at the university and you can't quite stroll up to a supermarket and ask for 2 molar sulfuric acid for the hell of it. Here however, nobody gives a shit what I use because we're just trying to escape."

He glanced over the worktable. "Plus the amount I would be making is one hundred percent illegal. I'm talking defined by the UN as a weapon of mass destruction and production except for research is prohibited illegal."

She raised her eyebrows. "Fucking hell. Really?"

"Yeah. It's the most dangerous nerve agent out there. I think the ol' security council will forgive me this time though."

Nadia chuckled. "This time? Have you gotten on the bad side of five whole countries before?"

"If anybody could, it would be me."

"True."

She glanced over his contraption once more before turning slightly towards him. "How's Feliks by the way? I haven't seen him this morning at all."

"He's, actually doing good I think. Sometimes hard to tell with him, especially for me but I'm pretty sure he's having a good day."

Since his relapse, 'good days' meant he was like his normal self. 'Bad days' meant he was withdrawn and untalkative. For a good half week after it, he had just stayed in their room, either staring up at the ceiling or sleeping, only coming out maybe a couple times in the late afternoon for food. Nadia didn't tell them but sometimes, she could hear through the wall as Brenley tried to quietly comfort his sobbing partner. It was taking a toll on him as she could see some bags under his eyes from lack of sleep, but for the most part his demeanor stayed the same, besides some small things annoying him more easily than they did before.

They got to work on their prospective projects, Brenley set aside his super soaker and started fiddling with his next design, something small by the looks of it. Nadia wasn't as used to designing and making a contraption using just a 3D printer and an autocad program so she was taking a bit longer.

Eventually, she took a break and lay down on the couch, staring up at the ceiling. She lay there for a few minutes before Brenley joined her, copying her position on the other side of the L shape so that their heads were in the corner, next to each other.

"So," He said. "What are we looking at."

"Uh... the ceiling."

"Fun."

"Mm hmm."

There was almost a full ten seconds of silence. Normally Nadia would try to fill it with something but for some reason with Brenley she was comfortable enough just to say nothing when there was nothing to talk about. Eventually though, she did speak up.

"What do I do about James."

"What do you do about what about James."

She frowned for a second, parcing through what he said. "I mean, we're kinda dating now. But, we're stuck in a single building. I mean, we've done the whole 'watch a movie together' date thing a million times already and we just started seeing each other. Also I've never really  _seriously_ dated someone before. I mean, seriously seriously."

"Sleep with him."

She let out a surprised laugh. "What?"

"I'm the gay best friend right? So I'm supposed to be super sassy and feminine and somehow always single. So…" He altered his voice, making it gayer. " _Sleep with him gurl._ "

It was so strange hearing that voice come out of his mouth that she couldn't help but laugh. "You're the worst!"

He chuckled. "I am semi serious though. You wanna take it to the next step, that's the next step."

"How."

"Nadia when a man and a woman love each other very very much, a magical thing happens-"

She twisted and slapped his shoulder. "Fuck off!"

He laughed, squirming away. "Ow!"

"Asshole. I mean like, these rooms have you and fuckin blue-eyes mcgee, and the others have Mae."

"Just tell me to leave and I'll drag blue-eyes mcgee along with me."

"Ugh but that's so awkward."

"We're talking about it now…"

"It's gonna be more awkward in the moment! Just like 'hey, vacate so we can bang'."

"There see? you know what to say."

"Man why am I talking to you. You're about as helpful as a lungfish."

"What have you got against lungfish?"

"I dunno! They just don't seem like they'd be very helpful."

"Mm. True I guess."

She sighed, glancing away. "Not to mention I haven't had sex in like, a year. I don't even know what a dick looks like at this point."

"Like two dried apricots glued to a naked molerat."

She chuckled. "Man you're gay! Aren't you supposed to like dicks?"

"I don't have to like them aesthetically. Christ I don't think anyone likes them aesthetically."

"Okay true enough." She let out a sigh. "Also, to be honest, havent really had the best experiences with sex in the past."

He turned his head, frowning at her.

She waved her hands quickly. "No no not like that! It's just the type of guy I seem to attract is shitty nerds who are surprised when a girl can also like nerdy shit. And they have no experience, which I mean, neither do I, but at least I know to see when someone isn't really enjoying themselves." She let out a long breath. "Lets just say they always left more satisfied than me."

"Why did you date them?"

"I dunno! Because I'm shit at saying no. And because they were the only kinda guys who were interested so I was just like, 'well it's this or nothing'. God It was always just awkward and messy and generally shit."

His voice had much less of a joking tone now. "James is a good guy. Just, tell him. Go slow y'know?"

She nodded. "Yeah." There was a long pause before she realized the ridiculousness of the situation and laughed, shaking her head. "Man why am I asking my damn professor for sex advice."

"Your gay professor at that. Boy, find a better mentor."

"I'm low on options up here."

They talked for a bit longer about mundane stuff before getting back to work. Brenley only worked for about an hour longer then took in a deep breath and let it out, staring down at his project.

"I'm uh, gonna go back. Maybe help Feliks and Saoirse a bit."

"What about your thing?" She pointed to the smaller contraption he was staring at.

"Both that and the other thing need me to synthesize some shit, chemical stuff, to work and it's better to do that in one go but doing it today would result in me working super late. Which I'm too lazy to do. So I'll just start tomorrow, help out with the ol' graphene production today."

The synthesizer they had been working on was finally finished, now it was just about making the vats again and actually making the sheets of graphene they'd need.

"Alright. Have fun I guess."

"Will do." He patted the table then turned and left.

Nadia stared after him for a second before going back to work, humming softly to herself. She was still a bit confused on how she was going to make the pellets she needed for her little makeshift gun she was making. She was determined not to ask Brenley, not only did she want to surprise him with a working weapon but she also wanted to do something for herself once, instead of constantly asking for help or googling things. Somehow, she needed to create a hollow pellet she could fill with stuff that would burst on impact. They had a printer that would print soft materials, but that involved printing in a semi-solid gel to provide support so she'd just end up with a pellet full of gel. But simply making super thin hard plastic would make them very easy to accidentally break. Out of curiosity, she programmed the soft plastic printer to print a simple noodle-like shape and got back to work as it printed.

When it finally finished, the took the noodle out and turned one of the bunsen burners on, sticking one end into the flame. After a few seconds she turned it in on itself and stuck the heated end to the middle. Like she hoped, it fused and cooled into that position. That solved it then, she'd just print hollow spheres with holes in the top and little 'caps' then just heat the edges of the cap up and squish it down on top.

She programmed in a little grid of pellets and continued. It took the printer a long time and afterwards she had to go through the painstaking process of cleaning the gel out. They needed to conserve it so she couldn't just wash it down the drain like she normally would. It was only a couple minutes after she had them all cleaned out when the door opened and James walked in.

She smiled. "Hey."

"Hey." He walked over and kissed her cheek. "Whatcha doing?"

"Making a gun to shoot Brenley."

He grinned. "That seems a bit extreme. What'd he do?"

"Well he sprayed me in the face with water this morning so… That's enough." She gestured at the still wet spot on her shirt.

"Why'd he do that?"

"Long story." She set what she was working on down and took a deep breath. "I think I can stop for the day. Do you know if Bunsen and Beaker are back at the rooms?"

"Well I just came from there to check if you were there and… they weren't." He was leaning against the counter and fiddling slightly with her hand. "Why?"

She started fiddling with his hand in turn, punctuating each word by tapping her finger on the back of his palm. "Do you want to maybe go back there and… get, it, on."

He raised his eyebrows. " _Oh._ "

"That a yes?"

"That's a hell yes."

"Nice. Lemme just put this shit away." As they walked back to the rooms, she felt like every nerve was on end, not out of excitement but of almost nervousness. She was always nervous beforehand. Nervous that she would somehow fuck up. Nervous that he would see her stretch marks and cellulite and stomach fat and decide he didn't like her anymore. Nervous about everything. Actually, she couldn't think of a time she had sex while sober. She wasn't confident enough without at least a few drinks, not confident to overlook all her flaws and actually have fun.

When they got back, James gently grabbed the nape of her neck and kissed her. After a few long seconds she pushed slightly at his shoulder and broke away. "Wait wait."

James stopped, his brow furrowing. "You okay?"

"Yeah it's just, well we should probably get a condom... normally I'm on the pill, mainly for cramps, but there isn't exactly a fully stocked birth control pharmacy here."

He grinned. "That a thing? Birth control pharmacy?"

"You know what I mean! Anyways like hell am I accidentally getting pregnant here or acquiring some asymptomatic form of herpes or somethin."

"I'm wounded."

"Man like a third of the population has herpes. It's a possibility."

"Okay, I mean I agree we should get one but, where? You want to go ask for one at the health center?"

She glanced to the side. "Would it be weird if I snuck into Brenley and Feliks' room and stole one of theirs."

"Do they use condoms?"

"Saw a wrapper in their trash bag when I took the trash out."

James nodded slightly. "I feel like it's kinda a weird thing to do but at the same time I don't want to tell Scott I'm having sex. That's like asking your  _dad_ for a condom."

"Yeah… Okay you stand outside the door and I'll look around."

As Nadia rooted around the drawers beside Brenley and Krupin's bed she shook her head, smiling slightly. "Man I better not find anything weird here."

"Like what? A dildo carved out of a rock? That's about all that could be acquired up here."

She snorted. " _Jesus._ "

He stuck his head in through the door. "Find anything?"

"Gimme a second here! I'll tell you if I do." She slid open a drawer and spotted a wrapper poking out from under a book. It was a copy of some Terry Pratchet thing. She smiled, mumbling to herself, "Man Brenley, you are such a nerd" She shoved it to the side and grabbed the condom, calling out, "Found some!"

She walked out and tossed it to him, making him jump as he caught it, surprised, then turned it over in his fingers. "Well, that answers that question."

"Hm?"

"I was wondering why they'd need condoms. But this thing is pre-lubed. I'm guessing their only other option up here is like, greek style. Olive oil."

"Aw  _gross_."

He grinned. "What? You know they have sex right."

"I am way more aware of that than I am comfortable with. These walls are like damn tissue paper."

He grinned again, somehow almost wickedly. "Really? I only have Mae and she has a boyfriend back on earth. No hanky panky from her room."

"Yeah no it is not fun sometimes. But I have good headphones so…"

"What do you… hear?"

"Oh you know, the classic bed moving sounds. As well as," She rolled up her sleeve and slapped her forearm a couple times, making the unmistakable sound of skin hitting skin.

James grimaced and turned away, laughing. "Oh no!"

"See?!" She glanced to the side. "Christ, can we stop talking about Bunsen and Beaker's sex life? Number one way to kill the mood."

James chuckled, leaning over. "I dunno… could be hot."

"Absolutely not."

He laughed and Nadia couldn't help but smile. He laughed with his entire body and every time he did it just cheered her up. She shoved him slightly, still smiling. "Asshole." She grabbed the zipper of his coat. "C'mere dumbass." They went back to her room and Nadia closed and locked the door behind her.

A couple minutes later, Brenley walked into the apartment. As soon as he caught onto what was happening he made an immediate u-turn and walked back out, mumbling to himself. "Nope nope nope nope nope. Nooo thank you." He passed Krupin on his way out, who was also heading for the rooms. He grabbed his arm, dragging him along. "We are going to the canteen."

Krupin stumbled as he abruptly had to switch directions. "What? Why?"

"No reason."

* * *

Nadia stared at the ceiling, breathing heavily and feeling cold. Her skin was all gross and sweaty and the blankets had been kicked off onto the floor so she was now starting to feel a bit chilly. James grinned and rubbed her arm. "So. What are the, reviews. "

Nadia sat up and swung her legs off the bed. "I gotta pee."

"What, now?"

"Yep. I had a UTI once and it sucked balls."

"Huh."

She poked her head out the door as she tugged some shorts on and pulled a tank top over her head, not bothering with a bra. It looked like Brenley and Krupin hadn't come back in the last half hour or so and she silently thanked god. In the bathroom she discovered her hair was an absolute mess and tried to fix it a bit with her hands, to minimal success. She had been worried that James would be just as shitty as her previous boyfriends but that worry had been thoroughly quenched. He actually made her realize just  _how_ shitty they had been.

When she got back, James had gotten his underwear and a shirt on and was sitting up in the bed, idly flipping through a book she had on her bedside table. Nadia sighed at the state of the room. "Oh lord." She gathered the duvet up into her arms off the floor and dumped it onto the foot of the bed. As she smoothed it out a bit, James set the book down and reached out, grabbing her waist, pulling her back onto the bed. She laughed and slapped at his hands.

"Agh! You fucker!"

He grinned and kissed her cheek. "You're so cute."

She smiled and looped her arms around his neck. "I dunno if I like being cute."

"Hot?"

"Hot works."

He kissed her neck, mumbling, "Fuck I think I love you."

"Oh damn I'm that good am I."

"I'm serious."

"Wait, really?" She said, her brow furrowing.

"I know I probably shouldn't say it but, I think I do."

"We've been together for like, a week!"

"Yeah but I met you what, nine months ago?" He glanced to the side. "I know you might not feel the same right now but I just wanted to tell you. And I don't want to pressure you or anything."

Nadia stared for a second, not knowing what to say. Something inside her felt shattered. If he was serious about what he said, he  _loved_ her. And she had no idea what to think about that.

"James I…"

He glanced down. "I get it."

"No no, I just don't know if I'm ready to say that yet." Something in the back of her mind nagged at her. Would she ever be ready to say that?

"Shit, I didn't mean to come off as passive aggressive. I really do get it though, I know you don't know when you'll say that. If, ever I suppose."

She took a deep breath, staring at him. "My past relationships have been super shallow and kinda shitty. So, I'm just gonna kinda go slow with the whole feelings thing."

"Yeah. That's fine."

God he was such a good guy. So why was she now doubting this? She scooted over to sit next to him. There was a short silence before she poked him in the side. "Hey so, the reviews are in… and that was pretty damn amazing."

He grinned. "Really?"

"Mm."

"Good. Wouldn't want to leave you, wanting more."

"I was probably a bit shit in comparison but, I just… don't have much experience. I'll get better."

"Well, the plan is for you to get plenty of experience so.."

She chuckled. "I like that plan."

He started fiddling with her hand. It seemed to be a habit of his. "Also just, you're super cool and way out of my league and I feel so fuckin lucky that… we're seeing each other."

Nadia grinned. "Me, out of your league? Are you insane? I'm a fuckin ugly dumbass."

"And I'm fat as shit." He said it in a joking tone but his face soon dropped. Nadia stared, it was the first time she had seen him insecure about his weight. He had joked about it before, but never very seriously.

"So?"

James stared at her, surprised by the answer.

"Being fat isn't a character flaw. And I know society says it not attractive but, that's just society being shitty. You're attractive to me, and I'm sure a lot of others, so I'm glad I'm the one who managed to snatch you up."

He gave an almost shy smile. "Thanks."

She slid further down in the bed. "Lord I'm tired."

"Have you even had dinner?"

"Nah. I'm not hungry though." She stared down. "Also, just so you know, I'm kinda bi." A slight smile crossed her face. "Bi the way…"

"Really?  _Bi_  the way?"

She chuckled. "Sorry. You don't mind though do you?"

"Of course not. So wait, other than me, the whole 'group' is some sort of LGBT? What are the odds of that?"

"We herd."

"Really?"

"Yeah. It's kinda, like if you know someone else is queer you're more likely to trust them I guess. 'We've gone through the same shit' vibe. Also the humor is similar."

"Huh. Didn't really think of that before."

"Because you're straight. Which by the way  _is_ a character flaw."

He laughed. "I'm sorry! I just like boobs too much."

"They're pretty great."

He laughed again.

"Also if you ever find yourself saying the word threesome, stop yourself, because I will throat punch you."

"God I dunno how threesomes even work. Like how does one arrange them? Group text? 'Hey guys. Fuck sesh on friday.' Sounds like a nightmare."

"Honestly yeah."

The talked for ages, and Nadia eventually did get kind of hungry but she was either too lazy or didn't want to manage Brenley and Krupin asking questions so she stayed in bed. They finally went to sleep at around midnight.

Nadia woke shoved up against the wall, her face pressed into it. She shifted slightly to see James sprawled out over the entire bed. She shoved his arm.

"Move asshole. You squished me into the wall."

He woke up and mumbled tiredly. "Shit.. sorry." He scooted over, letting her have half the bed back. "I move a bit in my sleep."

"No shit."

He squinted at the light that fell through the window. The room had one of the few windows in the building as most of it was embedded in the mountain. "What time is it?"

"Fairly early. We should probably get up. I don't want Bunsen and Beaker rubbing their gay little hands over this and being all dramatic."

He laughed. "Okay, we can get up."

* * *

"Morning." Brenley mumbled as he wandered into the kitchen, his eyes squinted in the light.

"Morning." Nadia said.

He put some bread in the toaster then grabbed a coffee mug and poured some out from the french press. "You're up early."

"Yeah." She didn't want to explain that they had gotten up early so James could sneak out. They had gotten distracted talking and eating breakfast and now it was just kind of useless.

As Brenley searched through the fridge for something to eat, James nodded his head at him and mouthed, " _Should I leave?"_

Nadia grimaced and shrugged. He shrugged back. The door opened again and Krupin walked out, yawning and running his hand through his hair, doing small movements to mask the slight trembling in his hands that had started a few days ago and didn't seem to want to go away. Nadia glanced significantly at him and mouthed back to James. " _No use now."_

Krupin grabbed the french press and poured himself a cup, he looked at James, as if noticing him for the first time. "Oh. Hey James." He deliberately filled it a bit less than full so he wouldn't spill it, given he couldn't quite hold it still.

"Hey."

"You're over here early." James and Nadia glanced at each other while Brenley not so subtly dug his elbow into Krupin's ribs. Krupin frowned "Ow Ellie! What-" He saw James and Nadia's expressions and realization dawned on his face. "Ohh."

Brenley grumbled as he took two pieces of toast out of the toaster and passed one to him. "Eat your breakfast and stop being awkward, fucker."

There was an awkwardly long tense silence as none of them really knew what to say. Even changing the subject would be awkward. Finally, Brenley broke the silence.

"So was it good?"

Krupin choked on his coffee while Nadia and James stared incredulously at him. As Krupin managed to deal with his coffee he started to laugh.

" _Elias!_  That is not a thing you ask!"

Somehow,  _that_  broke the tension. Nadia and James started to laugh as well. As did Brenley, although his face was coloring a good amount as he realized the faux pas he just made. As it died down, Krupin shook his head, smiling.

"Fuckin hell Ellie."

"Sorry." He said, looking guilty.

"So." Krupin said. "Are you gonna be… sticking around here more often?"

James glanced at Nadia and they had a quick nonverbal discussion, Nadia's slight shrug seemed to indicate an answer. He looked back to Krupin. "Yeah, I guess I am."

"Cool. Well, I'm off to get a shower." He gave Brenley, whose face was still red, a peck on the cheek. "Don't say any more embarrassing things."

"I can't promise that."

As he left, Nadia grinned at Brenley. "Hey Brens. So how's your sex life going?"

He shook his head, turning and starting to put butter on his toast. "Get fucked."

"I did."

James wheezed and looked away, struggling to contain his laughter.

" _Okay_." Brenley said. "Anyways, lighten up on the poor autistic man who made a social fuckup."

"Fine, you get a free pass this time."

"Mph."

"Could you refill the toaster?"

"Refill? Man who uses the word refill with a toaster."

"Just put bread in it asshole."

He chuckled and grabbed another two pieces of bread, sticking them in. He turned back after he pushed the lever down. "Hey so I was going to make the VX today, might need some help."

"You do know that I almost failed chemistry right. Not to mention organic."

"I am perfectly aware because I taught you chemistry. Or, failed to teach you chemistry. But I don't really need you to do any actual, chemistry. I got all the equations figured out, at this point it's just a recipe and I need to set up glassware and do all sorts of stuff it's hard to do with one pair of hands."

"Well as long as you tell me what to do."

"I'd volunteer to help," James said. "But I haven't done chemistry in a good seven years and last time I was in a chem lab I slightly lit some stuff on fire."

Brenley raised his eyebrows. "Yeah I think me and Nadia are good…"

"Alright, well, I'll leave you then. I gotta brush my teeth and stuff. See you later." He stood up and squeezed Nadia's shoulder before walking out.

Brenley watched him leave then turned to Nadia. "Who's a lungfish now?"

"Alright. Fine. You were, right."

"Okay but now it's just the two of us, was it good."

" _Hell_  yes. Damn that boy knows his shit."

Brenley laughed and walked over to the table holding his hand up. "Wayoo."

Nadia grinned and slapped it. "Wayoo."

"Well good. You deserve someone who knows their shit."

She chuckled, shaking her head. "Christ. Should we make some death juice?"

"Hell yeah."

"Okay lemme just eat that toast then we'll go. Oh and just so you know, I told James I'm bi finally. No need to hold back with the gay jokes around him anymore."

"Perfect."

In the lab, Brenley grabbed one of the coats and pulled it on then wiggled a pair of goggles onto his head. Nadia stared at him. "Wow. I don't think I've ever seen you like, actually put safety equipment on."

He waved his hand vaguely. "Usually it's kinda bullshit. As long as my hands are covered I'm good. But, this shit is actually dangerous. You should get some stuff on as well."

"Alright." As she grabbed some goggles, she glanced over at him.

"Should we put on some music?"

"Sure." He fished his ipod out of his pocket and slid it over to her. "Put on whatever you want. Be aware that pretty much every song from the 70's onward is on there."

"Jesus how much music do you have?"

" _A lot._ "

She picked it up and started scrolling through the artists. She turned it to him. "Really? Keith Urban?"

"Don't judge me like this! I just download anything I hear and don't hate."

" _And you don't hate Keith Urban._ "

"Well… no."

"Please  _God_  tell me you aren't into country music."

He grimaced. "It's just that there's not many genres I don't listen to. So yeah. I have a few country songs."

"You're dead to me."

He made an exaggerated sad face.

"The only good country song is 'Before He Cheats'"

"Well I have that one as well!"

She shook her head disapprovingly. "Doesn't save you."

A grin spread across his face. "Ooh you're gonna hate me for this. Ever since I was a little french kid watching american movies to help learn english, I've kinda had a… thing, for cowboys."

" _What._ "

He shrugged. "I dunno man. Those jeans."

"I thought you liked black guys! Have you ever seen a black cowboy? At least in modern times and the media. Fairly sure they were common in the old west or whatever."

"Yeah, but boy there is a reason I have Django Unchained on my computer and it is called  _thirst._  So… maybe it's good there aren't more."

She opened her phone to the notes app and spoke slowly as she typed. "Black cowboy…" He frowned and she put the phone down. "Ignore me, just a reminder on what kind of stripper to get for your bachelor party."

He burst out laughing. "I like how the assumption is that you're gonna be my best man."

"Son if it ain't me I'm not coming."

"My sister already called that position."

"Your… sister."

"Yeah. We decided to rotate. Corina's going to be my 'best man'. I'm going to be Braiden's and Braiden is going to be Corina's… maid of honor?"

"It would work better if you were three brothers huh."

"I guess yeah. But me and Braiden aren't going to just be each other's best man and leave her completely out of it. We'll figure it out. Anyways maybe you could co best man with her."

"So instead of a single man, as is traditional, you'd have two chicks."

He giggled. "Exactly. Man it's a gay wedding already, might as well really fuck with tradition."

"Mm." She put on a playlist that said 'old ass bangers' it seemed to include quite a lot of Queen, Abba, Elton John, and similar stuff. It started off with Space Oddity which seemed rather apt.

Brenley grinned and nodded along to the beat. "Hell yeah Bowie my man!"

It took a good while to make a small vial of the VX, they were only making a small amount to make sure his method worked. If it did, he'd make more. Even though it was dangerous stuff, whenever a song he liked came on, which was most of them, he would sing along and do small dance movements to the beat. As they waited for a distilling column to finish and the small collecting flask to fill up with product, he tapped the table and sung along to fat bottomed girls. Nadia smiled as she watched him.

"You're actually good at that."

"Hm?"

"Singing, you're good at it."

"Oh, thanks." His cheeks colored a bit. "Turns out I have perfect pitch. Which, y'know, is real helpful for my job as a scientist." He glanced up. "Uhp. Finished."

She looked at the collecting flask and saw that the drops had indeed slowed to a stop. "Right."

They continued working until they had a small beaker full of the stuff under a fume hood.

"So," Nadia said. "How do we know it's VX?"

"You could drink it. If you die it worked."

"Wonderful idea. I feel like a lot of things could kill me if I drank them though."

"Stick your hand in it."

"You stick your hand in it."

"Hm. How could we test it though? Like really. It is recoverable if you only get a tiny amount on your skin."

Nadia held up her finger. "I am going to stop that train of thought before it leaves the station you dumbass. You're not putting a drop on your skin. Bad idea."

"If I just pour bleach on it afterwards, it should be good."

"Do not pour bleach on your skin! Do not put a nerve agent on your skin! What is wrong with you?"

"I dunno. Fucked genetics?"

"Apparently." She frowned and stared at the beaker. "How does it work? Like how does it kill someone?"

"Blocks acetylcholinesterase. Basically when a motor neuron fires, it releases acetylcholine to stimulate a muscle cell. Then normally it's broken down by acetylcholinesterase so it isn't like, constantly contracting. This just stops it from breaking it down so the muscles get all fucky."

"Do the animals here have acetylcholine?"

"Wow you just really want vegans to hate you don't you."

"Well what other choice do we have?" He opened his mouth to speak and she held up her finger again. "If you suggest putting it on yourself again I am going to titrate this entire beaker down your fucking  _throat_."

He let out a surprised laugh. "Jesus."

"So. Animals here. Do they have it?"

"I… don't know. Bet some biologists know though."

It took them awhile to find a biologist who knew the answer, and it turned out that the animals that didn't photosynthesize, in fact did have acetylcholine. Then, a bit of a hunt outside with a net left them with one of the small bat-like creatures. Brenley fished it out of the net and held it gently in his fist.

"Shit. I don't wanna do this."

"Same. Don't really know what else to do though."

He let out a long sigh then started back down the tunnel. Nadia followed him, hoisting the net over her shoulder. They got to the lab and Brenley held the bat down and took out an eyedropper of the VX.

"Oh I'm sorry little guy. I'm sorry." He dripped the liquid onto him, grimacing. "I'm sorry." It was only a few seconds before the bat began to convulse, chirping pitifully as it's limbs twitched. Brenley's face fell. "Shit. I'm so sorry."

Nadia grimaced. "Aw put him out of his misery. This is terrible."

"How? I can't just, smoosh him."

Nadia grabbed a glove and put it on before picking the bat up and hurling it at the wall as hard as she could. It hit with a sickening thump and fell to the floor.

Brenley stared. "Fucking hell."

"My friend volunteered at the zoo. They did that to chicks before feeding them to the eagles."

"I mean… it's quick."

"Yeah. Sure isn't fun doing it." She walked over and picked the now limp bat up. "Well, now we know it works. Sorry little guy." She cradled the body, looking at it. It's double pairs of wings had delicate bones along them, no thicker than a toothpick. It looked so fragile. She pushed one of the wings open with her thumb.

Brenley walked over and looked at him over her shoulder. "Here, I can go bring him outside." He held his hand out and Nadia gently deposited the bat into it.

"Good job Brens."

"Thanks. I suppose." He stared down at the bat for a second before turning to leave. "Thanks for helping."

* * *

That night, they all sat around the dinner table, playing a bizarre game of truth or dare. They had just finished another bout of dungeons and dragons wherein Krupin again desperately tried to kill off Nadias character and was unsuccessful because apparently Bijin Franklin rolled like a boss and somehow managed to scrape by with her life every time. But they decided to stop at a rather convenient point in the story and started on a shitty game of truth or dare. Nadia low key hated that her professor and the CEO of one of the biggest companies out there now knew such stuff about her like the fact that she owned a vibrator and had in fact brought it with her to the planet. There was some solace in the fact that she now knew her fair share of weird stuff about them as well, like how when Brenley lost his virginity he finished in about two minutes which Krupin liked to relentlessly mock. Or how Krupin had been kissed by a girl in high school and panicked and practically bolted in the other direction.

Brenley was a bit out of breath after following Nadia's dare and doing a surprisingly good dance around the kitchen to 'Everytime We Touch' which included him basically giving Krupin a lap dance. Now though, it had just devolved into asking weird questions and going around the circle so everyone answered the same one.

Brenley spread his hands out, raising his eyebrows. "Okay, weirdest shag."

Nadia chuckled. "Are you british?"

"Can you think of an american term with the same connotations?"

"No.."

"So. Weirdest shag. Feliks, you first."

"Why me?"

"Because you're to my right."

"Like weirdest person or weirdest experience?"

"Either."

Krupin glanced to the side, as if musing, tapping his fingers on the table to again hide the constant trembling. "I feel like it's kinda shitty to out him…"

"Man we're in a hostage situation." Brenley said. "Also we're all gay. I mean, except for James, who is an honorary gay."

James chuckled. "Thank you."

"Fine," Krupin said. "As long as you all don't tell anyone." He took a deep breath. "David Brochant."

There was a rather shocked silence before Brenley asked, "The BBC guy?"

"Yup."

"The dude with the single most posh accent in the world?" James said, grinning.

"Yup."

Brenley laughed and went into a caricature of a british accent. " _I'm David Brochant and this is BBC world news._ Did he actually have that accent?"

"I mean, he has a relatively upper class british accent but apparently the BBC makes them sound like, super posh."

"Okay but if he actually had that accent," James said. " _I'm David Brochant, I sound like fucking Draco Malfoy."_

Brenley grinned. " _I'm David Brochant, I like to fuck men in the ass."_

They all laughed and Krupin shook his head, grinning. "Don't be mean!"

Nadia joined in. " _I'm David Brochant, I sound like a posh old british lady when I orgasm."_

They all laughed again and Krupin smirked. " _I'm David Brochant, I wear a jockstrap under my nice armani suit."_

There was some shocked laughter. "Does he really?" James asked.

"Uh, yes. Or at least he did when I fuckin peeled that shit off."

Brenley gave him a fake glare. "Do I need to hear about your fuckin sexual exploits with Mr. Posh McEnglish-breakfast-tea?

"You asked!"

"Mm. Anyways, Nadia?"

She frowned, looking to the side. "I don't know about weirdest  _experience_ but I did date a guy for a few months… Only Brenley would get who it is."

Brenley frowned. "Who?"

"Uh…" She grimaced. "Jack O'Neill."

He burst out laughing. "Oh fuck really?"

"Who is that?" Krupin asked, glancing between them.

"A dude who got 'asked to leave' because he punched a professor." Brenley said, grinning. "I mean to be fair, a kinda dickish professor but still. Were you dating him when that happened?"

"Yeah… I was."

"Goddamn waters!"

"Yeah that was kind of my rebel phase. I did… a lotta weed."

James raised his eyebrows. "Really?"

"Yup."

"You do not seem the type of person to have a weed phase." James said.

"Doesn't everybody in college?"

Brenley and Krupin gave grudging shrugs while James just shook his head. "No… I've never even tried it."

"What? Really?"

"Nope. Not once."

"Well if you want to try it when we get back," Brenley said, grinning, "I'm sure my boy here has a fuckin stash." He slapped Krupin's shoulder who was beginning to look a bit sheepish.

"Maybe…"

"I mean, this fucker sold it in college so.."

"You did?" Nadia said.

"I needed money! So yeah, I was a weedman. Thing is Brindley is full of rich white kids who will pay twenty for a gram."

"Okay even I know that's spendy."

"They didn't though." He rubbed his forefingers together. "What can I say. I'm an entrepreneur."

"Could you make weed with a Krupin machine?"

He took a deep breath. "Well, let's just say there's a reason I don't have a weed guy. Don't really need that ever coming out."

"So you just make it."

"Possibly."

"Anyways," Nadia said. "James. Your turn."

"I don't think I have a weird experience. Or really, dated anyone weird."

"Aw c'mon. You must have  _one_ weird experience!"

He shrugged. "I don't. I mean, I bruised my head on the headboard once, that's about it."

"Pff," Krupin said, waving his hand dismissively. "Boring."

"I know! I just, haven't had any super stand out weird things happen to me."

"Okay boring-face," Nadia said. "We'll move on. Brenley? You have to have had something weird happen to you."

He shrugged as well. "I'm kinda in the same boat as James, haven't really had any weird experiences."

Krupin chuckled. "Oh yes you have."

Brenley frowned at him, confused.

"You know… bathroom… shower…"

Realization dawned on Brenley's face. "Oh god damnit. Don't make me say that Feliks."

"That's gotta be the weirdest experience. You have to say it Elias, it's the rules." His eyes twinkled as he grinned a bit wickedly.

Nadia grinned as well. "You have to say it!"

"Oh for fucks sake." He buried his face in his hands. "I don't want to."

The other three urged him on to the point of shoving his slightly before he relented. "Fine! I'll say it! Fuck you Feliks."

Krupin chuckled. "You brought this on yourself."

"I can't help it!"

"Jesus just get it over with." Nadia said. "You're killing me and James here."

He buried his face in his hands again, mumbling through them. "I tried to deepthroat and threw up."

"There it is!" Krupin said, laughing.

James and Nadia cracked up as Brenley chuckled a bit, his face coloring.

"Goddamn." Nadia said, "I really didn't need to know that about my professor but i'm so glad I do."

"I hate this game."

James grinned at Krupin. "That happen with you?"

"Yup."

"Just to be clear." Brenley said, spreading his hands out, his face was still red. "I didn't like, throw up  _on_ him. I got to the toilet."

"What kind of gay man can't suck dick?" Nadia said, laughing.

"The kind who gags when a doctor uses one of those tongue things! I got a shit gag reflex! If something other than food goes more than an inch into my mouth this bitch is barfing."

"I dunno…" Krupin said. "Maybe my dick is just that big."

"Bitch you got a fuckin pushpin."

Nadia and James cracked up as Krupin glared hyperbolically at Brenley. " _Maybe!_  but I don't need that fact aired!"

"You asked for it! Braggin' about the size of your kidney bean n' shit."

Nadia and James were almost crying in laughter watching Krupin get roasted.

"You're my boyfriend! Stop dragging me!"

"All the more reason to drag you."

"Fucker I have dirt on you I can and will bring up."

Brenley fell silent for a few seconds. Then he spoke up, "Alright! Next question!" The others laughed and he shook his head, patting Krupin's shoulder. "I'm sorry babe. I love you, for all your tininess."

"Again, dirt."

They continued playing until late at night. Nadia was fairly sure she now knew most of the embarrassing things there were to know about the other three. Which was good because everything embarrassing she had ever done was pretty much public knowledge now. When they finally did go to bed, James went with her. They didn't really do anything, just slept, but Nadia liked it almost as much. It was nice just having someone to be close with.

* * *

When Brenley walked into the lab the next morning, a pellet filled with water smashed into his shirt and exploded. He took a step back in surprise. "Ow!"

Nadia grinned. "Hah! Got you back."

"What is that?"

"Uh, basically a paintball gun."

He walked over. "Can I see it?"

"Yeah." She handed it to him and he turned it over in his hands.

"Is it semi automatic?"

"Yup! Annoying to make but it'll be a hell of a lot faster."

He put it up to his shoulder and fired at the wall. There was a crack as a pellet splattered against the wall. He fired again before lowering it and grinning. "Nice job Waters."

She smiled. "Thanks."

"How does it work?"

"Well it uses gas to fire of course. The trigger releases the valve. But in order to make it self reloading there's a little wedge thing that slides forward when you pull the trigger and stops the rest of the pellets from being pushed into the chamber while you fire. There's a spring that pushes down on the line of pellets so that they're not just relying on gravity."

"And let me guess, these pellets are going to be filled with some hellish thing."

"I mean, we have 12 molar HCl."

He laughed, "Good lord Satan."

"I mean it won't kill anyone, but they'll be a lot less likely to fire at us if their face is melting."

"Again, Satan."

"Yup. So what about your other thing? What is that?"

He walked over to the table and grabbed his prototype off it. "A grenade. It's filled with RDX, the main ingredient in C4. Then, when you pull the pin, there's a mechanism that involves a spring that ticks down for five seconds, then using some sulfur a small explosion is made which sets of the RDX. The shell of the grenade is designed to fracture into a bunch of little plastic shards."

"Wow… that's pretty cool. Also, I was thinking, would it be helpful to make a flamethrower."

"A flamethrower?"

"Ye. You brought one into class before, remember?"

"Yeah because I got chewed out to kingdom come. But the thing is those require a  _lot_ of gasoline or whatever you're using as an ignition liquid. It would be hard to cart around."

"What if we put one on the chest area of a banshee. They can carry probably a good 200 pounds plus a person."

He glanced to the side, scratching his beard. "That… could work."

"Yeah."

"Okay. Lemme finish making some explosives. Might also make VX 'grenades' because there's a way of making it by combining two things together, it would be a gas thing so we'd have to throw it far away but it still would work. If you're done with your little hellish pea shooter, then maybe you could start designing a flamethrower. Once I'm done I can help."

"Sounds good."

Towards the end of the day, the door opened and Krupin walked in. "Ellie!"

Brenley looked up. "Hm?"

"Look!" He pulled out what looked like a dark sheet of cloth, a grin across his face. "We made a sheet of graphene."

"Holy shit.." Brenley stood back from the table and walked over, feeling it between his fingers. "This is awesome! Good job!"

"Hey you're the one who figured out how to make it." He grinned and leaned forward, kissing his cheek. "I love my genius boyfriend."

Brenley smiled, blushing. "Stop."

Nadia walked over. "Can I see that?"

"Yeah."

She turned it over in her hands, feeling the bizarre texture. It felt almost metallic but flowed like silk. "What the hell this is so weird."

"Right?" Krupin pointed at it. "That probably took a good day to make. Just that small bit. So I'd say that making everything will take awhile. It'll be worth it though. Also we should probably test it, make sure it stops bullets."

"How? Just shoot it?"

"We'd have to have something behind it though. I mean, it's different if it's just air behind it verse a person."

"So we get someone to volunteer to get shot behind this…"

"Basically. Not you though. You should be the one shooting, you're the best shot. But, we should tell Heidi."

It took a few minutes to find Heidi, along the way they picked up James as he happened to be in the commons and decided to come with them. When they found her, she was having dinner with Scott in a corner of the commons. The two of them had become pretty good friends and stuck together quite often. Krupin explained what was going on and Scott reached out with his hand, covering his mouth with his other as he still had food in his mouth. "Can I see this?"

"Yeah."

Scott felt it, poking his thumbs into it and testing the elasticity. "I'm sure it can stop a bullet, if this really is graphene, the biggest concern would be the bullet just going far enough in to cause damage even if it doesn't break this. It's pretty thin, if you think about kevlar, it's thick and quite stiff."

Brenley leaned over to Nadia and whispered, " _That's what she said."_

She gave him a look. "Really?"

He snickered.

Scott meanwhile was still going on. "So I'd say that you'd have to wear something underneath, padding and whatnot. Padding that's dense enough to take most of the force. Maybe… neoprene? It's quite warm but if we're going to be outside anyways."

"Okay," Krupin said. "So padding. Then I was thinking we could test it? We don't want to find out later that it doesn't work. Maybe someone could put this bit on, then we could uh, shoot it. Specifically Nadia could shoot it."

"Who would volunteer to do that?"

James shrugged his shoulders. "I can do it."

Nadia looked at him. "Really?"

"Yeah." He chuckled. "I'm a bigger target anyways."

Scott crossed his arms. "There is a chance it could fail. Or Nadia could miss. Volunteering for this means you are accepting you could get shot."

"I can just go behind a rock or something and stick my leg out. That way, if Nadia does miss she just hits my leg, not anything super important."

Nadia glanced at him. "I'll uh, I'll try not to miss though."

That's how they ended up on one of the more distant peaks with Nadia squinting down the sights of a rifle at James' leg as he stuck it out from behind a cliff face. It wasn't really a situation she ever thought she would be in and James had been joking that it would be the first time getting shot by someone he was dating.

She grimaced and adjusted her grip. "Eeeh I don't want to do it."

James' voice was slightly muffled behind the rocks. "Do it. You're killing me with suspense here."

"Okay… I'll countdown. Three, two, one." She squeezed the trigger, grimacing. The shot rang out and James yelped.

"Fuck!"

"Are you alright?"

He stumbled slightly out from behind the cliff face. "I think I'm good. It just hurts like a motherfucker." He grimaced and grabbed his leg. " _Fuck._ Ow ow ow." His breath hissed through his teeth and he unwrapped the armor, looking at his leg. "Yeah, my pants didn't even get a tiny rip."

Brenley grinned. "So it works?!"

"I mean, yeah. It aint gonna kill you. Just hurts like hell."

Nadia walked over to him. "You good? Sorry about that."

"Yeah, I'm fine. And- I mean I volunteered." He chuckled. "Starting to regret that now." He glanced at Scott. "That did hit me pretty hard though. If it hit me in the stomach it wouldn't do any organ damage would it?"

"Um probably not. Organs are pretty resistant so long as they don't get actually ruptured. I mean, can you still walk fine?"

James took a few test steps. "Yeah. Yeah I can walk fine."

"It's probably good then. We can just add a bit more padding."

Going back to the main peak, James had a bit of a limp. Nadia frowned at him as they walked down the tunnel. "Are you sure you're okay?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I'm good."

"Have you looked at it yet?"

"No Nat, I have not pulled my pants down in the snow." He had started recently calling her 'Nat' and she kind of liked it.

"Okay well maybe I didn't quite think that through…"

He laughed. "Yeah." They stayed silent for a couple seconds then he glanced at her. "Maybe you could stay at mine tonight? Bigger bed. You won't end up squashed into the wall."

"Well, not being squashed into a wall sounds pretty good."

They got back inside and they did the procedure of stowing the jackets in the room that the tunnel opened up into. The pants were a bit harder as taking them off would leave them walking through the commons with just long underwear, luckily the pants weren't too bulky though and didn't look that out of place. They usually left one or two at a time and this time, Nadia and James were last. After it was just them left, Nadia gestured at his leg.

"Can I see?"

"Um, yeah." He unbuttoned his pants and pulled them down to his thighs. Nadia grimaced and hissed through her teeth.

" _Ooooh._ Goddamn I'm sorry about that."

The bruise was probably about a handspan in size. There was a ring in the center where the actual bullet had hit and angry red marks extended from it in a circle. He raised his eyebrows. "Okay. So that looks… bad."

"That's one way to say it."

He gently prodded it. "Ow."

She pulled her phone out and checked the time. "Okay, I think we can go now. Put your pants back on weirdo."

"You asked me to drop them!"

"Mm."

He pulled his pants back up and they walked out, glancing around to see if anyone could see them. They didn't see anyone, but from around the corner, a GIRA member watched with a single blue-grey eye. A couple minutes after they left, he made his way over to the door and waited until none of the hostages were watching before quietly slipping behind it.

Back at the rooms, Brenley was sitting at the kitchen table as Krupin stood at the counter. He glanced around, then turned to Krupin with a sly grin on his face and let out a loud whistle.

"Wooh! That ass looks fine today!"

Krupin let out a laugh and turned his head to look at him. "What?"

Brenley grinned and stood up, walking over to him. "Nadia's not here. Which means I can make all sorts of weird comments. Like how your ass looks amazing today."

"Same ass as yesterday."

"Well it's always amazing then. Also those pants hun, they're really amplifying the experience." He walked up and wrapped his arms around him from behind, pressing up into him. "Can't wait until we have our own place and everything."

Krupin went to turn around and Brenley stopped him. "Ah ah ah. I like this position."

That made Krupin chuckle. "Well if I turn around, I can actually talk to you, and you can grab it."

There was a short pause. "Okay turn."

"There we go." He turned and grinned, putting his hand on Brenley's chest. "I can't wait 'til we have our own place as well."

"How's it gonna work? I mean, you're so famous.. You'd never need to share a house for any other reason. Also we have to think about…"

"Your kid?"

"Well, yeah."

"We'll figure something out. If it means us living together and everyone lowkey knows we're together but can't actually  _prove_ it then so be it."

"You'd be willing to do that? I mean, it sounds risky."

"We don't have much of a choice. And yeah if it means being with you then I'm willing to take that risk. And as far as Ava goes… I'm good with her and Sofia living with us. It'll be a bit of a weird republican's nightmare of a house but that's the goal really."

"Really? You'd be fine with that?"

"Yeah."

Brenley bent down and kissed him. He broke for a second and smiled. "You're the best goddamn boyfriend."

Krupin chuckled. "I am pretty amazing. If you overlook my rampant alcoholism and depression."

"Eh. Those are just little details."

"Yeah. Hey, I'm excited to meet Ava now."

"I think she'll like you. She has pretty low standards."

"Wow thanks."

Brenley laughed. "No it's just that, people tend to, ignore her signals, about not touching or whatever. We only got one data point but it seems like you're pretty good at generally understanding autistic people. So I think she'll like you. Because  _trust_ me. Being around someone who understands is equivalent to crack, because you're unfortunately so goddamn rare."

"I think you're easy to understand."

"You and no one else." He kissed his forehead then pulled back, grinning. "Hey, wanna watch a movie and make out."

"What are we, horny sixteen year olds?"

"Yes."

"Great. Which movie?"

"Um. Town called panic?"

"Doesn't your version not have subtitles?"

"Well no. Another reason to learn french." Krupin opened his mouth to protest and Brenley held his finger up, stopping him from speaking. "Bah-bah-bah. Anyways we won't really be paying attention to the plot. Plus it's very visual."

"Alright sure."

"Perfect." He grabbed his laptop and set it up on the coffee table in front of the couch then sat back. As the movie started, Krupin leaned his head on his shoulder and Brenley bent his head to kiss him. As they broke, Krupin glanced down.

"Could we maybe just stay like this for a bit? Make out once we're into the movie?"

"Sure. If you wanna just, I dunno, cuddle for the whole time I'm good with that too."

"I am fairly sure that is the very first time that word has come out of your mouth."

"What other word is there? 'Sit very close'?"

Krupin laughed. "I'm messing with you. But yeah, maybe we could."

"Alright." He buried his face in Krupin's hair and breathed in deeply through his nose. "I'm glad you're feeling good today."

"Mm."

"You are feeling, good right?"

"I… I dunno about good. Not bad would be more, apt."

"Well, better than before."

"I suppose. Sorry, what just happened?"

"Um, they just realized it's the horse's birthday."

"Right."

As they watched, Krupin would ask Brenley what was going on every once in awhile but for the most part they just watched it in silence. About three quarters of the way through, Krupin fell asleep on Brenley's shoulder. Brenley stayed in that position for long after the movie ended, it was the first time Krupin seemed to be sleeping soundly and he didn't want to disturb that. He did eventually have to wake him up so they could go to bed, but it killed him to do it, he knew that this was the first time he had slept without waking up from a nightmare in a long time.


	14. Chapter 14

**Beginning of June**

Nadia stared into the mirror as she slipped her bra on and scrubbed her hair with the towel. She set the towel down and sighed, looking at herself. She had always vaguely hated her body. Her thighs were too big but in a way that didn't give her curves, and her stomach had a good amount of fat. Her face fell slightly as she prodded her stomach. There was a knock on the door and she called over her shoulder, "Unless it's James don't come in."

"It is me."

"Alright, come in then."

James poked his head through the door. "Hey do you have-" He saw her face. "You okay?"

"Uh, yeah. I'm fine."

He glanced between her and the mirror, picking up on what was happening. Walking in, he wrapped his arms around her shoulders and kissed the side of her head. "You're perfect you know that?"

She smiled. "Stop it."

"I'm serious." One hand moved to loop her waist and she shied away ever so slightly, not enough for him to notice at all. "I love your body. And everything else about you."

Nadia chuckled and placed one of her fingers on a stretch mark by her hip. "Yeah son these stretch marks sure are sexy."

"Nat I don't think I've seen a real woman without stretch marks."

"Real woman? What are there, fake women?"

"I mean like photoshop and stuff!"

"Oh. Boy I thought you were talking about the stepford wives or something."

"The  _stepford wives._  Christ how old is that reference?"

"You got it!"

"Still though." There was a pause and he noted her kind of quiet attitude. "You okay?"

"Yeah. Just, shitty day."

"Oh. I'm sorry."

"I can just  _tell_ I'm gonna get my period soon. I'm getting like, pre cramps. And I know i'm in for a shitty week where I can barely walk."

"I'm sorry. If you need anything from me then, y'know."

"Mm. What was it you wanted? You said 'do you have' but you never finished your sentence."

"Oh yeah. Do you have any idea where my sweater went. The galaxy one."

"Oh… I feel like I saw it… I think it was on the couch."

"Alright. Thanks."

He turned to leave and she glanced at him. "I'll be out in a second."

"Yup okay."

As the door closed, Nadia stared back into the mirror, her thoughts clouding her brain. The past few weeks had been fun, and she had never felt so fulfilled in a relationship but she still felt like something was missing. And she has no idea what. On paper James was everything she wanted. He was nice, funny, smart, and didn't make a face if she said the word 'tampon'. That, she had found, was generally a good indicator for whether or not a man actually respected women. And he did, he respected her. But, for some reason what she had felt before about him had dissipated. It was just, gone. She still cared about him, but for reasons she couldn't nail down she barely had any romantic feelings for him, let alone  _love._  And now, she didn't know what to do about it. This had happened before with other guys, though to be fair it was usually because she realized they were kind of assholes. This time, it was just a mystery.

She let out another sigh and ran her hands through her hair before glancing around and grabbing her shirt off the top of the toilet cover and slipping it on. After struggling a bit with her pants due to her feet still being a bit wet, she walked out into the kitchen.

Usually Krupin would be up by now so it was weird that it was only James sitting at the table. She was halfway through a bowl of cereal when there was a noise and she glanced up to see Brenley and Krupin walk out of their room. Brenley's hand was lightly touching Krupin's lower back in a way of subtly guiding him into the kitchen. Krupin looked beaten down. GIRA had finished with another session yesterday and there was a cut on his forehead along with a multitude of other bruises.

Nadia had no idea how much maintenance he had been putting into his appearance normally until now, when it was obviously he wasn't doing it. His beard was drier and scraggly and under his chin and neck where it was normally clean shaven, a good shadow was growing in. His hair was also flat and unstyled and his clothes were wrinkly and haphazard. Brenley pulled out a chair for him and he sat heavily down, staring into the counter.

"I can make eggs. How's that sound?" Brenley said, leaning against the counter and looking at him.

"Okay."

"Okay. Scrambled?"

"I don't care."

Breney let out a breath, looking deflated. "I'll do scrambled eggs and cheese. You always like that."

"Okay." His voice was basically emotionless. Nadia could see him fiddling with a fork on the table, trying to hide the ever present trembling in his hands. He looked down, hunching his shoulders slightly. It was awkwardly silent and nobody really knew what to say. Eventually, Krupin turned his head slightly. "Hey, do you guys want to have another dungeons and dragons session tonight? I need some fuckin' way to get my mind off shit."

James glanced at Nadia. "I'm up for it."

"Same," Nadia said.

Brenley nodded as he started grating cheese into the bowl of eggs he was preparing. "Yeah that sounds good."

It wasn't long before there was a knock on the door and Heidi walked in. She pointed back at the door with her thumb. "I'm really sorry but that GIRA guy is looking for everyone. Wants us all to go out there.

Krupin shook his head, rubbing his hand over his mouth. Eventually he turned violently. "For  _fucks_  sake."

Brenley let out a breath and leaned against the counter. "I'm sure if they're asking for everybody, they won't do anything with you."

"I doubt it. Fucker likes to keep kicking me while I'm down." He stood up and grabbed his napkin off the table, throwing it violently at the ground as he turned. "Fuck it. He's gonna do something shitty if I don't show up."

As he passed Heidi, she gave him a pitying look. "I'm really sorry Feliks."

He just shook his head.

In the commons, everyone gathered around in a circle around John and some of the GIRA members who stood in the middle. John glanced around, resting his hand on his holster.

"So. Apparently the government doesn't want to pay for you lot, which would put an end to all this, but I guess not." When he said that, he gave Krupin a pointed look. "So, I guess we're gonna have to up the ante. And I feel like a way to do that is… to kill one of you."

As he flicked the button on his holster and took the gun out, and the room went infinitely quiet. Nadia's blood slammed in her ears. His eyes scanned around the nervous scientists before landing on Nadia. Her heart skipped a beat as he raised his gun towards her. "You look young. They'll get mad about you." Her breath froze in her throat. The barrel opening became a full circle. She realized this was the only situation she'd ever see a gun barrel as a circle rather than an oval. His grey eyes squinted down the sights at her face. They were impersonal, like buttons. She barely heard Brenley and James shout. There was movement off to her left as Krupin quickly went to step in front of her. John's voice stopped him.

"Move another inch and you lose a finger."

Krupin paused, looking at him before locking his jaw and standing in front of her, protecting her. He stared John in the eyes, glaring. Nadia could see his hands shook slightly as he clenched them into fists. "You want to shoot her you have to shoot me. And you'd never do that."

John shrugged. "You realize this doesn't actually save anyone right?" He moved his gun a few inches to the right and shot James.

The woman next to him screamed and took a few rapid steps away. Nadia took in a sharp breath. He didn't get blown backwards like she expected him to, he just crumpled. His knees buckled and his body slammed into the floor. Blood oozed from the bullet hole in his forehead. There were a few shocked yells. Nadia felt numb, she stood still, staring at his body. Across the room a GIRA member shifted his hold on a phone, presumably he was filming the entire thing. She couldn't comprehend what happened, she took a step towards his body. Time slowed. There was a slight pressure on her shoulder as someone grabbed it. She glanced over to see Brenley holding her arm.

"Don't…"

"He's- he's dead."

"I know, but you're not. Stay here."

In front of her, Krupin just stood, every muscle in his body tense. A few flecks of blood patterned his cheek and shoulder. In the back of her mind she knew she had blood on her as well. The muscles in Krupin's jaw stood out like ropes as John lowered his gun.

"Happy now?"

Krupin's voice shook slightly. "Fuck you."

John stepped up to him, lowering his voice. "Put your hand on the table."

Krupin swallowed and walked over to a table, placing his left hand flat on the metal surface. He glared. "Do it you fucking coward."

There was a stunned silence. John slowly approached him, taking out a long bowie hunting knife from a case on his hip. Krupin shifted, squaring his shoulders.

"I said do it."

Nadia was barely listening as she stared at James and the growing pool of blood. His eyes stared blankly up and a line of red traced it's way over the bridge of his nose then down his cheek. John placed the edge of the knife on Krupin's pinky joint, where the finger connected to the palm. He put the meat of his hand on the blunt edge, pressing the metal down onto the skin. He glanced up at Krupin.

"You shouldn't have done that."

He raised his hand slightly and slammed it down on the blunt edge. Krupin screamed. There was a spurt of blood as the knife went part way through the finger. John slammed the knife again and it completely disconnected. Blood pulsed out of the stump, dark and viscous. Krupin gripped it with his other hand, falling to his knees. It oozed through his fingers, dripping down his arm onto the floor. He squinted tears of pain out of his eyes, they ran down his face, mirroring the red drops on his arms. John grabbed the scruff of Krupin's shirt and bent down, looking into his screwed up face.

"Next time you do something stupid like talking back or not doing what I say, you're gonna lose a lot more than a finger. Comprende?"

Krupin nodded silently, a vein stood out in his temple. John shoved him to the floor. Nadia didn't know where to focus her attention, on Krupin, immobilized in pain, or James. Not James, James' body. Two GIRA members walked forward and grabbed his limbs, attempting to carry him. One of them nodded at another member standing close.

"Hey. Help carry this fatass."

Something inside Nadia snapped. She stepped forward, glaring. "FUCK YOU! YOU FUCKING SHITHEADS. HE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING."

"Fuck." Brenley said under his breath. He tore his eyes away from Krupin and rushed over to her, grabbing her arm again. "Nadia. Shut up."

"YOU KILLED HIM. HE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING."

One of the members waved his handgun at her, speaking to Brenley. "If you don't shut her up I'm shooting her."

"Wait!" He turned to face her, placing himself between her and the gun.

Her voice was strained. "Move Brenley! They fucking killed him!"

"They're going to kill you if you keep talking!" He stepped closer to her, looking into her eyes. "I swear to god Waters if you get yourself killed I'd never forgive myself. Don't do this."

She let out a shaky breath and nodded silently. Brenley looked back over his shoulder at the GIRA men. "Don't shoot."

"Fine." He lowered his gun and waved his hand at James' body. "Get him out of here." Three men bent and picked him up, half carrying, half dragging him out the door. As they left, Krupin tried to struggle to his feet. He got halfway up before he went limp, slouching onto the floor, his eyes closing as he passed out. Brenley glanced at Nadia before running over and grabbing his shoulder,

"Feliks! Fil wake up."

Krupin's lips were pale and he was unresponsive. Scott started frantically applying gauze to the heavily bleeding stump. After a few seconds that seemed like minutes, Krupin opened his eyes. He yelled again, every muscle in his body tensing as he struggled on the floor.

It took Scott a scarily long time to stop the bleeding. He had to apply local anaesthetic and stitch a flap of skin over the stump. Krupin screamed through his teeth the entire time, every vein and ligament standing out in his neck. He lost his voice fairly quickly and simply made high breathy sounds, his face red. Nadia followed Brenley around but that was the extent of her actions. She stood numb and void as the chaos swirled around her. Time crawled by.

After Krupin had his hand heavily bandaged he passed out from exhaustion. Brenley sat on the couch near the bed, his chin in his hands. He looked up as Nadia sat next to him. His voice was soft.

"Are you alright?"

She glanced at him with slow eyes. "...No."

He let out a long breath before putting his arm across her shoulders. She leaned her head onto it as he stared ahead at Krupin. His voice seemed to come from miles away. "It'll be okay."

She couldn't find the energy to tell him, no, it wouldn't be okay.

After a while her eyes began to droop and she dropped off, still leaning against his shoulder. Brenley sat in his thoughts for almost two hours, not moving.

Eventually he got up. He gently detached his arm and scooted over, laying Nadia down. Once she was on the couch he stood up, took a blanket from a stack on a chair and spread it over her. Nadia shifted slightly in her sleep and grabbed the blanket, pulling it up to her neck. He glanced at the door before getting up onto Krupin's bed and stretching out next to him. Krupin slowly opened his eyes and they slid over to look at him. He spoke groggily. His voice was still raspy from his pained yells.

"Hey Ellie.."

"Hey. How are you feeling?"

"Well, the uh, drugs are kicking in so it just kind of throbs." He raised his hand and looked at the bandaged stump. "At least they got my left hand."

"And your left pinkie at that."

Krupin lowered his hand and paused. "We'll, get off this planet, right?"

"Yeah. Yeah we'll get off this planet." He turned over and placed his arm over Krupin's stomach. Krupin shifted away slightly.

"Ellie, the door. If someone comes in you won't be able to move in time."

Brenley pressed his forehead into the side of Krupin's face. "I know. And I don't care."

Krupin turned his head to look at him. They stared at each other for a second.

"I like your eyes."

Brenley smiled slightly. "What?"

"Well you talk about liking mine. But yours are big and brown. I like them."

"You're on drugs."

"Well… yes. But I still like them. They're like, chocolate. Melted chocolate."

Brenley chuckled. "Just a tiny bit racist."

"I'm on drugs. I can't think of any other descriptors." He glanced away. "Lemme come back to that." He stared at the ceiling for a few seconds. "Lignum Vitae wood."

Brenley laughed. "Great, so you think of something and it's a thing I've never heard of."

"It's a dark wood. Or at least the stuff I've seen is dark." He glanced to the side. "Someone gave me a chess set made out of it. Apparently it's spendy as far as wood goes." He looked over to Nadia's sleeping form on the couch. "Is she okay?"

"I don't know. I mean her and James were pretty close. So, I don't know."

"I should have done something.."

"You couldn't have done anything Fil."

"You don't know that."

"I do. There's, there's nothing you could have done. Don't blame yourself."

There was a silence before Krupin let out a long breath. "She's going to hate me isn't she."

"You saved her life."

"But, if someone saved my life and in consequence, you got killed?" He shook his head. "I would fucking hate them."

There was a pause and Brenley sighed. "I don't know what the fuck to do. I'm terrible with shit like this Fil. I was shitty when Teresa died and I'm shitty now."

"I don't think anybody is good with shit like this." He looked back up at the ceiling. "Fuck I can't get the image out of my head."

"Same."

"God and he was such a nice guy."

"Yeah."

There was a pause before Krupin glanced at him. "Do you feel sad?"

"...No."

"Have you ever felt sad about someone dying?"

"Hardy died three years ago. I didn't feel sad. If I didn't feel sad about him I don't know if i ever can about anybody."

"What do you feel then?"

"If anything, disappointed."

"Would you feel sad if I died?"

Brenley stared at him for a second. "I don't think you want to know the answer to that."

Krupin nodded slowly. "Okay."

"But, it doesn't change the fact that i love you like hell."

"I- I think I'm okay with that."

There was a long pause as they both thought about what happened, neither of them really wanting to acknowledge it. Eventually, Krupin sighed. "He helped me a lot, James."

"Yeah."

"I… I told him about my troubles with alcohol before I told you. He… helped me get the strength up to tell you. And then when I relapsed, he helped me." He trailed off and shook his head. "He didn't deserve that. No one deserves that. I just feel really shitty about it. I know I couldn't have done anything but… but I still feel like I could."

Brenley didn't know what to say. He shifted closer and rested his head on Krupin's shoulder. Krupin rubbed his thumb over the arm that draped over him.

"I don't ever want to lose you Ellie."

"And I don't want to lose you."

Krupin pressed his mouth to Brenley's forehead, breathing in through his nose and exhaling slowly. So they lay in silence. For ages. They knew each other well enough to know when saying nothing said the most. And right now, saying nothing meant that no matter what, they'd be there, they'd help each other through it all. Even if they didn't quite know how.

* * *

Nadia eventually woke. It took her a second, and seeing Krupin's hand again, for everything to come crashing back to her. James was  _dead_. She wanted to just take the blanket and crawl under it and never have to face the world again. For some reason, she just felt numb. Not even sad, just numb, like everything was shrouded in a thick fog. In the back of her mind she had a sort of detached curiosity for why she wasn't feeling sad. She folded the blanket back and sat up, not knowing what to do. What did one even do in these situations? Movies and shows never showed what happened right after someone died, it was always just a jump cut to the funeral or something. Was she just supposed to sit there and cry? But, she couldn't cry, she couldn't even feel sad.

She didn't notice she had been sitting and staring at the wall for a good few minutes until Brenley's voice snapped her out of it. "You good there Waters? You've got a bit of a thousand mile stare on."

She glanced over at him, her eyes were slow to move. "I'm okay."

His face showed he didn't believe her. He stood up off the bed where he sat next to Krupin's sleeping form. "Here, let's go back to the rooms."

Her voice was hollow and emotionless. "What about Feliks."

"He's drugged out of his mind. I don't think I could wake him up if I tried."

"Hm."

"C'mon Waters, you can't just sit here all day."

She stared at him for a second, then slowly got to her feet.

"There you go."

As they walked towards the rooms, Nadia could feel people's eyes bore into her and she stared at the floor. There were still a few GIRA men around, including John Smith.

One of the men glanced at her, noticing her expression. He smiled and stood in front of them. "Aw, that fat guy we shot, was he your boyfriend?"

She didn't respond.

Brenley frowned. "She's been through enough, don't-"

The man interrupted him. "Shut the fuck up. And step back nigger, you shouldn't even be  _touching_ a white girl." He gestured vaguely at where Brenley had his hand on her arm.

Brenley glared and didn't move.

"I said step back." He moved his hand to where his gun was on his belt.

After a second, Brenley stepped away.

The man smiled at Nadia, who was standing stock still, still feeling like she was surrounded by fog. "He  _was_  your boyfriend, wasn't he. Well it's okay. Lots of guys would like to fuck a girl like you." He leaned forward and kissed her forcefully, his hand gripping uncomfortably low on her back. She could barely register what was happening, not at all aware how the people around her were reacting. Then she came to her senses. Her first instinct was to push away but she fought that, he would expect her to push away. Instead, she leaned forward slightly, feeling for his bottom lip with her teeth. Then she bit.

Blood filled her mouth as she ground her teeth together as hard as she could. The man let out a scream and pushed her away. She spat the blood into his face, feeling it drip down her chin and neck. He put his hand up to his face, horrified.

"WHAT THE FUCK!" His voice was slurred with his destroyed lip. "WHAT THE FUCK!"

As she saw the other GIRA members, she knew she was going to get shot for that. She saw dozens of guns aimed at her. John walked up behind the bleeding man and glared, slapping the back of his head.

"You fucking idiot!"

"She bit me!"

"No shit. What did you expect?!" He turned to Scott. "Get some people to patch him up."

Obviously the other members were not expecting this, they glanced at each other, lowering their guns a bit. He turned to Nadia, resting his hand on his holster. "You've got balls."

She didn't say anything, instead wiped her arm over her mouth, smearing the blood.

"You're more of a man than that idiot. We need people like you. All you need to know is how to follow orders." He unbuckled his holster and took his gun out, raising it to her. "So let's see how good you are. Say what I say." He paused. "Whites are inherently better."

She swallowed, her mouth still tasting metallic. "You just killed someone I really cared about and mutilated my friend, then your kiss-ass lackey shoved his gross tongue in my mouth and now you're pointing a gun at me and trying to make me say some racist bullshit. So go ahead and shoot me. I wouldn't mind it at this point."

There was a shocked silence that she would say something like that with a gun pointed at her face.

John smirked. "You know what? I kind of like you. You're like… a badger. You're just relentless."

"Great, I got the endorsement of someone who jacks off to Hitler's speeches."

He smiled and lowered his gun. "Lets see how relentless you are when we've killed enough of your friends." He glanced around at the others. "Alright. We're done here."

As they left, Brenley stared at Nadia with wide eyes. "Jesus christ he was right, you've got balls of steel."

She swallowed again. "I feel sick." Feeling a sharp tug in her stomach, she ran into the bathroom and threw up. It didn't take long for what just happened to fully hit her. She stifled a sob, feeling broken and violated.

She sat next to the toilet, crying, just wanting everything to stop. Eventually she heard a voice from outside the door.

"Nadia?" She recognized it as Brenley. "Are you okay?"

She wiped her eyes. "Go away Brenley."

"Nadia… I'm really sorry."

"I said go away." She pounded her fist slightly on the toilet seat, bending her head down. " _I don't ever see a man again._ " She said it quietly but Brenley seemed to get the message to go away. She heard his steps receding. He also seemed to have heard her last sentiment as after a few minutes of lonely crying there was a soft knock on the door.

"Nadia? It's Mae. Can I come in?"

"...Yeah."

The door opened and she slowly walked in. "Brenley told me to come here. He's worried about you. Are you okay?"

Nadia glanced at her. "Why did he do that. Why did that guy... why did he do that."

"I don't know." She walked over and sat next to her. "Some guys are just… really shitty."

"Brenley heard me say I didn't ever want to see a man again. I think that's why he sent you. He probably thinks I'm, overreacting or something."

"He didn't seem that way. He just seemed worried."

"Am I overreacting? I- I honestly don't want to see a man any time soon."

"You're not."

"How do you know."

Mae glanced down at her hands. "I almost got… raped by a guy. Almost."

"Fuck... I'm so sorry."

"It's okay. Long time ago. Anyways, I still sometimes get nervous being around guys. Especially if we're alone somewhere. And especially if I'm alone with a gay guy because the guy who tried to do that was gay. And Brenley and Feliks, they're super nice, and I know they'd never do anything like that. Especially after Brenley came and got me when you said you didn't want to see him. But, I still get kind of uneasy if I'm with one of them alone." She trailed off and sighed. "Long story short, you aren't overreacting."

"I'm really sorry that happened to you."

"I felt like I was overreacting for ages because… nothing actually happened. So, you're not alone in thinking that. And if you're not alone, it probably isn't true."

Nadia nodded very slightly, staring off into the distance. She glanced at Mae, "Thanks, honestly."

"Nadia I'm so sorry about what happened to James. He was, he was a good friend of mine. And that shouldn't have happened."

"I uh, I don't think it's really hit me yet. That he's gone. I havent even cried yet." She reached up and wiped the tears from her cheeks. "This is about what that fucker just did. Not about James. I know I should feel something, because he's gone. But… I- I don't."

"I think, that not feeling anything is a way people sometimes process grief."

"It better be. Or I'm the shittiest girlfriend in the world."

There was a pause where Mae glanced at the blood that was still on her face and front. "We should uh, get you cleaned up a bit."

Nadia looked down at her blood soaked shirt. "Yeah… there was a bit more blood than I was expecting."

"Do you want me to go get a shirt for you?"

"Uh, sure. Thanks. I should have a drawer in my room full of them. Might need a bra as well."

"Yeah. I'll be right back."

"Thanks."

The next few minutes were long and lonely as she sat by herself. She had stopped crying and simply stared at the floor, her eyes not focusing on anything. Mae eventually returned with a shirt, a bra, and a few towels.

"Here… let's get the blood off you first." She ran one of the towels under the sink and passed it to her. Nadia stood in front of the mirror and slowly started mopping it off. Her hands shook as she went to wash the towel again. Mae glanced at her. "If you want to stay on the couch at my rooms, I don't mind."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

She nodded slowly. "Thanks. I just, I don't think I could face them and their worried… pity."

"Yeah. I understand. Here, I can look away and make sure no one comes in so you can get changed."

"Okay. Thanks."

Mae faced the door, leaning her weight against it with one hand so it couldn't be opened. Nadia took her shirt off and her bra. Her limbs were weak and shook slightly. The only thing she could compare it to was being so hungry that her blood sugar was low. It felt like that. She stared at herself in the mirror. Tiny rivulets of blood snaked down her skin, and where there wasn't enough to run, it just beaded there. The towel stained pink as she wiped it off. It took her longer than she expected as it managed to kind of stain her skin. When she finally had it all off, she used another towel to dry herself and washed her mouth out before putting the clothes Mae had brought on.

"Okay," Mae said. "Let's, let's go back to the room."

Nadia nodded silently. They took a roundabout way to the rooms so that people wouldn't stare at her. When they eventually got there, Nadia sat heavily on the couch, not moving.

For the next few hours, Mae didn't really know what to do. Nadia was barely saying any words and it wasn't like she could just, put on a movie for her to watch or something. Eventually Mae threw together some pasta and set it in front of her.

"Here… you should eat."

"Okay. Thanks."

There was a soft knock on the door and Mae looked up. "I'll get that." She crossed the room to the door and opened it to see Saoirse standing there. "Oh. Hey."

"Hey. She doing okay?"

"Um, I don't know."

"I can help, if you'd like."

"Uh, yeah sure." She opened the door wider to let her in. Saoirse walked slowly over to Nadia who sat on the couch, staring into the distance, not having touched her food at all.

"Hey baby gay."

Nadia glanced at her. "Hey…"

She sat next to her. "I'm really sorry that happened. That was fucked up."

Nadia nodded.

"What you did, that was pretty badass though."

"Didn't feel badass."

"Well it was. That guy deserved it."

"Mm." Nadia didn't really look at her when she responded and was generally very unenthusiastic. Saoirse shot Mae a worried look and she shrugged helplessly in return. She pointed at the kitchen. "You got any more of that pasta?" She tilted her head slightly, indicating Mae to join her.

"Um yeah, let's go grab it."

Nadia watched them leave in her peripheral vision, knowing they were going to talk about her. She couldn't really come up with the energy to care about it.

In the kitchen, Saoirse glanced back at the opening to the living room. "She… isn't looking so good."

"I know, I've never seen her like this. But, I don't know what to do."

"I suppose we should just, keep an eye on her."

Mae's face fell. "Do you think she'd…?"

"No, I was thinking more along the lines of…" She struggled to find the words, then rephrased. "She's feisty. She already mouthed off one GIRA guy, I'm just worried that right now, she doesn't really care what could happen. We don't want her to get hurt."

"Yeah. I'll go back out there, you can grab some food then come out."

"Aright."

Mae walked back into the living room and sat down next to Nadia, who still hadn't touched her food. "You should eat."

Nadia's voice sounded flat. "I'm not hungry."

"Still. You haven't eaten anything today other than breakfast."

Nadia stared at the plate.

"It's gonna get cold."

Nadia picked up the fork and grabbed a piece, slowly eating it. "Thanks.."

"No problem."

Saoirse walked back out with a plate of food as well and sat on the other side of Nadia, beginning to dig in. She gestured with her fork, speaking as politely she could around a mouth of food. "This is really good Mae, thank you."

Nadia nodded silently, agreeing with her.

"Oh don't worry about it."

The next two days were basically just blank. Nadia performed basic functions like eating and going to the bathroom with a robotic air about her. With continued encouragement from Mae and Saoirse, she started to open up a tiny bit. Which at that point meant just talking, not necessarily about James or what happened, but anything. Even smalltalk was an improvement.

* * *

Eventually She decided to finally return to the normal rooms. Neither Brenley nor Krupin were there so she sat on the couch, plugged the computer into the tv and started watching one of the Lord of the Rings movies. She got about halfway through when Brenley returned.

"Nadia, you're back."

"I'm back."

He glanced at the movie on the screen. "Two towers?"

"It's the best one."

"Yeah." He sat next to her.

"Where's Feliks?"

"Working. Don't really know why but, he kind of buries himself in work if he's stressed."

"Mm. How's he holding up."

"Not… great. He wasn't in the best place to begin with when that fuckhead cut off his fucking finger so… he's not doing too good. How are you though?"

"I'm just about as good as you'd expect."

"I'm really sorry Nadia."

"I don't know what the fuck to do now." She let out a long breath. "He's gone. He's… dead."

He fiddled with his thumbs. "Listen, I'm kinda shit with death in general. But, I'm here for you okay? So don't think you're alone. Because you're not."

She nodded before shifting over and resting her head on his shoulder. "Thanks Brens." There was a pause where neither of them said anything for a bit. It was nice just having someone else to be close with, especially now. She could feel his shoulder move slightly when he breathed. Eventually she spoke softly. "Why me?"

"Hm?" His cheek brushed her hair as he turned his head slightly.

"Why'd you choose me. You have a couple hundred students. Why me?"

"Because you're my friend Waters."

"Well we're friends now but before this we got drunk together once and that was kind of it. But, I mean, I'm middle of the pack school wise, and I'm not exactly charismatic. So why me."

"Because… because you're like me when I was in college. I got okay grades but not amazing and I was, like you said, not exactly charismatic or outgoing. But I was there to learn. That's why I became a professor, so I could keep learning. No other student comes to me during office hours just to talk about cool new discoveries and stuff. Everyone sees me as an authority figure. With you I feel like I'm just being seen as… Someone to talk about science with."

Nadia smiled ever so slightly. "The only reason I come to you with those articles and stuff is because you're the only one I can nerd out to while also being taught about it."

"Well, no one else takes advantage of that." There was another pause for a few long seconds. Then Brenley spoke again. "Did you know I have a sister?"

"I think you've mentioned her before." She fiddled with the zipper on her jacket, turning it over and over in her fingers.

"Well, I do. She's only a year older than you." As he said it he wiggled his ring off and wordlessly handed it to her.

"Big age gaps." She accepted it and started twirling it instead, the gears made almost silent ticking noises as they rotated.

"Mm hmm. But listen, I care about her a whole fuckton. I'd do anything for her. And, she is perfectly capable of handling herself but if she ever needed any help, I'd be there in an instant." He paused. "Same thing for you Waters. Okay?"

That was the moment when her body decided it was finally time to cry. James was  _dead_. She'd never see him again, or crack stupid jokes with him or  _anything_. She tried to stop it and her lip quivered uncontrollably. Finally she just let it out and sobbed. Brenley wrapped his arm around her. "It's okay Nadia."

"Fuck… I'm sorry Brenley."

"Did you not just hear me say if you ever need it I'll help you."

"He's dead Brenley. He's dead."

"I know. I'm sorry. He deserved better."

It was hard to talk while crying. "I should- I should've done something."

"I'm gonna say the exact same thing I said to Feliks. You couldn't have. Don't blame yourself. It happened so fast. If you need someone to blame blame John, and the rest of those fuckers."

"I just- I just want him back. I just want him back."

He rubbed his thumb over her arm. "I know."

In a sudden movement she turned and hugged him. It put her body in a fairly awkward position physically as her torso was twisted weirdly. He seemed a bit shocked at first but then he wrapped his arms around her. He mumbled.

"It feels terrible right now, I know it does. But it'll get better. It'll fade Nadia."

She squeezed tears out of her eyes. "You fuckin better be right." She took a deep breath. "I miss him, so much."

"Yeah… I know."

They stayed like that for a few long seconds before she slowly separated and went back to her previous position of leaning her head on his shoulder, wiping the tears from her cheeks. It took her a long time to get the courage to tell him. It was hard telling anyone, she had a feeling that people would look down on her. But, she had to tell someone or she was going to explode. "I- I was gonna break up with him."

Brenley stared at her for a second, not knowing what to say. "Really?"

"Yeah. I mean, I really liked him as a friend. And- and I  _used_ to like him in, that way. But after awhile of being with him, I realized I kinda wouldn't… care if we broke up. Then I realized that I just, didn't feel the same way he did about me. So I was gonna end it. Then- then he  _fucking_ died. And I'm left looking like the bereaved girlfriend when, when really I just thought of him as a close friend. And I feel so  _shitty_ about it now. I feel like crap. He died thinking we'd, be together for ages. That eventually we'd get married or something when, when that was just a fucking lie. I should have been honest with him. I should have just sucked it up and told him but I didn't and he died thinking I was, in love with him."

"Did you ever say you loved him?"

She shook her head slowly. "But, but I kind of implied that I might say it eventually. I just- I don't get it! Everyone has this checklist in their head for a potential partner or whatever the fuck and he ticked every damn box and I still… I still didn't, love him."

"That checklist isn't a, rule. I mean I love Feliks so fucking much and he does tick off most of the boxes but there are a few he doesn't. I wanted someone who is an introvert like me, he's pretty damn far from that. Especially if you would have seen him in college. I wanted someone who has the same view on sappy shit as me, which is that it's vaguely cringey. But boy is he sappy as hell sometimes. Loves the whole 'looking deep into each other's eyes' and all when I kinda hate it. Theoretically I wouldn't like him. But I do. Theoretically isn't everything and sometimes your brain just decides things for you, without you knowing why."

"I like how you didn't say heart."

"Again, don't like sappy shit." There was a long silence before he spoke softly. "You think maybe this is because of Sky?"

"I dunno."

"Well do you still feel the same way about her as you did before."

"...Yeah."

"Well maybe you just, couldn't really let go of that."

"Yeah but fucking hell she still thinks I'm straight! I haven't done  _anything_  with her and my dumbass brain was prioritizing her over a guy who actually said he loved me?"

"She hasn't said no either. You still don't know if it could happen or not."

Nadia shook her head. "Jesus christ why is this the only thing I can think about when James is fucking  _dead._  I'm such a shitty person."

"No you're not."

"I feel shitty that he's dead and I feel twice as shitty that I never told him my actual feelings. And, I didn't see him the way he saw me but, I still cared about him a lot. I still miss him."

"Of course you do. I miss him too."

"It's hard to- to accept that he's never coming back. Like, I still dream about him. That sounds stupid and cheesy but literally... sometimes he'll show up in a dream. And it doesn't matter if you're being chased by a t-rex or something, you always think dreams are  _real._  They feel so real! Then- then I wake up and I have to face it all over again. God what are we going to do when we get back. He has four siblings. If I feel this awful I can't even imagine how they'll feel."

Brenley didn't really say anything to that. Nadia let out a long sigh and wiped her eyes again. "Can- can we just watch Lord of the Rings. I don't want to think about it."

"Yeah okay."

They watched the rest of the movie in relative silence. It was the extended versions so it took a good hour and a half to get to the end. About an hour in, she handed his ring back. It was warm from the amount of times she had turned it and fiddled with it. "Here... thanks."

"Keep it for now. Id say you need it more than me."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Isn't it your fucking engagement ring?"

"Well congrats on being engaged to a nobel laureate."

She smiled slightly. "Thank you."

* * *

The next morning, Nadia woke up late. She stared at the ceiling and turned over in bed, pulling the blankets up to her neck. She was kind of glad that any time she spent the night with James past the first time it was at his room. She didn't think she'd be able to sleep in the bed otherwise.

Everything just felt, hollow. She didn't want to leave bed and she didn't want to stay in bed. This led to her just staying in bed as doing nothing was somehow preferable to doing something. It was about two hours of staring at the wall and feeling like shit when the door creaked open slightly and Krupin peered in. "Nadia?"

She was  _done_ with people trying to make her feel better. "What."

"You should get up, it's pretty late."

"Says the person who stayed in bed until 3 for like… five days."

He let out a long breath and leaned against the door. "Nadia I have clinical depression. Doing stuff similar to me is not necessarily good."

"Yeah but did everyone bug you to get up every two minutes."

"Elias did, yes. And I know getting up and facing everyone is the last thing you want to do right now but… but staying here is going to make you feel even shittier. Trust me."

Her voice quavered slightly. "God can you just go?"

"I know how you feel. My sister died."

"Yeah so you know how shitty it is to have everyone stare at you in pity and try to help you when all you want is to forget about everything. But everyone keeps reminding you."

There was a short silence. He did know that feeling. "Well, if you do want to come out we won't bug you."

Even after his encouragement, it took ages for Nadia to gather up the willpower to get out of bed. When she finally did, she got her outer clothes together and started getting ready to go outside, snatching a package of turkey slices from the fridge. Brenley came back to the rooms to see her lacing up her boots and walked over. "Where are you going?"

"Out. I need to be alone for a bit."

His brow furrowed. "I mean, I won't stop you. But… just don't do anything stupid."

She looked down as she tightened a lace. "What, like kill myself?"

His frown deepened.

"Jesus Brenley. It was a joke."

"Pretty tasteless joke."

"Mm."

"But, I meant like finding a lone GIRA member and going after him or something."

She stood up and straightened her jacket. "I won't. I just want to be away from all this for a second. And don't follow me." She really didn't want to say the next words but they came out of her mouth anyways. "Not that you would be able to, given how long it takes to put your fuckin boots on."

His face was blank. "I won't follow you."

"Good." She grabbed her scarf from the table and left, closing the door a bit too hard behind her.

Sputnik could sense something was wrong. He pressed his forehead and nose into her torso, whining slightly. She stroked his neck. "It's okay buddy."

Only after she had taken off did she notice Trotsky was on the cliff, watching them fly away. He had probably seen Sputnik come into land and followed him, expecting James to be not far behind Nadia.

She flew for quite a long time, going ways away from any peak she had visited. Eventually she landed on a peak and got off sputnik, going over and leaning up against a boulder. Sputnik walked over and curled up next to her, resting his massive head in her lap. She chuckled slightly and stroked it.

"Fuckin hell Sput your entire head is bigger than like… three times Bill." Bill was her family's cat they had gotten when she was a senior in highschool and named after Bill Murray. She stared out over the cloudscape, dotted with peaks. In the distance, a small herd of whales was moving slowly along. For about twenty minutes she just sat and stared, her mind wandering. Eventually she stood, having to push Sputnik's head off her legs. He was surprisingly stubborn about it.

"C'mon buddy, move ya head."

She struggled to her feet and dusted off her hands and ass, sitting in snow made it stick to the pants. "Alright Sput. I wanna try something." She crawled back onto his back and took off, circling around the peak. As she did, she talked to him.

"Okay boy. They said you lot are trained to catch people in case they fall, right?" She looked down at the distant surface below. It was way too far to see. The amount of atmosphere alone blocked it from view. "Okay…. Okay okay okay."

With a deep breath, she unhooked her legs and rolled off him. As she tumbled towards the surface, Sputnik let out a bizarre shriek and dove after her. She tried to align her body so she wasn't rolling around randomly in the air. Adrenaline filled her, and for the first time, all thoughts of James left her mind. It was somehow freeing. Time slowed as she rocketed towards the surface. The wind filled her chest and made her feel like she could punch a god.

She was jolted back to reality as massive claws grabbed her, digging in. They were clipped not to be sharp but those would leave bruises. She jolted to a stop, the air rushing out of her chest as Sputnik started to haul her back up.

"Christ boy. Little gentler next time."

He deposited her onto the nearest mountain peak, which involved her face planting into a snowdrift, then landed next to her and started making whining noises as he sniffed at her. She sat up, shaking the snow off her headscarf, and started laughing. "That was  _awesome!_ " She grabbed his nose, jostling it a bit. "I'm okay buddy. I chose to do that. Now lets fuckin go again."

It took a good twenty more tries until she got Sputnik to do what she wanted, which was instead of grab her with his feet, he'd fly under her so she could get right onto the saddle. The first time was incredibly painful and she tumbled off him, leading to him having to grab her with his feet again. But eventually, he caught on to what he had to do. They were incredibly smart animals after all. When she jumped off him, he would start a dive. He wouldn't come out of it when he reached her, but would face his back to her so she could grab on to the saddle and position herself in it as they both would be falling at the same speed. Only then would he come out of the dive. But he would come out slowly in a wide arc as he pulled up. That way her velocity downwards wouldn't absolutely bruise her chest to bits. Each time he did something she wanted him to do, she would feed him a bit of the packaged turkey.

She got him able to do it on a regular basis then decided to take a break. Sput was pretty obviously tired after all of the grabbing her out of the air so he curled up in the snow, blinking slowly at her. She walked over and sat down, leaning against his side.

"Lord buddy I am going to be in some pain tomorrow."

He huffed air out of his nose.

There was a ringing in her headphones and she answered. "Yeah?"

She instantly recognized the accent and slight raspiness of Saoirse's voice. "Hey, where are you? We're worried about you girl."

"I'm okay. I just wanted to go outside for a bit."

"Oh okay."

"I'm on peak 145."

"Wow that's a ways."

"Yeah."

"Mind if I come out with you? It's alright if the answer is no."

"No yeah you can join me."

"I'll be out in a bit then."

"See you."

"Yeah." Saoirse hung up and the line went dead.

Nadia stayed sitting while she waited, just watching the few animals she could see in the bank of clouds. He legs started to get cold as they were in the snow but her back stayed warm due to Sputnik.

Soon there was a shape in the distance and she raised her eyebrows as the biggest banshee she had ever seen flew closer and landed with a massive slam. It was stone grey with black markings. Saoirse slid off it's back and hiked her goggles to her forehead. "Hey."

Nadia stepped closer. "Jesus christ he's huge!" Not only was the banshee much bigger than Sputnik, it was also stockier. It was like Sputnik was a lab and this beast was a st. bernard.

Saoirse laughed and patted it's neck. " _She's_  big yes, and her name is Darlene."

Nadia laughed as well and stepped up to her. "Darlene? That's amazing. She nice?"

"Yup. Big ol' sweetie."

Nadia stroked Darlene's face and the massive banshee pressed her head into Nadia's palm, breathing in deeply through her nose.

Saoirse let out a breath. "How you doing?"

Nadia glanced at her, still petting Darlene. "Man I got one rule for you being here and that's to not ask how I'm doing."

"Fair enough, I won't ask." She glanced around, scanning the horizon. Before, Nadia would have sworn her eyes were green but in the bright light reflected off the snow, she could see they were actually blue with rings of yellow in the center, giving the illusion of green. "What are you doing out here?"

"Not much." She didn't want to show off Sput's new trick until she had it nailed down.

"You wanna go see this cool arch thing I found? It looks like those ones in Utah but like… more snowy."

"Sure. Have you been to Utah?"

"Not at all, don't even know if that's the correct state. I've just seen pictures. You know the ones I'm talkin' about though."

"Yeah."

They got on their banshees and took off. The arch wasn't that far away, and when they got to it, it turned out to be way bigger than Nadia had imagined. Sputnik and Darlene could probably fly through it wingtip to wingtip no problem, which was impressive as Darlene was almost the size of a small siren. It was jagged and made of a grey stone that gave it a very unsaturated look and the top was covered in snow. The side that faced the wind was also plastered in it. It was pretty, in a cold, unfeeling sort of way. A way that made everything seem insignificant.

They landed and hiked around a bit, just enjoying the scenery. Nadia was extremely glad that Saoirse was good at keeping a conversation going and not only that but she wasn't prying at all. When they finally took a break and sat on some rocks, Nadia looked down at her hands.

"Hey, thanks for not being pushy about… all this shit."

"Nah it's okay. People process shit differently, if you don't want to talk about it, we won't talk about it."

"I wish I could just stay out here, away from everybody."

"Well I don't mind staying out here for a good while. We'll probably get cold eventually, and hungry, but… we can stay here as long as you'd like."

"What would we do? Stare at the clouds?"

"Oh I dunno… I used to play this game with my brother. It's like DnD except without dice. Basically, I tell you a story about a character, then every once in awhile, I let you make a choice. Where you go next, what you say to people, all that. But instead of dice deciding the outcome I just, make one up. Like a spoken choose your own adventure."

"That sounds fun."

"Alright well, make a character. Basic RPG classes, y'know."

"Right. Um. How about a human fighter. Who is a grungy gay, just real messy, hates everything, drinks too much, and yells at people."

"Perfect. Male or female?"

"A dude."

They spent the next few minutes hammering down what Nadia's character had as far a supplies and weapons, then started. Saoirse relaxed back onto the boulder. "Okay. You are in a tavern, nasty place. There's puddles of beer on the floor and smoke in the air and everybody has a look of almost evil. They aren't bad people, it's just bad times, a bad place. You're sitting in the corner away from everyone, your sword leaning up against your leg as you survey the crowd. A woman approaches you, a barmaid, and asks if you'd want a drink or anything to eat."

"I'll take whatever your cheapest beer is."

"She says 'you sure about that? Not to undersell the place but it's basically piss.'"

"I'll take it."

"Okay, she leaves to get it just as the door swings open and a group of newcomers walk in. They're obviously travelers, you can tell by the mud on their boots and the rain on their cloaks."

They sat there, weaving this story together, for almost four hours. Nadia ended up leaning against Saoirse's shoulder, partly for warmth, partly just to be close. As darkness slowly fell and the stars started to peek out from behind the clouds, Nadia finally felt at peace. Sputnik had curled up with half his body on their legs, keeping them warm, while Darlene lay behind them. Time was meaningless. For a few blissful hours nothing was wrong. There was no hostage situation, no neo-nazis, no dead friends, just a dirty little gay man slicing up outlaws in a land where dragons roamed.


	15. Chapter 15

**Late June**

Krupin sat bolt upright in bed letting out a gasp. Brenley rolled over in bed, grabbing his arm lightly as he mumbled, "It's okay babe. Just a dream." Krupin looked down at him with wild eyes, breathing hard, then let out a long breath, rubbing his forehead in his hands.

"Fuuucking hell."

Brenley sat up a bit, his voice still slurring in tiredness. "You okay?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. Just another stupid dream."

"Mmkay. Try to get back to sleep."

Krupin grabbed his phone from the bedside table and turned it on, checking the time. "It's nineteen. I'm awake now, might as well just get up."

Brenley made a complain-y 'Mmmmph' noise.

"You can stay here you disaster." He grabbed his shoulder, jostling it slightly. "Go back to sleep." He folded the blanket back and stood up, snatching a pair of sweatpants from the floor and tugging them on.

He went into the kitchen and sighed, leaning his weight against the counter. It was too early for anyone else to be up and the room was eerily dark and silent, he was just left alone with his thoughts. That was never good. He frowned and shook his head, speaking under his breath.

" _Stop thinking you fucker._ " He grabbed his laptop and opened it, seeing if there was anything he could do. He found a file for a little programming project and let out a relieved breath before stretching his hands and getting to work. As he was working, the door to Nadia's room opened and she walked out. Krupin looked up. "Couldn't sleep?"

Nadia nodded. She didn't ask why he was up, she knew it was his dreams again. For a second she just watched him type. Normally, he was incredibly fast at typing when he was programming, now he was down to picking away at the keys. His left hand could really only type with the index finger as apparently the rest of his hand was still stiff and painful. He stared at the screen and let out a long breath through his nose.

"Hey, wanna learn how to program?"

She looked up. "What?"

"I'm just programming a little platformer thing here, don't have much else to do. So, wanna learn? We both could probably do with a little distraction."

Actually, some distraction could be good. She had been in her head way too much recently. "Okay, yeah. Sure."

"Grab Elias' computer. He has the programs for running java and whatnot."

She grabbed it off the couch and put it on the table, sitting next to him. She opened it and was met with the password screen. "Uh.."

"Here." He slid it over slightly and typed something in. It opened to the desktop and he slid it back. "There you go."

"You know his password? He doesn't even let me  _glance_ at his computer screen when he's doing something on it."

"Doesn't like me doing that either. But, he knows I'd only ever use this for mundane stuff."

"Why doesn't he like people looking at his screen? I mean, sometimes he's just doing like… excel and he doesn't like it."

He shrugged as he opened a new file on his own computer. "I dunno. Says it makes him uncomfortable for no apparent reason."

"Huh."

"So, what language do you want to learn."

"Which ones do you know?"

"Java, Javascript, Python, Ruby, C, C++, C#, HTML, Flix, WavePro, PHP, R, SQL, CLGRFY, and um… CSS."

"Jesus  _christ_  how do you keep them all straight in your head?"

"I don't. I know Java, Python, C, and CLGRFY the best." He pronounced the last one as 'calligraphy' "So one of those would be better. Java and C are kind of, classic. Python is the simplest and is still pretty widely used, and Callig is like, the mandarin of coding. It's super hard to learn but it ends up very compact, way less lines than the others."

"So, python?"

"Sure, that's probably best. Also once you know one language it transfers fairly easily to others."

He started off with just teaching her how to do basic math in it, then basic loops. After about twenty minutes she had a loop that would count to ten. He wasn't as good of a teacher as Brenley was, he couldn't put stuff in layman's terms as well, but he wasn't bad. Eventually, her eyes started to droop. Her sleeping schedule had been thrown all off whack and now she started feeling tired in the early hours of the morning. Krupin noticed.

"Hey, go to bed."

She nodded sluggishly. "Probably a good idea."

"We can continue this later."

"You gonna be alright? Alone I mean."

She could see his shoulders tense a tiny bit. "Yeah. Yeah I'll be fine, don't worry."

"Okay. Good night. Or, good morning I suppose, I'm a disaster."

"Aren't we all."

* * *

Nadia slept through the most of the next day. The past week or so she had just been in a shitty mood and didn't want to do much other than stay in bed and wallow in the shitty feelings. It was later in the day when there was a knock on the door and she groaned, "What."

Brenley's voice was slightly muffled. "Hey Waters, wanna get drunk?"

She stared at the door. "I dunno."

"C'mon. Just us, not like a party or anything."

Getting drunk might actually help a little bit. She let out a breath. "Okay. Yeah, I'll be out in a minute."

"Great."

It wasn't long before they were a couple drinks down, both splayed out on the couch in bizarre positions. Nadia gestured with her glass.

"You have two siblings right?"

"Mm hmm."

"Younger or older?"

"Younger. By quite a bit. Braiden is five years younger than me and Corina is seven years younger than him. So twelve years younger than me."

"Huh. What do they do?"

"Braiden is doing his fellowship as a neurosurgeon and Corina is at harvard law school."

"Jesus christ. Are you all overachievers?"

He shrugged. "I guess. We're also all mentally fucked so…. Yeah."

She frowned. "What do you mean?"

"I have autism, Braiden has ADHD, and Corina has an anxiety disorder."

"But you're all…"

"Learned?"

She chuckled. "I guess that word works. I just meant that getting where you all are, that's hard, for anybody."

"Well our mental fuckery all worked towards our academia or whatever. Like me, Braiden got kinda shit grades. He was never able to focus. Couldn't sit still for more than ten minutes. But, he's able to do eight hour surgeries. He gets hyperfixated on it. That's why he was able to succeed at his residency. Not many people training to be surgeons go into neurosurgery. Corina… she did amazing at school, too worried to fail. She'd stress over everything so much and over study that the few times she got B's on tests she'd practically… break down. Even though our parents told her time and time again that she didn't need to get A's if it was just going to stress her out. So, she's like, basically top at her class at fucking  _harvard_  because she's to scared of failing." He looked down, his eyes far away. "My parents are, the best parents I could have asked for. But, my family is still kind of fucked. There was always one of us struggling through the basic shit in life. That's probably why the age gaps are so big. Once one of us was able to vaguely be by ourselves they had to deal with another fucked up kid.

"Mm."

"But it kinda made us closer I guess. We were all a bit more patient with each other. We always knew that it's hard living with screwy brains."

"Sometimes I like being an only child but sometimes I kinda wish I had siblings."

"Yeah. It definitely has its pros and cons. I love 'em but they're also little shits."

Not too much time later Nadia could barely taste the alcohol in her drinks. She was drinking a bit faster than she normally would, appreciating the way of getting away from her shitty feelings. Normally she knew her limit, now though, she blasted past it, not caring that she knew she'd probably feel terrible in the morning.

Brenley watched her, frowning a bit as she downed yet another rum and coke in about thirty seconds. "You should maybe slow down…"

She rolled her eyes and poured another drink. That was a mistake. Once that was down and had time to sit and hit her, she blinked rapidly, the world spinning slightly. She had also had another shot in the time between, which wasn't helping.

Brenley watched her as she sank back into the couch, letting out a long breath. "You good?"

"I uhhhhh I dunno."

"Think you're gonna throw up?"

"Maybe…"

"Alright let's get you to the bathroom. Because if you barf on the floor I'm going to have to wake Feliks up to clean it up and he'd kill me." He helped her stand up and she stumbled slightly as they started walking, making him grab her arm, steadying her. "Woah there."

"Shit… I'm ssorry Brenley."

"You're okay Nat. It's okay."

As they got to the bathroom she wandered around for a second, confused, before he grabbed her shoulder. "You should uh, kneel. Maybe."

"Rright- right. Thanks." She got on her knees and leaned her weight on her elbows on the toilet seat. He slowly sat next to her and placed a hand on her back, rubbing it slightly. "You're okay."

She took a few deep breaths, her eyes closed, trying to stop the inevitable. Eventually she gave up trying and just threw up into the toilet bowl. Brenley rubbed her back again. "You'll feel better after this."

She spat into the bowl and took another few deep breaths. "Brenleyy… I ffucked up." Her words came out in a slurry mess.

"Hey hey it's okay. We all have a bit too much sometimes."

She retched again. It was really a terrible feeling. Not only was the world spinning but she felt light headed and nauseous and generally shitty. Nadia stared into the toilet, her muscles weak. Without her wanting them to, her eyes started to water. It was a good few seconds before he noticed as her head was down. Brenley frowned. "Woah hey are you okay?" His voice was filled with worry.

She wiped her eyes and sniffled slightly. "It's- it's nothin."

"It's okay if it isn't nothing."

"I dunno how to explain it."

"Just try, better to say it."

"I…" Her voice caught, it was harder to actually  _say_  it. "I hate my life. I hate it. And I don't know what to do about it."

"Is this about James?"

She shook her head, frowning. "God why does everything have to be about fucking James! Can't I just be sad because my life is shitty?!"

"You lost someone you care about. That drags up a lot of shit."

"Well, it isn't. I just- I don't want to go back to procrastinating on studying and stressing over exams I always get bad scores on!" She shook her head. "I don't- I don't know if I should be pursuing science. It's just, I thought it would be learning cool new stuff but it's just equations and lab reports. I don't know if I want to do that the rest of my life." She scoffed. "But of course I'm basically done with my masters so I guess that's what the fuck I'm doing."

Brenley frowned slightly. "Science isn't just the lab work. You could… be a professor. Like me. I had a job in a lab for a while over summer and I absolutely hated it. But, I love my job now."

She stared at him. "I'm not good enough to be a professor. Average people don't get far in life. They just, stagnate."

"You are good enough! Look at me, i'm the procrastination king and I got tenure."

"I'm just- I'm worried that my life is just going to be plodding through every week, saying once this week is over it'll get better, but it never does. Is- is that all there is to life. Because, fuck. If you average everything out it's, shit. It's hard and it's stressful and I hate it. I just- what's the fucking point of life if it's gonna always be waiting for your shitty week to be over but then the next one is just as shitty. What's the point of life."

Brenleys brows were furrowed. "Nadia… don't talk like that."

"Christ Brens I'm not suicidal. I just, lowkey want everything to stop. To go away."

He didn't know what to say. Eventually, he spoke softly. "I like having you in my life."

She looked at him with slow eyes.

"I'm serious. And, I promise it's gonna get better. You're gonna find a job you like and you won't have to drag through each week. Whether it's STEM or not. I'll help you."

"But, I don't like anything other than science. And it turns out fuckin science is a drag."

"Next year, be my TA. It's like being a mini professor. You can kind of see what It's like to do what I do. I think you'd like it."

She rested her head on her forearm, staring away. "Mph."

There was a long silence. Eventually, he broke it. "What you said… do you feel like that, a lot? Or is it just now."

Her eyes felt hot and she could tell tears were coming to them again. "A lot. I never say anything though. I've never told anyone."

"Oh Nat…"

"My life seems so meaningless! Like- like it's never gonna get better. It's plateaued like this and it's never gonna go up again." She wiped her eyes, only for the tears to be replaced by fresh ones. " _Fuck_. God every once in awhile I just realize how much I'm  _not_ looking forward to the future because- because how is my life ever gonna be figured out. I have so much to do before I even get like… a nine to five job. And what then, do that until I fucking die? Is it all like this? Is it always going to be fucking crying alone at night because everything is just a facade and There's no hope of it getting better?"

"Hey… it will get better. In college-"

"God will you stop?"

He stuttered to a stop and frowned at her.

"You- you always compare what I'm going through to your life. It's different! It's just fuckin- patronizing. Like 'oh I did this easily, so can you' no I can't!"

"I- I didn't mean it like that."

"Sure."

"I'm bad with empathy alright. When I was maybe thirteen my mom told me our dog was dying so I should say goodbye. I was super fed up with that day already so I… told her to go away because I was reading."

She stared at him.

"It's true. Not just for dogs. For everyone. I don't like it but my brain is like that of a damn sociopath. But I- I try to empathize with others. The only way I can  _try_ to do that is by comparing it to stuff I've experienced, and thinking about how shitty it made me feel. And… I guess I was just doing that out loud. It's not me trying to be patronizing. I'm just trying to understand."

"Well maybe just accept that you won't. Because we're different fucking people." She wiped her eyes again. "Christ. I'm sorry. I'm being a dick."

"It's okay."

"Just… How is my life ever gonna be figured out. In grade school I lay awake at night stressing about high school. In high school I stressed about college. And now I'm getting my fucking masters and I'm still stressing about the next step. I don't know fucking  _anything_. Everyone seems to know more about being an adult than me."

"Christ I know fuck all about being an adult." He glanced to the side. "Shit- was that…"

"No no, that's fine. Because that kind of reassures me."

"You allistics and your fucking social code."

She chuckled at that, though she still felt shitty.

"But listen, Nadia, I uh, I haven't gone to the doctors or dentists in… over a decade. I'm just hoping I'm not dying here. That's basically because I'm scared of making appointments and scared of asking someone to help because I'll seem like too much of a baby. Sometimes I just need a… more adult adult."

"But you have a reason! It makes sense! I'm just someone who can't hack life."

"Maybe you aren't. I mean, forgive the phrasing, but- this doesn't seem… normal. Feeling like this I mean."

"Fuck I hope it isn't. If everyone feels like this and I'm just bad at dealing with it it would make me feel like even more of a failure."

"A failure? You're not a failure. Christ you're doing your  _masters._  Not many people do that."

"I don't deserve it."

"What are you talking about? Of course you do."

"I've just- i feel like I've faked my way through college. Through life really. Yeah that's why I feel like this. Because- somehow I've faked it. Everyone else worked hard and they got what they wanted and I… somehow did it by procrastinating and copying people's homework and googling things. That's how my whole life has been. And how the fuck am I supposed to be independent when I can't even do ten questions for homework on my own."

"But you like science right? In theory?"

"Yeah I like watching fuckin science docs and learning about it! I like coming to your office to ask you about articles! I hate being assigned to figure out a damn reaction mechanism. So I end up googling it." She shook her head. "I'm not your damn prodigy. I'm not you in college. I'm not some smart person who doesn't click well with school. I'm someone who half asses everything. I don't get shitty grades even though I tried my best. I  _don't_ try my best. I put in minimal effort to pass and hope it doesn't backfire." She sighed and ran her hand through her hair, looking at him. "I'm not you. I'm not some hidden gem. I'm- sub par. And I've tricked everyone into thinking I'm not. Even you. You shouldn't have chosen me for this. You should have chosen someone who would try their hardest and do their best. Even if their best didn't mean good grades. You should have chosen someone better."

His voice was soft. "But I chose you."

"Yeah. Bet you're second guessing yourself on that brilliant plan."

"No. I'm not."

"Why not?! Why wont you just admit I'm average! Why do you have to keep giving me stupid fucking pep talks when I just want honesty!"

"Fine. You are not my best student. You don't try the hardest, you aren't the most naturally talented, you aren't… the best."

She didn't know how to react to that. No one had ever just said something like that to her, no coddling or protecting her feelings. Part of her wanted to curl up and cry and part of her felt like a massive weight was lifted. "Then why did you choose me."

"Because I think we click better than I do with other students. We have similar senses of humor. We both like learning about science, but don't necessarily like doing assignments in it." They stared at each other for a second. "Don't try to be the best. You're just going to hurt yourself."

She nodded, looking away. "Thanks for, being honest. No one does that."

"Don't get me wrong, you're above average. So stop saying that, but maybe just think about how you can't be the best. So don't try. You're just going to end up always comparing yourself to others. And that always makes you feel shitty."

"People say that but, that's what life is. Comparing yourself to others. And if you arent doing it others are. I mean fuck, a job interview is literally just that. Comparing people to others. So how can you  _not_ when how well you do in life is based on others."

"Just fuck 'em! I am constantly compared to others because I'm 'weird'. You just have to ignore them. It's hard, I know, you can't just forget shit but… you just gotta work at it. And hey as far as job interviews go you can always cheat the system. You know the CEO of probably the most influential biotech company out there so well you've seen his naked fucking ass."

Nadia chuckled. "Yeah, what a disaster." At one point Krupin had used the shower in the hall instead of the one in his and Brenley's room as theirs was briefly out of order. He managed to forget both a change of clothes and a towel and had yelled 'don't look!' before sprinting from the bathroom to the bedroom completely naked and holding his old clothes in front of his groin. Unfortunately he didn't give them time to look away so Nadia had pretty much seen everything.

She grinned, shaking her head. "He's got a nice ass though."

"Indeed."

Nadia sighed. "I've never told anyone this. Not my parents or Sky or… I dunno, just, you're the first person I've told."

"Why?"

"I dunno! Because I'm drunk! And because… you're easy to talk to."

"Never heard that one before."

"You are. For me at least. You don't give pitying looks. You don't, I dunno, empathize I guess. You just sit there and think about it. It shows- it shows you actually listen." She wiped her eyes. "God why am I crying like a fucking baby."

"It's okay to cry."

"Before this bullshit planet I hadn't cried in front of someone since I was like, fifteen. I never cry in front of people."

"It's okay. We all need to cry sometimes. I cry every once in awhile."

She nodded slowly before wiping her nose. "I think I'm done vomiting my guts out." She reached over and flushed the toilet again before slumping against Brenley, too tired and sick to get up. He rested his chin on her head. "I'm gonna help you Eaux. I'm gonna help you enjoy life."

She chuckled. "Good luck with that."

"Maybe you should talk to someone when we get back."

"As if I had money for that."

"Feliks will pay. He's got too much already."

"I dunno…"

They continued talking for a few long minutes before just sitting in silence. Then without really meaning to, both of them fell asleep.

* * *

Brenley woke to a knocking on the door and groaned. "Yeah?"

Krupin cracked it open and blinked a few times. "Ah. There you are."

Brenley looked at him through squinted eyes. "Fuck. Is it morning?"

"Yes it is."

"Oh god. This was a bad idea."

Krupin gestured to Nadia. "She okay?"

"Big ol' hangover."

"Ah."

Brenley moved his shoulder slightly. "Waters. Waters, get up."

She blearily opened her eyes and looked around. "Ohhh christ I feel like shit." Her eyes widened and she suddenly jolted, grabbing the toilet and retching into it.

Krupin grimaced. "Oof. That's never fun."

Brenley patted her back. "Okay…"

"Sorry to-" Krupin shifted awkwardly. "Could you grab that?" He pointed to a roll of gauze and bandages by the sink. "Need to change this." He raised his hand slightly to indicate the heavily bandaged wound.

"Oh yeah." Brenley leaned over and grabbed them, passing them to him. "Need any help?"

"I can do it myself. I think you're more needed here." He gestured at Nadia whose face was pale and clammy as she looked just about ready for another round of toilet hugging.

"Right."

A bit later, Nadia sat at the table, resting her head sideways on her folded arms with her eyes closed. She opened them as Brenley set down a plate of eggs next to her and a glass of water.

"Eat."

"Do you only know how to make eggs."

"I mean, it's that or cereal. We don't have much."

She slid the plate closer and sat up a bit, poking at a chunk. "I have a proposal."

He sat down opposite her. "Yes?"

"We take a break from drinking. Both of us."

"I one hundred percent agree."

"Aright good." She managed to get one tiny bit down before having to take a break.

Brenley knew she wasn't going to be eating the whole plate so he grabbed a fork and started eating off it. "Do you remember last night?"

"A bit. You?"

"Yeah." He glanced away, unsure how to say it. "Nadia you uh, told me some things-"

"I was drunk." She said, tersely.

"Yeah but-"

"I say stupid things when I'm drunk. It's kind of a… hallmark of my personality."

"You said you felt like that a lot."

She let out an exasperated breath. " _Christ._ I know you're not great with social cues so here's a clue, drop it. Maybe I'll talk about it later but not fucking now. Alright?"

He nodded slightly. "Alright. Sorry."

"It's okay."

He ate a bit more then gestured with his fork. "Maybe you should go outside for a bit. Y'know, fresh air and all."

"Yeah… I will after I stop having to swallow vomit whenever I change positions."

He chuckled. "Fucking lightweight."

"Don't be mean."

"I mean, I had more than you."

"You're also seven feet tall."

"Yeah but we weigh the same."

She smirked. "So I guess you're the one who's the… light weight."

He plucked a tiny bit of egg off his fork and threw it at her. She laughed and flicked it off her shirt where it landed. "Asshole."

Once she felt vaguely good enough to walk around, she grabbed the stuff needed for going outside and headed out. She walked along the corridor, her hands shoved deep in her pockets. As she passed a maintenance closet, she suddenly felt a hand on her arm, roughly pulling her in. Some figure pushed her against the wall and put their hand over her mouth. "Don't scream."

She still tried, struggling against their grasp. Images of the GIRA guy who had kissed her flashed through her head and she yelled into the palm, trying to bite the skin. The voice came again, it was a man's voice, although a relatively high one.

"Don't scream!" The cool metal of a gun barrel pressed against her forehead. She stilled, her heart racing. The figure reached over and turned the light on. It was one of the GIRA members. She recognized his face, it was easily recognizable. His skin was covered in long thin scars, some which went up into his scalp or bisected his eyebrows. Or rather, eyebrow. His left eye was entirely covered in a makeshift eyepatch that looked like just a long strip of cloth tied around his head. It was the young guy who had been attacked by the siren. He put his hand up. "I'm not trying to hurt you. Sorry about the gun. That was just so you wouldn't bring attention to us." He lowered it, showing his finger wasn't on the trigger. As fast as she could, she snatched the gun out of his hand and turned it to him. He displayed his palms. "It isn't loaded."

It was true. The magazine was empty and there wasn't a round in the chamber. She frowned and put it on the counter. "What the fuck do you want me for."

"I know you guys are trying to escape. And, I wanna help."

"How do you know?"

"I uh, I kinda followed you to the drain thing."

"Why? How did you know to follow us then?"

"I was fairly sure you were going outside. You guys change pants and stuff and try to hide you're holding coats when you go out. You're good at it but it just takes some observing. Please, I'm on your side. I want to help." She hadn't seen him standing before, or at least not when he was this close. He was actually quite tall, a good six feet.

"As long as you're wearing that fucking uniform you aren't. Do you have any other weapons on you?"

"No."

"Let me check."

He held his arms up and she ran her hands down his sides, checking his pockets and sleeves. "Are you recording this?" She said as she took a phone out of his pocket.

"No! I swear."

"And what would you say if I suggested we move to the empty room across the hall."

"Fine with me. We don't want anyone to see us though."

He didn't seem to be lying. It was better not to change positions. She'd have to just hope the room wasn't bugged. "Who are you."

"I want to help. My dad- I realize now something's wrong with him."

"Your dad?"

"You don't know? My dad… he's the leader."

"What?"

He held his hands up, reworking his words. "My dad raised me really terribly. He was super shitty. He'd, hit me and stuff. But he tried to instill his values in me. He taught me how to use a gun when I was seven. We'd... practice on mugshots of… y'know, colored people." She decided not to get into the whole 'colored people' thing while he was in the middle of what was obviously a pretty emotional story. She'd address it later. He paused, swallowing. "He didn't let me see anyone else basically, so I wouldn't get any 'liberal ideas'. So I was raised to think white people are better and men are better and all that. And I believed it. Until this planet. But then, I mean, what they've been doing to Krupin, and they whipped your friend, and they- they shot that guy. I'm so sorry about all of that. When they shot him, that's when I really realized how fucked up this all is. And I want to help you."

Nadia swallowed hard at the mention of James getting shot. "What about when they killed all those people when you first arrived?"

"He had me stay in the ship until it was over."

"How do I know you're not lying. About wanting to help."

"I swear. I'll help you get guns and stuff. You can ask me anything."

"What's your dad's name."

"Derek Richardson."

"Can you prove that?"

He pointed to his phone. "Look up 'Derek Richardson Immigration' he got interviewed on tv for like, a minute once. It'll just show you his face."

"You have wifi?"

"Yeah. I'd give you the phone but he uses it to communicate with me and he'd tear this place apart if I said I lost it."

She went to youtube and searched what he told her. He pointed out the video and she watched it. It was indeed the man they had been calling John. She paused the video.

"So he is Derek Richardson."

"Yeah."

"What's your name."

"James."

She glared and out the phone down quickly, pressing her forearm into his throat.

"The fuck did you just say?"

He choked. "J-James! I swear I'm trying to help! That's just my name!"

Her face fell and she slowly removed her arm. "Shit. Sorry. The guy they shot. That was his name."

"Oh… I'm sorry. I didn't know." He glanced to the side. "People sometimes call me Jim."

She sighed, looking down. From what she could tell, he seemed to be telling the truth. And he looked scared. And young. "How old are you."

"Fifteen."

Her jaw dropped slightly. "Fifteen?!"

"Yeah. I know I look older."

"God… you're just a kid."

He shifted his weight slightly. "I can help you get guns. We have an armory. I can tell you when we have shifts of guards outside." He paused. "Please. You all, the hostages, you're the first… humans I've ever been around. My dad didn't let me see anyone who wasn't GIRA. I didn't realize, I didn't realize what most people are like. That, most people aren't filled with hate."

"Alright.." She said, rubbing her brows, "You need to talk to some people. What do the other members think you're doing right now?"

"We get days off."

"Right. Here, take your clothes off."

"What?"

"You're wearing GIRA clothes. Just take off the jacket and pants. I'll give you my hoodie and pants. I'm wearing stuff under this. And we'll just cover your face with the hood. We need to go back to the rooms I'm at so we can get this figured out."

"Oh. Right yeah of course." He unzipped his jacket and peeled it off. Underneath he wore a grey t shirt. His shoulders and arms had long red lacerations that were still healing. Nadia couldn't help but look at them as she pulled her scarf off and unzipped her own sweater.

"Siren got you good."

"Yeah," He said, dropping his pants. Luckily he wore some long underwear that went to his knees underneath so it wasn't too weird. Without his outer clothes on his age was definitely more noticable, poor kid was smack dab in the middle of puberty. His limbs were long and gangly, remnants of everything he ate just going into height. As he bent over and tugged his pants off his feet she noticed the black mark of a tattoo on his calf. It had a very distinct shape and she stilled.

"Do you have a fucking swastika tattoo."

He slowly looked back up at her, bundling his clothes together. "Yeah… I didn't know what it meant when I got it. I mean I  _knew_ but not really. My dad has one. I thought for once it would make him feel proud of me. Now I just- I hate it. But it's a tattoo. Id need like a specialist to remove it."

She shook her head almost unbelievingly as she passed him her hoodie and snow pants. "I don't know what the fuck to think of you."

"I know."

As he put her clothes on she found a place in the closet to store his for a while. "Okay, just follow me and don't say anything."

Luckily, no one took notice while they walked towards the rooms. He was a bit too tall for her clothes and the pants only went to about his ankles so it was a bit weird looking but from far away he looked fine. Once they got to the door she stopped him. "Stay here for a second."

She opened the door and stepped in, still keeping an eye on him by standing just inside the doorway. Brenley and Krupin sat on the couch, eating sandwiches and going over some sort of paper document. They looked up as she walked in, frowning a bit at her lack of warm clothes.

"Okay. Guys this might be a bit of a shock but I found someone who wants to help us out. And I already asked him a bunch of questions and he seems to be telling the truth." She pointed at the document, mouthing " _put that away._ "

They both glanced at each other and she made an expression to tell them to hurry up. Brenley bundled the papers together and shoved them under a couch cushion. She stepped back out and gestured for Jim to come inside. "Guys, this is Jim. He's John's son."

Krupin and Brenley both shot to their feet.

Krupin frowned. "What the fuck? Why did you bring him here?!"

Jim raised his hands. "I want to help! Mr. Krupin I hate what they've been doing to you, it's wrong. I can help you."

"It's Dr."

Nadia sighed. "I think he really wants to help us."

Brenley shook his head. "I'm  _not_ getting any help from some white supremacist cracker."

"Hes fifteen! His dad never let him see anyone outside of GIRA! Of course he's gonna believe white people are better if he was raised by that fuckhead!"

Jim butted in. "I don't think that anymore. Not after what's been happening here."

"He already told me his dad's real name. And he was able to back it up. It's Derek Richardson."

Krupin glared. "I don't care! That fucking kid has been watching me get tortured and hasn't said a thing!"

As Krupin suddenly raised his voice, Jim flinched. It was barely noticeable, not more than a twitch in his face. The only one who saw it was Krupin. His face fell and he sighed. "Aw shit." He quickly stepped towards him, raising his hand. "High five kid."

Jim flinched away, violently this time. Krupin lowered his hand. "Sorry about that, just wanted to make sure." He paused. "Your dad hits you doesn't he."

Jim nodded silently.

"God dammit." He glanced to the side, thinking. "How do you propose helping us."

"I can help you get guns. And I can tell you when guard shifts are. And what they're planning to do next. Any sort of information you need I can at least try to get."

Brenley frowned at Krupin. "Wait, now you're willing to work with him?"

"Yes. Because I understand what it's like to have a shitty dad. Which you wouldn't." His tone was biting.

"Still…"

Jim stepped forward slightly, addressing Brenley. "I'm really sorry what they did to you. They- they don't think colored people are human. But- but I do."

Brenley grinned, looking at Nadia, though it was a fake grin. "Oh! So I'm colored now!"

Nadia glanced at Jim. "Maybe just… stay quiet for a second. I know you're trying to be nice but what you're saying is kinda shitty."

"It is?"

Nadia turned to Brenley. "I know he's not quite… PC so to speak but at least he's trying! He knows how he's been taught is fucked up. We have to give him credit for wanting to improve himself!"

"And if he's lying?"

Jim took the empty gun out of his pocket, holding it between his fingers to show he wasn't going to use it. He placed it on the table and slid it to Brenley. Then he took out a small box of shells and also slid it over. Nadia hadn't noticed him taking those from the storage room. Brenley stared at the gun and ammo as Jim held his hands up.

"There's a gun. You might need it later. And if you really don't trust me, or I go against you in some way, use it on me."

Nadia glanced between them before settling on Jim. "Next time you want to pull a stunt like that tell me you're holding a fucking gun and ammo. Okay?"

"Yeah. Sorry. I knew you wouldn't let me bring them. But I wanted to prove that I'm just here to help."

"Does anybody have bulletproof vests?" Brenley said, crossing his arms.

"We have a few. Um… I think about ten. Not many. We didn't think we'd need any and the landers have a weight limit."

"Are there guards at the Beyersdorf station."

"The what?"

"The station that controls the thing around the solar system, the wormhole you all made."

"Oh! We've been calling it the shield. Yeah there's guards there. And some hostages. We've been getting them to maintain it."

Krupin glanced at Brenley, then back to Jim.

"Why'd you change your mind."

"My dad taught me that anybody who wasn't a white male was like, barely human. But then that doctor, Scott… he treated me better than anyone ever has. My dad told me that Jews are greedy and untrustworthy. But Scott, he's not that at all. That's when I thought my dad might be lying. And after what I've seen them do to people, especially you Doctor Krupin, my dad's been lying my whole life and… I don't see how he can believe all of that stuff. Like, he doesn't think he's lying. That's what he thinks people are like. Everybody here is more of a person than the people who raised me."

Brenley crossed his arms. "Well, you're gonna need some ground rules if you want to help us, the big one being don't ever fucking say nigger. If I hear you say it I will shove you off this mountain."

"What about-"

"There isn't any what about. Just don't fucking say it."

"I understand. It's just that, around the other GIRA guys, if I suddenly stopped saying it they'd sense something was up."

"Fucking hell how often do you lot say it."

He glanced down. "Often enough."

"Okay. If you  _must_ say it as to not arouse suspicion then go ahead. Only if you must though. Try to avoid it as much as you can."

"Okay. What's a, better term to use?"

"Black people. He's black, there's black people in africa. Stuff like that. Never say 'the blacks' or 'a black'. Don't say 'colored'. To be honest, anything that sounds like a slur probably is and you should just avoid them."

"You called me cracker."

"That's different."

"How?"

"Because you lot have been in power for centuries. And you've been shitting on people like me for just as long. And you still are. Cracker doesn't refer to like, saltines. It means cracking a whip."

He let that sink in as Jim swallowed, remembering what had happened to him. "Suffice It's because of power. If you're making fun or using slurs on people in a lower position to you, you're an asshole. If you do it towards people higher in power than you, it's fine. So unless you're some form of lgbt, you are right now at the top of that ladder. You can't use slurs towards anyone."

"I didn't ask to be born a white guy! I can't change how I was born anymore than you can."

"But you get so much more help in life because of how you were born. And I know you can't go back in time and change what your ancestors did but that doesn't mean that the after effects of what they did are still there, putting you at a higher position than me."

"But-"

Nadia jutted in. "Lets just say that you are aware that you were brought up with the wrong views. So just… trust him. Because he knows way better than you."

"Exactly." Brenley said.

Jim glanced between them. "Okay. I'll uh, I'll trust what you say."

"But Brenley maybe don't call him cracker." She tilted her head at Jim. "Even though it's more, acceptable I guess, it's still not exactly a nice thing."

Brenley glanced away. "Fine."

"So we agree he can help?"

Both Brenley and Krupin gave tiny nods. "Okay good. We should get Heidi and Scott then." Jim seemed to perk up a bit at Scott's name. She took in a breath, glancing at the door. "I can go get them."

As she was about to leave, Jim fiddled slightly with his hands. "Sorry but, are there any other pants I can wear? These are really warm."

"You know what jean size you are?" Brenley said.

"Uh 32 34."

"Well mine will be a tiny bit long on you but should work." He stood up and soon returned with a pair of grey jeans, tossing them to Jim who snatched them out of the air.

"Aright…" Nadia said, "I'll be right back."

She soon returned with Heidi and Scott after giving them a brief explanation of what was going on. Heidi seemed very surprised but Scott was fairly unfazed by the news. When they got to the rooms, Scott patted Jim's shoulder.

"Good job."

For the first time, Nadia saw Jim give a tiny smile.

The six of them talked for a long time about what they were going to do. So far, they had the vague idea of a plan but without much information on what GIRA had holed up in their base, they couldn't really get any farther than that. Now though, they were able to work through it and come up with a plan that might work. Apparently he could provide them with at least a couple GIRA uniforms if he snuck out one piece of clothing at a time. The guns were harder. There was a combination lock on the door to where they stored the guns that was changed frequently. Luckily, Derek always told Jim the combination. The problem lay with the fact that the guns were numbered and the men always checked to see if any were missing. Jim was able to give them his handgun because he managed to fake jam it so that it was written off as useless.

Most of the other doors apparently had just padlocks as it used to be just a normal building so they had to use padlocks for security. Though they wouldn't have any keys, Brenley piped up with the fact that spraying compressed air over a padlock then hitting it would break it. When Nadia asked why he knew that, he shrugged and said he lost the key to the padlock for his bike once but happened to be on campus at the time so he just grabbed a small tank of compressed air and essentially stole his own bike.

While they did have their three guns and their makeshift weapons, they still need ammo and more guns. Once they tried to escape, they wouldn't have much time before GIRA realized and tried to stop them. They needed to arm the others. They needed to somehow get guns without the men realizing what was going on.

It was a good few hours before they decided to stop. Heidi thanked Jim, then told them she had to meet with someone about rationing food or something, and left. Scott glanced over at Jim for a second, who was fiddling with a napkin off the table.

"I said this earlier, but good job. It was brave, doing this."

Jim nodded, not meeting his eyes. "I'm sorry though."

"Why?"

"Because I didn't do this earlier. I was scared, and I didn't know what to do."

"Well you did the right thing. Better late than never."

Jim's eye finally moved to look at him, then back down. "I suppose."

Scott leaned forward, placing his elbows on the table. "Listen, I've raised two boys, I know that at fifteen you want to be seen as equal to adults. And in many ways you are. But, you also get some more slack than we do. I'd say you even more so than others your age. It's not like you knew a better way and just chose to be with GIRA, you were raised that way. It's only recently that you probably gained enough critical thinking skills to realize it's wrong. Essentially, you were brainwashed. So you are not the same as those other GIRA guys. They actively decided to be that way. You… didn't have much of a choice. In this case, you are still kind of a kid. A kid being forced to be one way is a hundred times different than the adult forcing them. I can forgive one. I don't know if I can ever forgive the other."

Jim shook his head. "You shouldn't forgive me. You don't know some of the shit I've done."

"No, I don't. But you know what you did was wrong. And you're trying to change."

As Scott talked to him, Nadia walked over to where Brenley was leaning against the counter and gestured to Jim, speaking in a low voice. "It might be good to… y'know, talk to him. About, racism and stuff."

"Oh and automatically that responsibility falls to me."

"I mean…"

"Man just because I was born black doesn't mean I signed up for a lifetime of teaching ignorant white people what is and isn't offensive. I've done it way too many fucking times cause most of the white people I know, I'm their only black friend so they end up deferring this shit to me."

"I'd do it I just feel super unqualified! I'd be uncomfortable teaching someone about something I've never experienced! Would you like to talk to him about how shitty it is for latin american immigrants? No, right?"

"Okay so how about you give him a nice long talk about sexism then and what periods are."

She grimaced.

"See!"

"Yeah but you wouldn't be explaining a period to a fifteen year old boy!"

"Jesus you don't have to go into the gory details, he probably knows nothing about them, just the basics."

"Fine. If you do race I'll do gender stuff. And, sexuality. Two for your one."

"Fine."

"Oh and like hell is my talk veering into sex ed. If at any point it seems like I'm going to have to pull a banana and a condom out I'm calling quits."

As he chuckled, Krupin got up and joined them. "What you guys whispering about."

"Uh, giving Jim racism and sexism talks. I mean, he didn't even know that 'colored' is bad."

"Probably a good idea."

Nadia nodded. "I'm gonna do sexuality as well."

"Oh, well I can take that one. I am a certified Gay."

Brenley frowned. "Are you going to tell him that?"

"If you're asking if I'm going to out myself to a teenage nazi who is the son of the man who is torturing me, the answer is no. But I can still tell him shit without telling him  _that_ y'know?"

"Yeah I suppose."

While the 'talks' were definitely fairly awkward, Jim was very attentive for them all. They made it clear that he could ask any questions without judgement. Some of his questions were pretty simple, or obviously deeply rooted in racism and misogyny but it was understandable that he wouldn't know much. It did lead them to a brief bit of confusion where neither Brenley, Nadia, nor Krupin knew if women had physically smaller brains than men. Brenley had explained that the volume of the brain didn't actually matter, it was how 'dense' it was with connections so to speak, but disregarding that fact, none of them actually knew if the 'women have smaller brains' thing was true or not. They ended up deciding it might be true on average as men tended to have larger heads.

Eventually Jim said that if he stayed much longer, some of the GIRA men might start to get suspicious. He thanked them, saying that they taught him a lot, then left.

It was kind of surreal, Nadia didn't know what to think of him. Should she blame him for going along with everything for so long? But, he was just a kid, with an abusive dad, of course he'd do everything his dad told him if he was threatened with violence.

Apparently Brenley and Krupin were in the same kind of situation as they didn't really say anything after her left. The rest of the evening was surreal really. The plan, which had been in shambles before, was finally coming together, which was solidifying the thought in Nadia's mind that eventually, they'd have to actually fight these guys. A bunch of scientists who had never held a gun before versus a hoard of trained gunmen who didn't care about the lives they took. It was daunting to say the least.

* * *

The next day, Krupin was dragged out of his bed when the man they now knew as Derek, decided he wanted to spend some more time with him. As per usual he was sat down on a chair in a separate room. His hands weren't tied but there were multiple guns on him.

Derek crossed his arms. "Ready to tell us now? This could all stop Feliks, it's up to you."

Krupin's eyes flicked to Jim who stood in the corner, head slightly down, then he looked back. "Actually, yeah. But you're gonna get it in spanish,  _puta_. Ready? Okay,  _tomas tu pene y lo empujas tan alto de tu ano que la próxima vez que te masturbes estarás escupiendo mecos._ "

"What the fuck does that mean."

"Learn spanish. Man I bet you don't even know german. Do you even know what  _heil_  means you narrow minded cocksucker?"

Derek glared and took out his gun, pointing it at Krupin's foot. "Repeat what you said."

"The cocksucker bit or what?"

Derek slammed his heel into Krupin's foot and he let out a yelp of pain, grimacing. "The spanish, retard."

" _Tomas tu pene y lo empujas tan alto de tu ano que la próxima vez que te masturbes estarás escupiendo mecos_."

As he spoke, one of the GIRA members recorded it and ran it through a translation app. He looked down at his phone. "Uh…"

"What does it say."

"Well, it says, 'You take your penis and push it so high in your anus that the next time you masturbate you'll be spitting mecos.'" He frowned. "Mecos?"

Krupin practically wheezed. " _Cum_  you dumbass!"

Derek's face was dangerous. He turned to Krupin. "You think this is a fucking game?"

"When I'm being interrogated by someone who is such a pissbaby they think that someone calling them out about being shitty is an attack on white men, yeah I do kind of think it's a joke."

"Just fucking cooperate!" He stepped forward and slammed his fist into the side of Krupin's face and he fell off the chair in a tangle of limbs.

He clutched the side of his face, glaring. "Fuck you."

Derek leapt forward and held his shoulder down with one hand, punching him with the other. "Why! Won't! You! Cooperate!" The other men watched, not sure what to do. So far, Derek had tasered him, whipped him, done all sorts of things. But this was different. It was wild and out of control. He paused for a second, breathing heavily, his fist raised. His knuckles were red and bloody. Krupin lay on the floor, the entire side of his face swollen. He coughed, spitting out blood. His voice was weak and full of pain. "I'll never work for you."

Derek went ballistic. He punched him again and again, until Krupin was unresponsive on the floor. Then he did it again. Krupin's face was a swollen mess and his weak breathing made bubbling sounds as it came out through his blood filled mouth. As he stood up and kicked him in the stomach a few times, Jim watched from the corner, grimacing. He took a timid step forward. "He doesn't look so good…"

Derek spun to face him. "You wanna look like him?! Huh?!" He raised his bloody fist. Jim shrunk back.

"No I just-"

"Shut the fuck up!"

One of the other men stepped forward. "He's right… We want him alive and able to respond."

Derek turned to him, glaring. He was about to respond viscously when he paused, realizing just exactly what state Krupin was in, who wasn't moving. He clenched his jaw, looking away. "Check his pulse. And get that doctor in here."

As one of the men went to get Scott, another knelt by Krupin and put his finger on his throat.

* * *

As Scott entered the room, he saw Krupin's form lying on the floor, unresponsive. "Oh God…" He rushed over and checked his pulse before adjusting his fingers, his face stricken. He quickly let go and shifted over, starting chest compressions. "C'mon c'mon c'mon… C'mon Feliks, breathe." Derek watched, only now did he look even slightly concerned. More concerned about losing his source of information than Krupin's wellbeing though. Scott checked his pulse again then went back to the chest compressions, his expression getting almost panicked. There was a crack as one of Krupin's ribs fractured. After a few agonizingly long seconds, he coughed and his head rolled to the side as he let out a groan. Scott leaned back on his haunches, letting out a breath of relief. Krupin was still obviously fairly out of it as he lay listless, the one blue eye still visible slid around with no purpose as he continued to make pained noises. Scott glared at Derek, getting up.

"What were you thinking?!"

"He wasn't cooperating."

"Doesn't mean you have to beat him within an inch of his life! He might have brain damage from this!"

Derek glared back and stepped up to him. "Listen,  _jew._ Don't start getting all mouthy. I can always kill you and use your understudies or whatever the fuck."

Scott stared at him but didn't say anything. Then he spoke, his mouth tight. "Am I allowed to bring some of my 'understudies' to get him out of here."

"Yeah, whatever." He stepped back and waved his hand vaguely. "Aright, back to your normal positions."

After a brief pause, they all started to leave. Jim delayed a tiny bit, staring at Krupin laying on the floor and Scott crouched next to him. He had the normal GIRA face covering on, as like the other times, this had been filmed, but the one visible eye showed pain, and helplessness.

* * *

They got him into one of the rooms in the makeshift clinic and Brenley soon rushed over once he heard the news. As he got in the room, his voice fell "Oh  _Feliks_.." His eyes filled. "What did they do to you?"

Krupin made some sort of unintelligible noise and reached out to touch Brenley's face, his fingers shaking slightly. Brenley grabbed his hand, interlocking their fingers.

"It's okay Fil. It's okay." He touched the good side of his face with his other hand, running it through his hair. He turned to Scott as Krupin squeezed his hand. "What do we do? What does he need?"

Scott shook his head. "What he needs is a hospital. But…"

Brenley's face became stricken at that. "Is he gonna be okay?"

"I'd like to say yes but the reality is, I have no idea. He has at least a mild concussion which is why he's a bit… out of it. But you also have to factor in he's in a lot of pain and his face just, isn't as responsive as normal because of the swelling. I don't know if he has a worse concussion and I probably won't be able to tell until he's a bit better. However, I think the most damage was done to his cheekbone area, so I doubt he has a skull fracture."

"Could his cheekbone be damaged?"

"Maybe. But, it isn't flat, which means if it is damaged it's only cracked or fractured, it'll heal by itself. Otherwise I'd have to do surgery."

"So, what do we do now? I mean, we just have to wait for the swelling to go down right?"

"Yeah. Normally I'd set him up in a hospital bed with some painkillers but we don't have hospital beds. I suppose we could put him in your guys' bed, but I don't think he'd be easy to sleep next to."

"I can take the couch."

"Actually, putting him on the couch could be better. Less secluded and stuff you know?"

"Okay.." He stared at Krupin for a second, lost for words. He looked like a mess. His skin was split open in a good few places and one eye was swollen completely shut. Blood matted in his hair and beard and his teeth were stained pink. Brenley frowned as he realized something and pointed to Krupin's grossly swollen eye. "He has a contact in there, is that gonna cause problems?

Scott grimaced. "Ooh yeah we're gonna have to get that out." He stepped forward. "I'm sorry Feliks but this is gonna hurt."

Krupin made some sort of mumble.

"Just, stay still, we have to get that out or it could damage your eye more." With one hand, he gingerly pried the eye open and Krupin hissed through clenched teeth, clenching Brenley's hand with a death grip. Scott grimaced the whole time as he reached in with his other hand and fished the contact out. Krupin moaned as Scott let go and squirmed slightly on the table.

"Fuck, sorry about that. I should get the other out too though. But, it's not gonna hurt."

Once he had both of them out, he threw them away then let out a long sigh. "I don't think he'll be able to make it back to yours like this, so let's keep him here for a few hours until someone can help him get back there."

Brenley nodded. "Okay." He had taken his hand back and was wringing it out. "I'll stay with him until then."

"Yeah, sounds good." He then got some ice onto Krupin's swollen eye and gave him some painkillers, but besides that there wasn't much he could do. Without any imaging equipment, he had no idea of the kicks to the stomach damaged anything. There was some pretty extensive bruising there, not to mention the rib he himself had fractured in an attempt to get him breathing again. He didn't mention any of this to Brenley though, he knew he'd just worry.

It wasn't actually until the next day that Krupin was able to walk, with a good amount of help, back to the rooms. His abs were bruised to hell and beyond, he had a fractured rib, and his foot that had been stomped on, while not broken, was very sore. It took Scott and Brenley each supporting one of his arms to get him back. Once there, he lay on the couch and didn't do anything, he didn't say a word other than a small thanks. He didn't even read a book or do something on his computer. He just lay there and stared blankly into the distance.

Brenley helped him whenever he needed food or needed to get up to go to the bathroom and practically waited on him hand and foot. Nadia helped as well when Brenley needed to rest. It was a rough few days. His mood didn't seem to improve at all and he would generally respond with single words or vague noises.

After two days of this, Nadia woke to a faint sound. She frowned and tried to listen but couldn't hear anything so she shrugged it off and turned over, wrapping her arms around her pillow. She heard the noise again. It was faint, but her heart froze when she realized it was the sound of someone crying. After a second of debating what to do, she stood up and pulled some pants on, then walked out into the living room, her feet making quiet pads. The noise had stopped, probably due to her opening the door, but on the couch she could see Krupin curled up on his side, his chest shaking silently.

She felt so bad for him. The guy just seemed  _broken_. She hadn't even known him that long in the grand scheme of things but even she knew that something had cracked within him and he was struggling to clean up the pieces. With a deep breath she walked closer and sat down on the table. He didn't do anything.

She spoke in a whisper. "Hey… are you okay?"

After a second, he responded, his voice in his throat. "I'm gonna die up here."

"No, you're not. We have a plan. We're getting out of here."

"I didn't say you guys would. I said  _I'm_  gonna die up here. I've never felt so fucking scared and alone. I- I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do." He was still facing away from her, his arms wrapped around himself as he spoke through quiet sobs.

"Do you want me to go get Elias?"

"No… no, he's already so worried about me. He's already doing so much."

"Well, I'm gonna stay here then. I'm not leaving you like this alone okay?"

"O-okay."

She shifted positions so she was sitting on the other side of the L, next to his head, then reached out and grabbed his hand. He grabbed it back, squeezing it like he was never going to let go.

"It's gonna be okay Feliks. You'll get through this. We have a plan." She sighed. "And right now, if you don't wanna talk, we won't talk. If you do, I'll listen. It's up to you."

For a good bit, he was just silent, though he hadn't stopped crying. Then, he spoke in a soft voice. "I just wanna go home. I miss Kristina."

"Yeah. I know how you feel. I miss my best friend Sky like hell."

That started him talking. For the next few hours he told her pretty much everything, how he blamed himself for his sister's death, for Elias leaving, for his alcoholism, for pretty much everything bad in his life. Though he had come to realize different, he even used to blame himself for his sexuality. Nadia was no therapist but it was easy to see that this pattern of blaming himself for everything stemmed from his dad placing all the blame on him for things he didn't do, or blowing the mistakes he did make out of proportion.

She tried to tell him that those things  _weren't_  his fault but for the most part, she didn't really know what to say. It was obvious his life had been incredibly hard and even in the last couple years living as a billionaire with a thriving business, he was still facing the repercussions.

It was hours before he started to fall asleep again. Nadia's own eyes were drooping but she had tried her best to stay awake while he talked. She gingerly took her hand back and he made a soft mumble noise. Taking that as a sign that he was asleep, she returned to her bed. Even though she was tired, it took a long time to sleep, she just couldn't stop thinking about him, about seeing a hero of hers sobbing uncontrollably. She knew that everyone got sad at some points, but this was different, way different.

She didn't remember falling asleep, but she woke up the next morning and fairly quickly got out of bed, as opposed to laying there for a good while like she did normally. Krupin was in basically the same position on the couch, he was awake and staring ahead, his arms folded over his stomach. He glanced up as she entered the room.

"Morning." His voice was a bit hesitant.

"Morning." She didn't really know whether or not to address what had happened.

"Sorry for keeping you up last night."

"It's okay. You doing better?"

He nodded slightly. "I don't know what it is with depression but nighttime is always the time of the Big Sads. I've heard the same from others."

"Hm." She weirdly could relate to that, especially since it was only a few nights ago she had been hit by a massive dose of the 'big sads'. "Well, glad you're feeling better then." He still seemed kind of quiet though, definitely not his normal outgoing and quick to smile self.

It was a few hours before Nadia managed to talk to Brenley out of Krupin's hearing range. "Um, don't tell Feliks I told you this but… last night I woke up to him, crying. He didn't want me to wake you because he said you were already doing so much so I just stayed with him and talked with him and stuff until he went back to sleep." She paused, not really sure of what to say. "I don't think he's doing too good."

Brenley gave a tiny, almost sad nod. "I know. He just, keeps getting worse. I don't know what to do. I hate seeing him like this but I don't know how to help. And I know he has a disease and that giving him a good pep talk isn't gonna cure him but it sure doesn't help that I'm shit at this. He'll say something and I'll just stare at him like a damn guppy, trying to think of what to say." He shook his head. "God. Before all this, I saw him cry  _once_. Fucking once. And that was when his sister died. I thought he was just good at taking things in stride. I never considered that he might have just been repressing every emotion he felt."

Nadia didn't really know what to say.

"But, thank you." He said, letting out a breath, "For staying with him. Means a lot to me."

"Yeah of course."

Later that day, Brenley walked over to Krupin, sitting next to him. "Do you think you can stand a shower? You've been sitting there for three days. Obviously that's not your fault just… might feel good to have a wash."

Krupin nodded. "Yeah. I think so."

"Okay, c'mon." He helped him up and into the bathroom.

Krupin was only able to stand up and have hot water pouring on his wounds for a few minutes before he had to get out. As he slowly toweled off and started putting his clothes back on, he pulled his shirt over his arms and started to button it. His bandaged and shaking hands fumbled with the first button but managed to do it. The second was another matter. The more he concentrated on it the more they shook, and the harder it was. Brenley saw his predicament and stood up, walking over. He gently grabbed his hands and took them away from the buttons. Krupin stepped back, shaking his head.

"Let me do this Ellie. I can do it."

"It's okay Fil."

"No no I can do it." He continued trying. His hands tremored, his fingers shaking and slipping off the button. "I- I have to do it. I have to." He finally got the second done and started on the third. This proving just as difficult. "I have to." His voice caught in his throat. "I have to be able to button my own shirt." His eyes welled up and he shook his head. "It's such a- a simple thing."

"Most of the time I can't call people. It's made me melt down a few times, having to call someone. Simple is defined by people who never have to worry about the state of their minds. Simple is different for everyone." He reached out again and grabbed the button, working it into the buttonhole. Krupin let his hands fall to his sides as Brenley buttoned the rest of his shirt. His eyes were far away and his face was vacant, expressionless.


	16. Chapter 16

**Early July**

After a few minutes of waiting around, Kristina looked up as Braiden walked out a set of doors among a group of doctors. Like them, he wore a pair of greenish blue scrubs and a scrub cap, his had little constellations on it. His legs sported some sort of plastic support things. They wrapped around his shins and went up to the top of his thighs. They made him walk a bit funny. He grinned tiredly and walked over to her.

“Hey.”

“Hey. Took me a bit to find this place. All the signs and stuff are in french.”

“Yeah, sorry. But, you found it.”

“Indeed I did.” She stood on her toes slightly and kissed him. “So did you _just_ get out of surgery?”

“Yup. Eight hours repairing a spine.”

“Jesus. Did it go well at least?”

“Yeah, some minor glitches but should be fine.”

She glanced down at the plastic contraptions on his legs. “So you can actually sit with those? I've only seen them on like… shitty medical dramas.”

“Yup!” He bent his knees slightly and she could see the muscles in his thighs relax. “I'm sitting now. I mean it sure ain’t as comfortable as actually sitting but after a few hours they're lifesavers.”

“Why don't you just use-“ She made a bizarre crab-like gesture with her hands- “the robots?”

He grinned and copied her gesture. “The robots??”

“Yeah.”

“Well, they're expensive. So the hospital only has a few. The slots get filled up fast so any surgery that can be done easily enough traditionally is done traditionally. If it has a high mortality rate, the robots are used.”

“Huh. So can you use one?”

“Yep. I like them a lot better because you can sit and there's all sorts of helpful camera views.”

There was a voice off to the side. “Ben!”

He turned and she guessed that Ben was a nickname of his. A woman was walking towards them, a doctors coat fluttering slightly behind her.

“Oh shit.” Braiden said. “Okay Kris, didn't quite plan for this but uh, that's my mom.”

“What?? You never said she works here!”

“Yeah, general practitioner. I knew she was busy today so I didn't really bother saying you were… coming.”

She walked up to Braiden, saying some sort of apology in french to Kris, and presented him with a tablet showing some x-ray images of the brain. She started talking before he could really get a word in edgewise.

“ _Ceux-ci sont apparus, je n'ai jamais vu ce genre de chose avant._ ” She was quite short compared to him with a shade darker skin and an almost regal face, though lines around her eyes showed a sense of humor. Her hair was cut within millimeters of her head and bleached.

“ _Maman_ …” He said, taking the tablet. “ _C’est Kristina_ …”

“Oh! I am so sorry!” Her accent was so strong Kristina had to concentrate to figure out what she was saying. She grabbed her arm and kissed her left cheek, then the right. Kristina had not been expecting this but managed not to make a mess of things. “Nice to finally meet you!” She said.

“Nice to meet you…” Kristina said back, hinting slightly to Braiden to say her name.

“Esther.” Braiden supplied.

“You haven’t told her my name??” Esther said.

“It didn't come up!”

She slapped his shoulder lightly though it still made a smack noise. “ _Pourquoi ne m'as-tu pas dit qu'elle était en visite aujourd'hui_ ? _”_

He gave her a sheepish look and shrugged. “ _Vous avez dit que vous alliez être occupé aujourd'hui!”_

She turned back to Kristina, gesturing vaguely at him. “Sorry about my son, he is an idiot.”

“ _Maman.._ ”

She held her finger up. “Ah! Shht!”

The way Braiden was smiling, Kristina realized that Esther wasn't seriously scolding him or even mad, it was almost like a form of banter.

She pointed at the tablet. “Tell me what you think of that. Meanwhile, Kristina, I hear you’re the president of Vozmet, good job.”

Braiden glanced slightly nervously between them before looking down at his tablet.

“Yeah, though if you're going to start talking about how it's impressive I got this position, save it for someone else. It was luck really.”

Esther shook her head. “No I am aware how you and Feliks started out. I was going to say good job on actually running a big corporation right. Braiden knows how against big business I am normally.”

“She is.”

She stared at him then glanced significantly at the tablet.

“Right, sorry.” He looked back down at it. Kristina smiled slightly. She knew Esther all of thirty seconds and she already liked her.

“Anyways, you're not the normal rich greedy bastards who fuck over poor people.”

Kristina chuckled. “We try not to be. I'll admit when I was first in business school I was a bit of a greedy bastard. They kind of teach you to value profit over lives. But Feliks has had much more experience of getting fucked by big businesses, he put me in my place real quick.”

“That's good.” She glanced at her watch. “ _Merde._ Unfortunately Ben here was right about me being busy. I have an…”

“Appointment.” Braiden supplied.

“ _Oui._ Yes appointment in a couple minutes. Any idea about that?” She said, turning to him and gesturing at the tablet.

He shrugged broadly. “Kinda looks like Creudzfelt-jacob. I don't know though. Ask Dubois.”

“I asked him. I don't trust that man. But he said the same thing.”

“Maybe you should trust him more..”

She gave him a frank look.

“Or… not.”

“That's better.” Again, Kristina could easily see that she wasn't being controlling or anything, she was more just joking around in a subtle way. “Anyways, Kristina, lovely to meet you _finally._ ”

“Very nice to meet you too.”

Esther poked Braiden in the chest a couple times. “Bring her over for dinner you silly boy.”

“ _Alright._ ”

“See you later.” She stood on her toes and kissed his cheek, making him blush, then smacked his shoulder again. “Try not to kill anyone dumbass.”

“I’ll try.”

She turned to Kristina. “And Kris, sorry to meet you like this but you seem great and don't let this idiot get away with anything.”

Braiden raised his eyebrows. “Trust me, she doesn't.”

“Good. See you later then.”

As she left, Kristina turned to Braiden, grinning. “Your mom is amazing.”

He chuckled. “Yeah thought you’d say that. Every woman I've known who’s met her loves her.” Behind Kristina’s back, Esther gave him a thumbs up and pointed at her, nodding. Braiden made a subtle ‘shoo’ motion with his hand, giving her a look.

“And what about the men.” Kristina said

“They think she’s a hardass who has me whipped into submission. She doesn't let people push her around a lot so a lot of the male doctors call her ‘Dr. Bitchley’”

Kristina made a face. “Gross.”

“Yeah. They don't do it around me obviously, but I've heard from some friends.”

She nodded. “I know that feel. Feliks has fired a few people who thought he’d agree with them if they called me a bitch in front of him.”

“Good on him. Wish I could fire the fuckers who call her that. There are plenty of male doctors who are _actually_ bitchy and no one says anything.” He glanced around. “I’m starving, should we eat?”

“Yeah sure. I bought this from the cafe earlier.” She raised her hand that held a wrap sort of thing wrapped up in foil. “But I wanted to wait for you.”

“How sweet. I have food in my locker, one second.” She followed him to the locker room but stayed outside as only doctors were allowed in. He returned a second later with his lunch. She stared.

“You're not serious.”

He frowned in confusion before realizing and lifting his lunchbox slightly, grinning. “What? I like it!” It was a little insulated thing that looked like it was made for a four year old boy. It was green with small simplistic dinosaurs on it and ‘Braiden’ sewn into it. He turned it over in his hands. “My sister got it for me.”

“How long ago?”

“Maybe a year.”

She laughed, shaking your head. “You're weird.”

“C’mon, everyone likes dinosaurs!” He extended it to her slightly, grinning. “Tell me you don't like these little guys. Look at them!”

“Okay… they're kinda cute.”

“They're adorable! Kinda cute my ass.” He took it back, shielding it with his arm. “Don't listen to her.”

“Good lord. C’mon let’s go eat.”

The contents of his lunch turned out to be exactly what one would expect from that lunchbox. He had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich along with some baby carrots, chips, grapes, and even a juice box. Everything had its own plastic baggie. Though it was for a grown man and not a preschooler, so the contents were basically doubled, giving the dinosaurs a run for their money. She watched him while slowly chewing a bite from the wrap.

“What kind of grown ass _neurosurgeon_ no less eats PB&J with the crusts cut off.”

He spoke around a mouthful, holding his hand up to be polite. “You're just jealous.”

“Am I.”

“Yes! How long has it been since you had a PB&J?”

“Probably at least a good twenty years.”

“Exactly! Everyone forgets how good they are.” He picked up a quarter of his sandwich because of course it was cut into diagonal quarters. “Here, try.”

He passed it to her and she set her wrap aside. He watched her with a grin on his face as she ate it.

“Okay, it's pretty good.”

“Exactly!”

She rolled her eyes, smiling.

They finished up and walked out to the parking lot where Kristina had parked her rental car. Braiden decided to just leave his car in the lot overnight and drive in with her in the morning. As they walked to the car, his face fell. “Aw. It's not gaylord?”

Kristina grinned. “What, did you think I was going to ship gaylord over here? For a weekend?”

“Kinda, yeah.”

“You're ridiculous.”

They got in and started off towards his apartment which was a good half hour away. Braiden sat in the car next to her, staring into the distance. She watched in her periphery as his head drooped and he picked it back up with a jolt. She smiled, glancing at him. “Tired?”

He blinked rapidly a couple times. “Yeah. Yeah, long day.”

“Rest. It's gonna be a bit before we get there anyways.”

“Yeah, true. Can I use your services as a pillow?”

“Go ahead.”

He shifted his position and curled his legs up slightly so he was laying sideways in the seat with his head in her lap. After a second of adjusting to get comfortable, he just lay still, his chest rising and falling slow but regular. Kris couldn't help but smile down at him. She had never met any guy like him. He was just so vulnerable and soft. Most men either got intimidated by her having no fear of speaking her mind or just thought she was a bitch, even if they acted the exact same way. Braiden though, he loved that she did that. He never tried to prove how masculine he was and never participated in one upmanship.

A couple times he had gently told her she was being a bit overbearing and she backed off, appreciating the up-frontedness and the lack of anger. And she had to agree that in those instances, she had been a bit overbearing. But for the most part he didn't mind not always ‘wearing the pants’ so to speak. It really showed he thought of her as a person, and not property. She stared out the window for a second, then glanced at the TV across from her embedded in the car. She sighed.

“TV on.”

The TV blinked to life and Braiden shifted slightly. “Why you turning the TV on?”

“Just want to check some stuff. I’ll keep the volume low. TV, sort todays news, keyword: Vozmet.”

It made a noise as it thought for a second, then it spoke in a robotic voice. “I have found 300 video results.”

“Sort by most relevant and play.”

“Playing.”

A lot of the clips were to do with Nephelai, those she just skipped, she knew more about the situation than the media did anyways. While a good bit of the clips were just about random Vozmet related stuff, the rest seemed to all focus on the press conference Carlos had given that day about where Vozmet was headed, and a recent breakthrough about making muscles that responded to electrical signals.

He was way more suited for this job than she had originally thought. Not that she thought he’d be bad at it, it just seemed he was a bit too soft spoken and serious almost to be the replacement for Feliks, an outspoken and charming extravert. However, he was weirdly great at public speaking and quick on his feet with journalist questions. He certainly was no Feliks as far as lighthearted humor and joking around went, but he got the job done, and he got it done well. The press conference seemed to have gone down without a hitch so she only watched a few news clips before turning it off, contenting to just listen to music through her headphones for the rest of the drive as Braiden slept soundly next to her, his head wrinkling the fabric of her dress.

* * *

Jim turned around a piece of graph paper and gestured at it. “Here… I tried my best to make a map. It probably isn't to scale but, just to show what is where. But, um, I don’t know how to write so I don’t really know how to uh, label things.”

“Oh well I can do that.” Nadia said, picking up a pen. “Just, tell me what to write.”

“Okay, thanks.” He pointed to one of the rooms. “That’s, that’s the gun room. We also have the bulletproof vests and stuff there.”

“Right.” She wrote ‘guns and stuff’ in the room.

He continued to tell her what the rooms were for until the full map was filled out. When he was done, he turned it back around to look at it. He pointed at one of them. “What does that say?”

“Closet. It’s just like, maintenance stuff right?”

“Yeah. Just wondering the word.”

She watched him for a second as he frowned at the paper. “Do… do you want us to teach you to read? None of us have ever done it before but, we can try.”

He looked up. “Really?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s, a lot to ask…”

“We don't have much else to do. I can start teaching you while we wait for the others.”

“O-okay. Thank you.”

She grabbed some paper and wrote out the alphabet in both capital and lowercase letters. Now that she started thinking about it, she didn't really know how to teach someone to read. Did she make flashcards? An A on one side and an apple on the other? That might work. She pointed at all the letters. “Well uh, this is the alphabet. I can make flashcards or something, each with a little picture of something that starts with that letter. But for now…. This is A. Like apple. Or, N _a_ dia. It can make a lot of different sounds depending on what letters are around it. Like ah or ay or uh or aw.” She shook her head. “Lord, you never really think about how complex the english language is until you have to teach each letter.” She scratched the back of her neck. “Okay. Well, try to draw it.”

He looked at it as he grabbed a piece of paper. “Is it both of those?”

“Yeah. Capitals are for like, the start of sentences. Or names. Or places. So just the first letter of those things. Lowercase is for anything else. So just, try drawing both.”

They got through the first pass at the alphabet and Nadia was beginning to draw up some flash cards when Brenley walked in. He had been working on finishing up the last touches with the graphene clothes and stuff they had made. He glanced at Jim.

“Oh, hey Jim.”

“Hey.”

Nadia turned and picked up the paper, waving it slightly. “He drew a map and I helped label it.”

“Ah perfect.” He walked over and looked at it, his eyes scanning the paper. Jim watched him for a second before glancing around.

“Where’s Feliks? Doesn't he stay here?”

Nadia and Brenley looked at each other, worried. Krupin had been staying in the room a lot recently. He’d lay in bed in a T shirt and underwear and either sleep or stare at the wall or watch stuff on a tablet. He responded with one word answers or vague noises to any questions and didn't want to get up for anything. Brenley had been sleeping on the couch as when he went into the room, Krupin would turn over and tell him to leave.

Both Nadia and Brenley were trying their best by encouraging him to just come out for a bit or making sure he drank a lot of water and that he got regular showers and washed his clothes. But he did everything with a robotic air. His eyes were vacant as he went about doing what they said. And hed only do an extent. He’d shower and change his clothes but he didn't have the energy to shave or do his normal exercises.

“Hes uh, not feeling well.” Brenley said.

“Oh, sorry about that. Hope he feels better soon.”

“Yeah.”

Nadia sat for a second before glancing over and seeing that the sink was full of dishes. For a second she considered whether or not she should do it or not, then decided that Brenley was dealing with a partner who didn't have the will to even get out of bed so she got up and walked over, starting to wash them. It was never a fun thing to do but it had to be done and they didn't have a dishwasher. After a few seconds, Jim came over to help. He stood next to her and glanced at the assorted dirty plates and whatnot. “I can help, if you’d like.”

“Uh sure, you can dry. Thanks.”

He grabbed a dishcloth and started on the plate she handed him.

Brenley got up to help as well and Nadia flicked water at him. “Too many cooks in the kitchen. Just sit, we can do this. He grumbled a bit before sitting back down on one of the stools and pulling out a tablet.

Her and Jim talked idly about random things. Mainly about her life, given his had thus far been a bit of a shitshow and he wanted to see what an average life was like. When they finally finished, she thanked him again and he explained his break was over soon and he needed to get back. Brenley watched him leave before grinning. “Ooh he has a crush on _you_.”

“What?? No he doesn't.”

“He was asking you a _lot_ of questions honey.”

“Yeah because he hasn’t had a normal life.”

“Mm-hmm mm-hmm sure. Yeah, whatever you say.”

“You said yourself you’re shit at interpreting signals!”

“Yeah when they’re directed at me. I can kinda tell what’s going on when it’s other people.”

She thought back to the questions he had asked her. She had been a bit distracted with the dishes but looking back on it, he had paid her a lot of compliments on a lot of stuff. “Shit. Does he??”

“Pretty sure he does.”

“But he's a kid! That's weird!”

“It would be weird if you liked him back. But this, this is just a kid with a crush on their... teacher.”

She set the glass she was drying down and gave him a frank look. “Alright asshole.”

He chuckled, looking away. She sighed and put the cloth on the hook. “And what if he does have a crush on me. He's a _kid._ What do I even do about that. What if he, says something?? How do I explain that if I liked him back I’d literally be a pedophile.”

“Eh don't worry about it. They never do anything. You'll just get some dreamy looks.”

“Great. Of all the things I have to deal with, a fifteen year old nazi having a crush on me is not something I thought was gonna happen.”

“ _Reformed_ nazi. He’s working on shit.”

“True.”

“Wanna go get dinner? I’m too lazy to cook.”

“Yeah sure.”

He got up and walked over to his and Krupin’s room, knocking softly on the door before opening it and sticking his head in. “Hey babe, me and Nadia are going to the canteen for food. Wanna come?”

Krupin mumbled, his face half in his pillow. “No.”

“Okay… want me to bring something back?”

“No.”

“Have you eaten anything today? You should eat.”

“I’m fine.”

There was a pause. “Okay. We’ll be back soon.”

The dinner was fairly quiet as neither of them really had the energy to talk and keep up a conversation. As they ate, there was a sudden clatter as a tray was practically dropped next to them and Saoirse sat down. She grinned. “What is this, a meal for horses?”

They frowned at her and she gestured. “Long faces…”

Both of them managed a tiny laugh, then a groan.

“Seriously though, what’s up?”

“Uh…” Brenley said, prodding at his food, “Feliks isn’t doing great.”

Her face fell. “Oh, fuck I’m sorry.”

He just nodded.

It wasn’t long before Brenley picked up his tray and let out a long breath, standing up. “I’m- I’m gonna go back. Nadia, you can stay here if you want.”

“I can come back if you want…”

“No no it’s okay, stay here.”

As Brenley got back to the room, he discovered it was locked. He jiggled the door handle a bit. As he spoke, worry filled his voice.

“Feliks?? Are you okay?”

“I'm fine.” It was muffled behind the door. “Just leave me alone Ellie. There's nowhere on this fucking planet for me to be alone.”

“When are you going to open the door?”

“I don’t fucking know.” There was a slight rustle inside. “I'm done talking Ellie. Just- just go away.”

Brenley swallowed and placed his forehead against the wood. “No. Feliks I love you. I love you so fucking much. And I’m worried about you, I'm worried what you're going to do to yourself. So I’m staying. I’m going to sit by the door here until you open it okay? I’m- I’m not going to leave.”

And he did. For the next eight hours he just sat there. He got up to go to the bathroom and grab some blankets and pillows but that was it. When she got back, Nadia sat with him for company for some of the time but he eventually told her to go to bed as it was getting late.

Brenley had nodded off, his head resting in the corner of the wall when Krupin slowly opened the door. He glanced down at him then quietly sat down in front of him. “Ellie.”

Brenley blearily woke up. As he realized what had happened he scrambled to sit up. “Feliks!”

“Did you stay here the whole time?”

“Other than like… going to the bathroom.”

Krupin leaned forward and hugged him, tears leaking out of his eyes. “Oh El… I’m so sorry.”

“Hey, hey it’s okay.”

“I haven’t felt this bad since fucking rehab. I’m worried I’m gonna do something real stupid.”

It took a second for Brenley to respond. “You won’t Feliks. I’m going to help you. I’m- I’m going to help.”

Krupin pulled back slightly, pressing their foreheads together. “I want to get better, so fucking bad. But I don’t know how. I feel like I’m on some shitty ride and I don’t know how to get off. And it’s just getting worse, and worse. And that it’s hurtling towards some eventuality that I never want to reach.”

“I’ll help. If you’re worried then just- tell me.”

“That’s what I’m doing Ellie.”

Brenley’s face was almost stricken as he gently grabbed Krupin’s head, his fingers twining into his hair. “Feliks I can’t fucking lose you. Don’t do anything that you can’t change. _Please_.”

“I don’t want to. I don’t fucking want to.”

“Then don’t.”

There was a pause as Feliks swallowed hard. “You wouldn’t feel sad.”

Tears leaked out of Brenley’s eyes. “But I’d hate myself for knowing I could’ve done something. Don’t make me feel like that Feliks. I know it's selfish but you can’t make me feel like that.”

Krupin swallowed again and nodded slightly. “Then- then I need help. Because i'm fighting a losing battle with myself here. And doing it alone…” he trailed off, shaking his head. “This is killing me Ellie. I've never felt this fucking bad.”

“You don't have to do it alone. I’ll- I’ll help. I’ll always help. But, we should tell someone. I don't have any experience with this.”

“Who does on this fucking planet? It's not like there's a damn therapist.”

“Scott might know some stuff.”

“He’s a fucking ER surgeon El. He probably knows just as much as you. Can we just.. keep this between us? I promise, I'll tell you everything that's going on in my head. I _want_ to get better. I- I won't do that again.” He gestured slightly at the door.

“Okay. Okay but you have to promise me that, that if it it gets worse, we can go and get Scott.”

Krupin nodded a tiny bit. “Okay.”

There was a slight pause before Brenley leaned forward and hugged him. “I love you Fil. So fucking much. And don't ever think I love you less because of this. Because you mean everything to me.”

Krupin shifted positions and sat next to him, curling up slightly under his arm. A few silent tears leaked out of his eyes but from his vantage point, Brenley couldn't see them. He grabbed the blanket that draped over Brenley’s legs and pulled it up.

“El can you sing something.”

His voice was soft. “Yeah, what song.”

“Into the west.”

“That's… I don't know if that's the best one right now. It's fairly, depressing.”

“I'm depressed.”

“Well, yeah.”

“Please? It's not about the depressing bit. It's just, a really pretty song.”

“Okay…” He cleared his voice and started to sing quietly, as to not wake Nadia. She was already awake though, unable to sleep and unable to not listen to them. The walls were thin and her phone was out of battery so she couldn't listen to music. She heard Brenley singing and smiled slightly, recognizing the song from lord of the rings. Her smile quickly faded though as she felt the lyrics wash over her, and hoped to God things wouldn’t end up like that.

* * *

Kristina let out a long breath and ran her hand through her hair, getting it out of her face. “I’m gonna get a shower.”

“Mm. Okay.” Braiden was lying motionless on his stomach next to her.

She stood up off the bed and grabbed her clothes off the floor. “Wanna come?”

“Babe. I’m not going to be able to stand for a week. Jesus christ.”

She chuckled. “Weak. Gay guys do this all of the time.”

“And they should be rewarded for it, fucking _hell_.” He started to roll onto his back then stopped. “Nope. Bad idea. Stomach it is.”

She laughed and shook her head then walked into the bathroom. While she was shampooing her hair, her phone rang. She finished up her shower quickly and walked out, wrapping a towel around her head. Her phone said that the caller was Jan Pearson. She picked it up and called back, scrubbing the towel over her head.

“Hello?”

“Hello Kristina, I just called to say that you are going to be able to accompany us on the ship when we go retrieve the hostages. I checked around and they say it’s fine.”

“Really??”

“Yes, if any violence starts you will have to stay in a certain room on the ship but that’s doubtful as we have other ships coming with us.”

“Perfect, listen can I call you back? I have some questions but I just got out of the shower here.”

“Yes, yeah go ahead. You know where to reach me.”

Kristina thanked her and hung up, then started drying off. She heard Braidens voice shout from the living room. “Kris! Kris you have to see this!”

“One second! I'm getting dressed!”

“Put a towel on!”

She sighed and wrapped a towel around her before walking out. He stood in front of the tv, the remote in his hand as he stared at the screen. She joined him to see a news reporter sitting at a desk. Next to her was projected a picture of Nicholas Vreeland, one of the supreme court judges. The reporter was talking in rapid french. “ _Jusqu'à présent, Baker n'a pas encore commenté un nouveau candidat, disant que le moment est venu de respecter Vreeland et sa famille”_

Kristina frowned. “You know I don't know a word shes saying right?”

“Right right, sorry. Um… he’s dead.”

“What?”

“Nicholas Vreeland. He died earlier today. Stroke. They found him in his home.”

Kristina stared, not believing it. For a supreme court judge, he was fairly young, only in his early sixties. If any were to die of a stroke he was the last she’d expect. She turned to Braiden with a slight smile. “Tell me you aren’t one of those people who says we should ‘respect the dead’ even if our opinions differed or whatever.”

He laughed, shaking his head. “Nah. Fuck him. Good riddance. He made my brothers life impossible. Along with every other gay person in america. He was a piece of shit.”

“You can say that again.” She stared at the screen for a second. “Have they said anything about appointing a new judge?”

“Apparently Baker is saying that now is not the time to be talking about new appointments. Respect or whatnot.”

Kristina snorted. “You know, she hated that guy.”

“Really?? She told you that?”

“Just kind of in passing. But yeah, hated him. She’s just doing this so republicans won't tear her a new one.”

“I’d say so.”

“God I hope she’ll appoint a new one soon, they can work on repealing the sexual health law.”

“Yeah…”

Kristina glanced at him. “Hey, can you get any time off work? Like… a week or so? On kinda short notice?”

“Possibly? Why?”

“I might be able to get you on the ship that's going to go pick them up. Might. I don’t know yet.”  
“Holy shit really?? Yeah I’d definitely be able to get time off then, I’d use whatever excuse.”

“I don't know yet. Maybe if you said you would be willing to help as like, a doctor. I mean, you can do normal surgery right? Not just brain stuff?”

“Yeah, I did my internship like any other surgeon, I just did more after to do brain stuff. I’d definitely be willing to help.”

“Okay good. I think I’ll be able to get you on then. I can be pretty convincing.”

He grinned. “Oh I’m aware.” His eyes flicked back to the TV and he picked up the remote, switching it off. “Fuck you too SCOTUS.”

Kristina nodded. “Fuck you too SCOTUS.

* * *

The next morning, Nadia woke and went into the kitchen to see Brenley making pancakes. She gave a tiny smile. “We’ve been having eggs all this time and we could have had pancakes?”

He shrugged. “Eggs are faster. I just… I dunno. Feliks always loved pancakes so…” he trailed off and shrugged, not looking at her.

“Oh, right.”

“I have to go do some stuff with the graphene in a bit, make sure the jackets and stuff are ready. Could you stay here? You don't need to do anything I just don't want him alone here y’know?”

“Yeah, that's fine.”

They both had some pancakes, then Brenley offered some to Feliks but he refused so Brenley just left them on the bedside table in case he wanted them later. It wasn't like he was never eating but he tended to just eat random snacks, nothing that would constitute an actual meal.

For the next few hours, Nadia just sat on the couch and read yet another of Brenley’s books, Brave New World, and decided it was bizarre. She was glad he had brought so many books, she’d be very bored without them. After a bit, her stomach rumbled and she set the book aside, went to Brenley and Krupin’s room and rapped on the door with her knuckles. “Hey Feliks, I'm gonna go get some food, want anything?”

His voice was monotonous. “No thanks.”

“Alright, well, I’ll be back in a bit.”

“Okay.”

When she returned, she noticed the door to her room was closed. She frowned. She could’ve sworn that she had left it open. Leaving the food on the counter she went in. Initially, everything seemed fine, until she noticed her blanket was kind of bunched against the wall when it was just a general mess before.

Her heart started to race as she lifted her mattress and shoved one of the boards to the side. There was a bit of space below her bed that was inaccessible without doing that. She had stored the guns there as that way they’d be pretty well hidden. Her heart froze as she saw an empty space. The hand gun wasn’t there. She frantically moved the rest of the boards to no luck. Everything seemed to slow as a terrible thought hit her and she shoved the mattress back, jumping up and sprinting out of the room. She ran to Brenley and Krupin’s room and grabbed the handle, discovering it was locked. She pressed up against it.

“Feliks! Feliks are you okay?”

There was a long pause and she jiggled the handle before panicking and slamming her shoulder into the door. It hurt a lot more than she expected. “Feliks!!”

Finally, a soft voice came from inside. “Nadia. I’m okay.”

“Feliks don’t do it. Please. Please don’t. I know you have the gun. Just- just _please._ ” She rested her forehead against the door, her heart going a million miles a second. “Please.”

“Nadia… I can’t fucking do this. You have no idea how bad it is.”

“No, I don’t. But we’re so close. We’re going to get out of here.”

“I can’t stand another second of what they’re doing. I can’t.”

Her voice was panicked. “No, no! No, Feliks think about Elias. What about him.”

“He doesn’t even feel empathy. He wouldn’t be sad. He told me that.”

She frowned, confused. “Even so! He got whipped trying to defend you! He cares so much about you!”

“Exactly. He got whipped because of me.”

“No! No that was those GIRA fuckers. He loves you Feliks. You should hear him talk about you. You mean _everything_ to him! This- this’ll destroy him.” She didn't want to make him feel guilty but she couldn't think of a better way.

“Tell him I’m sorry. That it's not his fault.”

“NO!” She was met with silence. But silence showed that nothing had happened yet. “Feliks what about Kris. What about me? We all care about you so fucking much.”

More silence.

“C’mon… please. Please don’t.” Her throat was clogged. “Please. We’re going to get out of here. You and Elias are _engaged._ We’re gonna get back and you two are gonna get married. Okay? We’re- we’re gonna get out of here. Christ I already lost James don’t make me lose you too.”

She heard the lock click and she stood back, relief washing through her. He opened the door and handed the gun to her. His voice was hollow and weirdly devoid of emotions.

“Why is it empty.”

She stuttered slightly at the question. “I- I didn’t want anybody to accidentally fire it without knowing.”

“It shouldn't be empty. If we need it quickly it should be loaded, with the safety on.”

She stared at him, feeling somehow cold, as if a gust of wind had come through. “Are you okay?”

He reached in his pocket and pulled out a single shell, handing that to her as well. His hands shook so much he almost dropped it.

She curled her fingers around it. “Thank you. For- for not-”

“I did it.” His jaw clenched as he looked down at her hand. “I pulled the trigger. It was empty. I brought that just in case that happened. But- my hands. I couldn’t reload it.”

Her heart sank. She shoved the gun on the counter, off to the side and stepped forward hugging him, tears coming to her eyes. For a good second, he just stood there, not moving. Slowly, he wrapped his arms around her, then started to cry. “ _What did I do… what did I do??”_

Nadia rubbed his back. “It’s okay Feliks, you’re okay, nothing happened.”

“ _I’m a fucking idiot_.”

“No… no you’re not.”

It was almost a minute of this before the door opened as Brenley stepped in. He froze as he saw Krupin hugging Nadia, sobbing into her shoulder. Krupin didn't notice, but Nadia did. She and Brenley locked eyes for a moment as he stared, dismayed. After a few long seconds, he quietly walked over and touched Krupin’s shoulder.

“Hey… what happened? Are you okay?”

Krupin detached from Nadia, his face wet from tears. “I'm sorry El, I’m so fucking sorry.”

“It's okay honey.” He gathered him into a hug and gave Nadia a confused look. “What happened?”

She didn't know what to say and just glanced significantly at the gun on the counter. His expression froze and she could practically see the gears turning in his head as he processed what was going on. Krupins sobs redoubled as he pressed his head into Brenley’s chest. “ _I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry._ ”

For a moment, he didn't know what to say, he just hugged him tighter. Finally, he spoke. “It's okay, it’s okay Fil. It’s okay. It’s gonna be okay.” Nadia had the feeling he was half saying it to himself.

The next few minutes Nadia just spent leaning against the counter and staring at the wall. Brenley got Krupin to the couch and sat with him, trying to help him calm down. Nadia was so out of it that she didn't notice Brenley approach her until he was right in front of her. She glanced up at him.

His voice was soft. “He told me what you did.” He placed his hands on either side of her head and kissed her forehead. “Thank you Waters. Thank you.”

“I’m- I’m sorry Brenley. I left him alone. I wanted food and I left him alone. I- I didn't know what to do.”

“It's okay, it's over now. I don’t blame you. He would have found another way. You saved him Nadia.”

She didn't want to say that the real reason he hadn’t done it was his hands.

Brenleys voice dragged her out of her thoughts again. “Can you go get Scott? I should stay with him.”

“Yeah- yeah okay.”

Over the next hour, Scott joined them back at the rooms and also attempted to calm Krupin down, who was starting to panic a bit. He got him into his and Brenley’s room and talked to him there, leaving Brenley and Nadia in the living room.

Brenley sat on the couch, his eyes far away and blank. Nadia slowly walked over and sat next to him. He glanced at her, his mouth moving ever so slightly to show he appreciated her being there, but that he didn’t particularly want to talk. They stayed there for a few long minutes, not talking. He leaned forward and placed his chin in his palm, resting his elbow on his knee. Nadia put her arm over his back, giving him a slight sideways hug. He glanced at her.

“...Thanks.”

“He’ll be okay. We have a plan. We’re going to get out of here.”

“I just hope we can do it fast enough.” He shook his head slightly. “Fucking hell I’m worried about him.” There was a brief pause as he rubbed his eyes. At first she thought it was to wipe tears away but then she realized he was rubbing them in tiredness. “God I’m falling asleep here.”

“You should rest. Scott can deal with this for a bit.” She reached over and grabbed the pillow on the side of the couch. “Here.”

“Thanks.”

Nadia was not expecting him to do what he did next but she didn’t particularly mind. He put the pillow onto her legs and shifted so he was laying with his head in her lap. His voice was low. “You’re a good friend Waters.”

“So are you Brens.” She reached her arm over him and grabbed his hand. That was when she realized that this entire situation was going to change their lives forever. And Brenley was not just her professor anymore. She could tell once they got off this stupid planet they weren’t going to drift apart, connected only by tenuous text conversations and being not much more than friends on facebook. They had something together, that went deeper than friendship. And that was not likely to fade.

After what seemed like ages of silence, Brenley mumbled, “Waters if I ask a question will you give me an honest answer.”

“Yeah of course.”

He swallowed. “Are you just friends with me because you feel bad for me.”

“What?? Of course not. Why would you think that.”

“Because in my experience, that's what’s going on with people who spend time with me. In highschool I had one friend and she stopped talking to me altogether when I went to college. I’m… I’m just, embarrassing. I talk and laugh too loud sometimes, I say shit I shouldn't. Including Feliks I have three actual friends. Everyone else gives me weird looks and laughs awkwardly at, everything I say. They give each other looks like ‘hey look at this retard, why won't he just shut up.’”

She stared down at him for a second. The thing was, he was kind of right. A lot of people liked him theoretically but as soon as they hung around him for long enough the decided he was just a rather interesting oddity to eventually be ignored, or made fun of. Even James had said he was ‘a little much sometimes’ and Saoirse sometimes made faces at Nadia when he was excitedly going on about something. She sighed.

“I’m sorry Brens. I don’t care about that shit though, in fact I kinda like you better because of it.”

He didn't respond.

“Why are you thinking about this?”

“Because… Feliks was the first person other than my family to treat me _normally_. Who didn't roll his eyes when I spoke.” There was a long second before he mumbled, “I don't wanna lose him.”

“You won't. He’ll get better. And we’ll get off this piece of shit planet.”

They stayed like that for hours. Nadia couldn't tell from the angle if he had fallen asleep or not. Scott was taking a lot of time to talk to Krupin. Eventually, she felt her eyelids begin to droop. Rather than getting up and waking Brenley, who she was fairly sure was asleep at this point, she leaned over and rested her head on his shoulder, folding her arm up underneath her chin. He shifted slightly but didn't wake up.

Eventually Scott came back to the living room and gently touched Nadia’s shoulder to wake her up. She jolted slightly then sat up. Brenley woke as well and shifted back to a sitting position as Scott sat across from them.

Scott let out a long sigh. “Okay, well, he’s asleep for now. I gave him some stuff to help calm him down a bit and it pretty much knocked him out.” There was a long pause. “We have a lot to talk about.”

Brenley nodded silently.

“First of all, we’ll keep an eye on him for a few days and if it seems like, he’s going to try again, I think we should consider taking him off his antidepressants.”

Brenley frowned. “What?”

“Antidepressants don't, cure depression. They help by, giving you energy. Often those with depression can't even get themselves out of bed in the morning, they help with that. With functioning really. But, if someone is feeling suicidal, antidepressants can give them the energy they need to actually go through with it.”

“So… we’d be preventing him from trying again by making him feel so shitty he can't even get out of bed.”

Scott sighed again. “I'm just trying to save his life. We don't have a fully funded mental health hospital here. It’s just me. And as an ER doctor I have dealt with a good few attempted suicide cases but I’m not an expert. I stitch them up if they're physically injured and send them on to better qualified people. I’m not a therapist or a psychologist or anything like that, I’m a surgeon who knows some general practice stuff, that’s it. Right now, short of _restraining_ him this is the only thing I can think of.”

Brenley swallowed at that.

“Honestly, I don't want to do it. So we’ll hold off on that. If it looks like he feels the same way in a few days, we might have to resort to that. If he feels a bit better, maybe not.”

“Okay. And what about the next few days?”

“Well, don't leave him alone. Right now hes passed out on sleeping pills so it's fine but, always have someone in the room with him. Bathroom is fine by himself, just check if he seems to be in there a little longer than normal. Most likely, he will get pretty pissed at you pretty soon about being constantly monitored like this but, you have to just keep doing it. When we’re done talking here, Elias you can go wait for him to wake up and me and Nadia will do a scan of the rooms and remove anything dangerous, knives, pill bottles, whatever. We’ll get this place as safe as possible. We should also take all the locks off the doors. You’ll have to knock a lot more but we want to be able to get to him just in case. As far as outside these rooms, stick to him like glue. Don't let him out of your sight.”

“Okay.”

The scan of the rooms was somehow even more depressing. They gathered everything that could cause harm into a plastic container. The kitchen knives and shaving razors and such were easy but some others required a bit of hunting. Nadia pulled out a pair of scissors from a drawer. “Should we take these as well?”

“Yeah, sure. Just to be safe.”

She walked over and tossed them in. She stared at the container, rubbing her opposite arm with her hand a bit. Scott walked over and put in a bottle full of ibuprofen. He noticed her expression.

“Hey, you okay? I know how… shocking something like this can be. Especially if it’s a friend.”

She nodded slowly. “Yeah, yeah I’ll be okay. It’s just kinda, hard to process. It’s hard to see him like this. I’ve had friends who struggled with depression and stuff before, but never this bad. I’ve always looked up to him too. It’s just… hard.”

“I know.” He placed his hand on her shoulder. “He’ll be okay. I’ve never met someone so, resilient.”

“Yeah.” She looked down at the container. “Where should I put the guns now?”

“I can bring them back and hide them in our rooms.”

“Okay…”

“You should go to bed, it’s been a long day.”

* * *

“Ben?”

“Mm hmm.”

Kristina took a deep breath, she had to tell him. “There’s, uh, something I haven’t told you. I- I’m the reason Elias is on that planet.”

“What?”

“I knew Feliks was going to be there a while. And from what he told me about Elias, I thought it was be something he’d be interested in as well. So, I emailed him. And… and I told him about it. I practically offered him a job. I thought maybe he and Feliks would run into each other there.”

He smiled. “Lord quite the matchmaker.”

“You’re not mad?”

“Why would I be mad?”

“Without me, he wouldn't be there.”

“You had no idea that fucking GIRA would show up. How could you? If you want to go that far back you could blame me for encouraging him to be a professor in the first place.”

She looked down. “I feel bad about it.”

“Don’t. Don’t feel bad. You did in my mind a great thing. You knew they’d be happier together.”

She nodded, looking down. “I dunno about that.”

“Why’d you email him then?”

“Spur of the moment I guess. I regretted it later on.” There was a long silence before she spoke softly. “Why’d your brother leave him. It- it fuckin devastated him. Elias meant everything to him and he just _left._ He didn't even tell him. He just, ran.”

“I didn’t know that. I assumed they broke up for some reason. But Kris, El was devastated too. He never told us why but, for ages he was just in the dumps and depressed and stuff. Took me awhile to figure out why.”

“That doesn’t make sense though. Why would he be that sad if he chose to leave.”

“I don’t know his reasons but… El, he gets scared sometimes. A month into college he panicked and said he wanted to come home. Two months into being a professor he called me freaking out about how he wasn’t cut out for it. How… he wasn’t good enough and he didn’t know what he was doing. In both cases, we were able to convince him he could do it and it ended up great. I’m guessing that happened and once he did it, he didn't know how to go back. Even though he wanted to.”

“But, he could’ve just called and explained he messed up or something.”

“Well, it’s hard to explain, but he’s tried telling me before, basically he’s bad at telling people he’s changed. I don't fully get it. I think that’s why he hasn’t come out to us. When he was young, mom cut his hair because he got paint in it and she couldn't get it out. Poor guy cried for a day straight. I think he was only nine at the time. Not because he’s attached to his hair but because he’s afraid of showing people he’s changed. I think he’s almost scared of people confronting him about change. He doesn’t mind change himself, just when he has to show other people. It even extends to doctors visits and stuff. As in, scheduling an appointment is a change from not having an appointment. I don’t think he’s been to the doctor in a good decade. A while back I convinced him to let one of my general practitioner friends give him and informal checkup just to make sure he isn’t dying. But that’s it.” He shook his head slightly. “I dunno Kris. Sometimes I just worry about him because for the most part he can do everything everyone else does but some things… he just can’t. And I worry something’s going to happen to him because of it.”

Kris stared down, her eyes far away, she had no idea. “Is he mentally…?”

“He’s autistic. It’s not super strong and for the most part it doesn't debilitate him as far as social interactions go, he gets jokes and stuff, it’s just stuff like this. And, he has a hard time calling people. For any reason. The worst part is he’s painfully aware of the things he can’t do and hates that he can’t do them. We keep telling him it’s okay and that we’re always happy to help but… I dunno. He just hates it. And you know I’m ADHD as all hell but I can take meds and stuff for that. When I’m off them, we experience a lot of the same symptoms, but stimulants just make things worse for him. I can’t imagine how shitty it is for him. I can’t do anything when I’m off my meds.”

There was a long silence as she leaned against his shoulder. “Do you think they're back together?”

“I sure hope they are. Elias obviously loves Feliks a whole fucking lot. I just hope they were able to get over what happened.”

“Yeah. The way Feliks would talk about him…” She trailed off and shook her head, smiling.

“I want them to be up there, a gay interracial couple, facing down nazis together and everything bad that comes their way.”

* * *

Krupin couldn't sleep. He stared up at the ceiling, the only sound in the room was Brenley’s soft breathing. This was useless. How on earth could he sleep. How could he sleep when he had to figure out how to go forward. He hadn’t planned on this. It was all supposed to stop. But it was still going. It was still _fucking going._ He sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed, then he just sat there, fiddling with his hands. Feeling the bandage on his left, he slightly dug his thumb into it, letting the pain throb through him. His mind wandered as he adjusted his grip. Was this why people self harmed? Because feeling _something_ was better than just feeling like the whole world was a foggy wasteland? He decided it was almost like 2001 a space odyssey, just floating through the void alone, nothing he said would be heard, nothing he did would be seen. He glanced down at his hands and took his thumb away, deciding that he didn't want to damage his hand more than it already was.

For a long time he just sat and stared at the wall. His mind must have wandered but he couldn't recall anything he was thinking about. He looked back at Brenley, who was still sleeping.

Why did he do that. He was only thing that kept him holding on, like a single light in an expanse of black. And Krupin had almost abandoned him, left him in this hell hole of a world. A thought snuck into his head. _He abandoned you. Why would he care if you killed yourself. He doesn't care about you, just like everyone else. Why would anybody care about you. You're just a burden._

He told that thought to go fuck itself. The only reason he was glad he hadn’t gone through with it was the faint possibility of their future, of cooking breakfast in the morning and sitting outside at night, watching the stars turn for hours. How could he abandon everyone in his life. It would be so easy and yet so hard.

He stood up and tugged a pair of sweatpants then quietly left the room, Elias would just worry if he knew he was going to be by himself. It took him awhile to find the makeshift phone, then it took him even longer to decide to do something. He slowly pressed the buttons, then held it to her ear.

Kristina had set the nephelai phone on the loudest ring possible. It jolted her awake. Braiden blearily woke beside her. “Whazzat? Issit the fire alarm?”

“No no don't worry, Just my phone.”

“Fuckin hell, some ringtone.”

She picked it up and answered it. “Hello?” As she did she got out of bed and rubbed Braidens shoulder, whispering, “ _Go back to sleep. I’ll get it.”_

Feliks let out a long sigh, rubbing his forehead in his hands. “Hey Kris.”

“Fix?”

“Yeah.”

Something was just off about his voice. It was quiet and had no emotion. “Are you okay? What are you calling about?”

“I'm sorry.”

“Sorry for what?”

“For everything. For making you deal with my alcoholism, and making you drag me to rehab, and making you sit up with my while I cried about my life.”

She slowly sat on one of the kitchen chairs. “It's okay Feliks. You don't have to apologize. It's what friends do.”

His voice caught slightly and he swallowed, wiping at his eyes. “I love you. I don't think I ever said that Kris. I love you.”

She felt cold somehow. He wasn't doing good, at all. “I love you too Fix. You're like a brother to me. Even- even more than that.”

He struggled to contain his tears. “Really?”

“Yeah of course. You say I did a lot for you but you did a lot for me too. I would probably be the business consultant for a lemonade stand without you. A lemonade business consultant who still lived in fear of her parents judgement and still thought she was worthless. I'm doing so much better than I was in college, because of you.”

She heard him stifle a sob. “Fix I know it's hard. I know it is. I know it seems impossible and I know it looks like it's never gonna be good again. But I promise you, it will. At some point the fog’s gonna clear. Maybe not now, maybe not a year from now, but it will go away.”

“I just wanna feel happy again. I wanna feel _something_ other than just… desperation.”

“I know. Not to say I know what you're going through but I believe you. I believe you.”

Her own voice was starting to catch. They had been through so much together but this was something entirely new.  

There was a long silence and Feliks rubbed his eyes. “I don't know what to do. I can't fucking feel anything. It's like i'm wandering a ghost town, and there's no one around and there's no way out.”

“Are you taking your meds and stuff?”

“Yeah. They… they help a bit. They help me get up and brush my teeth and stuff. But I’m still lost.”

“Fix I don’t know what to tell you other than don't, don't give up. Just keep fucking fighting. You're stronger than anyone I know and you can do this.”

“I'm trying.”

“Just… please don't do anything you can't change Fix. I'm begging you.”

“I won't. I- I was thinking about it but… but I won't. I'm gonna live. I'm gonna live so that when I finally die of old age or whatever I can punch god in the face and call him a cunt. Cause you can't get into heaven by suicide.”

Kristina chuckled. “Yeah. Live for spite. To just show everyone who thought they could break you can't. Live to punch God.”

“Live to punch God.” He paused. “I’m gonna go Kris.”

“Okay. Remember everything I said.”

“Yeah. I’ll see you in a few weeks.”

“See you Fix.”

As the line clicked, Kristina set her phone down and stared into the distance. There was a slight noise and she turned to see Braiden in the doorway.

“What was it?”

“Feliks.”

“He doing okay?”

She turned to look at him, then gave a tiny shake of her head. “I don’t think so.”

He let out a long sigh, crossing his arms. “I’m sorry.”

“I just wish I could do something. I feel so useless.”

“I know, but you’re helping him, you can't single handedly cure depression but you’re doing something.”

She nodded and ran her hands through her hair. “Um, do you know what time it is on earth right now?”

“Where on earth?”

“Uh, pacific time.”

He brought out his phone, googling it. “8 PM.”

“Alright, I need to call Carlos.”

“You good?”

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine, go back to bed, I’ll be okay.”

He nodded. “Okay. Don’t stay up too late.”

“I won't.”

As soon as the door was closed behind him, Kristina dialed Carlos. After a few rings, he picked up. “Hey Kris.”

“Hey.”

“What are you calling for?”

“Listen, how do you feel about what you’re doing with Vozmet right now? With Feliks gone I mean. You're doing a good job, but how do you feel about it? Do you hate it, or like it, or what?”

He stuttered slightly at the bizarre question. “Uh-h well, thank you for saying I’m doing good…”

“Mm.”

“I guess… I mean it's a bit more work and a good bit more stressful than before, but I don't mind it. I mean I definitely would prefer to at least be able to _talk_ to Feliks every once in awhile to check if what I'm doing is the right move in his mind. But other than that, it's not bad.”

“Hm. Well listen, you know he’s always struggled with some mental stuff right?”

“Yeah.”

“I think when he gets back, which by the way I won't say much because government secrets or whatever but there is the beginning of a plan to get them back-“

“Really??”

“Yeah. Don't say a word to anyone though. Anyways, I think all this shit is really taking a toll on him, especially given he wasn't in the best mental place before. I just think that when he gets back it would be a bad idea to have him go back to whatever 60+ hour work week with all the stress and media attention and stuff…”

“If you're asking if I could keep this position for a while after he gets back, I don't mind. You're right anyways, I don't know how he does this job while dealing with everything else in the first place.”

Kristina sighed a silent breath of relief. “Thank you Carlos. And yeah I still will have to get him to agree but I'm sure he wouldn’t agree to step aside entirely, you know him, so like you said you can talk to him about some stuff.”

“Okay yeah I’m fine with that.”

“Great. Thank you so much.”

“Yeah no problem.”

“He’ll probably still want to work ya know, I’ll just see if I can get him to agree to more of a senior researcher job or something, or maybe still be on the board, just not as CEO.”

“Yeah okay.”

“Alright, well, I’ll leave you there Carlos, thank you.”

“Goodbye.”

She said bye and hung up, staring at the table. After a long minute, she got up and went back to bed, sinking under the covers as Braiden wrapped his arm around her. She would end up not being able to sleep until five in the morning.

Krupin sat and stared into the distance for a few long minutes before he got up and grabbed a pad of paper, deciding on a whim to write some letters. He let out a long breath, staring at the blank page, then started to write. The first letter he wrote was to Teresa. She was dead and she’d never read it but it felt good to put something concrete down, explaining everything, as opposed to just a vague feeling that she’d be disappointed in him. He talked about everything that happened since her death, and how he was trying to save the world, but it was hard as hell. How his mental health weighed him down like a pair of shackles and how most of all he just missed her.

The next letter was to his dad. It was essentially three pages of ‘fuck you’. Again, somehow it helped. Somehow it helped to blame him for the shitty things he’d done as opposed to blaming himself.

He continued doing this, writing letters, just getting all of his thoughts in order. He wrote them to people who would never read them and to people who were still in his life, though he’d never give them the letters. He wrote one to his mother, to Kristina, to his best friend from when he was growing up who he hadn’t seen in years, to Christie who he felt he had abandoned in the looney bin, to his professor who helped to get back on his feet when he was flat broke and living in his car, to Elias. When he finally finished and couldn't think of anyone else to write to, he leaned back, massaging his cramped hand. He didn't really know what to do with them now, but he felt he should keep them, in case he ever forgot his feelings towards these people.

Folding them up, he walked over and grabbed his computer bag, stuffing them deep in there where no one would look. It felt like a weight had come off his shoulders. Even though he was still keeping all the words to himself, they were no longer just rattling in his head. They were down now. That meant a more concrete possibility of him saying them in the future. Of telling the people how much they meant to him, and in his parents case, how much he had grown despite how they treated him.

With that done, he sat down and turned on a movie. He knew a sad one wouldn’t be good to watch so he watched ‘What We Do in the Shadows’ and smiled for the first time in days.

Surprisingly, by the time the early hours of morning rolled around, he was feeling a lot better. The night had given him time to think, to decide on a new course of action, something that would get him out of this place alive.

His stomach rumbled and he glanced at the kitchen, spotting a bottle of syrup on the counter. He completely forgot that Elias had made pancakes which he’d refused. Now he’d like nothing better. Searching around the kitchen showed no signs of a recipe book or even a piece of scratch paper with scribbled ingredients. After a few minutes he let out a long sigh then returned to the room. He opened the door then just stood in the doorway as the light cast onto Brenley. “El.”

He woke up and turned to look at him. “Were you up??”

“Yeah, don't worry though, I wasn't doing anything. Just couldn't sleep.”

He sat up, squinting in the light. “Did you sleep at all?”

“No.”

“You okay?”

“Yeah. Listen, whats your pancake recipe.”

“What??”

“Your pancake recipe. I’d google one but… no wifi. And we don't have a cookbook or anything.”

“Crepes or pancakes.”

Krupin glanced to the side, working his jaw. “Kinda liking the idea of crepes.”

“Well those are just flour eggs butter and milk until it's an okay consistency.”

“I wouldn’t know an okay consistency if it bit me in the ass.”

Brenley stared at him for a second. It was too early to be processing this sudden turn around in mood. “Um. Okay… okay I’ll be up in a second. I’ll show you.”

“Alright, thanks.” He turned and closed the door. Brenley blinked in confusion. Krupin certainly wasn't his normal cheery self but he seemed to be at least at a 60% mood when the past few days had been in the negatives. He got up and got dressed before walking out.

Krupin stood at the counter where he had arranged all of the ingredients and was reading some text off the bag of flour as waited. He looked up. “Hey, got all the stuff.”

“Yeah…” Brenley walked over and grabbed the flour, pouring it into a bowl. “Are you okay? You're acting a bit weird. Well not _weird_ but it’s just, a big change.”

“I'm fine.” He watched intently as Brenley added the milk then stuck butter in the microwave to soften it.

“Want to elaborate? Yesterday was… y’know.”

“Yeah I tried to kill myself. I've had the whole night to accept that. I just,” He shrugged. “I dunno, something clicked. I still don't feel _happy_ or y’know, anything other than blankness and sadness but that's nothing new. But… I wanna make it through this. I wanna buy a house with you and I wanna go back to research and I wanna meet Ava. I don't- I don't want to give that fucker the satisfaction of, of beating me. I wanna get out of here then visit him in jail and spit in his fucking face.” He glanced at Brenley and shrugged. “I wanna live. I don't know how long this feelings gonna last ‘cause historically it hasn’t been very long but, I wanna take advantage of it while it lasts. I still feel like shit and I know once we get out of here I’ll still feel like shit but, but at least I got a shot at… not feeling like shit. At some point.” He smirked. “A light at the end of the tunnel…”

Brenley gave him a frank look. “I dunno how ready we are for gallows humor.”

“I'm the one who did it! I should get my say.”

“Sure. I guess. But uh, that's good. The not wanting to die bit. And, hopefully in the future, you won't feel like shit.”

Krupin smiled. “God the bar for myself is in the fucking ground and my brain just takes out a damn shovel and starts digging.”

Brenley stirred the batter up. “Aw don't be mean to her, I like that brain.”

“She sucks Elias.”

Brenley smiled and grabbed the side of his head, kissing his hair. “She doesn't suck. She’s just a lil broken. Like mine.”

“Aw I love your broken brain.”

“Then trust I love yours too.”

It wasn't long before Brenley had a small pile of crepes piled up under a kitchen towel for warmth and they sat at the table to eat them.

Krupin had a tiny smile on as he watched Brenley carefully spread lemon and sugar on his and make sure it was incredibly even before rolling it up with minute precision. It was another little quirk of his with eating, making sure everything was perfect before he bit into it.

As he rolled his own crepe, he looked up. “Do you know when I realized I was in love with you?”

Brenley smiled. “When?”

“When you gave that homeless guy your lunch.”

Brenley laughed. “Really? Aw that’s so much more romantic than when I realized.”

“And when was that.”

“When you drank the ronald reagan and immediately threw up in the sink.”

Krupin laughed, shaking his head. “Christ yeah, what was in that thing again?”

“Um. Jaeger, vodka, mayo, soy sauce, nutmeg, vanilla flavoring, mustard, sardine juice…. Milk.”

“God yeah. So fucking nasty. That haunts me to this day.”

“It was funny though.”

“Yeah I didn't appreciate you being on the floor laughing while I was throwing my guts up.”

“I wasn't your boyfriend then. I was allowed to laugh while you vomited up the embodiment of our 40th president.”

“If I drank that today you’d still laugh.”

“Well. Yeah.”

Krupin smiled and fell silent. After a few long seconds he grabbed Brenleys hand, intertwining their fingers. “I love you so fucking much El. You mean everything to me. I'm sorry I did that to you.”

“Hey, it's not about me right now. It's about making sure you're okay. And, we’re gonna get out of here. We will.”

“Yeah. We are. Seriously, I'm really sorry about those last couple days. You… you wouldn’t believe how shitty I felt. And I felt bad whenever I refused your help and stuff but I didn't have any energy to do anything.”

“It’s okay Fil. I know what it’s like not having energy for anything.”

“Well, thank you anyways, for not giving up on me.”

“You’ve never given up on me over the years with my shit. About time I repaid the favor.”


	17. Chapter 17

**Late July**

Brenley knocked on Nadia's door then peered his head in. "Waters, you good?"

"I don't know yet." She got up off the bed and walked around a bit. "I think so?"

Once again, Nadia, had been overcome by period cramps and could barely stand for more than ten minutes. It did give them a bit more time to hammer out the details of the plan though, and more time to make sure everyone knew what was going on.

One of the biggest problems they had was first getting everyone out of the building. It was easy enough to sneak a few out at a time, but everyone at once? That was a different story.

They ended up deciding that people would trickle out slowly, flying away as far as possible, then the last few would be the ones actually fighting. They would be going out the main doors for ease once some others circled back on Harpies and banshees to make sure they had cover. Nadia had given those who would be leaving last her best attempt at a shooting and gun safety lesson, though ammo was hard to come by, even with Jim's help, and each person was only able to get a few practice shots in.

The guns were another issue, one that meant some people would have to go with Jim to get guns from the GIRA base, then bring them back to the others. Then, Nadia would go with Brenley to try to get the Beyersdorf down so that the military ships could come help. If they let the military in without getting off the surface of the planet, it could be bad and turn into a tense negotiation which would probably end in the deaths of some of the hostages.

Nadia glanced at Brenley who had a bit of a vacant expression. "You good there Brens?"

"I'm just… stressed."

"Yeah, same."

He nodded slowly. "It's just, everyone is counting on me to be able to disable the Beyersdorf. And… I don't know if I can do it."

She frowned. "What? You're amazing at physics!"

"No, I'm not."

"Yes you are! Other than Buchanan I don't know anybody who's better! What are you talking about?"

He stared at her. "I'm talking about how I was going to get a degree in physics but two years in I was failing half my classes and almost dropped out."

"Wait, really?"

"Yeah." He looked away, swallowing. "I love physics but I'm bad at it okay. You should not trust me to save everyone here because I will fail. Just like I failed my damn finals. Now is not the time to give me some 'talk' about how I'm actually good at it. I'm bad and I know it. Knowing a bunch about how black holes work does not translate into being successful at physics problems. But… I know more than anyone else here. So it's not like I can ask anyone else."

"Well, didn't Jim say that there were hostages who helped with the beyersdorf? If we can find them then it won't all be on you."

"Yeah… I just hope we can find them."

"We will. And if we don't, I remember how to calculate the gravitational potential energy of a bowling ball three feet in the air so we're sorted."

He laughed. "Truly."

"Hey now I'm able to move, we should probably try the thing with Darlene."

Brenley raised his eyebrows. "Oh yeah! Shit I forgot about that."

The thing they had made was basically a huge flamethrower. Really it probably wasn't the most efficient way of fighting but it sure would be intimidating. It had two huge tanks full of napalm, which turned out to be a lot easier to make than Nadia thought. She had thought it was something mysterious and cool along the lines of greek fire but actually, Brenley had just added a gelling agent to gasoline. Apparently this made it stick to targets and made it harder to put out with water. Although the gelling agent itself involved precipitating some rather complex acids but it wasn't any harder than any organic chemistry lab. In order to make sure the tanks didn't get punctured, they covered them with padding and graphene.

After they told Saoirse to go get Darlene, they grabbed the tanks and started to haul them down the tunnel. Nadia and Brenley together had trouble carrying them as not only were they heavy but unwieldy. As they inched their way down the tunnel, Brenley repositioned his grip on it. "You think Darlene will be able to carry all this and a person?"

"Have you  _seen_  her?"

"No…"

"Well she's fucking massive. Huge. Like, almost as big as a siren, but stockier."

"Good lord."

"Yeah."

They got it out onto the cliff after a good amount of effort and Saoirse stood up from where she was leaning against a rock. "That it?"

Nadia took a few deep breaths. The thing was  _really_ heavy. "Yeah." Her arms felt like rubber.

"Awesome. I can't wait to arm my massive fucking daughter with fire. She should be close, It was just a bit crowded with her here so I let her fly off." She pressed the button on her wrist brace and they waited a few seconds before they saw the massive shape of Darlene emerging from the clouds. Brenley gaped.

"Fuck. You weren't kidding."

Saoirse laughed as Darlene landed with a slam and pushed her head into Saoirse's torso. "Yeah. See? She lorge. Big baby." She scratched her neck. "Love you girl."

It took them a good bit of fiddling and adjusting to get the contraption on her. The main tanks holding liquid were hugged close to her chest but in a way that wouldn't get in the way of the flight muscles. Brenley managed to open up the electronics of the normal saddle and connect some wires. He also had managed to add a fairly big red button to turn it on. The actual nozzle was also on the chest, pointing diagonally down. Nadia had suggested near her head because it would look 'like a badass dragon' but Brenley was quick to point out that spurting fire in the direction that one was flying was a bad idea. Unless they trained Darlene to point her head down when Saoirse turned it on, but that would take time. So it went on the chest instead. When they finally had it all on, they stepped back. Darlene seemed interested in the contraption now attached to her body, but otherwise didn't seem to mind it.

"Fuck, I am  _dying_  to test this out." Saoirse said, a cheshire cat grin adorning her face.

"Same." Brenley said, sporting an identical grin. Nadia decided that the two of them should never be left alone with science tools without adult supervision. She crossed her arms.

"We have to go far away though, GIRA has landers and stuff around here."

Both Saoirse and Brenley groaned. "Ugh, fine."

Saoirse got on Darlene, and like Nadia expected, they took off no problem. After Brenley and Nadia also got into the air, they flew to a remote peak a good few miles away from any peaks occupied by GIRA.

Saoirse circled around the mountain, looking down. "As much as I want to just slam this, I'm gonna start small so it doesn't scare her."

"That's a good idea." Brenley said.

"Oooookay…."

Nadia watched as a tiny burst of flame licked out from the nozzle and quickly burned out below Darlene. The banshee jolted and shied away, flying higher. Over the coms Saoirse could be heard trying to calm her down. "Hey hey, it's okay girl, it's okay, it's not gonna hurt ya."

She continued doing the tiny spurts of flame until Darlene was used to it. Then, she did slightly larger ones, then slightly larger. Finally, she let out a long breath. "Okay lads, I'm gonna try it, gonna try mowing some shit down."

Nadia grinned. "Can't wait."

Darlene flew away from the peak for a second then circled back and dove, skimming relatively close to the snow, probably about twenty feet above. Saoirse shouted, "LETS GO!" and slammed the button, holding it. Fire erupted from the contraption, spilling out in massive plumes that instantly melted the ice. Smoke billowed up behind them, dark and dirty it roiled like a storm. Saoirse whooped as Darlene pulled up and the fire stopped, disappearing into wisps in the air. On the exposed rocks though, it continued to burn for a few seconds before winking out.

"Elias Brenley I fucking love you! Wait, what's your middle name?"

Brenley laughed at her excitement. "Sacha."

"Wait really?"

"Yeah."

"Your middle name is  _Sacha?_ " Nadia said. "That's amazing!"

"Thank my mom for that one."

"I'm calling you Sacha from now on."

"Wonderful."

"Anyways," Saoirse said, "Elias Sacha Brenley I fucking love you."

He laughed again. "Thanks I guess? But, it was Nadia's idea. I just helped it… come to fruition."

"Well I love both of you."

"Aw shucks," Nadia said in a terrible southern accent. "That's mighty sweet of you."

* * *

A few hours later, they stood around the kitchen table with Jim and Heidi, looking at the map he had drawn.

"I uh, I can probably get two uniforms. Past that, I don't know."

"Well, I know how to use a gun, so I should go," Nadia said.

"Well if she's going I'm going," Brenley said.

Krupin frowned. "El… no."

"I'll be okay Feliks. I'm not letting Nadia go alone."

"Because you of course are an expert on sneaking into Nazi bases and I would instantly die without you," Nadia said, her voice dry.

"No it's not that! None of us have any fucking experience but out of all of us, you're the closest to having some. I know that. It's just… imagine if Sky was going to do this alone."

Nadia stared at him, she knew that he considered her a friend but now she got the sense that he genuinely cared about her. And thinking about it, if he went in alone she'd want to go with him as well. "Okay… fine."

"El!" Krupin protested. "Don't go, It's too dangerous."

"If everything goes to plan they won't even know we were there."

"And if everything doesn't go to plan?"

"We're all gonna end up trying to fight these fuckers anyways. I don't think it's gonna be much more dangerous than staying here."

Heidi looked between them, seeing if they were done. "Is it the smartest idea to send, well, a black man and a woman into a neo nazi base? It's all white men. I, assume so at least." She glanced at Jim for confirmation.

He nodded. "Yeah. All white guys."

"We'll have the headcovers. We won't want to be talking much so Nadia probably won't be found out by her voice."

"Also," Nadia said, butting in. "Jim says there's hostages there. If we say we're with them and take off our headcovers to show we're just two more white guys? They won't trust us. Or, they might but it would take a long time to convince them. This way, they'll be more likely to trust us."

"That's a good point." Brenley said, pointing at her. "She's right."

"Okay… okay you two can go." Heidi said. "Jim, see if you can get those uniforms. But be careful about it."

"I will." He paused for a second. "I'm not due back for a few minutes, do you know where Scott is?"

Nadia glanced at Heidi. "Probably the clinic place, right…?"

"Yeah, probably."

"Okay, thanks." He took a piece of paper out of his jacket and waved it a bit. "I tried to write down some sentences." Scott had volunteered to be his main teacher so to speak in his effort to learn to read. He said that he had already taught two kids to read, probably wouldn't be too much different with Jim.

"Oh, right," Nadia said. "Good job!"

"Well… I don't know if they're right yet."

"But you're working hard at it."

He nodded, his face coloring the tiniest bit and Nadia decided that complimenting him was a dangerous activity for her.

"After you're done, could you tell him to come here?" Brenley said. "I have some questions for him."

"Uh, sure."

It was only a few minutes before Scott showed up. "Hey, you needed me?"

"Yeah, here look at the map. We are going to need to take those guards out." Brenley said, pointing at the little dots where Jim said there were guards. "We can't just waltz out with half their guns and some hostages."

The others gave affirming nods and he glanced up at Scott. "I know chloroform is just, movie magic right?"

"Yeah. It would take a good few minutes to knock someone out on chloroform."

"Is there anything like that that would work?"

"I mean… there are some things called knockout gasses, but again they take a few minutes. Unless, do we care if they live?"

Everyone shook their heads.

"Alright then, well, with a lot of those gasses if you give someone a super high dose, it can knock them out in less than a minute and after the first few seconds they'd start to get all woozy and won't be able to struggle much. That's normally not done because it's super dangerous and can kill someone, but… they're nazis." He smirked. "Kind of ironic we'd be killing them with gas…"

Krupin raised his eyebrows. "Good lord."

"I'm jewish! I can say that."

Krupin tilted his head in acknowledgement.

"How would we get it to them though?" Brenley said. "I assume we can't just, soak a rag in it."

"No, not really. But, if you took a small tank and attached a mask to it you could just sneak up behind them, get the mask on their face, and press a button to release it. I could tell you how much gas you'll need to knock someone out and we could rig the buttons to only release that amount so we don't waste it."

"Alright, and where will we get this gas?"

"There's some fairly old stuff, from like, world war two I think? BZ? that would be easy enough to synthesize you'd think."

"Well if you know how to do that, or just know the structure I can try to do that."

"Fairly sure the name is 3-Quinuclidinyl benzilate. If you give someone half a gram of it, that's way over the median incapacitating dose. They should be down fast."

As he said it, Brenley scribbled down the structure. Nadia had no idea how he was able to do that so fast. She'd have to think through it a good bit and still probably have to google some organic chemistry terms. A thought came to her as she watched him.

"Ooh!" She said. "I used to work at a coffee shop, the metal whip cream things have these tiny little gas cylinders! I'm fairly sure the kitchen would have some since I saw that type of whip cream thing there. Could we use those? They're super tiny but we could just bring a couple along and attach new ones when we need."

"How tiny are they?"

"I think they're 10 centimeters cubed on the inside? And I know they hold around 8 grams of nitrous oxide."

Brenley wrote out some molar mass conversions. Then frowned. "I think I did that right but that means we won't need new ones. They'd hold like… 60 grams of the stuff. And if we only need half a gram each time I think we would be fairly set."

"Sixty grams?" Nadia said.

"Yeah. It's a super heavy molecule but PVNRT only counts in moles. It's the same amount of moles as the N2O." He had a weird habit of referring to compounds with the letters rather than their actual names. Maybe he was just as bad with compound names as with human ones.

"Well that works." Scott said.

"Actually… we probably should uh… kill them. Once they're down. If they get back up when we were sure they wouldn't, we're fucked. And if movies are at all accurate, that will happen."

"Well, a potassium chloride injection will stop the heart. I could give you a bottle or so of that and some syringes."

"Oh okay, that was easy."

"Alright, well see if you can make that BZ. I'll see if I can get some others to try and work out how to refill the tiny gas things and also attach gas masks."

He left after saying a goodbye and Heidi left shortly afterwards, saying she'd return once Jim got the uniforms. After the door closed, Krupin glanced at Brenley.

"You're really going?"

Nadia realized that he had barely said anything since Brenley decided to go.

"I'll be okay."

Krupin just stared at him.

Nadia broke the silence. "Uhhh I'm gonna go. I don't think I would help much in this discussion." She awkwardly left the room and went into the commons to find something to do. She was a bit worried how Krupin would react to this. While he was certainly doing a lot better than before, he was still quite fragile. At one point he accidentally knocked a glass of juice over and it had shattered on the floor. He stared at it for a second, then sat down heavily on a chair and started to cry.

It just showed that a lot of his demeanor was him holding stuff in, and the tiniest thing could cause the dam to break and all of his emotions would come flooding out. Usually these little episodes didn't last very long and he'd quickly regain control, but it really showed Nadia that he definitely wasn't doing as good as he seemed. And Brenley deciding to do something this dangerous might not be great for his already frail mental state.

When Nadia returned later, she saw Brenley sitting on the couch and looked at him. "What's the verdict…?"

"I'm going."

"And Feliks?"

"He's just in the bathroom, he agreed. We didn't, fight or anything, we just kinda talked about the pros and cons and stuff." He shrugged. "We decided that doing this isn't much more dangerous than staying here and trying to escape."

Nadia nodded. "Okay. I gotta say, I'm kinda glad you're coming."

He gave a faint smile.

* * *

The next day, Jim walked up to the door and knocked on it discreetly. Nadia opened it. "Oh, hey, come in." He slipped in and opened his jacket, showing he had two headcovers and two pairs of the GIRA gloves.

"I can't really get the whole uniforms at one time, just piece by piece."

"Yeah yeah that's fine."

Brenley stood up off the couch and went over to them, picking up one of the headcovers, looking at how big the eye holes were. "Hm. This might be a bit of a problem. You'll probably be able to still see my skin." He slipped the hood on and looked up.

Jim frowned. "Yeah... you can still see the skin around your eyes a bit."

Nadia squinted at him. "I mean, it's not  _super_  noticeable from a distance but, yeah, up close it's fairly obvious."

They all sat and thought for a few seconds before Nadia looked up. "I have a container of liquid foundation. If I layer it on thick as hell I can probably make the skin around your eyes look…"

"Pasty?"

"Yeah."

He shrugged. "Aright. We can try."

Jim glanced between them. "Nadia… you going might not be the smartest idea."

"Why?"

He gestured awkwardly. "Well uh, you're a girl."

"And?" Her tone was a bit biting. She couldn't really blame him for being raised to have shitty beliefs but it was still annoying.

His face colored. "Well it's just, none of the GIRA members are women. Like… even with the coat on…"

"Oh! Oh yeah. Shit, sorry I just assumed you were being vaguely sexist."

He blushed even more. "Sorry."

"No, no it's fine. My fault. Um…" She glanced at Brenley. "Could I just, bind?"

He shrugged. "If I'm going in fucking whiteface I guess you can bind. Just don't talk much. Even if you try faking a deeper voice it's obvious."

"Oh- okay," Jim said. "Well um, I have to get back to it or else they'll start wondering."

"Yeah yeah, go ahead, thank you."

As he left, Nadia grabbed the bottle of foundation from her room and brought it back out. She got Brenley to sit on a stool and sat opposite him. "Okay, hold still now."

For the most part he was pretty good about staying still but once she had one eye done he started fidgeting. His knee bounced and she could see his eyes flicker under his eyelids. She almost stuck him in the eye with a brush and made a face. "Sit still boy!"

"I'm bad at sitting still!"

"I've seen you sit on your ass for like, 5 hours at a time."

"It's different when I'm being made to sit."

"Here." She grabbed a pencil from the table and passed it to him. "Get ya fidgets out."

He chuckled and grabbed the pencil, starting to spin it.

"Good now?"

"Lemme just get up for a second." He stood up and walked around in a small circle, shaking his limbs out. Once he was done, he sat back down. "Okay. Good now."

"Alright. No moving. If you do I might blind you."

"Okay. I won't."

So she continued, he meanwhile started spinning the pencil. Towards the end, he started fidgeting again but she managed to finish without too much trouble. Once she was done, he opened his phone and looked at himself, laughing. "I look like a fucking reverse panda!"

"It's a good look. Like… a smokey eye but with hummus."

"Oh truly." He grabbed the headcover again and put it on, being careful to not smear the foundation. When he looked back at her, she laughed.

"Okay, I kinda expected this not to work but you actually look like a white dude."

"Really?"

"Yeah!"

"This GIRA guy needs a name, what's the whitest name you can think of."

"Grant. Grant Johnson."

"Perfecto."

There was a noise and they both turned to see Krupin walk out of the bedroom. He did a double take at Brenley and squinted. "The fuck is up with your eyes?"

Brenley got up and walked over, adopting a shitty american accent that sounded straight out of midwest suburbia. "Say hello to your new white boyfriend, Grant Johnson."

"Oh Jesus this is bad. I don't like this at all."

"You reverse racist? You racist against white people?"

Krupin laughed and shoved him in the shoulder. "Shut the fuck up, you're the worst."

Brenley chuckled, pulling the headcover off. "Found a way to make me look more nazi-ish."

"Exactly what I wanted my boyfriend to look like."

"Ah perfect." He grabbed his face and kissed him. Once they broke, he spoke over his shoulder. "Ay Waters, mind skedaddling for a bit?"

She rolled her eyes as she got up. "Yeah, whatever. Have fun ya nasties."

"Absolutely we will."

* * *

Heidi glanced over at Jim as he sat on the couch, slowly making his way through some very simple sentences Scott had written out for him, mouthing the words. He had gotten them most of the pieces needed for two uniforms, they only needed another pair of boots and pants. Heidi spoke under her breath. "What are we going to do about him… when we get back."

Krupin took a deep breath. "Are they going to prosecute him along with the rest? Or because he helped us.. God I don't know."

"I think because of his age, and the fact that without him we'd be fucked, we can get him pardoned. Worse comes to worst Feliks you know the president right?"

"Kind of."

"Well you're on the science advisory board thing right?"

"Yeah."

"Well worse comes to worst you can try and get her to give him a pardon, if he's prosecuted. We could get everyone here to sign something saying they want that, we're the victims after all, if we want him to be pardoned they might listen. But, if we do that, what then? He's fifteen. We can't just let him off to fend for his own. Would he go in a foster home or something?"

Brenley glanced at him then back at Heidi. "I don't want him to go to a foster home, where he doesn't know anybody. As much as I doubted him at first he's a good kid."

"I'll take him." Scott said.

They all turned, surprised.

He shrugged. "Might take my wife a bit of convincing to raise a former nazi but…"

Krupin frowned. "Are you serious?"

"Yeah. My boys are both off in grad school now. He won't intrude much on them. And, like you said Elias, he's a good kid. I can help him get back on a normal track, maybe even get him into college down the line, though I expect his education up to this point may be lacking so he'll probably need some extra classes and stuff."

They all stared at him and he shrugged. "I mean why not? My wife wasn't really enjoying being an empty nester anyways. Plus he's almost an adult. It's not like we'd be adopting a one year old or something. All he needs is a home and education and stuff. He doesn't need to be… raised."

"You're a lifesaver Scott."

"I mean, he needs a home right?"

"Yeah." Krupin nodded. "Well listen, any expenses, even food and stuff, they come out of my pocket okay? And before you start protesting, paying for his schooling and stuff is like a quarter falling out of my pocket. I don't mean to brag but I have a lot of stock in a lot of companies. Cashing out a few ain't gonna do much. It barely influences me at all. But paying for all that would influence you."

"Okay. Okay, thank you Feliks."

"No problem." He reached out and slapped Scott's shoulder. "You're a good man."

Scott looked over. "Well, might as well go ask if he's up for that." He took a deep breath then walked over. "Hey Jim, can I talk to you for a second?" The others watched him, still a bit in shock at what he had offered to do.

Jim glanced up. "Uh, yeah, okay."

"Here, come with me." He led him into a different room then turned, pausing as he gathered his words. "Listen, I'm sure you have been wondering what's going to happen once we get back. To you I mean."

He nodded. "Yeah. I- I was gonna ask."

"Well, if you're okay with it, I was thinking you could… come back with me."

Jim gave him a confused look.

"As in, come live with me and my wife."

His eyes went wide. "Really? Do you mean like, for a little bit or?"

"No, I mean until you're old enough to live on your own."

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah. You could, be part of my family."

"Oh my god, thank you!" He stepped forward and hugged Scott. Scott let out a slight laugh and patted his back.

"It's okay, you need a home."

Jim stood back. "Your family, do you have a wife?"

"Yeah. Ruth. And two boys, Michael and Jack. Both of them are in grad school now though, they just come back to visit every once in awhile."

"Will they be okay with, well, me?"

"Yeah I'm sure they will."

Jim smiled and nodded, looking away. "Thank you... I- I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything."

"Well, thank you. So much. I didn't know what was gonna happen to me, I didn't know if I was gonna be put in jail or- or kept in government custody or somethin'. Thank you." His face was lit up in a huge grin, it was the first time he seemed genuinely happy.

As they were in the other room, Nadia looked at the others. "Hey I just thought of something. We are gonna be using harpies and banshees and stuff as we escape. He… might not be great around them."

"Ooh yeah," Brenley said, grimacing. "Poor guy won't want to go near them."

"What if we introduce him to one? Show they're nice and all. I mean, siren's are wild, they're a whole different thing."

That's how she ended up standing on the cliff outside the drainage hole with Jim as he nervously looked around. His happiness from before was gone entirely, replaced by acute fear. He shrank back against the cliff face as Sputnik landed with a slam, looking like he was going to bolt for the drainage hole. Nadia reached out, stroking Sputs face. "It's okay, he's nice."

He swallowed. "He's big."

They had decided that Sputnik was the best to introduce him to. Ceylon was moody and often nipped at people, especially if they weren't Brenley, and while Hephaestion was nice, he liked people a little  _too_ much and had a tendency to knock them over in his excitement, Darlene was also nice, but kind of terrifyingly huge. Nadia scratched Sput's chin, showing that he didn't mind people touching him. "Do you like dogs?"

Jim nodded silently.

"These guys are just like big puppies. A siren… they're like wolves. Yeah they look a lot like dogs but they're wild."

"Dogs sometimes attack people."

"If you hurt them they will. Or if they're used to people hurting them. This guy is really nice. He's never gotten remotely mad at anyone. Here, why don't you try petting him. You don't have to if you're not comfortable with it, but I just want you to see he's not gonna hurt you."

"Okay…" He hesitantly stepped forward, hand extended. Sputnik stuck his head forward, sniffing it. Jim's hand flinched slightly but then he reached up and stroked Sput's nose. Sput pressed into it, making the soft hum sound of happiness. A tiny smile inched onto Jim's face as he scratched him.

"Hey boy…" He turned to Nadia. "What's his name?"

"Sputnik. Or just Sput."

"Am I gonna have to ride one of these?" He flinched as Sputnik shifted to scratch his flank.

"Well, we are probably going to just meet you on the peak, then once we have the weapons we'll send them back on a whale. One of the big floaty guys."

"You  _ride_  those?"

"Yeah. Those you have nothing to worry about. They're basically plants."

"Oh.. okay."

She looked around at the bank of clouds, breathing in the cold air and feeling it spike in her lungs. It would be weird being back in a place with temperatures above freezing. "When do you think you can get the rest of the uniforms by?"

"Probably by tonight if I can come back here from the other peak. Definitely by tomorrow morning."

She nodded, swallowing. "So I guess tomorrow might be the day huh."

"Yeah." There was a long pause before he spoke again. "I- I know you're kinda leading some of this stuff 'cause you can shoot a gun, just, be careful. The GIRA guys have been shooting since they were born. I just…" He looked away. "Be careful."

"Being careful isn't exactly my strong suit but I also don't want to die so, I'm gonna do my best."

He nodded, looking away. "I wish I could be that brave."

"You came to us knowing what could happen if you were found out. That's brave."

"I- I guess."

She let out a long breath and gave Sput's neck a final scrub. "We should go back inside."

"Okay." He glanced back at Sput and gave him a hesitant pet on the nose. "Bye Sputnik."

The night before they were going to make their attempt at escape, Brenley walked into the living room with his computer. "Aright. Last movie, any requests?"

"Have we seen them all?" Nadia asked.

"The ones I have, yes."

"I dunno then, how about something classic. Seems like a good way to go out, if we do."

He glanced at Krupin who shrugged. "Sounds good to me."

"Alright, how bout return of the king. Something a bit inspirational."

Nadia and Krupin agreed so he set it up and pressed play before joining them on the couch. Normally they'd talk through it, joking and generally making comments but today they just watched in silence. Krupin curled up under Brenley's arm, resting his head on his shoulder. The two of them seemed to be savoring every moment they had with each other before the next day, when it was distinctly possible one or both wouldn't make it. Normally Nadia would be a bit uncomfortable watching a movie with a couple who who were sitting like that and generally doing couple-y things but she didn't really mind with them, they never crossed the line like a lot of straight couples did and tonight especially she couldn't blame them for wanting to be close.

When the movie finally finished, she looked over to see both of them had fallen asleep. It had been easy to tell when Brenley fell asleep as his almost constant foot jiggling had stopped She closed the computer and got up, crossing over to them and touching his shoulder. "Hey, go to bed."

He blinked sleepily. "Oh. Right, thanks." He woke up Krupin who made a complain-y noise. They all headed off to bed, though Nadia would not be able to sleep until the early hours of the morning.

* * *

Nadia stared in the mirror. Already her heart was racing. She picked up the bandage she had gotten from Scott and held it to her chest, starting to wrap it around herself. He had warned her that it would not be good for her ribcage and she probably shouldn't wear it, but after telling him she was only going to have it on the one time for a few hours at most, he relented. All those movies and stuff that depicted binding made it seem so easy. It was not. She actually had to pull it really tight to make it look vaguely convincing and it was stupidly hard to get even. Her breasts kept bulging out weirdly if there was a weak spot in the wrap. Eventually she had it looking passable enough so she tucked the end in and velcroed it on. She turned sideways, looking at her profile. It was pretty weird. She didn't look like a man to any extent but maybe a boy going through puberty or something. It was an interesting look. But they wouldn't see her face so it didn't matter. She slipped her shirt back on and walked out to the kitchen.

She spread her arms out, grinning. "Guess who's a dude now!"

Brenley let out a slightly shocked laugh. "Oh my god. Doesn't that hurt? I've heard ace bandages hurt." Already, he had gotten the foundation back on around his eyes, along with some primer and setting powder so it wouldn't come off.

"I mean, it sure isn't comfortable. And I vaguely can't breathe. But it doesn't like… hurt."

"Huh. Well, get everything but the coat on for now. We're gonna meet Heidi and stuff in the room before the drainage hole. Also make sure your stuff is packed cause once the government chases off GIRA they can come pick up all our stuff."

"Right, yeah." She turned back and went into her room to get everything ready.

Once she had all but the coat on, she looked around her room. It was going to be the last time she would be here for a long while. She had kind of grown attached to it. Walking over to the wardrobe, she opened it and rooted through one of the drawers before pulling out a large sweater patterned with stars and purple and blue swirls of gas. It was James' sweater, one he wore a lot. Heavily, she sat down on the bed and held it, staring at it. She lifted it slightly and buried her face in it. It still smelled like him. Without wanting to, she started to cry.

They were supposed to get off this planet  _together_. They were supposed to go see a marvel movie. They were supposed to both live.

For a long time she just sat and quietly sobbed into the fabric. Eventually, she just couldn't cry anymore. She wiped the tears from her face and leaned her head back, eyes closed, taking a few deep breaths.

When she got up and looked in the mirror, she could see her skin was red and puffy and the whites of her eyes were pink. She always hated how ugly she looked when she cried.

Her hands wrapped in the sweater, almost without her telling them to and she held it to her mouth, mumbling into it as she closed her eyes again. "I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry. But we're gonna get those fuckers. That shithead who shot you is going away for life I promise."

Sighing, she took the sweater and stuffed it into one of his bags. His family might like to have it back given they didn't even have a body to bury. Then she waited a few minutes before leaving the room, she didn't want the others to know she had been crying.

When she finally left the room, she saw Brenley standing at the counter, he had braided his hair into the two tails again so that it wouldn't be noticeable under the mask. He stared at her then took a deep breath. "You ready?"

"If you mean I have all my stuff in order, yes. If you mean mentally, no."

"Yeah."

She joined him by the counter and he glanced down, looking at his hands. "Hey, just… if we can't do this, um… I care about you. A lot. So, y'know." He reached out and awkwardly patted her shoulder.

Nadia grinned. "C'mere you lanky dumbass." She stepped forward and hugged him. "I care about you too, fucker."

He smiled and hugged her back. "We're gonna do this yeah?"

"Yeah." They separated and she looked up at him. "This is going to be fucking insane."

"Hell yeah it is. Didn't think I would be sneaking into a nazi base at the beginning of this."

"No shit."

Both of them turned as Krupin walked into the room. He stared at them for a second then spoke in a soft voice. "Is it time?"

Brenley nodded. "Yeah."

Krupin took a deep breath. "Alright then. Should we go over there then?"

"Probably."

They stayed silent for the entire time as they walked towards the drainage hole room. As they walked, there was suddenly a voice off to the side. "Nadia!" She turned to see Saoirse walking towards them. "Are you going?"

Nadia nodded. "Yeah."

Saoirse stepped forward and hugged her. "Good luck baby gay."

She smiled and hugged her back. "Thanks."

As they separated, Saoirse pointed at Brenley and Krupin, a stern look on her face. "That goes for you two as well. Don't go dying on me. Us gays gotta stick together."

"We'll try not to." Brenley said.

"If you die I'm following you to the afterlife and kicking your ass."

"Sounds good."

"Aright. Good luck fuckers."

When they got to the room, Heidi was waiting there along with Scott. They checked that they had everything they needed, including the small gas cylinders, the small bottles of potassium chloride, and walkie talkies that had a function that would buzz each other so that they could check if the other person could talk at the moment. Nadia had the assault rifle and Brenley had one of the handguns just in case it went wrong. Most of their other gear they'd need later would be carted over on a whale after they were out of the main GIRA base.

Heidi glanced between them and took a deep breath. "Okay, instead of gathering everyone which would look suspicious so I'm just going to talk to people in small groups. Essentially, just to sum it up, the plan is that Nadia, Brenley and Jim will sneak into the main base. They will get guns and release the hostages held there. Then a whale will be sent over to bring the hostages back along with the guns and ammo. Brenley and Nadia and maybe some others will continue to the beyersdorf station which apparently is on the same peak but in a different building. The cell lines GIRA have will be jammed thanks to help from our friends who work tech.

"According to Jim, given that the beyersorf has essentially remained untouched, we can't really change things at all without them knowing what's going on, so we're going to have to get into the building, lock the doors, and deal with it the old fashioned way. But everyone will be wearing graphene so you shouldn't get hurt.

"As this happens, everyone here will start to slowly trickle out through the drainage hole and fly towards the ship. It's important for GIRA not to know where the ship is so if you get followed, wait until we have a plan to deal with it before going there. The last people to leave will have guns and graphene as once they figure out what's going on, they'll try to stop us. Saoirse will circle around with Darlene to help intimidate them and keep them in the base. Once everyone's on the ship, Krupin will fly us out."

Brenley turned to look at Krupin. "You can fly a ship?"

"Yeah? I  _own_  one. And the company owns a fuckton."

"Well yeah I know that."

"I took flying lessons, why not y'know. By no means am I a professional pilot but I can take off and steer it around. We were going to use Tavis cause he's way better than I am but… he can't move his legs, and there are pedals and stuff you need to use to fly."

"Oh, right."

Everyone said their goodbyes and wished them luck. Heidi hugged Nadia and told her to be careful. As the others filed out of the room, Krupin lagged behind, standing close to Brenley.

Once they were alone, Nadia glanced between them. "I'll uh, step out." She slung the gun over her shoulder and left, going into the drainage tunnel.

As soon as the door was closed, Krupin turned to Brenley and kissed him, pulling him close. "You better come back to me."

Brenley gave a sad smile. "I will. I promise."

"And don't be brave. If the cowards way out is going to keep you alive then be a fucking coward."

That made him laugh a tiny bit. "I'm already a coward. No need to worry."

"Well make sure that applies to Nadia as well."

"That might be harder. I think the part of her brain meant for exercising caution is just… gone. Kaputt. Girl would jump out of a plane with a plastic bag as a parachute."

"Yeah that sounds about right. But anyways, both of you be careful okay? I love you like hell and you got a good taste in students, I don't want her hurt either."

"We will." He pulled him into another kiss, wrapping his arms around him to bring him close. "We're gonna get out of here okay? And you're not gonna have to worry about those fuckheads any more."

Krupin smiled. "Yeah. I love you El. And, I'm really sorry about what happened."

"Hey, I'm the dumbass who left."

"And I'm the dumbass who didn't realize  _why_  you did. But, that's in the past I suppose, just come back cause we got some reparations to make. The whole time we've been back together has been on a fucking nazi planet. We gotta fix that."

"Yeah. Definitely."

They kissed again and as Krupin pulled back, he called over his shoulder, "Nadia! Came back here a second."

There was a pause before the door opened and she walked back in. "Yeah?"

He pointed at her. "Make sure he doesn't do anything stupid."

She gave a tiny smile. "I will. I mean, I'm probably the one more likely to be stupid but sure."

"Have you met him? Dumbass forgets to eat half the time."

Brenley made an exaggerated sad face. "It's a symptom you meanie."

"Okay, well, good luck, and don't fucking die."

"We'll do our best." Nadia said.

After Krupin gave Brenley one last hug, they left, walking down the tunnel. Their footsteps echoed in the silence that neither wanted to break. As they crawled out onto the cliff, they stood up, looking around. Snow was falling gently, a rarity for the often storming planet. Brenley's eyes scanned the horizon, the light off the snow making them appear almost golden. He took a deep breath then pulled out a cigarette from the inside of his coat and spun it in his fingers. "Second to last one."

"Second to last?"

"Yeah. If we fuck up I need another and if we succeed it will be for celebration."

"Makes sense."

He held it to his mouth and lit it. Holding it between his lips as he tucked the lighter away, he spoke around it, "I'm gonna die when I'm forty."

"That's the goal."

"Yeah true."

He took a long drag then let it out in a plume. As Nadia watched him put it to his lips again, she shifted her weight to the other leg. "Can I try some?"

He glanced at her, frowning a bit.

"C'mon. I told you I used to smoke a lotta weed. That was usually cut with tobacco, I've just never had it straight."

He spoke as he held the smoke in his lungs- "Yeah, sure whatever." then passed it to her. Nadia took it and inhaled, pulling in normal air afterwards, then blew it out, smacking her mouth as the strong taste filled her mouth.

"Blegh. That tastes like ass."

"Ass tastes better."

Nadia gave him an incredulous look and he returned a wicked grin.

"You're the fucking worst," She said.

"I know."

"Why the fuck do you like that?"

"Addiction. But like, low key addiction."

"Mm."

They waited until Brenley was done and ground the butt into the rock before calling Sputnik and Ceylon. As they came into land he grabbed the back of her neck, jostling her slightly. "We're gonna live right?"

"Yeah. We're gonna live."

With that, they crawled onto Ceylon and Sputnik and took off. They stayed beneath the cloud cover, using the SWIR of the goggles to see where they were going. The GIRA peak had a few landers around it, either taking off or coming in to land, their engines filling the air with a rumbling noise. It meant they had to wait for an opportune moment before landing behind an outcropping they had agreed to meet Jim at. Nadia's heart was racing as they vaulted off their mounts and did their best to shoo them away so the men wouldn't see them.

Brenley peered around the outcropping, looking at the back door Jim had told them about. "You ready Waters?"

"Fuck no."

"Same." He stowed his goggles in his coat and grabbed the headcover, slipping it on. "Does it look okay? Didn't smear or anything?"

"Yeah, looks fine." She put hers on as well.

They stood there for a long minute before the door opened and Jim poked his head out. "You here?"

They stepped out from around the rock. He nodded. "Okay, good. Follow me, and don't say anything."

Nadia's heart was going a mile a second as they followed him into the base. Men milled around, some in full uniform some not. A good amount still had the headcovers on, presumably after just coming in from outside, so it was plausible enough she and Brenley would have them on. She glanced at him and they locked eyes for a split second before looking back forward. It was evident he was fairly nervous as well.

It was weird seeing the GIRA men in these normal situations as they sat around and talked to each other or ate or messed around. It kind of humanized them. Not that it made them harder to hate, it just showed that they were normal guys. It showed how evil 'normal guys' could be. They weren't just monsters, they were people. But people could be monsters.

They walked a few feet behind Jim, following him to an empty room. As soon as he closed the door behind them he turned. "Okay. I think we have to split up. Me and Brenley will get the guns, and you can get the hostages." His voice had a thrill of adrenaline in it. He was just as scared as they were.

"You want me to go alone?" Nadia said.

"Yeah, there's one guard in front of where the hostages are but that's it. It's the fastest way and we need two people to carry more guns."

"Okay," She nodded, swallowing. "Okay. I can do it."

"You sure splitting up is the best idea?" Brenley asked.

"Yeah. The shorter we stay the better."

"Aright."

They all tested their walkie talkies, making sure they worked, then split up.

Nadia walked towards the hostage room. Her entire body felt clammy and her breath was quick. Luckily, the other men didn't seem to notice anything out of the ordinary, they just ignored her. After a nerve wracking trip through the main common area, Nadia arrived at the hallway. It was in the back of the building which was lucky as there weren't many men in the area. She turned the corner and saw a single guard standing in front of a door. He scrolled through a phone, bored. On his right hip was a pistol, but it was in a holster. Taking a deep breath, she started walking towards him, trying to act casual. He looked up and nodded at her before staring back at his phone. There was about two feet of space between him and the door.

She walked closer. He looked up again as she approached and she held the tiny gas tank and mask in her pocket, nervously running her fingers over the metal.

"You need anything?"

She took one more step towards him. In a split second, she sprang forward and held it to his face, pressing the button and wrapping her arm around his right arm near the gun. He shouted but it was muffled by the mask and struggled, trying to hit her with his other arm. She resisted him, her teeth gritted together. Luckily, Scott was right. After a few seconds he wasn't out but he was very woozy and his movements fumbled. After about half a minute, he dropped, sliding down her front like a limp bag of sand. Quickly, she fished in his pockets for a key to the door, her hands shaking slightly. If any GIRA members turned the corner right now she'd be fucked. She felt something cold and metal and pulled it out, seeing it was indeed a key. After a bit of fumbling she had it open and she turned to it with her back, grabbing the guy by his shoulders and dragging him as she walked backwards into the room.

There were three women in there. Two white women, one with dark brown hair and one with dirty blonde hair, and a black woman with a single braid. All of them looked like they hadn't had access to scissors or anything so their hair styles were the same, long and messy. They were sitting on small dingy cots but shot to their feet as they saw her drag the guy in and stuck to the walls, nervous. Nadia hurried to assure them.

"It's okay! I'm not gonna hurt you." As she said it she pulled the guys legs through the door and closed it behind her, letting out a breath of relief and relaxing against it. The three women stared at her, still looking worried.

Nadia glanced between them. "I'm here to get you out."

They didn't respond.

"I'm a hostage as well." She pulled her headcover off. My name's Nadia. I was on the main peak with all the others. We're making a break for it."

They all looked at each other in disbelief. One of them spoke up, the one with brown hair. "How many others are there?"

"Around four hundred?"

"Four hundred? We thought there was like, twenty!"

"No there's a lot of us. But listen, we don't have a lot of time here, you have to do what I say okay?"

The other two nodded along with the first one.

"What're your names?"

"Sara." The first one said. "This is Alexis and Helena."

"Okay, it's nice to meet you, despite the circumstances. Here, one second." She knelt down and grabbed the bottle of potassium chloride, pulling as much as Scott had directed into the syringe. Not knowing where to stick it, she shoved it into his neck and pushed the plunger. It would probably get to the bloodstream if she put it in the general area of the largest veins close to the surface. She pulled the syringe back out and capped it. Using clean needles wasn't too much of a concern when the aim was the kill people.

The three women watched her. Sara frowned. "What… what did you give him?"

"Potassium chloride. It stops the heart. We don't need him waking up and alerting everyone here."

"Oh. Okay."

She stood back up and looked between them. "What did they have you do?" She asked, fearing the answer.

Helena shrugged, looking down. "Mainly… housework kinda stuff. cleaning dishes, making food for them, washing their clothes."

Alexis looked away, crossing her arms. "We were fucking slaves is what we were."

For some reason, Nadia was relieved. It was shitty what they had gone through but she was worried that GIRA would have forced them to have sex or something.

"Did they ever, make you… y'know."

"If you're asking if they sexually assaulted us, no. Sexual harassment sure but I mean, who hasn't experienced that shit day to day. Y'know, getting your ass grabbed or lewd comments or whatever. Although, it died down a bit more recently, apparently one of the guys got his lip bit off by a girl on the main peak. Karma amiright."

Nadia stared, surprised that story made it back to them. "Uh, that was me."

Sara gave her a look of disbelief. "That was you?"

"Yeah. Fucker tried to kiss me right after they killed a friend of mine. So… I bit him."

Helena gave a laugh. "Damn girl you're straight out of an action movie. Good job with that."

"I dunno about that."

"You just drugged our guard and dragged him in here and killed him then said you're sneaking through a nazi base to save us. Also you have a huge gun."

"...Okay fair enough. But I'm just a grad student with a very poor sense of self preservation. I'm not… fuckin Laura Croft or something. God there aren't many female action heroes huh."

"Preach."

"Alright, we gotta go. I'm not the only one sneaking around, I have two others with me. They're stealing guns." She brought out her walkie talkie and pressed the button to make it buzz. After a second, Brenley's voice crackled through.

"We got some guns. As much as we can carry. These fuckers are heavy."

She held it close to her mouth. "Okay good, I found the hostages."

"Jim says there's a back entrance we can sneak out of, kinda like our drainage hole. If you go along that hallway behind the mess there's some garage thing they don't use. Third door on the left. Meet us there."

"Will do."

She put the walkie talkie back in her jacket pocket and turned back to the other women. It was bizarre having three women all at least a decade older than her looking at her like she was some sort of authority figure. "Okay, I think our best way of getting there is if you guys walk in front of me as if I'm leading you somewhere. Do you know where that garage thing is? Or at least the hallway behind the mess?"

Helena nodded. "Yeah. We've been there. The hallway that is."

"Okay good." She took a deep breath. "Well, we should probably head there. Don't look suspicious, act like normal, like one of the guys is just taking you somewhere. Do they do that?"

They all nodded.

"Okay good. Then I guess, we should go."

They helped her shove the guard's corpse into the corner and cover it with a bunch of random stuff so it just looked like a pile of miscellaneous garbage. Then, she pulled the headcover back on and walked out, the three women in front of her as she pointed the gun barrel at their backs. The walk to the hallway was just as terrifying as when they first came to the base. As they walked, they got a few looks, but she just squared her shoulders and walked with confidence. If they thought she had orders to do this, they wouldn't question her.

A few terrifying minutes later, they arrived at the door and went in. The room was huge and empty, and cold. There were metal sliding doors presumably leading to the outside and some random equipment around, leftover saddles of banshees and sky whales. The three women seemed both nervous and excited at the possibility of getting out.

"The others should be here soon," Nadia said. Soon enough, there was a buzz in her pocket and she took out the walkie. "Ay, we're here."

"Perfect," Brenley said. "We're just here." The door opened and he and Jim walked in. Jim was carrying four assault rifles and Brenley held two along with a duffel bag full of mysterious objects. As soon as the door closed behind them he set the bag down with the sound of metal against metal and pulled his headcover off. "We didn't die!" He walked over and held his hand up for Nadia to slap, which she did. Then, he turned to the three women.

"Hey, nice to meet you, I'm Elias."

The three of them introduced themselves. Sara peered around him to look at Jim who was standing awkwardly in the corner. "And who's this?"

Jim took a deep breath before taking his headcover off, twisting it nervously in his hands. Nadia could see he was afraid of them judging him so she stepped forward. "He's helping us. We wouldn't have gotten anywhere near this far without him."

The women glanced at each other and Helena eventually spoke up, "O-okay. Um, thank you."

Jim glanced at the floor. "You don't have to thank me for not being  _as bad_ as the others."

"You're not just not as bad," Nadia said. "You're helping. But, we should get going. What did you manage to get?"

Brenley gestured to the pile of guns they had. "Six assault rifles, around ten handguns and a bunch of ammo. It's all we could carry. That shit is heavy. I think we need to do a second run." He nodded at the women. "You can stay here. We don't have disguises and stuff for you."

Nadia swallowed and nodded. The last thing she wanted to do was go back in there but they definitely needed more weapons.

Sara's brow furrowed. "You're leaving us here? What if someone comes in?"

"We'll be as fast as we can," Brenley said. "There's plenty of places to hide here. If shit goes bad, you have five assault rifles."

Sara glanced back at the pile of guns. "Aright. Thank you guys, seriously."

"Yeah, no problem." He turned to the others. "We should go. Less we stay here the better."

So they headed back in. Nadia didn't want to tell the other two how terrified she was of this entire situation. She had done some stupid shit in her life, including trying to surf down stairs on a cafeteria tray, but nothing compared to this. Jim pulled up short and glanced around the corner, speaking low. "Sometimes patrols come through here. They're the only ones who are supposed to be by the gun room, unless someone higher up tells them beforehand that someone's coming. We gotta be careful."

Brenley and Nadia nodded.

They followed him down the hallway. He must have jinxed the situation as not thirty seconds later, there was a noise and they all froze.

" _Shit,_ " Jim whispered. It was the obvious sound of a group of people walking.

Brenley looked at him with wide eyes. " _Can we hide in this room?_ " He gestured at a door they stood next to.

" _They're supposed to check the side rooms_."

" _I don't think we have much of a choice! We could pretend the lock is jammed or something._ "

Jim glanced back and forth before swearing and wrenching open the door, rushing in. Nadia and Brenley followed. Nadia slammed the door shut while trying not to make too much noise and sat against the door with her back to it to stop it from opening. Brenley joined her as Jim sat across from them. Bootsteps could be heard down the hallway.

As the members came closer, Nadia glanced back at Brenley, her heart in her throat. For some reason, he had taken his wallet out and was staring at it. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes as they heard the men stomp past them. They all braced, ready for the door to be pushed up against their backs. But, nothing happened. The boots moved on.

Jim whispered, " _Holy shit. They always check the side doors."_

Nadia let out a long pent up breath, relaxing back onto the wall. She turned her head to look at Brenley. He had put his wallet away and sighed with relief. There was a pause as they all silently thanked god or luck or whatever had stopped the guards from looking in that door. Brenley gave a nervous laugh.

"Fuckin hell boys. I guess they only check when the boss's kid is there and could rat them out."

"What were you looking at?" Nadia asked. She knew that she really probably shouldn't have asked but she was very curious what it was. She knew it was a picture but it couldn't be one of Feliks, they didn't have printers up here. He stared at her a second before sighing.

"You know Ava? Little girl I bring into class every once in awhile."

"Your flatmates daughter?"

"Yeah. She's- well, she's also mine."

Nadia stared at him, speechless. Finally she found her words. "What? But, you specifically told us she wasn't!"

"I lied. It's just, I was the donor, and I'm obviously not with her mother but I've been helping raise her so I'm still kind of her dad. But it would be annoying explaining that and people would wonder why me and Sofia aren't together."

Even Jim seemed a bit shocked.

"Fuck Brens, you're a  _dad?_ "

He nodded silently.

"Jesus," Nadia said. "Why the fuck are you here? Man you got a kid! You have to get back to her!"

"I know! Which is why I almost had a heart attack there!"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Why do you think."

She looked down. "Because you can't tell people things."

"Exactly." He swallowed.

"...We should probably go." Jim said. "Not to…" He trailed off, shrugging.

"Yeah, you're right." Brenley got up, putting his hand on the floor to help him to his feet. He glanced back at Nadia. "Gotta get back to my kid right?"

She nodded numbly, still trying to process the information. Opening the door a crack, Jim peered out.

"'Sall clear."

Luckily, the rest of the way was clear. The door to the gun room had a combination lock like Jim had said, and apparently they had changed the combo so that others wouldn't be able to go in and see that things were missing.

The room had as many guns as a sketchy redneck cabin in the middle of Idaho. As they they started gathering them, Brenley stood by Nadia, lifting down some of the rifles hung up, staring ahead rather than looking at her. "I'm sorry for not saying anything about Ava."

"It's okay. She's your kid, it's your say who you tell and who you don't."

"I promise, it's not because I don't trust you or didn't want you to know or… any of that. In fact I really wanted to tell you because, she's a big part of my life and I kinda wanted you to know about her but… I just can't fucking tell people things like that. I wanted you to know that I have a four year old that I miss like hell, who refuses to draw anything other than hand turkeys and sorts her food by color."

Nadia smiled. "It's okay Brens. And, I've seen how you act around her and… and it's not like I'm an expert but I'm pretty sure you're an awesome dad."

He smiled slightly, she could tell by how his eyes crinkled. "Thanks. I don't know what the hell I'm doing but that's what I have  _my_ parents for."

"Yeah true." Nadia thought back to the few times he had brought her into class. He didn't do it often, only when Sofia was out of town. She seemed to be very quiet, not only because Brenley had mentioned she was nonverbal but in just her actions; she'd sit on his shoulders for the entire lecture and just stare down, fiddling with his hair.

It hit her that that was the reason he was so conflicted over how much he hated his aspergers. How was he supposed to teach her to be confident about that part of herself when he himself was so insecure about it. Nadia wanted to help him, but had no idea how.

They didn't talk until they reached the exit again. When they did, the three women seemed very relieved to see them. They set the guns down and took a few breaths of relief.

"Okay," Brenley said, getting right to it. "We should get all these outside. I think all together we can carry everything. I already signaled the others so they should be coming soon."

They all nodded and Brenley started handing guns to the women. As he handed some to Alexis, Nadia could see her making some pretty big dew eyes at him. It was obvious he mistook her smile as general friendliness and smiled back. "You got that?"

Alexis nodded. "Yeah. I'm good."

"Okay good."

Nadia couldn't help but smile a bit at their interaction, amused at his slightly misguided good intentions.

They all worked together to carry the guns outside, but given they were only wearing normal clothes, Alexis, Helena, and Sara had to go back inside to wait or they'd freeze to death.

Soon, the massive figure of a sky whale breached the surface of the clouds, vapor rolling off of it very majestically for something that essentially looked like a 100 foot potato. It's massive fins rippled down it's length as it floated closer. It came in to land and one of the two figures on it slid down it's flank onto the ground. It was wearing white goggles and a sky blue coat. Nadia couldn't see Brenleys face but she could tell he was surprised. He went over. "Feliks? What are you doing here?"

"Helping. Like hell am I sitting in that building waiting for someone to save me."

"Won't they come looking for you?"

"We're escaping El. I doubt we can last much longer without them noticing." He turned and lugged Brenleys super soaker off the saddle. "Here."

"Ah, prefect, thank you."

Nadia joined them. "So, are you going back with Jim?"

"Nah, fuck that, I'm staying with you." He handed them a pile of clothes which Nadia accepted and brought back to the women. They thanked her and took a second to don them before joining the others outside. Krupin had taken his scarf and goggles off and they gaped at seeing him.

"Oh, h-hello doctor." Helena said, a bit starstruck. Nadia had almost forgotten that Krupin was an actual public figure, who almost everyone knew.

He gave one of his charming smiles. "Hey. You can just call me Feliks. Nice to meet you all."

It took them a while to get situated with all the guns and such on the whale as well as transferring the stuff they'd need for the beyersdorf. As soon as all three of them and Jim were on it, they said their goodbyes and wished them well. Nadia gave a wave as the whale floated up, then started heading off towards the normal peak.

Once it was submerged in clouds, it suddenly seemed like they were exposed and alone. Somehow, it felt colder. Krupin was standing on the edge of the cliff, staring off into the fog. The clouds had parted slightly and though the surface could not be seen, lower down on the mountain was the jagged edges of rocks, covered in a dusting of snow.

Brenley walked over to him, touching his shoulder. "You good?"

He dragged his gaze up from the rocks. "Hm? Oh, yeah, yeah I'm okay. It's just… everything has a, new frame of reference for me. I'm not gonna do anything, but there's always these annoying little thoughts in the back of my head saying 'just jump'. It's a bit freaky."

Brenley rubbed his back. "Let's go get ready."

"Yeah." He turned, then nudged into Brenley's shoulder. "I'm not gonna leave you okay? It's just stupid thoughts. Comes with the depression. It's normal."

"I know. I get stupid thoughts sometimes. I think it just comes with fucky brains in general."

"Yeah."

They had kept Brenley's ghostbuster pack, an assault rifle, Nadia's gun she had made, and a couple handguns. They decided that given how outnumbered the others were, it would be best if they had the real guns as the three of them could probably make do with the more homemade ones.

Brenley handed the gun Nadia had made, that they had nicknamed 'the peashooter', to Krupin. Krupin frowned then looked back up. Him and Brenley had a quick silent argument with just their eyes, which Brenley eventually won by giving him a frank look.

"Okay." Krupin said, glancing away.

"It's not useless Fil. It's not like we gave you a potato gun there, that thing will seriously fuck someone up. It just won't kill them."

"I get it El."

Brenley and Nadia changed out of the GIRA clothes and into their normal outerwear. It was warmer anyways and they needed the goggles to communicate. It was not easy changing and the brief time they didn't have outerclothes on was freezing. It did give Nadia the chance to take the bandages off her chest though, which felt amazing. And in a stroke of genius for a gay man, Krupin had actually remembered she'd need a bra and had brought one along. After that, they put on the extra padding and graphene. Finally, they pulled on thick headcovers to add padding to their heads and wrapped a graphene scarf sort of shape around everything but their eyes.

Brenley shouldered his super soaker, complaining a bit about the weight and Nadia grabbed a backpack filled with other random things they might need. All of them had sash sort of things with grenades Brenley had made clipped onto the front. Nadia kinda hoped they would look badass but with the extra padding and backpacks and all the gear they were loaded down with, they looked like a squad of special ops pillsbury doughboys.

Krupin glanced around. "We good to go?"

They both nodded.

"Alright, lets fuck up this wormhole."


End file.
